Chapter 105: Queen Maker (5)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 105: Queen Maker (5)
[Can you use your mouth next time, too?]
A single sentence from Cloud, overheard by chance.
Neria wasn't the sharpest, but she wasn't so dull as to miss its meaning.
The reason last night had been so quiet wasn't that the two of them hadn't progressed.
Oral sex.
The act of a woman pleasuring a man's genitals with her mouth.
That was why no sound had reached her room.
And she, ignorant of it all, had been smiling foolishly, filled with hope.
Neria didn't go down to the first floor.
Clutching her aching chest, she returned to her room and pulled the covers over her head. It was a cozy space, just big enough for her alone. For a moment, it felt as if it could sever her from cruel reality, bringing a brief sense of peace, but it was fleeting.
[Can you use your mouth next time, too?]
His voice replayed in her ears.
A scene began to form in her mind, unbidden.
A dark room.
A flickering candle illuminates the two of them.
Cloud is sitting on the edge of the bed, and before him, Katarina is on her knees.
[Schlick. Slurp. Mmm.]
Lewd sounds accompany the up-and-down motion of Katarina's head. Cloud gazes down at her, his eyes full of affection.
[Mmm... haah... Cloud, does it feel good...?]
[It feels amazing. Why does it feel so good? Katarina, is it because it's you?]
[Hee. Really? Then I'll make it feel even better.]
Katarina moves her head more fervently than before.
A scene she had never witnessed.
A scene she had never heard.
It was all too easy to imagine.
Her heart felt like it was being squeezed tight, about to burst.
She didn't want to imagine such things anymore.
She clutched at her hair, trying to erase the image, but it wouldn't disappear.
Instead, the fantasy intensified.
Katarina, making obscene noises as she licked Cloud's member, and Cloud, repeating that he loved her.
-Stop... please, stop...!
I don't want to see it.
I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to imagine it.
But the scene refused to fade.
Neria couldn't understand.
How could a scene she'd never seen feel so vivid in her mind?
[Suck it right, you fucking bitch!]
Suddenly, it wasn't Cloud's gentle voice she heard, but the harsh voice of a savage man.
Only then did she realize that the position of Cloud and Katarina in her fantasy felt strangely familiar.
At the same time, a sensation she never wanted to recall surfaced on her lips.
-Urk...!
An unbearable wave of nausea washed over her.
She leaned her head over the side of the bed and retched, bile spilling from her mouth.
-Gaaack...!
The more she heaved, the clearer the memory became.
The mocking voice.
The condescending eyes looking down on her.
The powerlessness that left her unable to resist.
The disgusting feeling on her lips.
All of it.
-Ugh... gack... khh...
Soon, not even bile would come up.
With nothing left to vomit, the retching that had tormented her finally stopped.
But just because the nausea ceased didn't mean she was at peace.
Self-loathing and guilt.
The twin blades of these emotions tore her heart to shreds.
Wiping her face, now a mess of tears and snot, she called out someone's name in anguish.
-Cloud...
The name of the man she loved.
She wanted to see him.
She wanted to look him in the face and apologize. She wanted to be forgiven, even if it meant getting on her knees and pressing her forehead to the floor.
And she could do all of that right now.
All she had to do was find him outside her room and act.
But she didn't.
If she ran out right now and begged for his forgiveness, how would he react?
He would probably be bewildered and ask her what was wrong.
When she explained, he would smile and tell her it was okay.
And then she, like an idiot, would believe him and giggle foolishly.
But it wasn't okay. It couldn't be.
A single sentence.
Just one sentence had made Neria vomit bile, tormented her with delusions, and reduced her to a sobbing mess. If she was in this much pain, how must he have felt?
How much pain must he have been in, having seen it with his own eyes?
-I'm sorry... I didn't know... I didn't know it would be this hard for you...
The day she had gone back to find Cloud.
He hadn't been angry with her, nor had he questioned her.
He had simply smiled, saying he was happy they were all back together.
So she thought it would be okay.
She believed that even if things were awkward at first, with time, they could go back to how they were.
Even when she overheard the conversation between Cloud and Mars, she believed it would just take a little longer.
