Chapter 181
Chapter 181
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Forbidden Softness
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...Rozalin's body was soft in all sorts of ways.
Not just that her skin was smooth or had a nice texture, but in every sense.
There was this maternal quality emanating from her body... a gentle vibe much like what you could sense in her personality....
It started innocently enough—I just lightly placed my hand on her arm or stomach without thinking.
I figured it'd be similar to what I'd felt with Lize or Ashley, but it was different.
Even between those two, there were subtle differences, but this was stark.
"Hoo...."
I'd done something pretty embarrassing last night.
If Rozalin hadn't passed out drunk... I might've gotten an earful, or worse.
That said, it wasn't anything that would've caused a real major issue.
Just touching her body...?
Hugging her—that was it?
"...I'm insane."
This was a whole different issue from the one I'd started pondering recently about viewing that woman rationally.
If anything, it was an even graver problem.
"She was asleep anyway, so she has no idea...."
It was my secret, my personal issue.
Explaining it to Ashley with other examples was one thing—this was entirely different.
No matter how you sliced it....
"...I shouldn't be looking at Rozalin that way."
In my room, alone with no one else around.
Once again, I couldn't stop my thoughts from spiraling.
"Ha."
Rozalin.
She was a different person from my biological mother, the one who'd actually given birth to me in this world.
Thanks to my past life memories and lingering emotions, there were similarities... but objectively, she didn't come across as my mother.
"For starters, our looks are way too different."
Take William and Rozalin.
Blood-related or not.
They both had appearances totally opposite to mine—it was like I'd been adopted or something.
"Haa...."
And our ages were too close, too.
No, even if she were a bit older than she is now, seeing Rozalin purely as a mother figure... would've been tough.
"...My type."
Yeah.
Her looks fit my preferences in every way.
Not just her appearance, but in so many aspects.
"Sheesh...."
Only last night did I finally realize why it'd been so hard dealing with Rozalin since childhood.
I'd never seen her as a mother from the start.
I'd gotten off on the wrong foot entirely.
It was just the most obvious reason imaginable.
"...Hoo."
Men find it uncomfortable, repulsive even.
Which is why, despite spending so much time with girls, I'd been oblivious to it. What an idiot.
Nothing much had changed in how I'd felt around Rozalin from childhood to now.
"...What do I even do about this."
In the end, I was thinking of Rozalin in that direction.
Not as the cheerful family member we laughed and chatted with—but as a romantic interest, a sexual object, something like that.
So, what attitude should I adopt going forward?
This was different from just liking women, hanging out closely with them, and being satisfied with that.
"For one thing, she's a married woman...."
Skipping over the various complications there.
Rozalin was a married woman, after all.
The wife of my biological father, no less.
Sure, William barely set foot in the mansion, and their relationship was purely businesslike.
"They've never even consummated the marriage."
I'd looked into it.
Yeah.
"...My head must be messed up."
...Putting it all together, the conclusion was that Rozalin had never had sex once in her life.
Considering the info I'd gathered before she arrived at the mansion, plus everything after, and other circumstantial evidence.
She never snuck out at night or anything, so... yeah, the verdict was virgin....
*Slap!!*
"...Ow."
I'd slapped my own cheek.
Yeah.
It did snap me back to reality a bit.
Letting weird thoughts keep blooming since last night was a problem.
How I saw Rozalin and the reality of the situation were two different things.
"For starters, there are plenty of women out there...."
Yeah.
I like women, but Rozalin doesn't have to be the one.
She just happens to fit my tastes perfectly... she's just the most beautiful woman I've laid eyes on.
"...Maybe I should just relieve it somehow."
...Ultimately, this boiled down to desire, lust.
Whatever you call it.
I hadn't paid much attention to physical urges because of my lecherous father constantly whoring around outside.
In my past life, it hadn't been an issue... but in this life's childhood, the shock value was real.
Separate from being born as a girl, I'd never done anything like that.
.......
Once or twice wouldn't hurt.
If I didn't, I'd just keep having these weird fantasies about poor Rozalin.
*
.......
Yeah.
