The Swearing Bet
My sister sets down her chopsticks. The plate is spotless. Seeing her eat so well makes all the effort worth it for the person who cooked.
“Aigoo, our Yunseo. You didn’t leave a single bite and cleaned your plate? What a good girl.”
“Cut the crap.”
Pat pat. The moment I stroke her head, her voice turns rough. Even dogs and cats mellow out when petted by humans, but she shows zero improvement. If anything, she seems to be getting fiercer.
Is my sister trying to keep her distance from me…?
Luckily she doesn’t bite my hand. I was genuinely nervous about rabies.
“Even when I’m complimenting you. Sis~”
“Ugh. Why are you being so gross? Go do the dishes.”
With a sour expression, my sister lets me keep patting her head.
“Stop being so prickly all the time. Your handsome little brother cooked you a delicious meal—don’t I get a reward?”
“Reward? I already gave you one.”
“When?”
Did she secretly send money to my account?
“This.”
She’s really gotten used to flipping me off. Curious what she’d do, I bite down hard on her middle finger.
“Ow! You fucking dirty bastard!”
Instead she just hits me more, pounding my head with her fist. When I quietly let go of her finger, she wipes it on my clothes like it’s filthy.
“Not that! You know what I mean. Like a kiss on the cheek or something.”
“What do you mean ‘or something’? Wait a minute. Come to think of it, all the ingredients and everything were bought with the money I gave you anyway.”
Huh…?
Now that she mentions it, she’s right. I used my card, but the money inside came from the living expenses she provided.
“So you’ve been showing off this whole time using my money? Wow… you really…”
Seeing the disappointed look on her face makes my heart race. I have to recover somehow. I don’t care about other people, but I want my sister’s recognition.
“You shouldn’t put it that way. This pasta contains something that can’t be measured in money—”
Just in case she hits me, I’ll block with both arms first.
“—it’s filled with my love.”
I flash a triumphant wink.
“Yeah, yeah. But what should I do? My little brother’s love is so excessive your sister feels like she’s going to get indigestion. Should I throw it all up and give it back? Blegh~”
Of course, only harsh words come back.
“Hey, sis. Why are you like this? Okay, I won’t mess around. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll go do the dishes now.”
When she pretends to stick her finger down her throat, I quickly stand up. The words that left my mouth were nice, so why does it always turn out like this? Does she have bad luck stuck in her ears or something?
“Hey.”
“I said I wouldn’t mess around. Don’t just sit there—wipe the table at least. It’s where we put food in our mouths.”
As I gather the bowls and head to the sink, my sister calls me.
“Never mind, come here.”
“What now?”
When I approach, she suddenly grabs my collar and—
She presses her lips to my cheek.
Startled, I stare blankly. Gradually, my sister’s face turns red.
“Why? You asked me to.”
“No, I figured it was better to say it first and then do it.”
“Hurry up and finish the dishes. Stop standing in my way.”
“You’re the one sitting still doing nothing but calling me the one in the way.”
Thump thump. As if telling me to shut up already, my sister lightly kicks my butt with her foot. When I glance back, her cheeks are flushed. She seems to regret it and bites her lip hard.
But what can you do? It’s already done.
What should I make next time to make her happy? The pasta’s been used up now.
It’s not like I’m expecting something in return. If my sister likes it, I like it too. That’s really all there is to it. I absolutely did not think about asking for a kiss on the lips instead of the cheek next time. Really.
“Sigh. It’s so fucking slippery. My hands are tingling from washing off all the oil.”
After finishing the dishes I deliberately whine. How many bowls could there be from just the two of us eating? It wasn’t hard at all. I just want to hear her say one word of “good job.”
“Acting all proud after washing two bowls.”
How is it that you always give the exact opposite response I expect?
“What about the frying pan and cutting board? Didn’t you wash those?”
“That would make four.”
“Then why didn’t the amazing you do it yourself instead of just sitting on the sofa flapping your lips?”
“Yeah. Since I’m amazing, the lacking you should do it.”
She never lets me win a single exchange. Annoyed, I wipe the water off roughly and vent my anger by wiping it on her. Of course she hits me, saying why do I only pick things that deserve a beating. That’s extra.
When I sit on the sofa she’s watching TV without even looking at me.
“Either look at your phone or watch TV. Pick one. It’s not like you’re the one paying the utility bills.”
“The house is too quiet.”
“Then talk to me. Play with your cute little brother.”
She’s cursing me with her eyes again.
“Cut the crap. If the dishes are done, run the vacuum. I saw earlier it’s a mess because of hair.”
“That’s all yours. This long one right here.”
“Yeah, yeah. Since it’s your beloved sister’s hair that you love to death, hurry up and clean it, you fucking little brother.”
“……If you compliment me again.”
“Ah, fuck. Seriously. Tone it down a bit.”
“Ah, why are you swearing? Hey. From the beginning I’m doing all the housework alone. Don’t you live in this house too? When two people live together it’s natural to split the chores, yet you don’t lift a single finger.”
You have nothing to say, right? Of course. Even if your mouth is crooked, your words should be straight. Because I was too lenient, she’s grown into a completely lazy bitch.
“……Then how about I give you allowance at least?”
“Suddenly?”
“It’s weird, isn’t it? Giving a kiss as payment for making your brother do chores. It’s like some kind of…… anyway, I don’t like it.”