She never realized how selfish that thought was.
-I'm sorry...
No matter how many times she muttered her apologies, they would never reach him.
They couldn't reach him.
Those words would only force him to relive that nightmare once more.
The weight of guilt hanging heavy on her heart was a burden she would have to carry for the rest of her life.
...In truth, if she really cared for him, the right thing to do was to leave his side.
Because every time he saw her, he would be in pain.
But Neria couldn't leave him.
To Neria, Cloud was her entire life.
He always had been, from the past until now.
If he wasn't by her side, she would fall apart.
She was terrified of that, and so she couldn't leave him.
A selfish, pathetic coward.
That's what she was.
"Are you both ready?"
Cloud's voice shattered her thoughts.
She was standing in the training grounds of the ruined royal palace.
Looking straight ahead, she saw a beautiful woman with long, vermilion hair that reminded her of the sunset.
Katarina.
Dressed in light attire, she held a long curved sword, her face tense.
What's so special about this woman?
What was so special that she became Cloud's lover?
If she had been in my place back then, would something have changed?
It was this curiosity that made her accept a duel with Katarina, a woman whose mere presence was an ordeal.
"I'm ready!"
"I'm fine, too."
With Katarina and Neria's consent, Cloud nodded.
"Begin."
As the duel started, Katarina took a large step forward. Pivoting on her front foot, she spun her body. With a light movement, like a butterfly spreading its wings, she closed in on Neria.
Neria stood still, waiting as the beautiful and ornate sword dance approached.
When she was within striking distance, Katarina lunged forward with a speed far greater than she had shown before.
A surprise horizontal slash.
-Clang!
Neria raised her shield and blocked it.
Even though her first attack was completely thwarted, Katarina didn't falter. She hadn't expected it to connect anyway. She spun her body to the right and swung her other curved sword.
-Clang!
This, too, was blocked by the shield.
Katarina leaped high diagonally and brought both swords down. Neria casually swatted them away with a swing of her shield. Neria had the upper hand in strength, so Katarina was pushed back, performing a somersault in the air before landing softly.
'Neria is stronger than me. I have to rely on speed and technique, not power.'
Katarina took a breath and ran toward Neria.
[Dance of the Wolf]
Like a wolf circling its prey, Katarina moved in a circle with Neria at its center.
She didn't put weight into her attacks. What she wanted was speed. She took one quick step after another. The sword dance of a skilled dancer descended upon Neria.
When a curved sword aimed for her legs, Neria lifted her leg to dodge. The moment her leg was up, another sword came for her head.
-Clang!
She blocked it with her shield.
Before the ringing of the shield faded, the sword that had aimed for her legs was now targeting the back of her head. Neria blocked that too, moving her sword behind her head.
Even though none of her attacks had landed, Katarina smiled.
One of Neria's feet was still off the ground.
That meant she would have to block the next attack, not dodge it.
Katarina leaped high into the air, turning her body horizontal. She then spun, rotating her two swords like a top.
Toward this spinning top of blades that could shred even a ferocious beast, Neria thrust out her shield.
-Screeeeeeeeech!!!
Sparks flew everywhere as the curved swords scraped against the shield as if trying to grind it down.
But despite the loud noise, Neria didn't budge an inch. After landing, Katarina had no choice but to retreat.
'Nothing's getting through?'
She wasn't even fazed.
Is the difference between us really this big?
Katarina bit her lip, feeling a sense of urgency.
'I have to create an opening, no matter how small.'
[Dance of the Bear]
A series of heavy blows, like the paws of a bear, rained down on Neria.
Blocking them with her shield, Neria thought, 'Is she toying with me?'
The [Dance of the Butterfly] with its swift footwork and the [Dance of the Wolf] which attacked from all directions.
Katarina's sword dance, with its added unpredictability, was indeed a remarkable skill.
But to Neria, who had defeated eight knights at once, it was unimpressive.
The [Dance of the Bear], which used heavy, consecutive strikes to break an opponent's stance, didn't feel particularly heavy to Neria, perhaps due to the level difference.
