Chapter 0
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 0
Chapter Title: Prologue
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Prologue.
"You have such a nice face."
It was a line I'd heard to death ever since college. Out of ten, you're a ten—meaning, stay right there and don't move. I'd forgotten about it for a while, but hearing it again after so long brought it all back.
"If you take our survey right now, we're giving away this book."
I'd been about to ignore her and walk on by, but I ended up taking the survey sheet anyway. The cover was shoddy, the printing quality terrible—it screamed cult philosophy book. And yet, that was exactly what drew me in.
It felt like spotting a monster with low stats but a unique color variant. When else was I going to get my hands on something like that? Better grab it while I could.
But the very first question was off the rails.
1) You want to be reborn in the next life.
This was supposed to be a survey? Why phrase it like a statement?
Our eyes met, and the woman stared right at me.
"You have to answer every question. No exceptions."
I hadn't noticed before, but there was something sinister about her now. A chill ran down my spine.
Regret hit me late, but with her dead serious expression, I couldn't bring myself to say I was done.
Fine. I'd just fill it out half-assed. Better than a hardcore permadeath run with no second chances.
1) You want to be reborn in the next life.
- Yes.
The next question was even crazier.
2) If you're going to be reborn, you'd prefer to come back as a woman.
- No. Absolutely male.
3) If you've started something, you have to see it through to the end.
Was this the survey pressuring me to finish? Well, it matched my personality anyway.
- Yes
4) Which of the five senses is most important to you?
Finally, something that actually felt like a survey question. The content was weird, but if it was about the top sense, no contest.
- Vision
5) Which reward would you like?
(Parasol / Bag / Hat)
So this was the real hook, huh? Gauging demand for their proselytizing bait items. For the sake of others, I picked the one I'd never take myself. What guy needs a parasol?
- Parasol
6) Write your address to receive the reward.
-
A straight-ball trap question right after the main event. Whoever made this survey was one scary bastard.
"I don't need the souvenir, so I'll skip number 6."
She clearly hadn't expected me to refuse so firmly—her face showed real panic. Four years of college had honed my cult-rejection skills; no way was she pulling one over on me.
She muttered something like, "This isn't supposed to happen..." but I shoved the survey back at her. Sure, it was a shame about the book, but I wasn't some collector who'd lose sleep over missing it.
"Wait a second. Here, take this. And keep the book."
'True Goodness Great Dao You Can Learn with Eyes Closed.'
A title that didn't sound culty at all... and yet totally did.
"Learn even with your eyes closed" felt like something from an elementary school primer, but tacked on with that razor-sharp "True Goodness Great Dao," it screamed fraud.
I snatched the book without a word and stuffed it in my bag.
She kept muttering to herself—"Surveys are supposed to work straight-up these days. Did I mess up? Guess I'll have to give the reward next time we meet"—but I didn't look back as I walked away.
I'll have to take a different route home for a while.
The thought of getting home and relaxing made me pull out the book right away. No lie—I read for fun, for relaxation.
And now I'd scored this rare cult artifact. Had to review it. I'd figured they'd strong-arm followers into buying it online at markup, but nope, it was a giveaway. Made me even more eager to review.
Two more surprises: the book was more boring than expected... and way more fun.
Mostly, it was the usual cult gibberish—religious philosophy no one could understand. But what was fresh was how each topic split into front and back halves.
The front half was written in Korean, droning endlessly about incomprehensible concepts. Stuff like Chilmyeong, Taewon, mixing Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism into philosophical spaghetti.
The back half, though? Examples tied to the front, structured with solid pacing and real entertainment value. So gripping I slogged through the book just to get to those parts.
In other words, half the book was an anthology of short stories!
For example, after some front-half ramble about humans, mountains, and salt, there was a tale of a man howling at the heavens who became an immortal.
Another chapter's front half pontificated on universal love and the Dao, while the back was about a vicious little girl.
Before I knew it, I'd finished the whole thing—way past my usual bedtime.
No wonder my eyes felt so dry.
For tomorrow's sake, I hit the sack right away. Review could wait. That book deserved a one-day pass from my sharpest critiques.
Chilmyeong (漆冥) arises from the silence of Taewon (太元). Grasp the brink of death and weave the thread of new life.
But even with my eyes closed, the book's incomprehensible lines swirled in my mind, refusing to fade.
Gather all the world's yin (陰) to forge a single yang (陽), and the principles of heaven and earth shall turn away.
With soul and spirit as your vessel, bonds as your seal, pierce eons of kalpas to grasp the latch of the Great Dao.
And then I truly closed my eyes. Truly, in more ways than one.