This Is a Huge Problem
The blanket I’d hung out to dry on the veranda was still soaking wet. “Hey. What the hell happened? It hasn’t dried at all.”
“Why are you yelling at me? How was I supposed to know it was going to rain!” I tried to snap back even louder, but all I got was a sharp glare from my sister. “For fuck’s sake, you were the one going on and on about ‘housewife life this’ and ‘housewife life that,’ acting like a total lunatic.”
I regretted making such a fuss earlier. But seriously, what were we supposed to do now? It wasn’t like we had zero blankets in the house. The problem was that none of them were usable right away. The ones we kept for when our parents visited were covered in mold. Since no one ever went into the master bedroom, we hadn’t noticed until it was too late. If my memory was accurate… the last time we’d used them was right before I enlisted. That was the first time in a while the whole family had gathered together. Their son was finally being discharged.
When I got back, I’d begged her at least once—please, just wash the blankets. But of course… ‘She never fails to live down to my expectations.’
“So what are we going to do? We don’t have any blankets left in the house.”
“Just wear a bunch of clothes and sleep rough for tonight. They’ll be dry by tomorrow.”
Unfortunately, there wasn’t even a coin laundry nearby. Carrying wet blankets in a taxi while it was pouring rain sounded ridiculous. Maybe I should just run away in the middle of the night.
“…I can’t sleep if I wear too many layers. It feels suffocating.”
“Then have you been sleeping naked this whole time? Just suck it up for one night. If they’re still not dry by tomorrow, I’ll steal some for you even if I have to break in somewhere.”
Instead of answering, she just shot me a dirty look. Yeah, yeah. I’m the asshole here.
“Just give me yours then.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
“You literally just said it yourself. Wear a bunch of clothes and tough it out for one night.”
“We inherited the same blood, dumbass. You think I’m any different? I sleep in nothing but panties.”
“Then what the hell do you want me to… Wait a second.”
“What?”
“You planned all of this, didn’t you?”
“Planned what?”
“You did this on purpose so you could suggest we sleep together. Wow, I actually got chills.”
“…I’m more scared of your imagination, honestly.”
Writing nothing but erotica all day must have rotted her brain. She was accusing me of something that had never even crossed my mind.
“Bullshit. Now that I think about it, even when I told you not to wash it, you snatched it away anyway, huffing and puffing. ‘I have to sleep with my sister, so why are you stopping me?’ Were you worried I’d figured out your dirty little secret or something?”
“If you didn’t use it like a fucking rag, I wouldn’t have cared. You cover yourself with it every day—doesn’t that gross you out? And you said you sleep naked. That thing touches your bare skin. You’ll catch some disease for real.”
“You idiot, when did I ever say that! I said wearing too many layers is uncomfortable, not that I sleep naked! Besides, unlike you, I always shower before bed, so I’m clean, okay?”
“Kang Yunseo. You clearly don’t understand something. People sweat a ridiculous amount while they sleep. And I didn’t know it was going to rain tonight either! If you’re that worried, maybe watch the news while you’re cleaning your room instead of just sucking on honey and doing nothing! Why the fuck are you taking it out on me!”
“I don’t care. Figure it out yourself. I’m sleeping under your blanket.”
She stormed off with quick little steps.
“Then what about me? Hey! What if your one and only precious little brother catches a cold? You’re going to regret it forever, you know?”
“Catch one or don’t, I don’t give a shit. Don’t worry. Idiots don’t catch colds. Since you’re a complete moron, you must be invincible. Congratulations.”
“Come on, I didn’t do it on purpose, sis. I just wanted you to sleep on something clean. Is this how you treat me? I’m genuinely hurt, you know?”
I trailed after her like a lost puppy. Even after she entered my room, she seemed reluctant to actually take my blanket. She just stood there glaring at the bed.
“So what do you want me to do then?”
“I don’t know either.”
“There’s no coin laundry nearby.”
“We’d have to drive pretty far. And the moldy ones are kind of… yeah.”
“What if we catch some weird disease? You shouldn’t use them either.”
“That’s why I told you to wash them and put them away. Once the rain stops, I’ll have to wash that one too.”
