Getting to Know Each Other
I asked her name. She said, “Kang Yunseo.”
I asked about her hobbies. She said, “Writing novels.”
“Come on, be precise. You write erotica.”
“So what? Your hobby is reading incest porn. Anyway, what the hell are we even doing right now?”
My sister and I had been strolling along the beach before stopping at a nearby café. The building was fancy, but since it was a weekday, there were hardly any customers. Thanks to that, the entire second floor—with its killer ocean view—was ours alone.
“Why? You said we should get to know each other better. So I’m asking questions.”
“Getting to know each other is fine, but why do you keep asking things you already know?”
“You start with the basics. Name. Hobbies. Major.”
“That’s the kind of stuff strangers ask. We already know everything about each other.”
This is harder than I thought. How the hell do I steer this conversation?
The truth was… I couldn’t come up with any good questions. If we were a normal guy and girl, we’d probably spend the time asking all sorts of things to learn about one another. But we’re siblings. We already know each other far too well—uncomfortably well. We know what the other looks like naked. We know each other’s weak spots. We even know each other’s kissing habits.
“If you’re so great at this, why don’t you take a turn, sis?”
I finally handed the reins over to her. Let’s see how she does it.
“This is when you, as the man, should take the lead.”
“Shouldn’t the older one set an example?”
“Tsk, fine. You’re such a pain in the ass. Um… hobbies?”
“See? Even you can’t think of anything when it’s your turn, right?”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re so smart. Anyway, hobbies?”
“Working out. More specifically, weight training. I read sometimes too. My turn now?”
“Sure.”
“Hmm… ideal type?”
“A guy who’s the complete opposite of my little brother.”
“What’s wrong with him? He treats his sister really well and has a great personality. From what I’ve heard from his sister, he’s also well-endowed and a great kisser.”
“Where the hell are you getting these hallucinations from? Maybe you should go to the hospital instead of drinking coffee with me.”
“Why? What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re too frivolous. There’s zero depth to you as a man.”
“What do you want me to do about it? Should I grow a beard?”
“No. Just stop doing stupid shit to me.”
“For example?”
“Like fucking me. Or getting me pregnant. Stuff like that. You’re seriously addicted to sexual harassment.”
“They’re all expressions of affection… though.”
“Fuck off.”
“Understood. I’ll fix it.”
“And stop wearing those ratty workout clothes all the time. If you’re going out with me, at least put on some jeans. Mom gave you a decent face—use it properly. The way you dress makes you look like a total bum.”
“Got it. I’ll keep that in mind. Your turn again.”
“…Ideal type?”
“You’ve been repeating the same questions.”
“It’s your imagination.”
“A woman who writes amazing sibling-incest novels. A woman with long black hair who looks perfect in a dress and coat.”
“Ugh… you. How can you say that with a straight face? It’s so embarrassing just listening to it.”
“You were curious, weren’t you? Why, isn’t this what you wanted to hear?”
“Think whatever you want.”
“Look at you dodging. It’s because answering is too hard for you. And your breasts are about a C-cup, right? When I grab them, they fill my hands perfectly, don’t they?”
When I made a squeezing motion in the air, my sister smacked my forehead.
“You idiot. I told you not to do stuff like this. Stuff like this. Do you even listen when I talk?”
“You were curious, so I’m just trying to give you the most detailed answer possible. And you don’t even appreciate my sincerity.”
“Would you like it if I acted like you? Like saying your dick would be perfect if it were this big?”
“Doesn’t matter. My dick is a luxury model anyway.”
“Idiot. Moving on.”
“Okay. Favorite dish? Not delivery—something I’ve cooked for you.”
I took a sip. The coffee was bitter. Definitely worth the price; it tasted nothing like instant. The aftertaste was clean.
“Pasta.”
“I knew it.”
“Hmm… even a rolling dung beetle has its skills, I guess. At least you’re definitely good at that.”
“You sure know how to give a backhanded compliment. Anything else?”
“Mapo tofu is decent. And the stir-fried pork isn’t bad either.”
“Just add plenty of green onions. Since you like it, I’ll keep making it for you. Your turn again.”
“Um, what should I ask… Okay, got it.”
My sister took a sip of her coffee too. A faint lipstick mark stained the rim of the cup.
“You.”
“Yeah?”
“…What exactly do you like about me? Don’t say everything. Everything is banned, so be specific.”
Everything? I had no intention of being that generous. Of course not. After all the years we’ve lived together, there’s no way I could like every single thing about her. Just looking at the mess in her room was enough to take my breath away.
“Be specific?”
“Yes.”
“Honestly, what else? Your face, obviously.”
“Uh… my face?”
