Mental Management (2)
I was savoring the afterglow of climax with Canisia still gathered in my arms when I eased her onto her stomach again and drew myself out of her.
Schluck—!
"Hah...!"
My cock carved a path through her oversensitive walls on the way out, and Canisia shuddered hard. A slow trickle of the semen I'd left inside her spilled free and drifted across the surface of the lake.
"Canisia."
"Alan..."
She rose and pulled me into her arms. The breasts still stamped with my handprints crushed against my chest, and that exquisite softness was a pleasure all its own.
"I love you, Canisia."
"Mm... I love you too, Alan."
We kissed, confirming her love one last time.
Just as I'd expected, the reward was sweet.
Alright. Time to go see my adorable fairies.
Canisia, then Aquaril, then Oralisa. Three beautiful women, one after another. Today was a day my cock was going to thoroughly enjoy itself.
"Aquaril. Oralisa."
Back at base camp with Canisia, I went straight to my beloved fairies.
"You've returned, Master?"
"Master... you're not hurt, right? You're okay, right?"
Aquaril and Oralisa had been waiting, fully prepared — and just like when I'd gone after Canisia, they looked miserable. Depressed, almost. Aquaril watched me with a conflicted expression while Oralisa threw herself into my arms, tears already welling in her eyes.
Seeing the two of them suffer like this felt like something was tearing open in my chest.
Yeah... I did put them through something they never should have had to see.
Even if I could come back, there was no torture more horrific for a fairy than watching their Master die right in front of them. Aquaril had already seen me die more than once, and she still struggled with it, still sank into that same depression. If even Aquaril was like that, how much worse must it be for Oralisa, with her childlike nature?
"Yeah. I'm fine. So don't look so sad. I'm okay, I promise."
I soothed Oralisa, patting that perfectly round ass of hers. The funny thing was, even as my heart ached, the feel of her ass made my other self stretch and wake right up. A man's lower half really does operate independently of his emotions. In a way, you could call it honest.
"Come here."
I took Oralisa into the tent, sat her down beside Aquaril while she was still wiping her tears, and spoke.
"First... I'm really sorry. I showed you something I never should have. It was hard, wasn't it?"
"It wasn— no."
Aquaril started to shake her head, then stopped. And then she laid her feelings bare.
"When Master collapsed, bleeding... it felt as though every drop of blood in my body was draining out of me. As though the sky were collapsing and the earth were splitting apart. My heart hurt so badly I wanted to tear it out of my chest. It was so, so painful. So hard."
Her confession was so raw it startled me. At the same time the guilt swelled — how much must she have suffered to say all of that?
"I... I was so scared too."
Once Aquaril fell silent after baring her heart, Oralisa picked up the thread. She was still trembling like a frightened hamster, the image of me falling to Osam's blade apparently still vivid in her mind.
"I was scared Master would never get up again. That I'd be separated from Master forever... Nngh, nngh, hic... I was so scared..."
And just like that, Oralisa was crying again.
Should I just seal the Molt skill?
Seeing my fairies suffer like this hurt so much I actually considered never using Molt again.
...No. I can't do that.
I dismissed the thought almost immediately. I planned to raise my stats a bit more and then promote to 5-star. The other party members were close enough that a little more leveling would get them there as well. The problem was that Medium Growth Stones — the ones our party needed — were getting harder to obtain by the day.
Medium Growth Stones had a lower drop rate than Lower ones to begin with. And once we hit 5-star, we'd need Upper Growth Stones to keep raising stats, and those drop rates would be even worse. On top of that, Montblanc had started withholding Growth Stones, as if trying to throttle how fast I was getting stronger. Even when he did hand them over, it was fewer than ten. His excuse was that there were too many Masters and fairies who needed them. And if I tried to buy Medium Growth Stones on the open market, the supply was already scarce — and what little existed was firmly in Montblanc's grip.
I need to start acquiring new fairies soon, too.
Whether I stole someone else's fairy or spent 3,300 gems to summon one of my own, I needed to expand the party's fighting strength. The five of us weren't going to make it to the end. No matter how strong we became, our enemies would be strong too — and there would be far more of them. We'd need at least twenty people, myself included, before we could actually accomplish anything. Growing all of them would require a truly staggering amount of Growth Stones.
And the thing that could make up for that shortfall was Molt. Every time I used Molt to raise my own stats, that many more Growth Stones could go to the rest of the party. So as sorry as I was to Aquaril and Oralisa, I had to keep using Molt, one way or another. Even if it tore their hearts into a thousand pieces.
"...Let me say it again first. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Aquaril. I'm sorry, Oralisa."
"Master..."
Aquaril still wore that conflicted look. Oralisa sniffled. Looking at the two of them, I went on.