“…Sorry.”
“Ugh. Stop. Don’t apologize. It feels even worse when you do that.”
“Fuck. You get mad even when I apologize. How does that work?”
“Sis.”
“…What.”
“Just for tonight… do you want to sleep together? No, wait. Just for one night. Ugh, what the hell. I’m the one suggesting it and you’re overreacting.”
The words “sleep together for one night” must have sounded like “let me fuck you for one night” to her ears. Her expression darkened instantly, and she wrapped both arms around her chest.
“There it is. There it is again. You’re playing some perverted porn in your head right now, aren’t you?”
How is it possible that she’s hornier than I am? She really is an erotica author.
“You’re the one who said we should sleep together! How would you feel if your perverted little brother who’s always thinking about jumping you suddenly suggested that?”
“Then I don’t know either. Handle it yourself. Freeze to death or don’t, I don’t care. I’m exhausted too. Go turn off the lights. I’m going to sleep.”
I left her there grumbling and climbed into bed first. Did she think I was some idiot who just laughed at everything? If she kept acting like this, I was going to get genuinely upset. I did all of this for her, you know. I really didn’t know it was going to rain. The sun had been shining perfectly this morning. She’d seen it too.
I should start telling her to make her own food from now on. I do everything for her sake and all I get is constant nagging. She thinks I don’t get upset too? I’ve been too nice to her.
I pulled the blanket over my head and muttered loudly enough for her to hear. If she had any conscience at all, she should feel at least a little guilty. She shouldn’t treat me like a pest all the time.
“Fine. I get it. I’m sorry.”
When she sat down on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipped toward her side.
“Ha, seriously. But you have to keep your clothes on properly. If you lie next to me in nothing but panties, I’ll kill you.”
“Really? So we’re sleeping together then?”
Oops. Even I could tell my voice sounded way too cheerful.
“Why do you sound so happy? We’re just sleeping.”
“It’s been so long since we slept together. It just reminded me of old times. A little trip down memory lane.”
It must have been over ten years since we last shared a blanket. It only happened back when we were in elementary school. Whenever she heard a scary story or couldn’t fall asleep, she would drag me into her room. Then she’d hug me tight and throw tantrums until she fell asleep. She’d beg me to play with her.
Looking back, both then and now, I really am a patient person. The fact that I put up with all her bullshit in silence says a lot. Maybe I’ve just been a hopeless sis-con since the beginning.
“Anyway, if you touch my body, you’re dead. I’m not joking.”
“You’re the one who shouldn’t do anything weird to me. I’ll scream. From the looks of it, writing erotica every day has completely destroyed your brain. Our dear author Kang.”
“Then die screaming, you moron.”
“You really won’t jump me? No matter how much you like your little brother? We’re siblings, you know.”
“Forget it. I’d rather freeze to death. Listening to your bullshit is making my ears rot.”
“Whoa, you won’t even let me speak now? Fine. I’ll shut up. Zip!”
In the end, I really did end up sharing a blanket with my sister.
“Move over a bit. It’s so cramped I’m dying. Your body is stupidly huge.”
“I’m lying here quietly. Why are you yelling at me? You’re the one who keeps squirming. Cold air keeps coming in.”
At first I was nervous, but this was actually way more uncomfortable than I expected. Even the slightest movement made me brush against her. Not that touching her was a problem in itself, but the second it happened, curses flew at me. Accusations of trying to grope her chest, practicing for rape, stuff like that.
If I actually wanted to jump you, I could’ve overpowered someone like you in a second.
She had zero strength but her mouth was unstoppable. Seriously.
“Ugh, fine. Here. I’ll let you use my arm as a pillow, so stop complaining.”
“Why should I sleep on your arm? It’s gross.”
“You keep saying it’s too cramped. What else do you want? If you’re so smart, come up with a better idea.”
“Haah. Seriously.”
In the end, she pulled out the pillow she’d been using, tossed it under the bed, and rested her head on my arm instead.
“It’s hard. Don’t flex.”
Thump. Thump. She kept hitting the back of my arm with her head. I’d flexed my biceps because I wanted to look cool for her, but it seemed uncomfortable. So I relaxed like she told me to.
