Chapter 194: Responsibility (11)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 194: Responsibility (11)
“Ah, alright. I'm going. I'll go, so please, make sure you eat!”
With Ophelia's worried words, the door slammed shut. As Neria, unable to cool her anger, glared at the door and seethed, she could hear Ophelia and Eri talking through the crack.
-Ugh, she's so stubborn.
-Neria cared deeply for Lord Cloud. She's just that upset, that's all.
-Who doesn't know that? I know she's upset. But there's a limit to everything! Is it normal to lock yourself in your room, skip meals, and just mope around?
“That...!”
Eri's uncomprehending voice made Neria's vision swim. She wanted to kick the door open right then and there, grab Eri by the collar, and scream, 'So you think it's normal to grieve for a few weeks after a comrade dies and then just go back to your daily lives?!'
She actually gripped the doorknob, ready to do just that...
But her hand soon fell away, limp.
She knew it was pointless.
Doing this wouldn't bring Cloud back.
The anger that had flared like a fire died down in an instant. A sense of helplessness and exhaustion filled the void it left behind. She relaxed the muscles in her contorted face, her shoulders slumping as she sighed.
She locked the door and turned away.
The inside of the worn-out hut was unbelievably clean for a place that had been abandoned for years. That was because Neria had cleaned it as soon as she arrived in the village. But even cleaning couldn't erase the signs of time etched into the furniture and walls.
If she wanted it to look cleaner, she'd have to replace everything.
But Neria had no intention of doing so.
She approached the wall in the corner opposite the bed. It was covered in marks, as if scratched by something sharp. A strange smile on her face, she caressed the marks with her hand.
-Look! I got taller!
-You're still shorter than me.
-...They say boys grow later than girls. When I get older, I'll be taller than you.
-Who told you that?
-My dad! Right, Dad?
-Mister, that's not true, right? I'll always be taller than Cloud, won't I?
Memories of a happy past surfaced.
In their childhood, an immature Neria and Cloud used to argue over silly things, their pride on the line.
Back then, Mister usually took my side.
Neria was the village chief's granddaughter, after all. Cloud's father took her side in most cases, and Cloud would feel betrayed and pout. Whenever that happened, his mother would pull him into an embrace, and Neria would often toddle over and sneak into the hug as well.
Those were good times...
Cloud's home was poor, but it was a warm place filled with laughter.
Neria's hand, stroking the wall, stopped at the last mark. The scratches, carved with a blade, ended at a height that would fit a ten-year-old at most.
There was a reason the marks stopped. Cloud's father and mother, the ones who should have been making them, had disappeared one after the other. Suddenly an orphan, Cloud had no one left to mark his height on the wall...
No, there was someone.
There was.
One single person.
That person was Neria, herself.
She had been taller than Cloud; she could have marked his height on the wall. Even if he grew taller than her, she could have used a chair to keep marking it.
But no such marks remained on the wall.
Of course not.
She hadn't done such a meaningless thing.
At the time, seeing Cloud struggling after losing his parents, she had decided she had to protect him. So, unlike her peers, she focused on physical training and learned swordsmanship from travelers who sometimes stayed in the village.
With each passing day, as her stamina and sword skills improved, Neria felt she was doing the right thing. She even felt a sense of accomplishment when she beat up the kids who bullied Cloud.
But now, she regretted all of it.
I thought I was taking good care of him...
She thought she had done her best.
She even felt as if she had half-raised him herself.
What an arrogant, foolish thought.
It was true that she had saved him from bullies and made sure he had food. It was also true that this had helped him.
But did it help solve the real problems he faced?
No.
Cloud couldn't get along with the other kids his age.
Why?
Because Neria stopped them from even approaching him.
Cloud wasn't treated well by the village adults.
Why?
Because her father, the village chief's son, resented seeing her take care of Cloud's meals, watching him eat their family's food for free.
In the end, Cloud was isolated in the village.
Because of her.
Stupid bitch...
Instead of swinging a sword, she should have marked his height on the wall one more time. Instead of training, she should have had a warm conversation with him.
Instead of all that training, she should have been soothing his ailing heart.
If she had, Cloud might have been able to overcome his characteristic timidness and lack of confidence.
If she had, Cloud would have believed in himself, and perhaps his talent as a Hero would have blossomed.
If she had!
Something like this...
It never would have happened.
