Club Enrollment (4): The Knight's Answer

Joining a club? Four. Seriously, what kind of bizarre stunt is this? She just shows up out of the blue, demanding to join, and then drives a wedge into the conversation like that? And the fact that it’s Isabella saying it makes me even more uneasy.

Of the four main protagonists, Isabella is the most difficult to deal with. Iris is just a kind-hearted capybara. Angelica is a golden retriever who loves sparring—as long as I ignore the fact that she’s physically hurting, she’s fine. And since Dolnesia and I are both from the House of Logres, I wouldn’t have to worry about a knife in my back unless I started the drama myself. But Isabella, standing right in front of me, is different. Out of all those romance fantasy tropes, she’s the one cast as the Villainess.

In the game, Isabella was ruthlessly calculating. The moment she deemed something unnecessary, she discarded it without hesitation. Most of the choices given to the player controlling her were exactly like that. Of course, it wasn’t because she was born evil; it was more that she had been poisoned and turned bitter. Even so, it’s a fact that she reigns supreme in high society—a place where everyone is deceiving everyone else, and petty power struggles and gaslighting are the norm.

Even if she did commit the blunder of being blinded by the Second Prince in her past life, falling for his act, getting poisoned, and even slapping him in the face, she and I are polar opposites. I’m just trying to live my life mindlessly, playing the fool for the sake of Knightly Honor.

"I'm joking."

Isabella said that and finally let go of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my chin.

Even checking with my Insight Eye, it only says she’s amused. It doesn’t tell me why. It was the same with Dante; the Insight Eye doesn’t show everything.

"Were you hoping for something else?"

"As if."

"You could be happy about it. It’s true that I’m joining this club because of you. I have a debt to pay."

A debt? Don’t tell me she means that time I blocked that slap...? That’s weird. Didn’t we settle that with a simple thank you?

"Didn't we call it even with that thank you?"

"I don't know what you saw that made you think that, but I’m not a person without a conscience who would settle for just that."

Isabella crossed her arms, sighed at my words, and continued.

Hmm. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Honestly, that feels a bit excessive. If Isabella joins the club, the maintenance conditions are definitely met. The problem is that three of the main protagonists are now gathered in one club. Three people who are always at the center of every incident. Thinking about the train incident, isn't this just asking for disaster? Plus, the Ancient Literature Club didn't exist in the game, so I can't predict what kind of events will trigger. If it turns out like this, what was the point of avoiding Iris? My plan was to avoid the club Iris would join, so she wouldn't follow the male leads and hinder their growth...

I thought Isabella, at least, would go to a different club. Now, I can’t just kick her out. I feel bad for the senior behind me, who’s looking at us with such sparkling eyes. As I let out a deep sigh, stuck between a rock and a hard place—

Suddenly, a notification window was shoved in front of my eyes. My face twisted involuntarily. These crazy bastards, acting up again. How am I supposed to perform a Knightly Act here? What, am I supposed to challenge someone to a duel? I don't get it. Is there even a point to perform chivalry here? At this point, it feels like they’re just messing with me on purpose... Do they want me to just accept her joining?

My head hurts.

"Ian."

Isabella watched me for a moment, then gave a small smile and continued.

"What is it?"

"I said I was joking, but it is a fact that I am interested in you."

I see. A sudden confession, then.

"You're quite bold."

"Are you not surprised?"

"As I said before, that’s narcissism."

"Right, of course..."

She crossed her arms and continued.

"This is just me talking to myself. You don't have to answer. It’s just a passing thought."

Then, she suddenly set the mood. Her red eyes stared into mine. Angelica, Dolnesia, and Eileen watched her. Perhaps this was the real reason she came to this club. What on earth does she want to say?

"You told Kyle that. To do his best in the position he stands in. That even if he thinks it's meaningless, as long as there is someone left to carry on, the meaning remains."

Was it because the name 'Kyle' came out of her mouth? Eileen’s expression twitched.