“Does your arm hurt?”
“It’s fine. Your head is surprisingly light. Is it because there’s nothing in it? Or because your head is so small?”
“Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“Both.”
“Can I insult you back then?”
“That would just be mutual cursing.”
“Yeah.”
“You really need to stop swearing. Why did we even make that bet?”
She subtly curled the arm she was lying on inward. Thanks to that, she ended up pressed even closer against my chest.
“Idiot. Then don’t do things that deserve swearing.”
She was being surprisingly obedient. I wanted to stroke her hair, but if I got greedy now she’d probably get angry again.
“Teasing you is my whole reason for living. How can I stop?”
“What a pathetic life. If the only joy you get is nagging at me, when are you going to die? I’ll hammer the nails into your coffin myself.”
“Nah. I’m going to keep teasing you for the rest of our lives.”
“Who said you could?”
“I did.”
“I should’ve stopped Mom and Dad from having you when I learned to walk.”
“Stopped them from what?”
“From having you, obviously. I should’ve ripped the door off its hinges and told them not to do it that day.”
“That’s basically self-paedophilia, you know. My mom and dad are your mom and dad too.”
She really had a colorful vocabulary when it came to insults. Why didn’t you just bring them a condom back then?
“Or maybe I took all the good genes. You were left with nothing but the weird stuff.”
“Funny. You act like you’re so amazing while writing novels about fucking your little brother.”
“At least I don’t actually think about fucking my brother in real life, unlike you? And weren’t you the one going on about clapping with your balls or whatever?”
“There you go swearing again. What? You don’t like it when I talk about your novels?”
I poked her cheek.
“…I don’t like it.”
“Okay. I won’t do it then. Since our dear author Kang doesn’t like it. Are you thinking about the next chapter?”
“…I’m still thinking.”
“Please know that this reader finds it very entertaining. I’m always cheering you on.”
“Oh, how ~thankful~ I am.”
“I’m being serious.”
“Yeah. I’m genuinely thankful too.”
“Your face says otherwise. Can you really talk to your readers like that? You always say you love them. ‘My beloved readers.’”
“What about you? You think it’s okay to talk to your sister like that?”
“We’re siblings. We can get along nicely.”
“Not when you’re a perverted idiot who gets hard and tries to rub against me.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s all my fault.”
I flopped down beside her.
“Let’s sleep now. We have things to do when we wake up. Dream about me.”
“Don’t dream about me.”
“Too bad. I’m going to dream about you.”
“…Just wait until I catch you washing your panties later.”
“Uh… how did you know about that?”
A chill ran down my spine. I was sure she’d never caught me washing my underwear in front of her before.
“It all comes up if you search. Research for novels.”
“The internet really has ruined kids these days.”
“Look who’s talking, you old fart. You watch all the porn you want.”
“Why did the conversation go there? Then what about you? Don’t you watch porn?”
“I… don’t.”
“Liar. Then how do you write your novels? How does someone who doesn’t even have a boyfriend let her imagination run that wild?”
“I don’t know! If I say I don’t watch it, then I don’t!”
“If you find any good stuff, we can watch it together. Wait, I don’t mean at the same time! Hey! Wait a second!”
She suddenly sat up and started hitting me repeatedly.
“You! To your own sister! There’s nothing you won’t say! What? Watch porn together?”
“I just meant recommend some! Besides, we read your novel together, didn’t we?”
I quickly grabbed the pillow from under my head to block her attacks. Luckily, she stopped after that.
“That and this are completely different.”
“Aren’t they both just arousing in the end?”
“Porn is porn.”
“And your novels?”
“My novels are… novels. Self-realization. Fulfilling literary desires.”
Honestly, just watching and actually writing it were on completely different levels. In my opinion, the latter was way more perverted. If I say that, she’ll just get mad again.
“Sure. If you say so, then that’s what it is.”
“What’s with that reluctant tone, like you’re just humoring me?”
“Must be your imagination. Let’s actually sleep now.”
Once she calmed down, I lay back down too. I needed to get her to sleep before she had another outburst. If we kept bickering like this, we’d be up until dawn.