Things Approaching (3): The Blade
Marei finally understood what it felt like for the hair on his entire body to stand on end. “W-wait a moment… I, I am…”
“Marei?”
A familiar voice reached him. At the same time, the spear blade pressing against his stomach was withdrawn.
“Philia…?”
“You startled me… I thought you were an assassin again.”
Philia let out a small sigh and set down the spear that looked far too large for her. It melted into the floor and vanished. The girl who had trembled in his arms only last week was nowhere to be found; instead, she twisted a lock of her hair and turned her gaze aside.
“You really scared me…”
“You should have called out. You nearly caused a disaster! Honestly…”
Marei, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, spread his arms and took a step forward to embrace her. Philia, the vampire princess, took a step back, visibly startled by the sudden approach of the young boy. Having grown accustomed to being surrounded by women, Marei had become oddly insensitive to a maiden’s heart. He simply stepped forward and pulled her into a firm hug.
Unable to push him away or return the embrace, the girl stood awkwardly in his arms.
“Philia, have you been well?”
“Uh… yeah. It’s only been a day.”
When he released the hug and looked at her face again, Philia tried to meet his eyes but quickly glanced away whenever their gazes met. Her red pupils darted elsewhere. Finding her obvious embarrassment unbearably cute, Marei tried several more times to catch her eyes. Realizing she could no longer avoid him, Philia clenched her fists, pressed her lips together, and after a brief hesitation, grabbed his wrist and pulled him along.
“Shall we sit down and talk first?”
Despite her confident strides, the small hand holding his wrist trembled faintly, and he could feel a slight dampness. The gap between her attempt to appear composed and her actual nervousness was so endearing that Marei followed her with a smile. She led him to the campus café.
“Have you been well?”
“I already told you, it’s only been a day…”
“Still.”
When Marei answered with a smile, Philia gave a slight nod—different from before—and replied softly, almost inaudibly, “Yeah.”
“Princess… ah, you said you didn’t like being called that, right? Lady Philia…”
Philia suddenly covered her mouth and laughed. Unlike Julia, the corners of her eyes curved into gentle arcs when she smiled.
“Just call me by my name. And not princess—grand duchess would be more accurate.”
“Yes, Philia.”
He had assumed “princess” was correct from the broadcasts he had seen in the principality, but hearing it directly from her, “grand duchess” felt more fitting.
“I was planning to visit you after afternoon classes, but you came first.”
Philia was forcing a smile, yet her usually straight shoulders had drooped slightly. Instead of speaking, she simply twisted her silver hair again.
“I wanted to see you, and then I did.”
“Ah, really…”
Philia could not continue and let out a small sigh, covering her face.
“…Don’t say things like that.”
“Pardon?”
“Don’t say things like that so casually. It’s embarrassing.”
While covering her face with one hand and sipping her iced coffee through a straw, Philia’s ears turned a faint shade of red. The sight was so cute that laughter bubbled out of Marei. Displeased by his laughter, she glared at him without bothering to hide her flushed face.
“Were you embarrassed?”
“Of course I was… Honestly… after doing something like that…”
A headache came over her, yet strangely, it wasn’t unpleasant. Philia let out a long sigh. Unlike the composed appearance she had shown yesterday, the vulnerable side she revealed today made Marei feel an overwhelming urge to kiss her.
“Do you remember when you said we should trust each other and asked me to make you like me?”
“Yes!”
Philia’s lips puckered in surprise at Marei’s cheerful, matter-of-fact reply, then she sighed again. She seemed to be sighing more often lately.
“…A word of advice: if you push too hard like that, it’s embarrassing.”
Her voice grew smaller toward the end, almost trailing off. Her blood-red eyes could not properly meet the face right in front of her. A faint moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes, as if she might burst into tears at any moment.
“Hearing you say we should trust each other sounded so sweet that it frightened me.”
Looking away, her half-lidded red eyes reflected the half-empty coffee on the table. Letting out a breath, the girl continued in an oddly calm voice.
“Think about it. Trusting someone also means it becomes easier to get hurt. I can’t even ask someone to trust me easily—not even my own family. People say they’re doing it for your sake, that they’re thinking of you, but in the end, they end up hurting you anyway.”
Maybe I’m the one who’s lacking. Philia swallowed the rest of her words and offered a faint smile. The sight of her smiling weakly felt far more unsettling than her sighs. Perhaps it was because the girl he should have seen as a peer felt impossibly distant.
“I’m going to become king.”
Philia was smiling. Weakly. No—now her smile had grown far too deep. With her eyes closed, the corners of her mouth lifted all the way to her ears, carrying an immense self-mockery.
“I don’t care if they call me a madwoman who stabbed her own father in the back. I don’t care if they call me a monster who devoured her own sibling born from the same womb. It doesn’t matter what they say. I want to be king. No—I have to become king.”
It was an expression utterly at odds with her youthful appearance. A look he had never seen on anyone else, one that even felt frightening. She was smiling, yet she was not smiling. She was looking at Marei, yet she was looking beyond him.
“Is the throne really that important?”
Philia pressed her lips together. Then she stared at Marei for a long time. Seeing the boy’s black eyes that did not waver even under the heavy silence, she suddenly burst into laughter as if it were nothing.
“Not at all. That kind of position means nothing.”
“Then why do you speak of it with such a frightening expression?”
“Because if I don’t sit on the throne, someone else will. If it were my younger sister, I wouldn’t mind. But that bastard… Wait. I’m about to say something vulgar.”
A small pink tongue slipped out and moistened her lips. The glimpse of her white fangs was both frightening and strangely captivating.
“The second child. That whore’s illegitimate son. If that brat takes the throne, the end awaiting us sisters will be worse than hell. Well, I can already picture exactly how it will go.”