Only now did Neria realize it. Her desire to protect him had been a twisted one, a mix of pity and possessiveness. She should have abandoned that desire.
She should have cherished and loved him, but let him go when the time came.
He should have left on his journey as the Hero, and she should have stayed in the village as the childhood friend who had promised him a future.
Even if the brief separation was painful, even if she would have worried herself sick that he might cheat on her, that's what she should have done.
But she couldn't.
And she regretted it terribly.
Neria collapsed onto the floor.
Hugging her knees, she buried her face in them and began to think those pointless thoughts—what if I had done this back then, what if I had done that—imagining a happy future with Cloud born from the right choices, only to realize that future could never exist, and despair.
She had started it again, the thing she'd been doing all day since returning to the hut.
All the while, the soup Ophelia and Eri had brought grew cold.
*
“How did you get here?”
“Frillite brought me. More importantly, are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”
Lorraine looked at me through the iron bars, her expression wistful.
I let out a small laugh, as if to tell her not to worry.
“I'm fine. The guards are nice, and the food is good.”
“Are you really okay?”
“I told you, I'm fine. What about you? Why do you look like you've been chewing on shit?”
“...Of all the things to say...”
Lorraine furrowed her brow slightly. I couldn't hold back a small chuckle. Yeah, that's the Lorraine I know. I reached out and stroked her hair.
“It's because you look so down. How is it that you look more miserable than me, the one in jail?”
“...”
“Did something happen? Tell me.”
“...”
“Don't hide it. I'm your husband.”
At the word "husband," Lorraine's eyes wavered. She was silent for a long moment before finally speaking.
“I killed my brother. With my own hands.”
Her eyes clouded over with melancholy.
So that's what she was thinking about.
“I killed Lorian.”
Lorraine shook her head.
“That's a lie. I still remember. With these hands, I—his neck—”
As if reliving that moment, her hands began to tremble uncontrollably. I took them in mine. When the shaking subsided, I met her gaze and spoke in a serious tone.
“I killed Lorian.”
“N-no...”
“Even if it wasn't you, he would have died by my hand soon enough. You know what he did to me, right? I hate that bastard. If I had done it, I would have broken his arms and legs and made him die a very painful death. So all you did was spare your brother that suffering. Nothing more, nothing less. You have no reason to feel guilty.”
“Th-that's just forcing it! It doesn't make what I did disappear!”
“It's not forced, it's the truth. If it hadn't been you, Lorian would have died in agony. And so what if it's forced? You're going to be listening to a child's unreasonable demands soon enough. You can put up with one of mine, can't you?”
“...That's sophistry.”
“I know.”
I reached through the bars and gently pulled her into an embrace.
“But even if it's just sophistry, I want you to be at ease. That's why I'm locked up in here. If you're suffering, then all my effort will be for nothing.”
“...”
“Besides, stress isn't good for a pregnant woman. If the mother is stressed out all the time, it's hard on the baby, too. You don't want the baby to suffer, do you? Right?”
“...Yeah.”
“So even if it's hard, please try not to get stressed. For you, for me, and for our child. You can do that, right?”
“...Yeah.”
Lorraine nodded in my arms.
Right, that's all I need.
That's enough.
*
“The Hero, Frillite, and the Platinum Knight Order have gone through the portal.”
“A huge gap has opened in the Empire's military strength. This is the perfect time to expand the Snake Venom Society's territory.”
“Not necessarily. They say the Hero, Cloud, and his party have remained in the Empire.”
“Cloud... that's the one who's been making a name for himself lately. I heard he subjugated a lich with Frillite?”
“That old geezer always just pretends to cause a ruckus before backing off, saying petty squabbles are beneath him. It was probably the same this time.”
“But it's true that he defeated Creas of the Four Heavenly Kings.”
“Four Heavenly Kings or not, Creas is just a kid. He must have gotten himself killed by acting recklessly. Are any of us that stupid? If so, why don't you just die right now?”
“Enough with the jokes. In any case, it doesn't change the fact that the Hero, Cloud, is a force to be reckoned with. Kelidon, how is Gis coming along?”
“He's still far too inexperienced compared to us, but he has mastered Blood Manipulation to some extent.”
“It's only natural he'd be inexperienced compared to us. That's good enough. Let's start making our move.”
The executives of the Snake Venom Society, each the head of their own family, nodded.
All except for one: Hailey.
She had a very bad feeling about this.