Chapter 176
Chapter 176
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Persistent Fantasies
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"......."
Chest.
"......."
Waist.
"......."
Hips.
"...The nape of the neck."
...Damn.
It seems my head has definitely gone strange.
No matter that I was a man in my previous life, I'd never thought about a woman's body this obsessively.
"I'm going crazy...."
Ever since that day I bathed with the two of them, weird thoughts had been surfacing in my mind.
It was just a casual shared bath, nothing more, yet stimulating images kept popping up uninvited.
Because they arose without my control, it was troublesome in all sorts of ways.
"Not like some pubescent middle school boy...."
The guilt over these persistent thoughts was a problem, but it wasn't the only one.
Whenever I ran into Lize, Rozalin, or Ashley around the mansion, strange ideas bubbled up before I knew it.
Imagining their bodies beneath their clothes for some reason.
It was really... troublesome.
Every time I crossed paths with the three inside the mansion, thoughts of them naked or other lewd scenarios...
I truly couldn't make sense of it myself.
"Haa.... I'm going crazy."
I'd only had thoughts like this back when Rozalin first arrived and we bathed together for the first time.
I'd never imagined I'd start fantasizing like this about the people in the mansion from then on.
It had been nonstop strange thoughts ever since that day sharing the bath with Rozalin and Lize.
"...Their figures are incredibly pretty, though."
Lize beside me was slender with a stunning body, but the one etched deepest in my mind was none other than Rozalin's figure.
It wasn't just about being lean with curves in the right places.
Starting from her hips, a cinched waist, then contrasting that waist with her heavy... yeah.
And her skin was so flawless that running hands along her body's lines would surely feel soft and silky smooth...
"Ha."
I'm going crazy.
*Knock knock.*
Lying on my bed in exasperated solitude, a knock sounded.
Probably Lize.
She was the only one who ever came to my room at this hour.
"...Come in."
"Young Lady, a gift arrived from one of the business contacts we used to deal with."
"What is it?"
"Um.... It looks like a blanket. They say it's made from expensive materials sourced from the east, but I'm not familiar with it."
...Lize, holding a single blanket.
Normally, I might have chattered curiously about the blanket she was carrying, but...
"Yeah? Well, it looks nice enough. Could you wash it and bring it to my room?"
"Of course. Is there anything else you need? Something to drink, perhaps."
"...Nothing like that, I think."
...With those words, I sent Lize on her way.
Truth be told, the moment she entered my room, I'd started having those weird thoughts about her again, so I had no choice.
"...Ha."
I'm seriously going crazy.
It couldn't just be from bathing together.
If merely seeing their bodies had changed me this much, surely I'd have had these thoughts before.
If there was anything from wandering around that day with even a slight influence... there was hardly anything.
"...Setting the bath aside. Then... the clothing store? No, absolutely not."
There was no way it stemmed from picking out clothes together and seeing various outfits.
That was truly, definitely not it.
"What was it I heard that day...?"
The only thing that seemed like a plausible trigger was something I'd heard.
Some words that acted as the catalyst, turning into this.
The time we'd talked the most that day was undoubtedly... while strolling the streets and market together in the evening?
Excluding that, nothing particular came to mind.
"...Talk about lovers?"
Among the many conversations, Rozalin's words while walking: if I got a lover at the academy, I should tell her.
That was one that stuck from our talks that day.
I hadn't shown it much, but honestly, it hadn't sat well with me after hearing it.
Just the idea of her pairing me off with a man.
Rozalin bringing up something that soured my mood just imagining it.
Setting aside my feelings for Rozalin, naturally I hated hearing talk like that.
To begin with, I like women...?
"...Was that the trigger?"
Hearing all that talk about men?
Subconsciously realizing that I like women?
"...My head hurts."
For real.
*
One silver lining: it wasn't happening with just any woman.
Our mansion had plenty of maids, after all.
Maids in cute maid uniforms, ones who were far from unattractive by any standards.
Yet even so, seeing those maids didn't spark any weird thoughts.
No thoughts at all, really.
"...Hmm."
