Approaching Shadows (9)
Muerangde burst into a delighted giggle. “Just kidding.”
The girl who always seemed awkward at talking to others or being around them was now laughing so naturally. “I don’t have any friends, you know.”
Muerangde grabbed the front paws of the rabbit clutched in her arms and spread them wide. While staring only at the rabbit’s pose of celebration, she continued speaking.
“You said you’re fifteen, right?”
“Ah, yes….”
“It’s a little embarrassing for me to say this since I’m only two years older, but… this place is also a kind of society. Especially since it’s a school created directly by the Governor-General and the Emperor, influential families from all over gather here. It’s a place to study, but at the same time, it’s a place to build relationships that will be useful in the future. Marei de Paw… ah….”
Muerangde let out a long sigh. Then, as if realizing something, she bit her lip hard and squeezed her eyes shut. She kicked a pebble at her feet, sending it lightly over the bushes.
“.........This is for your own good, but it’s better if you don’t get close to me.”
“Pardon?”
“It won’t be useful for the future, and if we get close, I’ll probably cause you trouble later on.”
“What do you mean by that?”
At Marei’s questioning look, Muerangde smiled. Her smile, close to self-mockery, looked incredibly lonely, but the young boy who didn’t know what to say simply stared at her in silence.
“You’ll understand once you experience school life. Thank you for today.”
At Muerangde’s sudden change in attitude, Marei grabbed her wrist as she stood up. Her red eyes shook violently, but Muerangde carefully pried his hand away.
“If anyone asks why you’re hanging around with me, just say it’s because of Lee Ha-eun.”
“Melan? Why all of a sudden…?”
“I must have forgotten my own situation and acted like a fool for a moment.”
“Then… what about going to the principality…?”
“Forget it. See you in the next class, Marei de Pawen.”
At Muerangde’s repeated insistence that he not follow her, Marei gathered his courage and grabbed her once more.
“Still… let’s at least walk down together…”
“I have plans with my sister, so I need to go. Remember what I said. You’re kind, so I hope you don’t get hurt.”
With the words that a teacher would be waiting if he went the opposite way from where she was heading, she vanished into the forest. Marei stared blankly at Muerangde’s confident steps, as if she knew the path well.
None of what had happened today made any sense. No matter how much he shook his head, the thoughts wouldn’t fall away. Even if he wanted to tell someone, it sounded like a long-winded lie, and he’d probably only be laughed at. Because his biological mother’s story was mixed in, he felt guilty telling Labella about it, and his insides felt like they were burning up.
“Why do you look like someone died? Did something happen?”
“Ah, Philia… hello.”
“We saw each other at lunch, and you’re still saying ‘hello’?”
When Marei showed little reaction, Philia stopped trying to continue the conversation and simply sat down beside him. A pleasant scent drifted from her silver-violet hair swaying in the breeze, and Marei cautiously rested his head on her shoulder.
“Isn’t it usually the other way around…?”
Philia subtly shifted her body to make it easier for him to lean on her, yet she grumbled softly. Marei let out a laugh. She felt like an older sister. An older sister who wasn’t that much older. Of course, Philia was technically his senior.
“Something difficult happened. It’s a bit… hard to talk about… so, um…”
“If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to.”
Philia rested her own head on top of Marei’s, who was using her shoulder as a pillow. “You’ll have to get used to it. A world overflowing with malice is quite exhausting.”
“Malice…?”
“Yes,” Philia nodded. “Whether it’s goodwill or kindness, almost none of it comes back properly. Not that I expect it to. If they don’t stab you in the back, you should consider yourself lucky. Is this because of Celine Marta?”
“Huh? No… it’s something else.”
Philia’s head moved slightly, then returned to its original position. “I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Well, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”
“Yes….”
As they sat quietly, the wind felt cold. Philia silently shared her warmth with him. After staying like that for several minutes, Marei grew worried that he might be imposing and carefully lifted his head.
It wasn’t a story he could unravel all at once. If that was the case, perhaps he could unravel it bit by bit. It would probably take a very long time. But the warmth he felt beside him was so comforting that it gave him faith.
“Um… there’s this friend I share classes with… a kid… a senior…? Anyway, there’s someone.”
So he did want to talk. Philia lightly nodded, handling both his desire to speak and her response at the same time.
“She said it would be bad if I got close to her. That this place is where you build relationships useful for the future… and that she’d only get in the way. She also seemed very concerned about my name…”
“She must lead a rather boring life.” Even more so than me. Philia deliberately swallowed the latter part.
“Of course, there are probably a few kids who think that way. There are plenty of mature ones here. They learned by watching, so it makes sense. Still, trying to build relationships just to use them later is too obvious. I’d decline even if they brought a whole pile of people like that. Marei, do you remember what I told you?”
“Ah, yes… that you wanted me to make you fall in love…”
Philia’s face instantly flushed bright red. She turned her head away, cleared her throat several times, and only then did she continue in a composed voice.
“Every time I hear it, I get so embarrassed I want to hide somewhere… If a relationship is built thinking about future gains, then it sounds like they’d throw it away once those gains disappear. Well, that would be an extreme case.”
“They assign tons of group projects while talking about cooperation and teamwork. It’s basically telling you to get close to each other. They call it building social skills or whatever, but in reality, it just means get along with everyone.”
“Friendship is something that can only happen between equals. Not everything has to be equal, but there has to be equality in at least one area. In that sense, a single school itself is a place that artificially creates equal relationships. Especially in the case of Valter….”