Even if their levels were the same, she probably wouldn't have found it threatening. The heavier the attacks, the less unpredictable and more simplistic they became. She could see the trajectory of the sword clearly.
'...This can't be all she has.'
She must be holding back since this was just a preliminary exchange.
Neria pushed Katarina back with her shield, giving her a moment to catch her breath.
She hoped that next time, she would come at her with everything she had.
"Hoo..."
Katarina caught her breath.
She charged at Neria again, and the ensuing attack was...
No different from before.
'...?'
What is she doing?
Why is she using the same attack?
You know it doesn't work.
If this is a joke, it's not funny. Fight properly.
Is it because I'm not attacking?
Do you still think this is just a warm-up?
Considering that a possibility, Neria decided to be a little more aggressive. She twisted her body to dodge a diagonal downward slash. Before Katarina could spin, she swung her shield at her abdomen.
"Ugh...!"
Struck in the stomach, Katarina let out a pained groan and stumbled backward.
'...Why couldn't she dodge that?'
That wasn't even a fast swing.
She had moved at a moderate pace, matching Katarina's level.
And she got hit by that and is staggering?
A chilling feeling crept over her.
Neria approached Katarina and swung her sword down diagonally. The moment Katarina crossed her two swords to block the attack, Neria kicked her in the stomach.
"Kuh...!"
Unlike the blow from the shield, the kick seemed more bearable. Katarina's body tensed for a moment before she moved again.
A flurry of ornate attacks came at her.
Dodging them, Neria...
"...What is this."
She muttered unconsciously.
She couldn't understand.
Why are you getting hit by simple attacks?
You have good skills, so why can't you use them properly?
You're the woman Cloud chose.
You're supposed to be special, unlike me.
Neria dropped her sword.
She threw a punch at Katarina, who was startled by the sight of her discarding her weapon.
Thwack.
Katarina's head snapped to the side.
That seemed to bring Katarina to her senses.
She realized that even without a sword, the gap between them hadn't closed.
The sword dance began anew.
A raging storm of blades.
Neria's eyes were cold as she watched it.
Blocking the storm with her shield, she closed the distance and slammed her fist into Katarina's side.
Ugh!
With Katarina's groan, the storm of blades vanished.
Neria frowned.
'But why are you so weak.'
Was it the pain from being hit?
Or was it because she had accepted the difference in their skills?
A venomous look appeared in Katarina's eyes. She tightened her grip on her curved swords.
A sword dance too dangerous to use in a spar. She had to use it now.
The air grew cold and still.
The murky aura of death that surrounded them pressed down on Neria's shoulders.
In this bleak space, the dancer danced.
[Dance of Death]
The swords, imbued with a deep curse, turned pitch black.
A cursed sword dance that prayed for the enemy's demise.
Death blossomed brilliantly as it rushed toward Neria.
Faced with the approaching flower of death, Neria did not flinch.
Following her sword, she now dropped her shield as well.
-Swoosh.
She twisted her head to dodge a thrust that cut through the air. A strike aimed at her shoulder was deflected using her arm guard.
She dodged what she could and deflected what was difficult to avoid.
After repeating this process, the dance of curses was over.
Did she not expect to be unable to even scratch my skin?
The dancer's face was colored with emptiness. Seeing this, Neria clenched her fist.
'This makes you no different from me.'
[If you don't obey me, I'll kill you and all your friends. That will break your pathetic Hero's spirit, won't it? And if he somehow overcomes it and finds new companions, I'll kill them again. I'll keep doing it until the Hero you love loses his mind.]
The threat she had received from Gis.
As if to prove it wasn't just an empty boast, she had woken up that morning to find a dagger stuck in the pillow beside her head.
Neria was weak and not special.
Comforting herself that there was no other way, she had submitted to Gis's threat and left a deep scar on Cloud.
That's why she had wondered.
Couldn't the woman chosen by the wounded Cloud have made a different choice in that situation? Couldn't she have created an outcome where Cloud wasn't hurt?
She wanted to confirm it.
Perhaps she wanted to accept it.
To think that he must have chosen her because she was such an amazing woman.
That the place by his side was never her destiny to begin with.
But it wasn't true.