"I did say that."

"I know a woman."

She continued with a bitter smile.

"She loved him. Even knowing that his smile would never be directed at her, even knowing it could never be hers, she did her best."

"........."

"And when the second choice was given, she chose to cut the leash and gave up on his love."

Her hands, crossed over her chest, tightened, and her school uniform began to wrinkle.

"But if the one she wanted to give her love to was a lie... if the love she gave was nothing but a meaningless delusion..."

She bit her lip slightly and stared at me. She said she didn't need an answer, but Isabella was craving one.

"If, after deciding to do my best this time, I’m not even allowed to start from the starting line..."

Desperately, as if screaming.

"Then, what should I do?"

I had never thought about something like this. I just thought that if Kyle recovered quickly, the future story would be easier. Because in the game, there was no problem even if I did that. And I thought the problem between her and Kyle was something time would solve, but it seems that wasn't the case.

Though she masked it as someone else's story, the 'her' Isabella spoke of was herself. Like a clown, even knowing his love wouldn't come to her, she loved the Second Prince. She saw nothing else and only looked at him. But the Second Prince didn't look at her, and due to his foolishness and someone's conspiracy, she was poisoned and regressed. And taking revenge on that Second Prince is the main story of Isabella's route.

As the story progresses, she learns his true intentions, and when she knows everything, she chooses between forgiving him or ending the revenge with 'I have to do what I have to do.' Why didn't I think of this? The reason why the main male lead of Isabella's official story is Kyle, but unlike other male leads, they can only be together in the latter half of the story. It must have been because they needed time. They had to build up the story, showing the side of the Second Prince that wasn't seen, so that Isabella could be given the choice of forgiveness.

But because of me, Isabella found out the Second Prince's true intentions before the revenge even started. She vowed to take revenge after regressing, but the Second Prince, who she thought was a good-for-nothing, was actually acting. With just that one act, not even his true feelings, her first life ended with poison, and in her second life, the good-for-nothing Second Prince disappeared.

"He never loved a woman. He was the same whether he wore a mask or took it off. Even if she takes revenge on him after he takes off that mask, it wouldn't be the revenge she wanted. Because he would surely accept it with a fake smile."

The time to think about forgiveness and the vow to take revenge both became bubbles, and the woman who loved that good-for-nothing and the woman who hated that good-for-nothing both became a vain delusion. Because the good-for-nothing didn't exist in this world to begin with. It was just a mask worn by someone to act. But what happens to the woman who loved that mask, died because of that mask, and tried to take revenge?

"Ian. I did my best. And after being betrayed by my dream, I tried to do my best in the next choice. But if that dream, that 'best', was all an illusion, and I'm not even given the chance to dream the next dream..."

Cowering. The confident Isabella was gone.

"Is there really any meaning?"

There was only a child craving an answer. It's hard. It's so hard. I didn't think deeply when it was Kyle. But I can't do that here.

***

Even knowing his smile wouldn't come to me, I loved him. And when I was given poison instead of that smile, I hated him. That's why I broke off the engagement. I started to take revenge to get back double the love I had given him. But 'I'm sorry.' Why is he apologizing? He doesn't yell or sneer at me like he did when he was a good-for-nothing. He accepted the apology as if it were natural, and accepted the annulment as if it were natural.

Everything until now was a mask. If it was just an illusion that would burst like a bubble, then what am I? What becomes of me, who loved that mask? What becomes of me, who died because of that mask? What becomes of me, wandering without a chance or reason for revenge?

If you do your best, as long as there is someone to carry on, meaning will remain? I just did my best to love, but instead of leaving anything, I just faded away with poison. I tried to do my best this time, but even that chance was taken away. The pain of the poison is still deeply embedded in my chest. I still hate him. The guy I truly hated was a lie. The guy I truly loved was a mask. Then what becomes of me, who loved him, hated him, died because of him, and stood up again to take revenge?

