You Couldn't Succeed at This?
On the way home from school, Chaewon noona kept stealing glances to the side. The younger brother walking right beside her. From a little earlier, sighs of unknown origin had been coming from Shinwoo’s mouth.
“Haah.”
Was it because he had gone to school? Or was the fried egg she gave him the cause? Just looking at him made Chaewon noona feel like her breath was caught in her throat. Men were delicate creatures. As his family, she had an obligation to care for her little brother. Even if it meant dying as the target of his anger. In fact, Chaewon noona thought that being beaten to death by the hand of her beloved Shinwoo wouldn’t be so bad.
“Shinwoo, is something wrong?”
Noona asked with a smile that looked ready to take a hit. Only then did Shinwoo seem to realize she was beside him; his eyes widened. He was flustered for a moment. Could he really tell his family about something like this? It felt like it would only burden them, so he didn’t want to speak. But as if she had overheard his exact thoughts—
“If you’re worried about anything, tell me. I’ll listen.”
At noona’s gentle words, Shinwoo couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Actually…”
“Actually?”
“I thought I’d make a friend today, but I failed.”
An extremely ordinary concern for a male student. If anything, worrying about friends might even seem childish. It was a common enough worry in social life. After all, in human relationships, friends were always the next most important keyword after family. However, this was a world where the gender ratio had been completely shattered.
“F-friend…?”
A man calling a woman his friend. There were no other boys in that prestigious high school besides Shinwoo. Her little brother had just referred to a member of the opposite sex—not the same sex—as a friend. At that fact, Chaewon noona’s purple eyes instantly turned dead.
Of course, Shinwoo had no way of knowing that.
“Yes. There’s a girl named Elena in my class who became my desk partner.”
“Desk partner…”
“She’s really nice. It turned out she didn’t have a textbook, so we spent the whole day sharing one. She never once said she hated it.”
I’ve never even sat beside Shinwoo. Never shared a book with him like that. Something like that was an absolute line that couldn’t even be dreamed of at home.
A man and a woman pressed close together. Even for family, that was an inviolable boundary. Yet some random girl had crossed it on the sole excuse that she had become his desk partner today.
“She even asked if we could walk home together after school. But she turned me down, saying she still felt awkward around me.”
Who did she think she was, rejecting Shinwoo’s suggestion? No—to begin with, what kind of woman refused a man’s proposal? Had she gotten her uterus removed? The insolent bitch was so ridiculous that Chaewon noona let out a hollow laugh.
If it’s Elena… is she that girl who’s been watching me from afar this whole time…?
They had never spoken directly, but she had seen her a few times over people’s shoulders. An exchange student with an exotic appearance and the kind of developed figure typical of Westerners. A first-year junior with hair as blue as a clear sky and eyes that sparkled like rubies. Her thighs stood out beneath her uniform skirt, and even the school blazer couldn’t hide her sensual curves. Chaewon noona had once thought of her as nothing more than ‘a pretty child.’ If only she had known, she would have crushed her the very day their eyes met.
Sudden regret washed over Chaewon noona.
“Elena… Elena…”
“Do you know her too, noona?”
“Hmm. Well. I’ve only heard the name. She’s quite a promising student, after all.”
Chaewon noona answered with the brightest smile she could manage. But it wasn’t really a smile. It was the grin of a predator hiding sharp fangs at the corners of her mouth. She would smile while Shinwoo was present. She would deal with the girl while he wasn’t. Having made that firm resolution, Chaewon noona licked her lips.
“I’d like to meet her once. That girl.”
CONGRATULATIONS ON SHINWOO'S FIRST FRIEND!
After they got home, Shinwoo thought his family was acting strangely today. They had been perfectly normal until right before dinner—asking how school was, whether classes were fun. The house had felt like any ordinary home. Until he brought it up.
“Mom.”
“Yes! What is it, sweetheart?”
“I think I’ll have a friend soon.”
A casual remark made when he had almost finished eating. Even Chaewon noona, who had already heard the story, flinched. The other two reacted far more violently than imagined.
That day, Mother broke over half the dishes while washing them for the first time. Her face was smiling, yet she looked completely out of her mind. Soon she was drooling, showing clear signs of shock.
“F-f-friend…? A g-girl… friend… right?”
“Mother, are you all right?!”
Shinwoo helped his nearly-fainting mother to the sofa to rest. When he tried to finish the dishes in her place, this time his little sister Mijin grabbed the hem of his pants and wailed.
“Big brother! Are we not enough for you?!”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Mijin will do better! I’ll do anything you tell me to! Can’t you just not look at other women?”
They had only just gotten close. He was such a kind big brother who even read picture books exclusively to her. Suddenly some nameless bitch had appeared to steal him away—that was what Mijin believed. If the girl had only been one or two years older than him it might have been different, but Mijin was a third-year elementary student while the opponent was a first-year high schooler superior to her in both body and mind. Deciding she couldn’t win, the only weapon left to Mijin was a tantrum.
