Hey! What Is This? (1)
Even with only the two of us, my strength was running on fumes and Suho — who had apparently never learned to feed himself properly — was all skin and bones. Hauling everything crammed into the trunk and back seat in a single go was out of the question.
We couldn't even share the elevator on repeated trips; with no telling how many loads it would take, we'd end up monopolizing it all evening. So, three drinks in hand as an offering, I slipped down to the security office. If he could help, wonderful; if not, we'd be hogging the elevator regardless, and at the very least I could ask him to pass our apologies along to the neighbors.
Knock knock.
The door slid open with a creak.
"Hello?"
"Ah, if it isn't the Madam. What brings you down here? My, my, I'll gladly enjoy this drink."
Watching him accept the drinks I'd shyly held out without a moment's hesitation, I figured help was as good as secured.
"Oh, it's nothing much — well, actually, we went a little overboard shopping this time, so I hate to impose, but would you be able to help us carry things? Just from the car to the elevator, and from the elevator up to our door..."
"Of course I'll help — what kind of guard would I be otherwise? You've parked in the underground garage, I take it? Heh heh."
"Yes, yes."
Fortunately the security office kept a small handcart on hand, which made the job far easier, and with three of us working, everything moved more smoothly and quickly than I'd dared hope.
"There we are... shall we call it done?"
"Oh — yes! Thank you so much!"
His speech and bearing clearly belonged to a man well on in years, yet the way he moved while hauling boxes put both Suho and me to shame several times over.
Was he the athletic type, I wonder...?
Thanks to him, the move wrapped up faster than expected, leaving us just enough breathing room to sit and rest a moment. Sprawled out at the entrance, I gave our surroundings a leisurely once-over.
It was only a cursory sweep, but I'd confirmed nothing got left behind on the trips from car to elevator, and nothing got dropped between elevator and apartment — so everything we'd bought had to have made it in.
Ah, still — better get all this put away fast so we can rest properly.
Nearly all of it belonged in the refrigerator, and I wanted it sorted before anything melted or went warm, so I called for Suho.
"Suho. Let's wash our hands first."
"Yes. Up you get, Noona."
"Yeah."
I took the hand he offered and rose slowly, and my newly liberated ankles immediately began filing complaints of exhaustion.
Hang in there just a little longer... we barely have to move...
Placating my ankles as best I could, I followed him in — and there was Suho, rubbing his hands together, apparently about to lather up, without even having shut off the tap.
"Suho. Turn the water off when you're not using it."
"...? Yes."
"And you lather like this."
I clasped the hand still clutching the soap and rubbed it up and down until the suds piled high, set the bar on its dish, then took both his hands and helped work the lather in with my own.
Standing behind him and reaching over his shoulder, I'd gotten his hands thoroughly soaped — the problem was mine.
Wouldn't it just be faster to wash them together?
"Soap mine up too."
"......Wha...? Ye—yes...?!! Why?!"
"Oh, come on — hurry up, wash quick, so we can sort the fridge! I can't see mine properly from back here, so you do it for me. I did yours, didn't I?"
"......Uh... yes..."
As Suho worked up a fresh lather and kneaded away at my hands, his palms felt somehow softer than my own.
Or is that not it...? Have my hands just gotten softer?
Which of us was softer hardly mattered. Suho had fussed over my hands for so long that he apparently decided they were done and reached to turn on the faucet — so I seized his hands and started scrubbing them myself.
"You have to scrub well between every finger, like this. Got it?"
"Noona!! I at least know how to wash my hands!! Let go...!"
"Why? This way we finish faster and save water, too."
"No — it's just hand-washing, who washes them together?! Noona!!!"
"Huh. Is that not a thing?"
I gently loosened my fingers from his, which were laced through mine to scrub between the knuckles, and once the huffing Suho shut off the water, I slipped my hands free and pulled out a towel to dry.
Why is he getting so worked up?
"Noona."
"Hm?"
"Don't ever do that anywhere else."
"Do what? Why?"
"Who just grabs a man's hands and starts soaping them up like that?!"
"I did it because it was you."
I'd always maintained that the most important things to drill into a younger sibling were washing up, brushing teeth, and a decent head for money — and the reason I'd gone so far as to seize the hands of one Lee Suho, who'd been about to settle for a mere splash and rinse, was, naturally, that he was the 'little brother' living under my roof.
"......? ......!?"
When I tossed him the towel I'd been using, his expression shifted in some fascinating new way as he caught it and dried his hands.
Leaving him to it, I stepped out of the bathroom, rolling up my blouse sleeves as I opened the refrigerator.
"Ahh... you know what, I should just change clothes first."
Yes, I'd already cleaned out that fridge from hell — but there was no telling what might happen in the middle of hauling things in and out.
Doing that in clothes that looked pretty and expensive at even a glance seemed foolish; better to just throw on a boxy tee. I shut the fridge and walked over to stand before the bed.
"We're both men anyway, so no harm in me changing real quick, right?"