This woman was not the special person she had imagined.
And slowly...
The emotion of anger began to bloom within Neria.
She swung her fist.
Thwack!
In the end, you're no different.
Thwack!
You were just lucky.
Thwack!
I was the one who was more desperate, so why, why you...?!
Thwack!
Neria didn't stop punching.
"Stop!"
Not until Cloud shouted.
At his voice, Neria froze in surprise, stopping her fist. She was horrified as she watched Katarina stagger and fall.
She had gone too far.
She had severely beaten Cloud's lover.
Her heart dropped.
Will he blame me for not holding back?
Will he come to hate me?
Will he not even let me stay by his side anymore?
While Neria trembled with anxiety, Cloud strode toward them.
Unable to bear the fear, she squeezed her eyes shut.
The words that came to her were unexpected.
"You've gotten much better than before, Neria. You must have worked hard."
Neria gasped.
Instead of criticism, she received praise.
It was true she had worked herself to death wanting to be acknowledged... but she never imagined she would receive it at a time like this.
Stunned, Neria was at a loss for words.
When she finally composed herself, lifted her bowed head, and opened her eyes...
"Are you okay? Nothing broken?"
Cloud wasn't looking at Neria.
"I think my ribs are broken. No, maybe shattered..."
"Let me see... They look fine."
"Those are my breasts!"
"There are ribs under your breasts, you know? Anyway, you seem fine, so stop being a baby and drink this."
"Sheesh... Would it kill you to show a little concern?"
He was pouring a potion on Katarina and talking with her.
"Gulp... Ugh... I always wonder, why do potions taste so bad? Can't they make them delicious?"
"There are tasty ones. They're just expensive. Anyway, here."
"Huh? What are you doing?"
"Can't you tell? Get on my back. You must be too beat up to walk."
"...I'm not that beat up."
Katarina mumbled with a blushing face but obediently let Cloud carry her on his back. After lifting her up, he turned his gaze back to Neria.
"We're going to stop by the church for a bit. Can you head back to the inn first?"
"The ch-church? Why the church?"
"She's probably just being dramatic, but you never know. Something might be wrong. Ophelia said she can't use Heal for a while for some reason, so we have to go to the church."
"If that's the case, I'll go with you..."
"It's fine. I'm already grateful you agreed to this difficult duel; I can't ask for more. Thanks for doing me this favor. I'll see you at the inn in a bit."
With that, Cloud turned his back and walked out of the training grounds.
Neria flinched, reaching out a hand before letting it fall. She stared blankly at the two figures walking away.
A memory from the past surfaced.
-Ugh...
-Does it hurt a lot? Just hang in there. We'll be at the village soon.
-Okay...
She had carried Cloud, who had sprained his ankle in the mountains, down on her back.
For some reason, that memory overlapped with the sight of the two of them now.
But it was different from back then.
The young Cloud had been the one being carried, but now, he was the one carrying someone else.
"So it wasn't because Katarina was special..."
Cloud was the one who had changed.
From someone who needed to be carried to someone who did the carrying.
"I see..."
Neria's voice was somber.
Normally, she should have been happy for her childhood friend's growth, but she couldn't be.
Because there was no place for her on his back.
And it seemed there never would be.
Neria barely stopped herself from collapsing and walked toward her dropped weapon and shield.
She couldn't afford to be weak.
If she was weak, she wouldn't be able to stay by his side.
As she crouched down to pick up her shield...
Drip- Drip-
Tears fell, soaking the dirt floor.
*
"Cloud."
"What?"
"Are you pretending not to know, or do you really not know?"
"Know what?"
"About Neria."
"What about Neria?"
"She likes you, you know."
"...You're very direct, aren't you? Don't people usually beat around the bush with things like that?"
"Shut up and just answer me. Did you know or not?"
"...If I had to say, I knew."
"I knew it. It's so obvious, it'd be weirder if you didn't know. So, was what you did back there your way of drawing a line?" Katarina said, her voice sounding somewhat pleased.
I gave a bitter smile and shook my head.
"The line was drawn from the very beginning."
Because the one Neria loves is Cloud.
Not me.