Chapter 182: Responsibility
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 182: Responsibility
"...Yeah, thanks."
When he thanked them, their faces, which had held a hint of anxiety, brightened.
"Oh, it was nothing!"
"We only said what needed to be said."
Thinking their comfort had worked, they left the room with smiles on their faces. As soon as they were out of sight, his expression turned cold.
He understood why they were acting that way.
It was probably to soothe his heart, which they thought must be anxious after his identity was revealed. It also likely stemmed from their fear of how their relationship with him would change because of this.
Either way, he could feel that they cherished him.
‘But why...’
Why did this feel so unpleasant?
It didn't take him long to realize the reason.
‘Cloud.’
The real Cloud—not him, the one borrowing his body—was dead. Less than a day after he revealed that fact, they came to comfort him.
As if they didn't really care about the real Cloud's death.
‘...I'm overthinking this.’
They must be feeling conflicted, too. They were just doing this for his sake—
‘No. That's not it.’
No matter how much he tried to tell himself they were just being considerate, the unpleasant feeling wouldn't go away. In the end, he had to admit it.
He was disgusted by the fact that they cared more about him, the fake, than the real Cloud.
The real Cloud had spent years with them. They must have shared countless memories.
He, on the other hand, had been with them for less than two years. He had nothing that could be called a memory. All he had were recollections of driving them harshly.
And yet, they cared more about him, the fake, than the real Cloud.
Why?
Why were they being considerate of him instead of getting angry like Neria? He was just a stranger who had stolen their companion's body.
Because he was reliable?
Because he was helpful?
...It couldn't be for such shallow reasons.
He wanted to believe that.
He wanted to believe the bond of companionship they shared wasn't that shallow. Otherwise, he felt he would be very... disappointed in them.
He suddenly thought of his own former companions.
He imagined them in this situation. His old companions, being considerate to another soul occupying his body instead of getting angry.
CRACK!
The drawer next to the bed shattered as he slammed his fist into it in a fit of rage.
"...Fuck."
He couldn't sleep for a long time.
*
Neria woke up the next morning.
Recalling her memories from just before she fainted, she remembered the truth: Cloud was dead. A sense of loss carved a great hole in her chest.
It was unbearably suffocating.
She was overcome with the urge to see Cloud immediately, but when she remembered he was an imposter, the very sight of him became repulsive.
She packed her bags and left the room.
"You're up?"
And right outside her door, she came face-to-face with the person she least wanted to see.
Cloud, who had been sitting on a chair he'd brought to her door, saw her and stood up.
Neria scowled and turned away.
Cloud grabbed her by the wrist.
"Let go."
"Where are you going with your bags packed?"
"What's it to you?"
Her voice was sharp.
It was a clear departure from how she had always treated Cloud.
He answered, feeling a mix of bitterness and, in a way, relief.
"Because I'm worried."
"Worried?"
Neria let out a hollow laugh.
She spun around and glared at him as if she wanted to kill him.
"Why are you worried about me? You have no reason to be."
"Because you're..."
"Don't you dare say anything about being companions. I traveled with you because I thought you were Cloud. Not some guy named Han Jisu or whatever!"
Neria swung her arm, knocking his hand away.
"Let me ask you one thing while we're at it. What were you thinking all this time, looking at me? No, I don't even need to ask. It must have been hilarious. Watching some nobody who calls herself his childhood friend laugh and cry over your every word and action must have been unbearably funny. Wasn't it?"
The self-mocking look on her face was a twisted expression, half-smile and half-sob.
"...It was never like that."
"As if."
She scoffed and turned her back, making it clear she wanted the conversation to end. Cloud sighed and watched her go before asking Eri and Ophelia to go with Neria for a while.
He was worried she might do something drastic if left alone.
Like hanging herself...
Fortunately, the two understood his concern and followed Neria. Neria didn't object to them coming along. Once they were gone, Cloud felt the tightness in his chest loosen.
It seemed last night's events had been eating away at him more than he'd let on.
After sending them off, it was time for a meal, but he was in no mood to eat. He skipped it and returned to his room, where Leslie and Katarina were waiting for him.
