The Sexual Function Enhancement System
Just before Lee Yeonju came to see me, Windy had spoken first.
"Huh?"
Windy almost never started a conversation, so it startled me.
"What is it?"
"There's something like that?"
"Like what?"
"The what?"
"That's actually possible?"
It wasn't really worth being shocked over. A voice was ringing inside my head, but the balance in my bank account was the more astonishing thing, wasn't it?
Erection may be adjusted to optimal length and girth.
Delayed ejaculation, sperm blocking, and other selected functions may be activated whenever you wish.
"Whoa. That's insane."
I wanted to test it, but Yeonju would be here any minute, and I had no desire to be caught doing that by myself, so I held back.
The performance was perfect.
"This is nuts."
I'd hesitated for a second even then, about finishing inside her—but thanks to the system, I could stop worrying.
Seeing Yeonju asleep beside me, freshly washed, left me with a strange new feeling. Among streamers, she was the first woman I'd ever actually watched. I'd only ever thought it might be nice to meet her once, and here I was, not only meeting her but sharing a bed.
Who am I, to get any of this?
"Money really is the best."
Someone had said it. You can't solve everything in the world with money. But if you have it, most of the world gets easier—a hotel like this, a restaurant. Even landing a dinner date in the first place wouldn't have been possible without money, would it?
I slept deeply and woke to Seoul under a rising sun, the view thrown wide open. Only after I ordered a steaming pot of doenjang-jjigae, soybean-paste stew, for breakfast did it come back to me.
"Oh, right. Dessert."
I finally remembered ordering it after dinner. Ice cream, fruit, and champagne, I was pretty sure. I opened the door. It had melted.
"Sorry. I forgot about it and left it outside last night."
"Shall I clear it away?"
"Yes. I'll just keep the champagne. Thank you."
I woke Yeonju, still asleep.
"Mmm."
"Want to eat?"
"Mm. Yeah. Did you sleep well?"
She sat up with the blanket still hiding half her face, then looped her arms around my neck and pulled me in.
"Don't worry. I'm not the kind of woman who clings and nags you to date just because we slept together once."
At the whisper against my ear, I looked into her eyes.
"Wait. Did I just get used and dumped?"
"Pfft."
Something in my chest loosened. I'd been worrying what I would do if she asked to make it official.
We ate, watched another movie, and let the time slip by. As I was seeing her off, Yeonju asked a question.
"Didn't you say this place is twenty million won a night? If you stay for months, that's six hundred million a month?"
"Yeah, well. With tax, it'd be even more, wouldn't it?"
"Wow. For that kind of money, wouldn't it be better to just buy a place upstairs?"
"I've actually been thinking about it."
It was a supertall tower. Apartments occupied the middle and upper floors, where the hotel itself sat, and the very top as well—only ten floors, a private luxury residence with just two units on each. Money was effectively unlimited, so I wasn't sure it made any difference either way, but a few days ago the hotel manager had come by at exactly the right moment. A penthouse had just hit the market, and did I have any interest in buying? I'd told him we would go over the details later, and hearing Yeonju say it again brought the offer back.
"They're selling a penthouse. Want to live there?"
"This place is nice, but if you're staying long-term, wouldn't that be better? Just my personal opinion, of course. Hehe. I signed for my own place recently, and having a home is honestly so good. You can decorate however you want."
They had said I could redo the interior however I liked anyway. I would just have to put it back when I left. Still, that wasn't quite the same as bringing in the furniture I wanted and arranging everything my way. There was a steadiness that came with it being your own house.
"Hmm. I'll have to think about it."
Honestly, I didn't know yet. The game had started, and I was lying in the capsule nearly all day, so a hotel suite, a penthouse, and a studio all felt like the same thing.
We hung around a while longer, went out for lunch, and parted ways. I came home and lay down in the capsule.
"Ugh. That was a good rest."
Time to log back in.
The viewers were in an uproar. The moment I turned the stream on, it blew past eight thousand.
"Why did the viewer count jump like this?"
You're the talk of the community right now.
Hurry up and pull the three-star option.
I set an alert. I need to see if you actually go for five SS.
Thanks for the vicarious thrill.
The other streamers had been right: spending money really did bring the viewers in. I'd seen plenty of it on the community boards, too. I scratched my head.
"I was just busy messing around, so I'm late."
A pure so what of a line.
Hopeless.
Back in my day...
Amid those boomer chats, sharper callouts cut through.
Why did Yeonju start her stream late too?
She left early yesterday.
