Chapter 408
Chapter 408
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Translator: Ace
Chapter: 408
Chapter Title: Final Decision (8)
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It was a gloomy day.
He rolled up his clothes and packed them, adding dried food and first-aid supplies just in case.
Grasping the fully packed military backpack with his right hand, it vanished into the Kubrick's slot.
Shirone, who had been holding Armang and examining its sheath, stored that in the Kubrick's second slot as well.
Loaded weight: 38.7 kilograms. It was an optimal pack, leaving some extra space.
“……”
Shirone scanned the room to see if he had missed anything, then checked the time.
Seeing it was close to midnight, he took out Maya's letter, which he had carefully placed in his desk drawer, and read it again.
Maya had started to like Shirone on the day of the Paranormal Research Society's presentation.
When Shirone stood before her at the senior class welcome party, it had felt like fate.
The reason she had asked who he wanted to kiss was half-joking, half-serious—the product of a wild fantasy that he might choose her.
Her feelings were etched across the four-page letter. It was a confession that focused on conveying her true heart rather than embellishing or dressing it up.
*If you accept my feelings, please come to the park at midnight in two days.*
*Even if you don't, I'll never resent or hate you.*
*This time, I hope you'll show me your true feelings. I love you.*
Shirone folded the letter along Maya's creases and put it in the envelope. Then, as if handling something precious, he tucked it carefully into his inner pocket and pressed it gently with his palm.
“Maya…”
Shirone left his dorm earlier than the appointed time. How could he make her wait, especially on a day like this?
He arrived at the park ten minutes early.
Beneath the only lit lamp post, he waited for Maya to appear.
*Dong. Dong. Dong.*
The bell tolling midnight rang out.
The dark clouds thickened, and a storm rolled in. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and then cold raindrops began to fall.
*Swoooosh!*
The downpour was a cacophony of percussion that overwhelmed his hearing.
Streams of water ran down from his soaked hair, and his clothes, saturated with water, grew heavier.
Shirone kept his eyes on the path where Maya would be coming from.
*Dong.*
The bell tolled one o'clock.
Still, Maya hadn't come.
He heard the sound of someone splashing through the water behind him.
Only when the rain stopped falling on his head did Shirone finally turn around.
Amy was standing there, holding an umbrella.
The two just stared into each other's eyes.
Amy wanted Shirone to speak first, but Shirone had nothing to say to her.
Amy's suppressed emotions finally burst forth.
Resentment, anger, bewilderment, betrayal, and perhaps a desperation that went beyond all of that.
Clenching her teeth, she spat out the words in a trembling voice.
“Why are you here?”
Shirone didn't answer.
“Tell me. Why are you here? Are you really going to… with Maya…”
“It has nothing to do with you.”
Amy's heart sank.
She had known Maya was going to confess.
She had agreed to it, confident that she had seen Shirone's feelings with her own eyes. She had regretted agreeing because she was anxious about Maya's courage.
Pacing her room anxiously, she eventually couldn't bear it any longer and ran to the park.
Shirone had been waiting for Maya. And now, he was staring at her with such cold eyes.
“No. It can't be.”
Amy's voice was on the verge of tears.
“Something's wrong, isn't it? You've been acting so strange lately. You're strange right now. Tell me! Tell me what's going on! If you don't, I won't see you anymore either.”
“Fine. I don't care.”
Amy couldn't believe it.
Why did he have to be so cold?
This wasn't the Shirone she knew. She was scared.
For the first time, she felt completely exposed in front of Shirone.
“Why? Why are you doing this? Why won't you say anything? Is it because I didn't do what Maya did? You idiot, I… I also… you…”
Shirone suddenly pulled Amy into an embrace. It was the only way to hide his own crumbling expression.
Hot tears mixed with the cold rain as they streamed down his cheeks.
“Amy, thank you for everything.”
Overcome with sorrow, Amy burst into tears.
She grabbed Shirone's collar and tried to push him away, but her hands just slipped.
“No. Don't hug me. Just tell me! Tell me why you're doing this! You bastard!”
She had no strength left in her hands.
Time was pushing her from behind, a cliff waiting before her. For the first time, she wished she could turn back time.
Shirone gave a sad smile and spoke his last words to her.
“Goodbye, Amy…”
*Thud.*
The umbrella fell from Amy's hand. The harsh sound of the rain rushed in, immense and overwhelming.
She remained motionless, her expression blank, even as Shirone pulled away and grew distant.
Her vision blurred as tears welled up.
“*Hk. Ugh.*”
The moment a choked sob broke from her throat, the sky seemed to cry for her with a loud *rumble*.
***
*Knock, knock! Knock, knock!*
Colly, the head teacher for the senior class, was awakened by a knocking at the door of his annex.
He hastily threw on a robe, rubbed his sleepy eyes, and opened the door to find Maya standing there, soaked to the bone.
“Maya? What is it at this hour?”
“Teacher…”
Unable to control her emotions, Maya threw herself into Colly's arms and burst into tears.
“*Waaaaah!*”
Colly was taken aback but assessed Maya's condition. The first thing to do, he decided, was to calm her shivering body.
Colly put logs in the fireplace and started a fire, then had Maya sit down and handed her a towel.
He made her some hot cocoa and placed it in front of her, but she just stared blankly at the flames in the fireplace.
*'So she went.'*
Colly sensed that today was the day Maya had told him about.