Well, separately from them being decent-looking, they weren't anywhere near as beautiful as Rozalin, Lize, or Ashley.
Maybe that's why it didn't affect me?
"...What's she doing in my room again...."
"Just dropped by."
...Looking at Ashley right now, comparing her to the maids was impossible.
Even with her hair completely unkempt, she was still pretty...
"Hmm."
"...?"
"Teacher."
"What...?"
I called out to Ashley, and she replied with slightly trembling eyes.
Probably because I'd tickled her so much lately?
Whenever I got bored, I'd head to Ashley's room to tease her and pass the time tickling.
"I have one question. Do you just stay cooped up in the mansion all the time, Teacher?"
"Yeah...?"
"You don't meet other people? Always just inside the mansion?"
"Uh... yeah?"
"Hmm...."
Impressive.
Anyway, there was one reason I was bringing this up with Ashley now.
It was hard to discuss my current mindset with anyone else.
Lize and Rozalin were... too close, and Ashley was even older than Rozalin.
I figured I might get some solid advice on the situation.
"So, no plans to make a boyfriend or lover or anything?"
"...Too bothersome."
"Wait, don't tell me you actually like women instead of men? You always hand off work to the maids here in the mansion...."
"No, I just have no interest."
"Pff... I'm kidding."
It was a joke, after all.
Normal people were attracted to the opposite sex by default.
"Why the sudden joke...."
"Teacher."
"What now...?"
How should I bring this up?
I'd come to Ashley for advice on my situation, but spilling everything completely could be problematic.
What if she casually told Rozalin what I said...?
That made me hesitate to speak.
"...You know I'm attending the academy, right?"
"Yeah."
"And I spend a ton of time hanging out with friends during that?"
"...So?"
I'd decided against citing Rozalin or Lize as examples.
Ashley was one of the pretty women right here in the mansion, so it felt awkward.
"Sometimes we hang out in the dorm rooms, even sleep in the same room...."
Well, I'd never actually slept in the same dorm room as friends.
The only times with friends were during trips; otherwise, it was just with Lize.
I deliberately used examples of people not in the mansion.
"And sometimes we bathe together, but every time, my eyes keep drifting to my friends' bodies."
"...Drifting?"
"Yeah, unconsciously all the time... So, this has to be kinda weird, right?"
"Uh...."
Ashley's slightly flustered reaction.
She clearly hadn't expected me to bring up something like this.
The specifics were off, but it wasn't entirely untrue.
If anything, it was my exact dilemma with the characters swapped.
"I've never had those thoughts about guys. But with girls, every time... it has to be weird, right?"
Yeah.
I knew it wasn't normal.
Separate from my past life as a man, I was living as a woman now.
"Tha... um...."
"It's fine, just talk normally."
"...It's not common...?"
Exactly.
It wasn't something commonplace, as I well knew.
Talk of same-sex attraction carried a strong taboo, and most people would struggle to accept it casually.
"But... couldn't it happen? Seeing someone else's body—especially a different gender's—isn't exactly everyday either...."
Unlike her usual drowsy drawl, Ashley spoke to me in a serious tone, devoid of sleepiness.
Even for someone who spent most days sleeping and hated moving, she was putting real effort into this.
It made me a little grateful.
My head had been hurting over this whole mess, so I'd come barging in impulsively.
I hadn't expected this kind of response.
"You see all kinds of weirdos in the Magic Tower... some women even get turned on while developing spells...."
She really was a teacher through and through.
Even if she slacked off at work, I felt it anew.
"Feeling attracted to women... probably isn't a big deal...? And if the other person consents, you could just date normally or whatever...?"
"Hmm...."
"Besides... Teacher isn't like that...?"
"...I haven't told Teacher anything...?"
"Ah."
...
Well.
I'd suddenly hit her with a student confessing attraction to the same sex.
Her reaction wasn't incomprehensible.
That aside, I suddenly felt the urge to tease her.
Separate from my earnest agonizing and headaches... like Ashley said, as long as there was consent, it really was no problem...?
Not me, but the adult Ashley herself had said it was fine....
"......."
No problem, right?