In the end, what I'd decided after brooding alone in my room wasn't anything groundbreaking.
"I'll behave until I'm an adult."
No matter what, I wasn't the kind of scum who'd get sexual with girls who weren't even of age.
Even if they consented or whatever nonsense—still not okay.
Coming from a modern, sensible world, I figured you had to be at least 18 or 19, a proper adult, before doing that stuff.
"...Karen's body already looks all grown-up, though."
Anyway, that was the plan: stay pure until then.
Decisions I'd made alone, without telling a soul.
Hanging out as friends with pretty girls like now was fine... but personally, it wouldn't fully satisfy me.
I might be a worse person than I thought.
"...Like father, like daughter?"
My biological dad was a total scumbag in so many ways, after all.
Maybe I'd picked up some of that influence.
"Pfft.... This is ridiculous."
Honestly, having these worries and thoughts really brought me back to earth.
There were other reasons for that comedown, too.
But thanks to it, I could think straight... so, silver lining?
"I'm only 13... around 15 in Korean age."
...Still a long way to adulthood.
"Hoo.... I set the rule myself. Gotta stick to it."
Hold out until adulthood.
No doing anything with anyone else, either.
Absolutely nothing before then.
"...Well, everything except the sexual stuff."
I got up from my seat.
I threw a cardigan over my thin clothes and headed for Ashley's room.
I was bored out of my mind, and after all that heavy soul-searching, stress had piled up.
Teasing Ashley by tickling her seemed like a good way to blow off some steam.
"Camellia?"
"You're awake, perfect. Teacher."
"Uh.... What's up? I taught you all the magic a few days ago... Did Madam ask you to do something...?"
"Hehe, nothing like that."
It was obvious I was just there to play.
Her sensual figure hid a surprisingly innocent side.
Of course, that's part of what made Ashley so charming.
"I've always wondered—you really love your bed, don't you, Teacher?"
"It's comfy."
"Hehe, true that."
"You spend a lot of time lounging in bed too, from what I hear...."
"Oh? You heard that? I figured you wouldn't, since I'm always asleep when you visit."
I kept chatting with Ashley, grinning all the while.
She was lying in bed, covered by the blanket, so her body wasn't fully visible... but it didn't matter.
"Mind if I lie down with you, Teacher?"
"...Huh?"
"Pfft...."
"The bed...? Why...?"
How hilarious was it for her to act this way around a girl a full head shorter than her.
Did she even realize?
If not, that just made it funnier.
"It's annoying talking while you're sitting up like that."
"Then the chair over there...."
"You like lying in bed, Teacher. I'll just lie next to you for a bit. We even shared a bed before, right?"
"Uh...."
Her flustered reaction was priceless.
Maybe because it was different from her usual sleeping pose.
Last time, when I'd slipped into the covers with her while she was asleep, she'd had a cute reaction too.
Ashley sure had a lot of unexpectedly adorable sides.
"Uh...? I haven't said yes ye...."
"Everything in this room—the bed, the blanket—I bought it all for you, didn't I?"
Facts.
Not that it gave me the right to barge in like this.
"It's fine, right?"
"Uh.... Ah.... Um.... Y-Yeah...."
She finally nodded shyly.
Good, that's more like it.
"Hehe...."
In the end, I got to relax in Ashley's bed with her—under the same blanket, no less.
"Eek...."
Was it just me, or...?
Anyway, last night I'd been in Rozalin's bed, and now during the day, Ashley's.
Both comfy beds, but the scents were worlds apart, which was intriguing... and the feel of skin under my hands was totally different too.
"Pfhehe...."
It was great.
Not even anything super lewd or sexual.
Just seeing her react to my antics was so fun.
I couldn't help but feel good.
"Um... Camellia? Why are you hugging me from behind like this...?"
"You're soft like a pillow, Teacher."
"No...."
"I always need something pillow-like to sleep comfortably."
"You're not even sleeping.... Eek...."
"Hehe... Don't like it?"
"Not... exactly."
...Anyway, no real naughty stuff until adulthood.
I could do plenty of that after growing up.
Until then, teasing like this and focusing on business should keep me satisfied.
Probably...?