D-101: Hello, I'm a Keyboard Warrior NEET. My Life Is Completely Fucked.

I let out a heavy sigh. I'm what people call a worthless NEET. The kind of guy who spends all day glued to the computer, rotting away in internet communities. I finished my military service, but after that I had no clue what to do with myself. I just drifted through vague daydreams and ended up wasting my time online. Sometimes the depression hits hard. Sometimes I tell myself I really need to do something productive with my life. But in the end I can't follow through, and I just keep looping through the same pathetic cycle. That's me. Ugh.

Anyway, it doesn't matter what I try. Most things I touch fall apart, and nothing ever feels right. Today I'm once again dumping garbage posts onto an internet forum that aren't even worth the pixels they're printed on. At ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this point I don't even feel anything anymore. Still, I don't feel any guilt. This lifestyle has gone on so long that I don't really think about it anymore. And yeah, this is going to sound ridiculous, but I think this might actually be my calling. Spending all day in communities, writing posts, starting fights. It makes me happy. It completely wipes away that looming depression. Isn't there a job like this? It seriously feels like my true vocation. Of course no one would pay me for it, and there's zero sense of accomplishment, but still. Nothing kills time better. It's even kind of fun in its own way. The depression that feels like it's about to crash over me vanishes. Two birds, one stone.

I tapped away at the keyboard, typing out meaningless sentences that meant nothing. I'd laugh at posts that somehow racked up tons of upvotes, then pick pointless fights with other threads for no reason. I wrote posts designed to farm maximum hate and watched the flood of angry replies, the serious ones, the ones filled with righteous fury. I'd written them without thinking, just to get attention, yet here they were reacting like this. It was hilarious. Yeah, well. What is life anyway? Just chase that dopamine. The allowance I got was enough to live on. Even the occasional guilt had mostly faded. It really didn't matter, did it?

But this latest guy was talking way too much. It was annoying. His tone was weird too, like he'd picked up some stupid concept. Was he mentally ill? ...Well, I guess I'm not exactly normal either.

Huh? What the hell is this bullshit? Am I a criminal now?

Resocialization? What kind of nonsense is this? Isn't that something they only do to actual criminals? This guy is spouting complete garbage. Seriously, the longer I stay on the internet, the more I realize there are way crazier people than me out there. I'm pretty weird myself, but at least I don't pretend to be some old man. Honestly, compared to most people here, I'm actually pretty tame. Ahem. I do stir up a lot of trouble, though. Causing chaos is just too fun. Anyway. Sigh. I met a weird person today, and I'm exhausted from all the keyboard battles, so maybe I'll call it here. I haven't actually done anything, yet I'm dead tired. Is that just how NEETs are? Whatever, I'm wiped out.

I stood up from my chair and immediately flopped onto the bed. Ah, comfortable. ...I'm hungry. Another urge immediately took over. If I want to jerk off, I can jerk off. If I'm hungry, I can order food. What a fucking animal. Not that I care. Tap, tap. I pulled out my phone to order delivery like usual when suddenly──

Knock, knock.

"...Yeah? What is it?"

A knock sounded in the room that had only known the sound of mechanical keyboard switches for the past several months. Delivery? No, delivery guys always just leave it at the door without knocking... I figured it was nothing important and opened the door. I was a healthy adult male, after all. Didn't matter who it was. And honestly, it was probably just some braindead delivery person who hadn't seen the sign saying not to ring the bell or knock. Predictable.

"...Ah, yes. This is the residence of Mr. [REDACTED], correct?"

"──Why even ask? It's obvious at a glance, idiot."

"I felt the same, but I wanted to confirm."

But what I saw wasn't what I expected at all. Two girls. Police? At first glance maybe, but looking at how they were dressed... The shorts were so short they might as well have been dolphin pants, paired with crop tops that showed off their midriffs. The color scheme did resemble police uniforms, though. Were they actually police? The vibe was... No. What the hell am I thinking. Dressed like total perverts. Before I could process any of it, my eyes landed on a pink-haired girl who was grinning mischievously. The calmer one looked young, but up close she clearly had a figure that had fully developed. ...I really am pathetic for checking out their bodies first thing.