"And I'm going to keep putting you through this."
"...What?"
"...Master?"
"I'm truly sorry, but when I die and come back stronger, my stats go up. I get stronger every time I resurrect. I can't give that up."
My fairies stared at me, stunned. Guilt made it hard to meet their eyes. But I couldn't look away. This was my resolve. Just as I hadn't dodged even knowing Osam's decapitating blade would deal me a fatal wound, I couldn't dodge this either.
But why was it that having my fairies look at me with wounded eyes was harder to endure than staring death in the face?
"I have to get stronger. Much stronger than I am now, and much faster."
"Master. If you need to raise your stats, you can use Growth Stones. I will give you my share. So please... can you not use such a dangerous method?"
"Y-yeah! Master! Oralisa will give you her Growth Stones too! So don't die. Please...?"
Aquaril and Oralisa pleaded with me. Their concern was touching, but I couldn't grant that request. I shook my head.
"I can't. Because you two need to get stronger too."
"...Master."
"Hic... Then Master's going to die again? I don't, I don't want that! I don't want to watch Master die!"
"In the not-too-distant future, a great war is going to break out."
"What are you talking about, Master? I'm not scared of some war! Watching you die is way scarier! Hic, waaaaah~!"
Aquaril's face went rigid. Oralisa burst into tears outright. I kept looking them straight in the eye, determined to show them my will.
"The truth is..."
And I told my fairies the same thing I'd told Canisia. That I was a regressor. That a great war was coming. That twelve powerful monsters would appear in the world.
The longer I spoke, the graver their expressions became. Even Oralisa stopped crying and focused on my words.
"...That's why I have to get stronger. To protect you."
"You saw it yourselves. Even if I die, I can come back. But you? If you die, that's it. And you already know this — you didn't become my fairies through the normal process. I can't be certain I'd be able to summon you again if you died."
"I'd rather die myself than watch you die. It would hurt less. It would be easier. If dying is what it takes to protect you, I'll do it ten times. A hundred times."
"So I need you to endure it. Even if you have to watch me die, don't let it break you. That's what you can do for me."
That was everything I had to say. What remained was their choice. And though it was cowardly of me, I already knew what Aquaril and Oralisa would decide. They were fairies. They couldn't refuse their Master's command.
"...Master. May we... may we talk between ourselves for a moment?"
"...Alright. I'll be right outside. Call me when you're done."
I nodded at Aquaril, who had barely managed to get the words out, and stood. I stepped out of the tent and closed the flap.
Definitely worth the money.
Even though the two of them were talking inside, I couldn't hear a thing once the flap was shut. The tent we used had a soundproofing enchantment that kept anything inside from leaking out. There were plenty of cheaper ordinary tents, but I'd bought the expensive one for the obvious reason — so we could have sex in there without anyone hearing. It'd be embarrassing if the sounds of sex carried outside, wouldn't it? And I wanted my women's moans all to myself.
It's chilly.
Crack-pop—!
Feeling the cold night air, I sat down in front of the campfire, sparks leaping from the flames.
Once Alan left, only Aquaril and Oralisa remained in the tent.
Fairies kicking their Master out so they could talk. It was unthinkable. But after hearing something so grave, and after seeing their Master's unshakable will to keep dying in order to grow stronger, the unthinkable had happened.
"Aqua-chan... so we have to keep watching Master... hic, watching Master die?"
"...You already know the answer, Oralisa."
"...Hic!"
"Master will never bend. No matter how we beg, he will keep using that power."
"Hic, I don't, I don't want that! Waaaaaah~!"
Even after all the tears she'd already shed, Oralisa apparently still had more left in her, because she burst out crying again. Looking at the weeping Oralisa, Aquaril spoke with resolve written across her face.
"Then let's get stronger, Oralisa."
"Waaah... huh? What?"
"You heard him, didn't you? Why Master intends to keep using a power that defies death."
"Th-that's..."
She fidgeted, tears still clinging to her lashes, as if she couldn't quite remember.
"Master uses that power to protect us. Because he cannot bear to watch us die. Then the answer is simple. You and I simply need to become strong enough to protect Master from any enemy. Then he will have no need to use that power — no need to die."
"...Ah! That's it! Aqua-chan, you're a genius?!"
Oralisa's face lit up and she clapped her hands, thoroughly proud of Aquaril for thinking of something she never could have.
"Yeah! I wanna get stronger! It's not Master who protects his fairy! The fairy protects her Master! So I'm gonna get strong! Strong enough that nobody can ever hurt Master!"
"Yes. Let us grow stronger, Oralisa. We will protect Master with our own hands. With our own strength."
Fulfill your duty.
Protecting one's Master — that was a fairy's purpose.
Aquaril and Oralisa resolved to become strong.