Chapter 116: Queen Maker (16)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 116: Queen Maker (16)
The magic [Clairvoyance] painted a scene in Eri's mind: Lorraine and Cloud were kissing.
“Ah…?”
Her pupils trembled at the shocking, unexpected sight. Just then, Cloud, who was kissing Lorraine passionately, suddenly whipped his head around to face her.
Startled, she hastily dispelled the magic.
She clutched her pounding heart.
D-did he notice?
Clairvoyance? From this far away?
No, that’s impossible.
At this distance, the form of Clairvoyance wouldn't be visible to the naked eye. To notice it, he'd have to sense the flow of mana, which is impossible unless you're another mage.
And it's even less likely while he's lost in a kiss like that…
‘…’
Startled by the sudden development, a fact she had momentarily forgotten resurfaced.
A kiss.
The act of lovers pressing their lips together.
That's what Lorraine and Cloud were doing.
What in the world is going on?
Her head spun with a thousand thoughts. She stumbled back into the inn and collapsed onto a chair on the first floor. Sweeping her bangs back, she tried to sort through her thoughts.
I went to Cloud's room to see him.
He wasn't there, so she used Clairvoyance to find him. He was at the training grounds near the ruined royal palace. Kissing Lorraine.
Throb—
A pang shot through her chest, but Eri didn't stop thinking.
Why are those two kissing?
Cloud's lover is Katarina.
He said so himself, so it must be true.
Then why was he kissing Lorraine, and not his lover, Katarina?
Is he cheating on her?
No, no. Whether he's cheating or not isn't the point. The reason he's kissing Lorraine is what's important.
What could have possibly happened for him and Lorraine to develop a relationship where they would kiss?
With a look of disgust, she tore at her hair, her mind racing.
Soon, she recalled a complaint Katarina had made.
—“I don't know what he's up to, but he's been coming home late at night recently. Whenever I press him, he just dodges the question.”
Coming home late recently.
That meant this wasn't a relationship that started with just one or two meetings.
She thought of Cloud's changed—no, his more honest—personality.
He doesn't bother with anything that doesn't interest him.
So, the fact that they've met several times means Lorraine must have had something to pique his interest…
…The training grounds.
The two of them were at the training grounds.
Lightly armed.
What could that mean?
Nothing came to mind except sparring.
Aah…
Only then did all the pieces fall into place.
For some reason, Lorraine must have picked a fight or challenged Cloud.
Cloud accepted.
In the form of a spar.
And that sparring, which started at some unknown point, has continued until now, and the two of them fell for each other, leading to their current relationship… Squeeze.
Having pieced it all together, Eri bit her lip hard.
Surging anger and a sense of betrayal clouded her reason. She wanted to run to Cloud right now and demand an explanation.
Why are you kissing that bitch?
Don't you have a lover named Katarina?
Why did it have to be her?
Don't you know what that bitch did to me?
If she had lost just a little more of her composure, she would have done exactly that. She would have made the gem on her staff glow, run to the training grounds, and screamed at him.
But she had a shred of reason left.
What right do I have…?
If Katarina had seen that, she would have had the right, as his lover, to rebuke him for his infidelity.
If it had been Neria, she could have stopped her friend from going down the wrong path, as his childhood friend.
Ophelia, as a cleric, would have admonished him for succumbing to misguided desires.
But what about Eri?
Does she have that right?
What is she to Cloud in the first place?
A companion.
One who left when he was struggling.
One who returned when he was succeeding.
…Is that it? No. There has to be more.
Something…
Anything…
Her grip on her hair tightened. A few strands, unable to withstand the force, were pulled out, but Eri didn't notice.
She racked her brain, hoping to find any proof that she meant something more to Cloud.
But nothing came to mind other than what she'd already thought of: 'a companion.'
Is that really it? Is that all I am to him?
No.
That can't be right.
They've called me a genius since I was a child.
I've never once slacked off.
There has to be something more.
There must be.
Otherwise…
I'd be even more meaningless than that woman, Lorraine…
That can't happen.
Anyone else, maybe, but not her.
No… actually, I'd hate it if it were anyone else, too.
Eri's face twisted into an ugly grimace. Tears streamed from her crinkled eyes, dripping onto the table.
What is this?
What's happening?
Wasn't it enough just to be acknowledged?