But still. Why did it have to be girls... Ahem. Just encountering women was already a huge hurdle for me. Especially ones who matched my tastes. I could already feel my heart racing and became painfully aware of my own breathing as I somehow managed to answer.

"...Ah, yes. That's me... What can I do for you?"

God, I was stuttering like a total loser. But it wasn't like I talked to people often. There was a calm-looking girl and a lively-looking girl. The lively one spoke first. She sounded strangely excited as she stepped way too close to me. W-wait. Why is she getting so close? Damn it, I'm hyper aware of her now. Back off. Uh, huh? She's coming even closer. G-go away. This is embarrassing.

What? My eyes widened as I stared at the two of them. My face naturally flushed bright red. It was so fucking embarrassing. Th-those were really my posts and comments? What the hell was this? More importantly, was I really societal trash? No. I mulled over the words. Trash? Me, societal trash? ......Hmm. Thinking about it, she wasn't exactly wrong. When I considered all the things I'd done and the fact that I'd been a NEET for years, it wasn't entirely off base. But did I really have to hear this from crazy girls in weird outfits I'd never met before?

Yeah, this was obviously a prank. Or a hidden camera thing. There was no way they were police. Especially dressed like that. Only an idiot would think they were real cops. My brain must have short-circuited for a second. I felt pathetic for even considering they might be police for a moment. Still, even if it was a prank, calling me societal trash was going too far. I was actually kind of sensitive. But all those thoughts passed in a flash. My reactions were painfully slow because I was so nervous about talking to girls. Only after thinking through all of that did I finally respond.

"Ah, no. I mean, yes, those are my posts, but... are you really police? Wait a second. I mean, sure, the posts were bad, but... they're not exactly arrest-worthy, are they?"

Both of them looked at me with pity in their eyes. Even the calm white-haired one was giving me that look. I thought she seemed more reasonable. I suddenly felt like actual trash. I mean, I had just been called societal trash. But I wasn't a criminal. I just wrote community posts, vented my trivial desires ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠through text. I was practically a model citizen. I didn't commit real crimes. Why were they going after someone like me instead of actual criminals? Was I really getting arrested for this? ...No way. They don't arrest people for worse stuff. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠And how did they even get my address? How did they find my posts? I'd denied they were police, but now that I thought about it, tracking posts and finding an address was pretty suspicious. I suddenly realized how absurd the whole situation was. A wave of anxiety, questions, and nervousness hit me all at once. Even though they were much smaller than me, I found myself completely intimidated.

This was seriously weird. Were they actually police? Or... was this a dream? I pinched my own arm without thinking. Ow. Fuck. That really hurt. Not a dream then. Shit... was I screwed? The pain felt completely real. I'd always been good at telling dreams from reality, so this was basically me refusing to accept what was happening. I stood there in a daze, still unable to believe this was real, or maybe not wanting to believe it.

"......Yes. You most definitely qualify as societal trash. I'll introduce myself later. People tend to resist when we take too long."

They stepped closer. Even though I had the size advantage, something about the atmosphere made me take a step back. Wait── what did she just say? Resocialization? Should I say something now? But if I resisted, wouldn't they just take me anyway? I tried to shout something, anything. I had a mountain of questions, like how they found my address. But before I could get the words out...

......Pfft!

A small sound. Huh, what was tha── Ah. My vision suddenly blurred. My body wouldn't listen. I staggered. Something... my vision was dropping. My eyes were sinking. Only then did I feel the dull pain in my back. A syringe? Between my fading eyes, I caught a glimpse of something in my back. A syringe filled with who-knows-what... Wh-what the hell. Fuck. Sleeping pills? Anesthetic? What the hell is this? In my spinning head, one final clear thought emerged. I had to resist, had to get to those two girls, even if it was just the bare minimum. I had to do something. If I didn't, I was dead. That thought hit me and I tried to fight back, to do anything, but my body wouldn't listen. My outstretched arm fell uselessly to the floor. Ah, shit. Am I really going to die here? I don't know anymore. Please... save...

The last thing I heard was their nonsense, growing fainter and fainter, before my consciousness was completely cut off.