“Like a whore?”
“You say those words so casually.”
“It’s better than the swearing you do. Our sister. Your mouth is dirty, but your personality is even dirtier—what are we going to do?”
Again. Again. She’s cursing me with her eyes again.
“Or let’s make a bet—who swears more between us.”
“You only do things that deserve swearing. What can I do?”
“Looking at it, you do it like a habit. I don’t care if it’s to me, but if you keep doing that you’ll end up doing it in front of Mom and Dad later.”
Just imagining it is horrible. My sister calling her brother a son of a bitch. Fuck. Spouting vulgarities like a vending machine.
“They’re in a faraway foreign land, you know? Working hard for their children—how heartbroken would they be if they saw you doing that shit right in front of them?”
“……Is it that bad?”
“It is. Fucking bad. Extremely. Severely.”
“See. What about you? You just swore too. You talk like you never do it.”
“This was unavoidable while talking…… Fine. Let’s bet then. From now on, whoever swears more. The loser grants the winner’s wish. How about that?”
“Hey, you……”
“No, what. Are you about to swear again? You only write erotic novels all day so your head is full of nothing but porn. Why are you getting angry first? What do you think I’m going to say?”
“You idiot. It’s obvious what you’d ask from me.”
“Huh? You swore? That counts too?”
“It counts. I’ll get to hit you a few times too.”
“Aigoo, don’t worry at all. I won’t ask for what you’re thinking.”
“Why would I want that? Crazy…… Ah. It’s so frustrating. I feel like my personality will get worse from the stress because of this.”
“Enough. So you can’t claim later that we didn’t, I’ll record from now. Re-cording.”
“……”
“……”
The moment the recording starts, both of us drastically reduce our words. The topic is who swears more, not who talks less.
“Sis.”
Instead of answering, she glances at me.
“No matter what, we have to say what needs to be said. We can’t stay silent in front of our parents later.”
“I’m being quiet because I have nothing to say.”
“Really? Even like this?”
Poke poke. I jabbed her with my finger.
“How’s that? Now that you’ve felt it yourself? This is revenge for you always kicking me with your foot.”
“Stop messing around.”
“I’m not messing around though? It’s aegyo? Sis~ Ah, ah. Hey. Wait. You’re counting hitting as swearing too.”
Anyone watching would think it’s whack-a-mole. I lay my head on her thigh and she pounds me with her fists.
“You were the one who got horny first and started the bullshit.”
“Huh? You swore just now.”
“Ah, this…… Fine. Then you stop messing around. No aegyo allowed.”
“Even though it’s an expression of affection? Full of your little brother’s love?”
“I said no.”
“You can do it too.”
“Do you actually want to die? It’s all only good for you!”
“Okay, okay. I just won’t do it? Fine. I won’t.”
“……”
“……”
Wait. At this rate the sibling conversation stops again.
“Sis.”
“What.”
“When are you writing the next chapter of your novel?”
“……I don’t know. I’m thinking about it.”
Good. Then let’s target this. My sister becomes talkative only when it’s about her writing.
I have to win no matter what.
That way I can make her clean her room. Last time I peeked in it was a total mess of hair and dust. I’m worried she’ll get sick. Even though I want to clean it, she won’t let me enter at all.
“Then are you going to do it now? If the mood went that far the scene should come out soon.”
“Not yet. A bit later.”
“Fuck, why?”
Oops.
“Huh? You swore? You did just now. Right?”
It’s the first time I’ve seen my sister smile so brightly. Just because I swore once, a grin spreads across her lips.
She wants to win that badly.
What on earth is she planning to ask for?
Surely she wouldn’t tell me to go kill myself. Of course not—there’s affection between siblings.
“I only did it once just now.”
“Anyway. Once or twice, you still did it.”
“Be that as it may. The atmosphere was heated up that much—you can’t just skip it.”
“I’ll have to think more while kissing.”
“From what I see it’s fucking obvious stalling. You’re dragging it out on purpose until the next idea comes to you.”
“Again! You did it again!”
Should I just let her win?
My sister is enjoying it way too much.
“Answer my question at least. Look at you, only learning the bad stuff and copying it.”
“It’s not like that. I’ll write it after building the mood more. For that part.”
“The siblings are half-naked calling each other Master, Master—isn’t that enough? It’d be weirder if they didn’t have sex.”
“The brother didn’t undress.”
“But the sister took off her panties. The brother is looking and touching everything.”
“Ah, seriously. So vulgar. Actually…… I’m a little worried too.”
“Why?”
“There’s a reader who always left comments, but starting from the last chapter there’s been nothing. I wonder if I did something wrong.”
Sorry, sis.
They only left stupid comments like that, but still. They were the first to send donations too. Since they’re gone, it feels a bit lonely.
“Well. Maybe they got self-aware because the comments kept coming.”
“But they never missed a single one until now?”
“I don’t know either. They’re probably some fucking idiot anyway. Writing only those pathetic comments.”
“You did it again. Again. You say I swear all the time but you’re doing it more.”
Bringing up the novel was a mistake. It keeps making me swear. No—my sister is liking it this much. Maybe it’s a good thing. No. I don’t even know what she’ll wish for, so why am I already thinking like this? What if she tells me to go drop dead? What then?