Though he didn't show it during the senior class schedule, she was a student he was very fond of, to the point that he had personally enrolled her in the magic academy and taught her.
*'Such a fragile child. Always considering others' feelings, but never her own.'*
Colly had first seen Maya during the opening act of an outdoor concert by the singer Canaria.
Commoners were given the chance to watch from outside the barricades, a method the nobles seemed to favor.
So the concert planner took it a step further, devising a strategy to have a commoner perform the opening act to highlight Canaria's excellence.
And so, a fourteen-year-old Maya was scouted for the role.
But the planner's scheme backfired spectacularly. The fourteen-year-old girl's folk song was so beautiful it gave one goosebumps.
The nobles were naturally displeased, and as soon as the song ended, they began to boo and jeer.
It was said that some nobles even summoned her tribe's chief, offering a large sum of money and demanding he bring Maya to their beds.
The chief fought back against the noble, was beaten half to death, and thrown out. That day, Maya gave up her dream of becoming a singer.
Colly encouraged Maya to walk the path of a mage.
Though gentle in nature, she clearly possessed an all-encompassing talent, and she succeeded in entering the Spirit Zone in just two years.
He didn't expect her to become a great mage.
If she could become a mage, raise her tribe up, and one day be able to sing the songs she truly wanted to sing, wouldn't that be enough?
“Did Shirone not show up?”
Maya's lips curled into a faint smile. It was the only happiness she could find in her pain.
“No. He came. Like a fool, even though I told him not to. He could have just cut ties with someone like me, but he came. For me. He waited for over an hour.”
Maya covered her face with her hands.
“That's why my heart hurts. Because I love that part of him so much. Because I want to be his woman.”
“You should have at least talked to him. It's possible he came because he really likes you, isn't it?”
Maya shook her head.
“I knew from the beginning. That I could never win his heart. I confessed even though I knew. Because I liked him so much, I couldn't bear not telling him. So I walked into hell, knowing full well what it was.”
Maya looked back at Colly, her expression terrified.
“But what do I do? It hurts so much. I feel like I'm going to die from the pain. Will I ever be able to forget Shirone? Can I go back to how I was before I met him and keep living?”
Colly shared his honest thoughts.
“Maya, you can't erase past memories. It's something you'll have to carry with you for the rest of your life.”
“I don't think I can. In this much pain… how…”
In the end, Maya broke down sobbing.
Colly went to her, pulled her into an embrace, and patted her back.
“There's no need to be afraid. The scar won't disappear, but as you live, you'll gain so many new scars that you won't even know which one was left by Shirone. And then, you'll be okay again. You just keep on living.”
Maya rubbed her face against Colly's chest.
“That's not living. Without any hope… how can I live?”
“Maya, we don't live because we have hope. We create hope in order to live. You may not be able to forget, but everything will be all right. You will be able to create another hope.”
“I don't want that. I want Shirone to come to me. I want Shirone to love me.”
A cut from a knife doesn't hurt at first. The real pain begins when you realize you've been cut.
Therefore, what Maya was feeling now wasn't pain, but fear. The fear of the pain that was to come.
*'Her heart is as gentle as she is fragile, so this will be harder for her. But Maya, an artist is someone who tells the story of humanity. You can never see people by looking down from a high place. So remember today's pain. Sing from the lowest of places. Then one day, everyone will come to soothe your scars.'*
Colly stroked Maya's back.
Her shoulders trembled pitifully, like a baby bird whose wings had been broken in a storm.
***
3 AM.
He had no intention of sleeping in the first place, so when Shirone returned to his dorm, he washed up and changed into fresh clothes.
He sat at his desk and blocked out his thoughts for a moment, but a sigh tinged with the remnants of tears escaped him nonetheless.
“Is everything settled now?”
He had left the Paranormal Research Society. Nade had been furious, but in the end, he had embraced him and told him to come back, no matter what he chose to do.
And today, he had said his farewells to Maya and Amy in his own way.
He wanted to sever all ties before going to heaven.
No, he had to.
If any lingering attachments remained here, he would hesitate at the crucial moment. He would hesitate when he absolutely had to die.
In a short time, Shirone had settled all the relationships he could.
But the faces of his precious people still surfaced in his mind.
Rian, Tess, and… his parents, who always wished only for their son's happiness.
He was glad he had told them he loved them before leaving home.
It was truly the best thing Shirone had ever done in his life.
He opened a drawer and took out a clean sheet of paper. The farewells he couldn't say in person could only be conveyed in writing now.
Shirone twirled the nib of his pen between his fingers, then finally wrote on the paper.
Last Will
“*Sob. Sob…*”
Tears of sorrow streamed down his face.
He wanted to graduate from the magic academy. He wanted to experience the world with his friends. He wanted to feel the flutter in his chest he'd felt when he held Amy's hand just one more time.
“Mom…”
To Shirone, his only parents were Vincent and Olina. That fact would never change.
He should have found out before deciding to go to heaven.
No, he should never have met Ikael in the first place.
But he had found out.
He hadn't let on to anyone, but she held the answer to a question he had carried in his heart his entire life.
*'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'*
Wiping his tears with his sleeve, Shirone began to write his will.
His gratitude for those who had helped him, the story of how happy he was to have received so much love, and his respect for his parents.
And so, everything he had held inside for nineteen years was being emptied out.