Now, I'm scared to find a path, scared to walk. Afraid that this path, too, will be a vain pilgrimage.

That's why I became interested in him. Unlike me, who just did my best without knowing it would become a bubble. A person who did his best even knowing it could become a bubble. A knight who ran toward a delusion for the sake of others.

If he also knew his path would become a bubble. And when he realized that the destination he reached in another choice was also a bubble. What choice would you make?

Like when you took off that damn Second Prince's mask, can you save me, too?

"Isabella."

"It was just... talking to myself."

"I am scared, too."

What?

"I am scared that the wrong answer I chose will just vanish into bubbles, vainly."

What he said was very different from what I expected.

"There is a person. A person who had to watch with their own eyes as everything turned into vain bubbles when they reached their dream, even after throwing everything away. That is why I, too, have no confidence in this path."

Unlike my story, Ian was truly talking about someone else. Who is it, the person he is talking about? Who is it that Ian knows?

"But. I do not regret it."

Ian looked at his fist once, then looked into my eyes and continued.

"Isabella, you did your best."

I did my best, and it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠left no meaning. I tried to do my best with a second choice, but the destination disappeared. But you.

"The answer you chose was just a wrong answer."

Are you trying to tell me there's meaning in that?

"A wrong answer?"

A hollow laugh came out. Then that means my life is full of wrong answers. Not the right answer, but wrong answers. Then how is that different from a bubble that will vanish in vain?

Ah, I see. Are you driving a wedge into me like that?

"The Knightly Honor I hold might also be a wrong answer. The recklessness I showed when saving you could also be seen as a wrong answer. There must have been a way to handle it nicely without having to challenge a duel."

My eyes widened. To him, performing Knightly Honor should be the best path from his perspective. He was convinced that it would naturally be full of wrong answers.

"But having no answer and having a wrong answer are different. Wrong answers remain. Like bricks forming a tower."

Wrong answers remain? ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I've never thought of it that way.

"Humans are creatures that always choose wrong answers. Because later, we realize there was a better way than the one we chose at that time. That is how we build a tower of wrong answers. To reach, even a little, the unreachable answer."

Then, because my best wasn't 'no answer' but a 'wrong answer'. Because whatever path we choose, what we decide is a wrong answer. But, because we can get closer to the answer even if it isn't the answer, are you trying to say that meaning remains?

"My tower was Knightly Honor. So that person, too, must have a tower they can build."

So, whatever path I choose, I just have to build it... But.

"I'm scared."

For the first time. I show my weak side to someone. I know what you want to say. But I'm scared. Like he said, even knowing it's a wrong answer, even knowing I can correct what's wrong, I'm scared I'll drink poison again. I'm scared my life will be denied. I'm scared I'll find out my destination never existed in the first place. The poison was so painful. It hurt like it was tearing me apart. I'm scared.

I'm scared to find a path, so what should I do?

Ian, watching me like that.

"Then, do not rush."

"Do not rush?"

"Yes."

He nodded and continued.

"To reach a better ending, let's look for it slowly in this club."

And then.

"We will help you. So that woman can find the right path."

With that, he held out his hand.

I see. I thought, looking at his hand. You already knew. And you were going to run toward the stars regardless of whether it was a wrong answer or the right one.

I thought I would be the one driving the wedge. To think that I was the one who got wedged.

Really. A person who keeps creating cracks in my world... That guy, no. It's the first time. A person who keeps creating cracks like this. Talking so freely. Really, so arrogant, so arrogant that I keep looking at him.

What kind of ending will we reach this time? Will I be poisoned and die again? Will you be by my side? And. Will that tower of Knightly Honor you're building really reach the stars?

So, take responsibility. For saving me back then. For making me join this club. For that arrogant remark about finding a better ending together while creating cracks in my world as you please. I definitely want you to take responsibility for it.

With a hollow laugh, I took his hand.