Wasn't it fine as long as I was respected and praised?
So why am I like this?
Why am I questioning my meaning in his life?
Why have I become so demanding?
…I don't know.
My head is a hot, jumbled mess.
My chest aches, and these stupid, hiccuping sobs won't stop.
Aah…
What am I, really?
*
Ophelia had been on her way to Eri's room, as usual. That is, until she heard crying from the first floor. She didn't know who was crying at this hour, but it had to be someone she knew.
After all, only Cloud's party was staying at this inn.
She carefully made her way downstairs.
And was slightly surprised by the unexpected sight.
“Eri?”
It was Eri, who rarely left her room except for meals. Why was she crying at a time like this, and at a table on the first floor instead of in her room?
While Ophelia was wondering, Eri heard her voice and lifted her bowed head.
“Ophelia? What are you… Ah, right. I haven't cast the spell for you yet.”
Eri wiped her tears and snot with her sleeve.
After composing her messy face somewhat, she stood up and trudged toward the stairs.
“Let's go. I'll cast the spell for you.”
“Eri. Are you all right?”
“Yeah. I'm fine.”
Answering curtly, Eri entered Ophelia's room and used Soundproofing Magic.
Now, no sound made in this room would escape outside.
After casting the spell, she immediately left the room.
“Eri…!”
Ophelia stopped her.
“If something is troubling you, you can confide in me.”
Her voice was incredibly gentle.
At that, Eri slowly turned her head.
“I'm fine,” she answered, forcing a smile with her reddened eyes.
“…I see. Still, if you ever feel like talking, please come find me anytime.”
“Okay.”
Click.
Eri closed the door.
At the same moment, Ophelia's beautiful emerald eyes darkened.
“…If it had been the Hero and not me, Eri would have confided in him, wouldn't she.”
This wasn't an expression of disappointment. She was blaming herself for her own inadequacy, for failing to earn the other's trust.
Ophelia locked the door and took a disciplinary whip from her drawer.
She knelt and untied the laces of her nun's habit.
The habit, which had precariously covered her large chest, fell away, revealing white bare skin and her underwear.
She removed her underwear as well.
Kneeling with her large breasts and smooth back exposed, she raised the whip.
“O Holy, Holy, Noble One. O Almighty Being who has bestowed blessings and glory upon heaven and earth. Here is a lamb. A lamb fattened like a pig, steeped in desire.”
Ophelia swung the whip.
Crack!
The whip cut through the air and struck her back. The flesh where it hit swelled into a red welt.
“Here is a foolish lamb who threw herself into fleeting pleasure.”
Crack!
“Here is a foolish lamb who mistook a cesspool for a river and dove in.”
Crack!
“This foolish lamb dares to pray: do not forgive.”
Crack!
“I pray: do not pity.”
Crack!
“I pray: lead her into temptation. Test this foolish lamb, test her again and again, so that she does not defile His path. The brilliant and noble miracle.”
Crack!
“And lastly, I earnestly beseech thee, allow me to witness that radiant miracle, be it by His side or even from a great distance.”
Crack!
By the time she finished reciting the prayer, her back was a ruin of torn flesh and dripping blood.
The pain must have been immense, yet she didn't let out even a small whimper.
Instead, she began the prayer anew and continued to whip herself. The torn wounds gaped wider, and blood completely soaked her back. Despite the worsening wounds and pain, Ophelia did not stop.
A filthy body.
A disgusting body, steeped in desire.
With a body like this, she could not stand beside Him. She wouldn't even be permitted to be near Him.
Therefore, it must be purified.
Ophelia put more force into the hand swinging the whip.
CRACK!
An intense pain accompanied by the sound of something tearing.
Every time she felt it, a little more of the filth was stripped away from her lump of a body.
Only after purifying and purifying herself until she felt completely clean would she allow herself to sleep.
Only then could she face Him the next day.
Although, whenever she was near Him, whenever she witnessed His divinity, she would realize her body was still filthy and fall into despair… but that was fine.
Because what is dirty can be washed.
Wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash and wash.
If she kept washing like this, someday, she could become clean again.
So, for that someday, she had to diligently wipe away the filth.
Crack!
A new wound was added to her already scarred back.
As she recited the prayer, not a single glimmer of light remained in her eyes.