"Lord Cloud."
Leslie was the first to speak. She bowed her head to him.
"First, I would like to apologize for not being able to comfort you last night when you must have been so distraught."
Cloud walked over to Leslie and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"No, you have nothing to apologize for. It's only natural for your mind to be in turmoil after something like that. If anything, I'm the one who should be apologizing..."
"No. The reason I didn't visit you last night wasn't because my mind was in turmoil, but because I was too... excited."
"...?"
Cloud fell silent.
Leslie, meanwhile, was looking at him with an uncharacteristic sparkle in her eyes.
"Your past that I saw in the dream... The image of you sweeping through the battlefield all by yourself kept replaying in my mind, and I couldn't bring myself to come see you. I always knew you were amazing, but I never imagined you were such a great warrior."
Her cheeks flushed as if the mere thought was ecstatic. It was a side of her he'd never seen before, and Cloud was slightly taken aback. Katarina, on the other hand, looked fed up and had distanced herself.
"Are you okay with me not being the real Cloud?"
"I heard that your soul had already been swapped by the time we met. In that case, doesn't this have nothing to do with me?"
"Well, yes, but..."
"I'm not the only one. I'm sure Katarina feels the same way."
Cloud turned his head toward Katarina. Unlike Leslie's ecstatic expression, she was pouting as if she was sulking about something.
"I think the same as Leslie. But."
"But?"
Katarina shot him a sharp glance.
"You sure did it a lot, huh?"
"A lot? What do you mean... Ah."
Realizing what she was talking about, he scratched his head for a moment before speaking.
"Um... sorry?"
"Sorry? You think you can get away with just that?"
"Hey... that was in the past. Long before I met you two."
"Right. To be honest, I wasn't planning on nagging you about every woman you met in the past. Like you said, it was before you met me. But..."
Katarina grabbed both of Cloud's cheeks and pulled hard.
"Seeing it for myself is a different story! I didn't want to see the origin of your dazzling hip techniques with my own two eyes!"
"Ow, ow... that hurts..."
"And that queen, or whatever she was! What was that about you crying like a beast underneath her? Do you have any idea how I felt watching that!?"
"That's because her technique was just so good..."
"Shut up!"
Katarina let go of his cheeks. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Her tongue darted in first, and his moved to meet it.
Their tongues tangled for a long time before she finally pulled away. As he met her gaze with a smile, a white hand suddenly reached in from the side and turned his head.
Smooch.
Their lips met.
Cloud's eyes widened. The owner of the lips pressed against his was Leslie.
He kept his lips firmly shut, blocking her tongue from prying its way in, and glanced over at Katarina.
Strangely, instead of getting angry, Katarina just sighed and nodded her head.
As if giving him permission.
Puzzled but compliant, Cloud opened his lips and let his tongue mingle with Leslie's. She moved her tongue passionately, as if she had been waiting for this very moment.
"...Shouldn't you two stop soon?"
When the kiss showed no signs of ending, an impatient Katarina intervened and pulled them apart. Leslie shot Katarina a look of complaint.
"This was our monumental first kiss. You're being too harsh."
It wasn't her first kiss with him, but she shamelessly lied that it was. Cloud let out a hollow laugh and asked Katarina the question on his mind.
"Katarina, are you okay with me and Leslie kissing? You used to hate it when we got close. Did you have a change of heart or something?"
"Change of heart? What are you talking about? I still hate it."
She waved her hand dismissively.
"But... I also hate seeing you stressed out because of me. I just decided to compromise a little."
Hearing her words, Cloud understood. She was being considerate of the wounded inner self she had seen in the dream. She might grumble a lot, but she was a kind woman at heart.
Cloud pulled her into a tight hug. She didn't resist, melting into his embrace. He gently stroked her back along the curve of her waist, and a look of comfort washed over her face.
He asked cautiously.
"Katarina. Thanks to your compromise, Leslie can be with us now."
"Yeah, that's right. Are you grateful?"
Her tone was soft. Taking it as a green light, he continued.
"Of course I am. So, about that... do you think we could add just one more person?"
"Cloud."
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to die?"
The light turned red.