“Why do so many people want to attend this school that’s only been around for a few years? The benefits you get from being an alumnus can’t be obtained anywhere else. If you divide people into those who are beneficial and those who aren’t, who would become your friend and who would become your colleague? Talking about future gains… you should just be satisfied with the fact that you came to Valter…”
Philia kept talking without pause. Though she was looking at Marei as she spoke, in reality, her words were a scolding directed at Muerangde, who had stirred ripples in Marei’s heart. Philia, who had risen from her seat, was freely spitting out the words Marei wanted to say.
“That friend? If that kid says something like that, it sounds like she’s being ostracized. Give her a good scolding. Tell her that Marei de Pawen doesn’t make friends based on future gains. He’s just by her side because he wants to be friends with her!”
At the sight of the older girl grabbing both his cheeks and stretching them out, Marei answered diligently despite his distorted pronunciation.
“.....Yes.”
“As the fiancé of Philia the Blood, you should show that kind of spirit! Of course, there are a few pieces of trash I have to be careful about because of me… Time’s up… Let’s talk about that next time. I have plans with my little sister today.”
Marei, who wanted to stay with Philia a little longer, jumped to his feet and stood beside her. But Philia patted his head lightly, saying it was fine, then stroked his cheek twice with a hint of regret before leaving first.
Marei often acted stubborn with older women, but with Philia, he strangely wanted to appear mature and didn’t feel like being stubborn. He watched her departing figure for a long time before turning around, only to find a familiar face waiting for him.
Not far from the bench where he had parted with Philia, Marei was now walking alongside Idrien. Since classes had ended not long ago, the campus was quickly becoming crowded with students. Students carrying armfuls of books, girls holding hands and chattering away, boys letting out heavy sighs, and people hurrying along with bags slung over their shoulders. Most faces were a mix of relief at the end of the day and deep exhaustion as they headed toward the school gate.
The number of people walking against the flow of the crowd heading toward the teachers and nearby alumni was small enough to count on one hand—only Idrien and Marei. Idrien walked forward while holding a thick book titled Advanced Elemental Theory in one hand. Although passing students greeted her, only a few received a light nod in return. It might have seemed rude, but people passed by as if accustomed to it, and Marei simply followed silently behind Idrien.
The sharp, rhythmic click of her heels seemed unusually loud and regular—not just his imagination—as people’s gazes repeatedly landed on Idrien and then slid away. Suddenly, Idrien stopped walking and turned to look at Marei. At her sharp gaze looking down at him, Marei unconsciously stood straight in place.
“Your steps are slow.”
She frowned slightly, mumbled something as if she had more to say, then simply spat out what she wanted and turned forward again. The sight of her voluminous skirt swaying left and right with each step, and above it, the suit that perfectly hugged her slender waistline, made blood rush to Marei’s lower body even in the middle of a crowded path.
Thanks to Idrien slowing her pace to match Marei’s hurried steps, the two soon walked side by side, and the students’ gazes grew even heavier.
“Have you gotten used to the school?”
“Ah, well… yes. A little…”
Marei stuttered in confusion at Idrien’s completely unexpected conversational tone—nothing like the cursing or heated breathing he usually saw when she looked at his face.
“You said you barely knew anything about magic, yet you’re taking both Professor Ilien’s class and mine. Honestly, I was surprised. I’m not sure if you’re confident or just thoughtless…”
At the stinging rebuke, Marei lowered his head and walked silently beside Idrien. Idrien glanced at him and lightly tapped the back of the boy’s bowed neck with her palm.
“After discussing it with Professor Ilien, we decided it might be good for the two of us to teach together. The basic theory overlaps quite a bit anyway, so we’ll both be teaching the class…”
“Pardon?”
Not understanding what she was saying, Marei looked up and saw Idrien’s slightly flushed face. To others it might have looked like she was a little angry, but to the boy who had shared dozens of physical conversations with her, it was clear there was a mix of anticipation and shame in her expression.
“Ahem… ahem… both Professor Ilien and I agreed on this… so starting tomorrow, we’ll be teaching together… It must be confusing since it’s the first you’re hearing of it.”
“Ah, yes!”
In the past, Idrien joining his private time with Ilien would have meant interfering with their relationship. But now, the way she clutched the book tightly with one hand, her face red as she stole glances at him, carried a completely different meaning.
Whether she had grown used to the students’ gazes or simply had nothing more to say, Idrien stopped speaking and subtly slowed her steps, walking with Marei toward her laboratory.
“You know how ridiculous this is, right? A class created for one person when it isn’t even officially open…”
“Ah, well… yes.”
While Lee Ha-eun’s class, Icher de Valentine’s swordsmanship class, and others had set schedules that Marei had simply joined, Ilien’s elemental magic class and Julia’s tactics class were practically created specifically for him. In a way, it could be called special treatment, and he had heard from Celine that other students wouldn’t look at it favorably. However, rather than worrying about that, Marei was currently too preoccupied with the seductive gestures of Julia and Ilien to think much about it…
Before long, Marei had entered Idrien’s laboratory and was now facing her as they talked. Or rather, it would be more accurate to say he was simply listening. Faced with an Idrien completely different from the one who writhed beneath him, Marei straightened his back nervously.
“There’s been quite a bit of talk among the professors. They can’t say it openly because of the Governor-General… Strictly speaking, this school is the Governor-General’s personal property, but since it wears the mask of an educational institution, it still needs to show some degree of fairness.”
As if frustrated, Idrien downed the entire cup of tea in one go and let out a long sigh.
“I don’t know what Professor Julia is thinking… Well, since she’s an outsider, it’s not my place to interfere. The important thing is that my sister opened a class for you like that, and it’s creating bad rumors… Not that you’d care about such things.”
“I’m sorry…”
At Marei’s apology, Idrien gave a small snort and stared blankly into space, lost in thought. The boy, unsure what to say, simply held the teacup with both hands and sipped its contents in the awkward silence.