Philia’s face was expressionless. The title of grand duke was equivalent to ruling a land the size of an entire kingdom. The empire’s sole grand duke, and the sole territory connected to the sea. Even Marei, who had little interest in politics or schemes, understood the geographical advantages of the principality and its influence within the empire. And now the silver-haired vampire girl was declaring, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, that this vast land and its singular title belonged to her.
Faced with the distant figure of the silver-haired vampire girl, Marei unconsciously reached out and took her hand. It was faintly lukewarm. Smaller than his own. Her skin looked unnaturally pale. Yet seeing the girl who carried such composure, he felt an unbearable thirst.
“Philia.”
“You don’t need to help me. This is my problem. But if you stay by my side, you’ll keep getting dragged into filthy, despicable, nauseating affairs you’ve never seen in the Pawen family. You might come to hate me. You might reject our entire race. This is your last chance to run.”
“Philia.”
“Having you would be a great help. A truly enormous help. Even if the Governor-General of Valter doesn’t approve of you, you’re still the legitimate heir of the Pawen family. So if you let go of my hand now, you won’t have to see anything dirty, and you won’t have to associate with people who make your skin crawl.”
“Philia.”
“The answer is yours to give, Marei de Pawen. Meeting you was a coincidence, but when I met you in the principality, I wondered how I could use you. You were far too useful. I thought that if I created even a small connection, you would be an immense help.”
Philia kept speaking before he could call her name again.
“That’s why I drank your blood on purpose. You were too pure. If I said the right words, showed the right behavior, and became a good lover, you would surely take my side.”
Philia was smiling. And she was angry.
“It was embarrassing, but I thought I had to do it. An opportunity lasts only a moment, but regret lasts far too long.”
The vampire princess raised her free hand and placed it on Marei’s cheek. The small hand touching his face trembled.
“But when I actually faced you, it was terrifying. I was so scared that I wanted to hide somewhere.”
The girl before him was furious. Yes—she was pouring out her anger at him, anger that had reached its peak.
“I got swept up in the moment and just kept going. At first I wondered what on earth I was doing, but I comforted myself by thinking it wasn’t so bad, and it became bearable. And later I discovered myself drowning in pleasure. Isn’t that funny?”
Yes. She was angry at herself. Marei did not know exactly when her anger had begun, but the sight of her struggling with her own emotions was both unbearably lovely and heartbreaking.
“Philia.”
“You find me disgusting too, don’t you? I do as well.”
Philia was not smiling. No—she looked as though she no longer had the strength to smile. Unlike the burning intensity in her eyes when she spoke of the throne, her red pupils had lost their light and were trembling violently. Marei unconsciously tightened his grip on her hand.
“Lia, may I kiss you?”
The vampire girl’s eyes widened. Her expressionless face crumpled, then her wide eyes gradually narrowed as the corners drooped, as if drowsy.
“…You don’t need to comfort me.”
“I want to kiss you. Deeply. Everywhere—inside your mouth, on your chest, on your stomach. So that you won’t have those thoughts anymore. So deeply that you forget everything…”
“Honestly… what a distasteful way to comfort someone. The worst kind of comfort, really.”
Philia let out a long sigh. Yet she was smiling. Not a self-mocking, cynical, or derisive smile—just a genuine one.
“Still… I understand your sincerity. Thank you.”
Philia stood up and stretched lightly, as if shaking everything off, as if rousing her drooping self.
“Still, you should give romance novels a bit more credit. I like them quite a lot, you know.”
“There’s no class, but I can’t stay any longer. It’s too embarrassing. Goodbye, Marei.”
Philia patted Marei’s shoulder a few times and walked away. Her retreating figure, disappearing with quick steps, looked so small and cute that Marei found himself smiling without realizing it.
Lunchtime had already ended in a blur. Marei had been so lost in his conversation with Philia that he had completely forgotten about the lascivious slaves waiting for him. Had he said something wrong? Had he upset Philia? Such thoughts grew heavier as he sat dazed until the bell signaling the end of lunch finally snapped him back to reality, and he returned to the classroom.
Worried about being late, he had run, but only a few students remained in the classroom. Realizing he had no class, Marei finally remembered that he had forgotten about Ilien and the others. He headed to the research lab, but everyone had already gone to class. As he turned back toward the classroom, he somehow took a wrong turn and found himself wandering through the forest.
Having grown up in a quiet village surrounded by high walls and mountain ranges, forests were both frightening and familiar to Marei. Lost in thoughts of Philia and Julia, it took him some time to notice anything strange about walking through the woods.
In the end, Marei was now lost. Since he had followed the path, all he needed to do was turn back the way he came. Yet the scenery around him felt both familiar and unfamiliar, leaving him unsure whether he should continue forward or retrace his steps.
It would have been better if the path ahead had felt familiar. The real problem was that his feet kept trying to move toward a direction that was not a path at all—toward a small mountain connected by no visible trail. A strangely sweet scent wafted through the air. Hearing his instincts whisper to take the side path, Marei decided to follow them just this once. After all, the boy who every night instinctively relied on his urges and poured his seed inside his mother without a second thought was already intimately familiar with following his instincts.
Or perhaps he was simply ruled by them—enough to pour his seed into his adoptive mother without regard for their relationship.
After walking for several minutes, a single massive red torii stood before him. No—dozens, perhaps over a hundred, lined up in a row. The sight, eerie yet majestic, filled with a strange sacredness, made Marei reach out and touch the red gate without thinking.
It felt nostalgic. He had never seen this enormous torii before, yet it felt nostalgic. Familiar. And his heart raced. He did not know why this massive red structure was called a torii, nor why it stirred such longing within him. Yet Marei found himself walking down the long path lined with torii gates.