Shinwoo, however, simply saw it as adorable little-sister behavior.
“There, there. Big brother loves Mijin too. Okay?”
Thinking it was nothing more than jealousy, he gently patted her head. Normally Mijin would have gotten angry and insisted she wasn’t a child anymore. But by the time she came to her senses she had already become a smiling golden rabbit, completely melted by the head pats.
“Hehe…”
Pat, pat.
“Then big brother is going up to his room. Call me if you need anything, all right?”
“Yes! Good night, big brother!”
With a brightly beaming face, Mijin waved both hands frantically, having completely forgotten her original purpose. Shinwoo smiled at his little sister, climbed the stairs, and entered his room—which had essentially become a personal gym.
He had eaten everything and finished the dishes. All that remained was to exercise so the nutrients he had consumed wouldn’t turn into fat. Shinwoo was about to start his workout cheerfully with a light 500 on the big three lifts when the phone rang from the neatly placed 10 kg dumbbell on the floor. He naturally lifted it to his ear.
“Ah, testing, testing. Can you hear me clearly, Sir Shinwoo?”
It was the voice of Yoo Han-kyung, team leader of the Male Development Department at the National Intelligence Service. She had previously signed a contract with Shinwoo to act as his supporter and help him navigate social life.
“Yes. By the way, it’s amazing. Didn’t this dumbbell only have a surveillance camera?”
“Haha. Of course not. This is equipment from the Republic of Korea’s secret service, after all. It can’t possibly have only such an outdated function.”
Yoo Han-kyung answered Shinwoo’s question with confidence. At that moment she was standing in the center of a large monitor room completely filled with images of Shinwoo. Around her, NIS agents observing him from every possible angle were stationed. To maintain cool judgment, they slapped their own cheeks once every ten minutes while watching him. They were NIS agents before they were females; their determination not to yield to feminine instincts was absolute. Still, a few of them couldn’t help blushing.
“How was school today? Since you mentioned wanting to make friends, we deliberately sent you without a textbook.”
Team Leader Yoo Han-kyung asked in a voice full of expectation. They had been watching, but school was too crowded to monitor closely. For detailed information they had to hear it straight from Shinwoo. Still, the question was only a formality. She already thought she knew what the answer would be. After all, with a boy like him personally approaching a girl because she lacked a textbook and even speaking to her, what girl in the world wouldn’t become his friend…
“Well… I still haven’t made any friends yet.”
…There was?
The moment Yoo Han-kyung’s professional poker face cracked, she looked around at the agents who had become just as flustered as she was. The so-called “Create Shinwoo’s First Female Friend Project.” In truth, the National Intelligence Service had believed such an easy operation was already a guaranteed success before Shinwoo even set foot in school. It was a win-win—Shinwoo would gain a friend, they would succeed in their mission, killing three birds with one stone. A banner on one side of the monitor room that read “First Operation Celebration!” fell to the floor as if on cue.
With a single slightly upset remark from Shinwoo, the secret underground facility of the NIS fell into solemn silence.
And then—
“…Team Leader.”
“Wait. I’m thinking.”
As expected of an elite NIS agent, Team Leader Yoo Han-kyung refused to see this as mere coincidence. She began analyzing the situation in her head. A girl who didn’t want to be friends with a boy like that? No—before that, a woman who had refused a man. It was as if she were immune to males. The only people trained to that degree were secret agents belonging to state agencies like themselves. Could it be that someone was trying to approach Shinwoo in this manner?
An operation they had believed would succeed without fail. They had even started drinking the kimchi soup early, imagining the entire school turning into a red-light district on the very first day!
“…Sir Shinwoo. Is your desk partner saying she doesn’t want to be friends?”
“I’m not sure… But while we talked she kept avoiding eye contact. I suggested we walk home together, but she refused and left first.”
Had she gotten her uterus removed?
Yoo Han-kyung swallowed dryly and muted the line for a moment. She immediately issued new orders to every agent staring at her.
“Yes, understood!”
“If it’s Russia or China, the higher-ups might cause trouble even if she’s a spy, so handle it quietly. If things get messy, just cut the leg tendons and hand her over to the flame squad in secret. They’ll make good use of her regardless of nationality and then dispose of her quietly.”
“Yes!”
“I repeat, this is an unofficial national emergency! I will head out tomorrow immediately to provide Sir Shinwoo with mental care. The rest of you, deal with that desk partner in the meantime!”
In the suddenly bustling atmosphere, Yoo Han-kyung cleared her throat and unmuted the line.
“Yes, Sir Shinwoo. I’m sorry. There was a brief equipment malfunction.”
“Oh, I see?”
Team Leader Yoo Han-kyung continued as naturally as if nothing had happened.
“By the way, Sir Shinwoo. Would you happen to have some free time tomorrow?”
“Time?”
“Yes. It seems there’s been a slight hitch in the plan. Since tomorrow is the weekend anyway, if it’s all right with you, could you spare just a little time for me?”
So I can help you beat the crap out of that bitch.