Chapter 197: An Ill-Fated Relationship (3)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 197: An Ill-Fated Relationship (3)
After returning to her hometown, Neria's condition worsened with each passing day. It was inevitable. Everywhere she looked, she felt the traces of Cloud.
What tormented her most was the wooden dolphin carving she kept cherished in her arms.
It had been shattered to pieces and glued back together, a wooden carving that could hardly be called beautiful.
But it was something Cloud's father had made for each of them, one for Cloud and one for Neria.
To her, it was no different from her most precious treasure.
Whenever she held it and looked at it, memories of a happy past would surface, memories of her childhood spent laughing with Cloud, and it was agonizing.
The pain was so great that she would cry herself to sleep, night after night.
After days of skipping meals, even her body, which surpassed normal human limits, began to break down.
Dark circles formed under her eyes, her cheeks grew gaunt, and the light in her eyes faded.
Ophelia watched her with a heavy heart. Neria was her precious companion and friend. She couldn't just stand by and watch her waste away from guilt and self-blame.
Ophelia approached Neria and said, "Neria. Have you ever heard of penance?"
"What the hell are you two doing?"
The hut's door flew open, and at the sound of the harsh voice, Ophelia jumped and whipped her head around. The moment she saw Cloud's murderous expression, her heart sank.
Why would he show up now, of all times?
"H-Hero, what brings you here...?"
"I asked you. What the hell are you doing?"
"Th-this is..."
Ophelia's voice trembled. Neria was cutting herself with a knife while Ophelia watched. It was a scene ripe for misunderstanding. Just as she was about to explain what was happening, Cloud strode toward them.
His eyes scanned the cuts carved into Neria's body.
His brow furrowed.
"Hey. Neria."
Only then did Neria look at Cloud. Seeing her lifeless eyes, he suppressed a rising sigh and spoke.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"What about it?"
"What do you mean, 'what about it'? Are you serious? After doing that to your body?"
"What I do with my body is none of your business."
She sneered and tried to carve another line into her skin with the dagger. Cloud snatched it from her and threw it out of the hut. Neria's expression soured.
"What are you doing? Besides, didn't I tell you last time to stay out of my sight?"
Cloud ignored Neria and turned to glare coldly at Ophelia.
"You call yourself a Saint Candidate, and you just stand there watching your companion hurt herself?"
"Hero, this isn't self-harm, it's a proper form of penance—"
"Penance? Bullshit. This is why I hate fucking zealots."
Cloud's expression grew even more menacing. He had seen far too many fanatics commit human sacrifices and other disgusting acts in the name of their gods. The moment Ophelia tried to justify simple self-harm as 'penance,' he felt she was no different from them.
As Cloud's reaction grew colder, Ophelia's pupils trembled uncontrollably.
"Y-Yes...? N-No, Hero. Please, calm down and just listen to what I have to say—"
"Shut up. I don't even want to hear your voice. Just shut your mouth and heal Neria's wounds... No, on second thought, I'll use a potion for the wounds. Just get lost."
"Hero...!"
"Didn't you hear me? I said get lost. I can't stand the sight of you."
"Hero..."
Tears welled up in Ophelia's eyes. On the day Creas of the Four Heavenly Kings appeared, Cloud had saved her from the beatings of an angry mob and even defeated the king himself. To her, he had become an idol... no, something more.
It was no exaggeration to say he was everything that supported her now, replacing her shattered faith.
And now, that very person was rejecting and condemning her.
Ophelia felt as if the world had abandoned her. Regardless of how she felt, Cloud paid her no more mind and turned his head toward Katarina and Leslie.
"Do you have a potion?"
"Huh? Ah, yes. I do."
Leslie stammered, uncharacteristically, as she handed him a potion.
Both Leslie and Katarina were stunned; they had never seen Cloud this furious before.
After taking the potion, he turned back and scowled at the sight of Ophelia, who was frozen, not knowing what to do.
"Still here? Don't want to move? Too much trouble? You want me to send you on your way?"
Cloud reached out to grab Ophelia by the collar.
Neria caught his arm.
"I was the one who wanted to do it. So don't bully Ophelia."
"I'm sure you were. That's why you were holding the knife. But that doesn't mean Ophelia is blameless."
"What is she responsible for?"
"That so-called cleric encouraged you to self-harm with some nonsense about penance. If that's not wrong, what is?"
"Ophelia was just trying to help me."