Did the two of you meet?
What did you do?
There was nothing sharp about it. Yeonju and I had been on a dinner date not long ago, the mood had been good, and on stream we'd already stepped over the line a little here and there. Thinking of yesterday, I decided to provoke them.
"Yeonju and I had lunch."
Gasp.
Whoa.
NO!!!!!
I let out a short laugh and changed the subject at once.
"Today I'll pull a three-star special option, then head out to hunt."
Barely thirty minutes of viewers, and the count was already past twenty thousand. The handful of messages from Yeonju's fans were buried in seconds.
Whoa. A hundred thousand won.
So the character reroll has started?
How much is he going to spend?
A three-star reset cost a hundred thousand won. Watching a hundred thousand vanish with every click, the viewers trembled in horror.
Scary. So scary.
What kind of person even pulls a four-star SS?
There probably isn't a four-star SS.
At four-star SS odds, you could've pulled a five-star instead.
And so the tedious fight began all over again.
"Oh!"
Whoa.
Special option.
I must have spent somewhere around four hundred million won. For the first time, a single special option appeared. And it was incredible.
"Wow. Looks good."
Holy shit, lol.
Looks good? Unbelievable.
That is a historically broken, bullshit-tier option.
Keep it. Go.
No. SS. Go.
Mages will tell you mana is a damage-increase option too, and of course it is. Casting time matters, but just as often you simply can't cast because you're out of mana—one or the other. A mage putting out sustained, heavy damage either stacks mana-related options or hunts while chugging mana potions without end. And mana potions are stupidly expensive. This was a unique option that solved the entire mana problem in a single stroke.
"Looks pretty good, huh."
To me, it was a little disappointing.
"How good would SS-grade be?"
Whoa.
Stop.
You seriously have no idea how much you're going to spend.
"I mean, I've only spent four hundred million."
It wasn't a line for the stream. I genuinely didn't like it. I'd already pulled SS-grade, the absolute best options, on the first and second stars—and now I was going to slap something a little lacking onto the third? I couldn't keep my promise to Windy.
"If it doesn't meet all three—special option, SS, and a conditional option—I'm not using it."
This guy is insane.
For real. He's the genuine article.
Whoa.
The definition of a real man, lol.
The viewers went wild at the reckless ambition. Right. The money was overflowing, so the build had to go past anything I could imagine. I spun without hesitation.
Heh.
Give it to me, please. I'm begging.
Even the crying was fuel.
"Yawn."
The Starter Plaza. I lay among the crowds of users beside Seoul Station and watched the unique options spin, and one by one people began gathering around me. They were all watching the stream, by the look of it.
"You got this!"
"We're rooting for you!"
"If you need anything, just say the word!"
"I bought this hamburger. Could you eat it on stream?"
"Oh!"
Someone had brought a whole burger combo, and I took it gratefully. In virtual reality, you can eat. You can't replenish calories the way real food does, but texture and fullness are fully implemented.
"Mm. It's good."
A mukbang streamer with thirty thousand viewers. Insane.
Unreal.
But why the Krusty Krab? Eat something expensive.
"This is better than the hotel burger?"
Hotel. Whoa.
Born rich, obviously.
You go all the way to a hotel just to eat a hamburger?
I talked with them while I ate.
"No. I'm homeless, so I'm in a long-term stay at a hotel."
Gasp.
Whoa.
A flood of comments tried to guess where. Most of them named the hotel I was actually staying in. With so many people convinced it was the best and most expensive in the city, that was the natural result. I neither confirmed it nor denied it.
The streams I'd watched, brief as they were, all came down to this: getting the viewers to keep starting conversations, without end.
I spun the third star all day, and nothing worth keeping appeared. It was past three in the morning. I'd started the broadcast late to begin with, and aside from that S-grade special option earlier, there wasn't even a shadow of an SS.
"Whew. I'll stop here for today."
1.1 billion won.
Whoa. He really burned 1.1 billion in a single day?
Do this for ten days and that's 11 billion?
He'll quit streaming before then.
(Siwoo's true feelings) Please, just give me that S-grade special option again. I'll spend it all on my knees.
I left the chattering viewers behind and shut the stream off.
"Ha. I finally get why people play games."
Before Haven Online, the days had been long. I would wake up, work out, eat, and burn the whole day deciding which drama, movie, or anime to watch. Once Haven started, the days were far too short.
"This is nice."
Honestly, I can hardly remember the grief anymore.
I collapsed into bed and slept as if I'd blacked out.