I untied the ribbon perched at my chest, undid the blouse buttons and slipped it off, shook it roughly back into shape, and laid it on the bed. Then I drew the boxy tee from where it lay nestled in the drawer, pulled it on over my head, unzipped the skirt, and wriggled free of it, working my legs this way and that.
Was the blouse a bit more snug than I thought?
My chest, which had felt vaguely constrained all day, settled into comfort, and I rolled the shoulders I'd be putting to work for a while yet, letting them slowly loosen up.
"......Noona, what are you doing...? No, wait — you changed. All of it?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. All changed. You're taking the suit off too, right?"
At Suho's voice behind me I turned my head, and there stood Lee Suho, awkwardly shielding his face with one hand before slowly letting it fall.
"Yes. I do need to change as well."
"Take it off and leave it on the bed, then. I'll put everything in the hamper in one go."
"...You want me to change here?"
"Yeah? What's the problem? Why, do you need help taking your clothes off too?"
"......"
Suho swallowed several times, then shook his head vigorously.
"Even if you're basically a big kid, you can manage your own clothes, can't you? Right? I'll go ahead and start sorting."
"...Yes. I'll be right out."
"Whew..."
He'd expected as much, but Gaon's behavior — more than enough to make a man wonder whether the two of them could really go on living under one roof — sent Suho's sigh drifting long through the air.
She still carried herself exactly as she had when she'd been a man, yet sooner or later, past some invisible line, Song Gaon would become his 'Noona' beyond any argument. Lee Suho had chosen not to press the point, worried that pushing her would only earn a furious denial and real psychological damage — and only now did he begin to regret that decision.
"Ack! Why is this thing so heavy!?"
"Whoa—? Noona! One moment, let me help!"
She'd fearlessly hoisted the massive slab of meat, only to find she could neither set it down nor wedge it into the freezer shelf, and now stood floundering, her muttering edging toward a shriek. Lee Suho, who had been changing at his leisure, threw his clothes on helter-skelter and rushed to her side, still half-dressed.
The loss of muscle strength was only to be expected. Among Acute Sex Change Syndrome patients, the feminization cases — men turned women — shed both height and weight, so life after the change was bound to hold one bewildering surprise after another. And the altered body made her scatter, entirely without her knowing, gestures that looked for all the world like a woman's seduction.
He knew this. He had braced for it... and yet the stimulation he'd just absorbed was truly hard to endure. Doing his best to look indifferent, Lee Suho accepted the hefty slab of frozen meat from the trembling Song Gaon.
"Ahh~ was this always this heavy...? Here, put it in the freezer for me."
"Yes."
"Thanks."
It was an environment where, if he merely set his mind to it, something could happen. A home where not another soul lived on the floor; the two of them alone indoors. A person whose paperwork was unfinished — whose existence even the registries couldn't yet confirm. The living room, bed and all, lay a mere handful of steps away. In a few hours — no, in less than one — Lee Suho could have made Song Gaon into a 'woman.'
But he shook his head and swept the impure thought away as easily as it had come. Song Gaon patted his head simply for carrying what she couldn't; to her, he was nothing more than a kid brother. Theirs was a bond drawn up in contract, which was exactly why he had to be careful. For a bond to become a romance took every bit as much time and effort — and he was the one who'd decided to win her heart slowly, after all.
"Ahh... I think we're about done here... Hehe. That went fast."
For a long while Lee Suho had been running like a machine — told where an item went, taking it, placing it there — until Song Gaon's contented murmur yanked him out of his reverie in a hurry. Partly because he dreaded that his sharp-eyed Noona might peer into her little brother's heart and glimpse the darkness there. And partly because, watching her smile so unguardedly, he'd found himself thinking that the harder something was to have, the more beautiful it became.
"You're hungry, aren't you? Let's eat something simple, then pick one room and clean it."
"I'm sorry?"
"Ah... the furniture's being delivered tomorrow morning."
The total for everything she'd bought at the furniture store that day ran well past ten million won. The woman had a bit of a miser's streak, and Suho couldn't bear to watch her fall in love with something, bow to the price tag out of sheer necessity, and regret it afterward — so he had given advance instructions to his ever-faithful subordinate: steer her toward places without visible price tags so she could buy whatever she wanted, and spirit the receipts away under the pretense of 'keeping them separate.' Noona was never to know the prices. And thanks to Han Yeji, who had carried out that mission to the letter, he now got to watch his Noona beam like a child as she proposed cleaning a room.
I do want to make this Noona cry someday... but even having more or less peeked inside her head, it's still far too early for that.
Somewhere within the countless novels she'd written lay the answer to Song Gaon herself — the passwords she'd left scattered through her own prose without ever realizing it. But even with the passwords in hand, approaching her was still off-limits.
Slowly. I'll close the distance slowly — all while swatting away the vermin sure to come buzzing around her.
"Yes, I'll help you clean. What's for dinner tonight?"
"Let's grill some smoked duck and eat it with rice — keep it simple. We need to get food in us fast, so it's instant rice for tonight... and honestly, rice will be instant rice for a while."
"Yes. Of course."