“Your breasts and ass too. They’re not too soft, not too big, and they sit perfectly on your body. The way they push back against my fingers with that nice elasticity is great. Oh, and your hips. I always thought they were wide, but when you’re naked it’s even more obvious. I’m convinced one of our ancestors must’ve been a foreigner. For real.”
“…I asked you to tell me what you like, not to sexually harass me. And why did it have to be so long and detailed?”
“Why? I was just listing facts. You told me to say what I like about you.”
“No, I mean… there must be other things.”
“Like what?”
“Like, you have a good personality. Or your smile is pretty.”
“Is your conscience broken? You should at least make sense. What part of your personality is good? And honestly, your smile is kind of scary. You only smile when you’re tormenting me.”
“Fuck. When did I ever—”
“When you hit me. When you tease me. Like that time with the butt incident.”
“…That’s not true.”
“It is. The victim is saying so right now.”
“Y-you’re the one who never gives me anything to smile about. You stress me out every single day.”
“No, you smile every time you bully me, don’t you? So isn’t it thanks to your little brother that you get to smile?”
“Ugh, whatever. I don’t know. You’re seriously annoying.”
“Anyway, that’s how it is.”
“So you’re saying your only goal is my body. That’s why you say you like me.”
“Hey, that’s not it.”
“Like hell it isn’t, you pervert. My face, breasts, ass… what else was there?”
“Hips. Oh, and your legs and feet. All of it. Literally everything about you.”
“There. You said it yourself. You like every single part of my body.”
“Your body is great. But… honestly, the stuff inside needs some serious revision. I’ll admit that. Starting with your personality.”
“…What’s wrong with my personality?”
“You swear way too much.”
“You’re the one who makes me swear.”
“Still. You could say something like, ‘My beloved little brother, if you say that, your big sister will feel hurt,’ and speak nicely. But no, you always go straight to ‘you fucking bastard’ or ‘crazy son of a bitch.’”
“That’s because you… Ha. Fine. I’ll fix it. But you need to watch your mouth too.”
“What did I do?”
“Are you seriously asking? If I reported you for sexual harassment, they’d slap handcuffs on that dick of yours right now.”
“Okay. I’ll fix it.”
“Don’t just say it. Show me.”
“Show you what?”
“Show me how you’re going to talk to me. Nicely. Properly.”
“If you suddenly lay out the red carpet like that, I don’t know what to say.”
“You were spewing sexual harassment like water before. Now it’s suddenly gone?”
“I’m scared someone might hear. Terrified. Um… okay. Sis, you look really pretty today.”
“…”
“Especially your lips. They look just like apples. Though when I kissed them, they only tasted like lipstick. Is that not good enough?”
“…I’ll let it pass.”
“The dress looks pretty too.”
“Hey.”
“What now?”
“Is that seriously all your vocabulary can manage? Pretty, pretty. You’ve been saying ‘pretty’ nonstop.”
“If something’s pretty, I call it pretty. What else am I supposed to say? You’re the writer—give me some better lines.”
“Something like, ‘You combined the dress and coat really well.’ Or ‘You paid attention to showing off your beautiful legs…’”
“That sounds even more perverted.”
“You’re the one with no sense.”
“Scanning me from head to toe and describing everything out loud is what you call having sense?”
“Anyway, you have to say it in a way that makes the listener feel good.”
“That’s so damn complicated.”
“If you don’t like it, then forget it.”
“Ugh.”
I suddenly leaned in and planted a kiss on her forehead.
“What are you doing?!”
“Nothing. I was just annoyed. Wanted to piss you off. Give me your hand.”
I grabbed her hand and started kissing the back of it repeatedly.
“Even this isn’t enough to calm you down? Want to move closer? We can do lip-to-lip.”
“Idiot. Moron.”
She must’ve decided to swear less. Her usual foul mouth had softened considerably. Normally she would’ve hurled double curses by now.
“Hey.”
She crooked her finger, beckoning me closer.
“You’re going to hit me.”
“I won’t.”
“Liar.”
“I said I won’t. Come here before I change my mind.”
“I’m nervous…”
I inched closer cautiously. Then she grabbed my face and planted a firm, wet kiss on my cheek.
“You’re going to walk around with that all day today. If you wipe it off, I won’t let you hear the end of it.”
I checked my phone’s camera. Sure enough, a red lipstick mark was clearly visible.
“Aw, this doesn’t come off easily. I already had a hard time wiping the one off my lips earlier.”
“That’s exactly why I did it. Don’t wipe it. Keep it until we get home.”
“When are we going home?”
“Who knows? Maybe we should just stay out all night together today?”
“Hey! People will see!”
“So? It’ll be fun. And don’t touch it. If you wipe it, I’ll never hang out with you again.”
My sister looked at me and burst into laughter. I have no idea why she finds messing with her little brother so entertaining. My idiot sister probably won’t let me erase this mark no matter what. Even if everyone we meet laughs at me.