Chapter 6
Chapter 6
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 6
Chapter Title: I Hate Attention (2)
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Scorn, persecution, and hatred.
Since childhood, I'd been subjected to that sticky, baseless emotion for no reason at all, so my emotional state was far from normal. Outwardly smiling, inwardly not. I'd lived my life immersed in that kind of duplicity and pretense.
It was just a marriage arranged to produce a child with strong abilities, but my treatment as the child born from it couldn't exactly be called good. Regardless of how the parents felt, society and the media tore down even the child, claiming the very way I was born was wrong. And in my family, they cursed not my father, but my mother.
Even after we couldn't bear the abuse and moved out to live alone together, my mother was always suffering. Before the marriage, she'd been an ordinary person, not a hero. The sudden flood of attention was more than enough to torment one person.
The first emotion that followed was confusion. Why did my mom and I have to be the ones insulted? If being born was a sin, then maybe it would be better if I-
"...No."
...But I couldn't do that. If I disappeared too, my mom would truly be left all alone. That's how I learned endurance as a child.
I endured, and endured again. Hating my own abilities while nurturing them all the same.
That hatred was directed at my father. I loathed him for fathering a child and never once coming to see us.
I hated him for having the power to control the society that insulted us to some degree, yet choosing not to.
Even enrolling in the academy was part of that hatred. If the child he ignored became a proud hero and surpassed him, I wondered what expression he'd make.
Of course, I'd end up meeting his other children there too. Surpassing them was one of my smaller goals.
And so, I began preparing for enrollment.
"...Haa."
But as I stood in front of the school gates, I started to wonder if this was really right. The academy, established to create heroes.
A place that trained heroes who helped others, sacrificed themselves for the citizens, and eradicated villains who disrupted society—
Was it okay for me to enroll just for my own purposes?
It felt like the last remnants of my conscience were pricking at me. I should have thought of this sooner, but self-reproach wouldn't change anything now.
The enrollment process was already complete, and all that was left was to spend three years living at the academy.
Thinking that I was only now starting something like revenge against my father—a dream I'd harbored since childhood—made my chest feel tight.
"How did it come to this..."
The faces of the people passing by me all brimmed with happiness.
Kids chattering about how they'd become great heroes, or vowing to become the top hero of all.
Compared to that, wasn't my purpose just too dirty?
Maybe there were other ways. Maybe there were more honorable paths that didn't involve using an institution like this.
The reason I hadn't gone to confront my father directly after I was born—wasn't it out of fear of what he might say?
My head started throbbing. It was probably because I was having these pointless, strange thoughts. Even if I hadn't before, entertaining them now wouldn't help my plans at all.
I shook them off and lifted my head, only to lock eyes with a gaze.
Platinum blonde hair, reflecting the sunlight from one side, swayed in the breeze. It almost resembled the cherry blossom petals drifting in the wind right now.
It was just a moment, but the woman whose eyes met mine... was beautiful. As if someone had defined the perfect human form and sculpted her to match.
That brief eye contact felt like an eternity. I stared at her in a daze. Even if it was an illusion, I wanted to remember that sight forever.
How long did I gaze like that? She glanced at my hair, her expression twisting slightly before she started backing away.
Was there something on my hair? No, what was the problem? I'd never thought there was anything wrong with my looks. If anything, I was on the handsome side.
"Hey...!"
I opened my mouth to call out and stop her, but she was already gone, leaving me with a hollow feeling as my shoulders slumped. That's when I noticed something on the ground.
A small plastic case—no, maybe it was called a smart box? What era was that from? I remembered those being discontinued about five years ago.
But that wasn't the point. It had fallen where that woman from earlier had been standing.
Before I knew it, I was picking it up.
...I should return it to her, right?
I figured she was at the entrance ceremony, but even after searching for a while, I couldn't spot her. Maybe she was a delinquent after all.
I could return it later after the ceremony ended, but... for some reason, I wanted to give it back right now.
It felt like an impulse that if I didn't do it now, I never would. I couldn't hold back. Why was I getting so urgent?
I'd always thought of myself as pretty calm, but apparently not entirely.
I left the auditorium and wandered around for a bit when I quickly spotted her. Her back, as she walked alone down a path where cherry blossoms swirled in the air.
For a moment, it felt like my breath stopped. She blended so naturally with the background, like a single painted scene.
How could someone be that pretty... No, this wasn't the time for those thoughts.
Worried she might vanish like before, I called out to her carefully.
"Um?"
No—that came out all wrong. I could have said it better. Regretting that, I watched quietly to see if she'd react to my voice.
...She turned around.
I clenched my fist tightly. It was surprising enough that she reacted at all. Why was I getting so excited? But that question melted away like snow the moment our eyes met again.
"Ah, d-didn't we see each other earlier?"
Ah—damn it. Why was I stuttering like an idiot? I'd never once stumbled over my words, not even when talking to girls before, or even to heroes or villains.
I had to say something, but my mind went completely blank. What should I say next? How do I keep the conversation going?
Faced with this utterly unfamiliar experience, I just stood there staring at her blankly.
"......"
For some reason, her face as she looked at me held dissatisfaction. Had I interrupted her alone time?
My head was spinning. I had no idea how to respond in a situation like this. Normally, I'd have spoken casually, but for some reason, I couldn't loosen up.
So I just smiled. It was the only trick I had. I'd never gotten a bad reaction from smiling before.
But even so, her expression remained stiff. Not friendly, but not hostile either—just ambiguous.
I was dying to know what she was thinking as she looked at me. For a split second, I even felt like asking outright.
"Ah... You were staring at me so intently earlier, so I thought you had something to say and followed you. But aren't you going to the entrance ceremony?"
"...I wasn't staring."
Her soft voice brushed against my ear, making my body tremble involuntarily. It was a bit sharp, but she didn't seem unwilling to talk, so I let out a quiet sigh of relief inside.
Still, denying she was staring— she was sensitive to gazes usually, but hadn't our eyes definitely met? Why was she hiding it? The more we talked, the bigger my questions grew.
...It felt like she was deliberately avoiding me.
But why?
I didn't even know this woman's name. She was a complete stranger I'd just seen upon entering the academy—there was no reason for her to avoid me...
Even after I handed over the smart box, she only gave a slight thanks, her attitude of keeping her distance unchanged.
"Thanks for picking it up."
Had I done something rude by staring earlier? Or was it because I'd babbled incoherently? No matter how I thought about it, I couldn't figure it out.
...In this situation where I should at least be glad we'd spoken, I let out a hollow laugh.