"Help? How is cutting yourself helping? I get that you're struggling mentally. But if that woman were a proper cleric, she should have offered you actual psychological help, not self-harm. Confession, prayer, there were plenty of normal ways—"
"Those normal ways don't work!"
It was the first time she had yelled with any emotion since Cloud had arrived, breaking through her cynical facade.
"Confession! Prayer! I've tried them all. And nothing changes. Every single day, I think of Cloud. I miss him, I want to hold him! When I think of him, my chest feels so tight, it hurts so much I feel like I'm going to die!"
"..."
"I can't even sleep these days. Because Cloud shows up even in my dreams. Do you know what he says there?"
Neria's face twisted in sorrow. Tears welled in her bloodshot eyes and streamed down her cheeks.
"He says he's fine. He says he's sorry. That he didn't know I'd be in so much pain... Th-that fool is so damn kind, even in my dreams... worrying about a worthless bitch like me..."
Her words dissolved into sobs.
"Every time, I want to tell him I'm sorry, that this happened because I was pathetic, I want to beg for his forgiveness on my hands and knees, but my body won't move. If I struggle to even open my mouth, I wake up. It happens every single night. I feel like I'm going insane."
"..."
"I've even thought it would be better to just die. I felt like I had to apologize in the afterlife for what I couldn't in reality or in my dreams. But when I actually tried to die, I couldn't. Do you know why?"
"Neria..."
Cloud said her name as if to stop her, but she didn't.
"Because I'm scared... I'm scared that, unlike in my dreams, he'll look at me with hatred and contempt. I'm scared I won't even be able to meet him in the afterlife. I'm so scared I can't even die..."
Finally, Neria broke down. She collapsed to the floor, sobbing as she wiped away the flood of tears with both hands.
"That's why the pain... hic, I like the pain... When it hurts, I don't think about Cloud as much..."
"..."
Cloud stood silently, looking down at Neria, who couldn't stop crying. She was trapped in the grief of losing someone she loved.
Not only was she trapped, but her body and mind were also breaking.
Seeing her like this, he could understand just how deep Neria's feelings for the real Cloud ran, and because of that, he could empathize with her.
He, too, had memories of losing someone precious.
Cloud spoke to the other three, excluding Neria.
"Could you head back to the village for a bit? I want to talk to Neria alone."
Remembering Cloud's earlier rage, Leslie and Katarina hesitated for a moment, but they soon led the devastated-looking Ophelia out of the hut.
Now, only Neria and Cloud remained in the hut.
He uncapped the potion bottle and tilted it, pouring the liquid onto her skin. As the pale crimson potion touched her, the wounds began to heal rapidly.
Cloud took out another potion and said, "The Empire has put a bounty on Gis's head."
Neria's body flinched. She was so shocked that she stopped wiping her tears and looked up at Cloud.
He continued speaking as he poured more potion.
"He didn't answer the Hero Summoning Order. Officially, Gis is no longer a Hero. There's no problem with killing him. What do you think?"
"What do I think...?"
"That reckless bastard threatened you with his power, forcing you to betray Cloud, and the shock of it drove Cloud to take his own life. Because of him, Cloud's life was ruined, and you're suffering like this. And while all that was happening to you two, what about him? He's been living high and mighty without a care in the world."
"..."
"Don't you feel wronged? Aren't you angry?"
Her tears had stopped, and the muscles in her face were tense. Her lips were bitten raw, and blood trickled from her clenched fist.
It was a clearer answer than any words could be.
Cloud crouched down to meet Neria's eyes.
"Don't you want revenge?"
At the word 'revenge,' a strange light flickered in her eyes.
But it was only for a moment. The life in her blue eyes quickly faded again.
"Revenge... I want it... But I can't. I'm too weak."
If she had been strong, she would never have yielded to such a threat in the first place. And she wouldn't have lost Cloud.
Lost in self-loathing, Neria swallowed her anger and spoke.
Cloud shook his head.
"I'm asking about your will. Not about whether revenge is possible. I can close any gap in power."
"...Is that possible?"
"You saw it in your dream, didn't you? What kind of person I am."
"Ah..."
Remembering the scene from her nightmare, she let out an unconscious gasp.
That's right. Lost in her anger, guilt, and self-hatred, she had momentarily forgotten. Forgotten what kind of man stood before her.
He was a valiant warrior who had crossed the line between life and death countless times, a hero of reversals who could turn the tide of even the most unfavorable battles.
He asked her again.
"What do you want to do?"
This time, she didn't hesitate.
"I want revenge. Please, help me, Hero."
At that, he smiled.
"Alright."