Chapter 169
Chapter 169
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Vacation Reflections
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Vacation had brought me back to the mansion, but honestly, nothing major had happened.
I had returned, that's all.
The mansion was running as ordinarily as ever.
Rozalin was assigning tasks to the servants just like always, and Ashley was getting up midway to handle some chores with magic....
It was just that kind of daily routine continuing on.
"Hmm...."
Amid that everyday life, I'd recently fallen into a bit of悩み.
It was honestly ridiculous.
But that didn't make it not a悩み.
"Sigh...."
It was exactly the same as when I'd left for the academy—no real changes at all.
A few months had passed, but the people around me hadn't transformed dramatically; it felt no different from before.
Yet somehow, it was a little... different, I suppose?
No, rather than different, maybe it was that an old thought had grown, matured...?
"...Ha."
Both back then and now, the subject of my悩み was ultimately one person.
It was laughable even to me, but it really came up so often I couldn't help it.
Truly....
"...Honestly, isn't it too hard to see a woman seven years older as a mother?"
It felt unfair.
I'd tried my best to view Rozalin as a mother, as one of my parents, but it just wasn't easy.
Of course, Rozalin wasn't bad—in fact, as a stepmother, I could deeply feel how much she cherished me.
But even so, the real issue was....
"It's me."
...Well, it was mostly my fault.
If I just properly recognized Rozalin as such, that would solve it.
The fact that I couldn't was the real problem.
"If only I had no memories of my past life."
It was a what-if, but if that were the case... what would be different?
If there were no memories or sensations of having been a man.
If I had no recollection or experience of living as an adult at all, would it have been okay instead?
"...But somehow, I doubt it."
Our family history was complicated in many ways.
My birth mother died shortly after I was born, the stepmother ran away....
And my father, William....
"Hmm. Right now is still the best."
Separate from not being able to think of Rozalin as a mother, the two of us actually got along better than expected.
Even without being blood mother and child... we definitely got along well.
"...It's nice."
Personally, spending time with a beauty like Rozalin was obviously welcome.
I'd always liked pretty things to begin with.
That was a solid preference even in my past life.
I definitely showed a lot of interest in pretty, beautiful things in general—I'd even linger in front of jewelry stores....
"I never bought any back then, though?"
Probably because I couldn't afford them in my past life.
So maybe that's why, in this life, I felt more interest and possessiveness toward such things than before?
That was one theory I had.
"Pfft...."
How did thoughts of it being hard to treat Rozalin like a mom lead me here?
Ridiculous.
*
"Lize."
"Yes, Young Lady."
After mulling over useless thoughts alone in my room, I stepped out.
Not for any particular reason—just that spending more time like that felt kind of foolish?
So I'd come out for a change of mood, nothing more.
"What are you up to?"
"I finished cleaning the hallway and was preparing to clean your room, Young Lady."
"Hmm.... Really?"
Perfect timing.
I was bored and wondering what to do next anyway.
"Then shall we head into the room?"
"Yes."
With that, Lize and I entered my room.
It was a bit absurd—I'd just come out, and now we were going right back in.
But Rozalin was working at this hour anyway.
And I'd already teased Ashley plenty last night... no choice.
"What were you doing, Young Lady?"
"Just lying around rolling on the bed by myself?"
"Ah...."
It sounded utterly mundane, but honestly, I had nothing else.
I could put off business documents for later, and aside from that, I had no hobbies.
Besides, telling Lize about the thoughts I'd just had wasn't quite right.
So this was my helpless response.
"What cleaning did you have in mind? Just a quick dust-off should do it?"
"We finished the initial room cleaning before we arrived... so there probably isn't much left. Just tidying trash, dusting... that sort of thing."
"Ah...."
In other words, nothing major.
No need to start scrubbing right away.
Lize usually saved my room for last anyway.
She cleaned with the other maids, did the hallway outside my room, then my room.
After that, she just followed me around as my maid.
So basically, nothing else after this.
"Lize, Lize."
"Yes, Young Lady. Do you need something, by any chance?"
Lize turned toward me as she replied.
Gazing at her, I sat on the bed and.
*Tap tap.*
"Come up."
"........"
I lightly patted the spot next to where I sat, instructing Lize to join me.
Deep down, I wanted her right on my lap....
But Lize was taller than me?
With Ella or Grace, it might've worked, but putting Lize on my lap? No way.
"...Is something the matter? Do you have another favor to ask...."
"Nah, just bored? Haven't done anything since coming home from the academy. Called you 'cause I'm bored."
"Is that so?"
Maybe because Lize was used to my antics by now?
She took it more calmly than expected.
Honestly, I personally quite liked seeing Lize get accustomed to this.
Back then, she'd blush and flee every time from embarrassment.
"Pfft...."
"Why are you laughing...? Is something wrong...."
Of course, she was still Lize, even if improved from before.
Just sitting beside me, her shyness showed in her expression, reaction, gaze— so very Lize.
"Just 'cause you're cute. Anyway, how's it feel being back at the mansion? You must've reunited with the others after so long."
I leaned lightly on Lize's shoulder as I asked.
For me, it was just Rozalin and Ashley, but Lize had some rapport with the other maids, right?
I was simply curious about Lize's life when she wasn't around me.
"Hmm.... Nothing much has changed. There are many maids working in the mansion, but we're not that close...."
"Yeah?"
"Yes, just some camaraderie from me helping out when I had time."
"I see...."
I didn't know much about how the maids spent their days.
I knew Lize's routine well, but that was separate.
Mainly because I wasn't close to any of them to begin with.
Anyway, I'd assumed Lize got along quite well with the other maids, but apparently not entirely.
Though it wasn't some huge surprise.
"Hmm...."
Maybe because I'd spent the morning fixated on thoughts of Rozalin?
It hit me that Lize was older than me too.
Well, "older" by just two years—a tiny bit—but still older.
"Hmm."
Noble young ladies typically had maids older than themselves.
That's why Lize was my maid....
And so she'd served me since I was really young.
"Hmm...."
"Young Lady...? Is something wrong? You've been staring like that...."
"Does Lize see me as a little sister?"
"...Pardon?"
Lize made a face like I'd said something weird.
Well, it was a bit of an odd question.
But no matter how I looked at it, despite Lize being older, she didn't give off a big-sister vibe.
It was similar to how Rozalin was technically a stepmother but didn't feel like a real mother.
Though not to the same degree as with Rozalin.
"You're older than me, right? Just curious."
"Hmm...."
"Feel free to answer honestly."
"I've never... thought of you as a little sister, Young Lady."
"Pfft.... Really?"
"Yes. You've been so clever since you were little. Hard to see you that way."
Fair enough.
I definitely hadn't acted like a typical kid my age from the start.
William assigning tutors nonstop helped a lot, but even aside from that, I really hadn't felt like a normal child.
Even I thought so, so to others... it must've been even more pronounced?
"And you've been so pretty since you were little... more like a doll than a sister...."
"A doll?"
"...Yes."
A somewhat unexpected answer.
I knew I was pretty, but I hadn't anticipated this from Lize.
She blushed a little, perhaps embarrassed by her own words....
"Nice compliment to hear?"
"Really...? If it displeased you...."
"No. Calling someone a doll usually means they're that pretty and cute, right? Of course it's good."
Unexpected, sure.
But above all, Lize would never say anything bad about me.
So I took it positively.
"And since your build is small.... Every time I assisted with baths, I worried you'd get hurt...."
"Eh...."
"You were weaker than me too.... I had to handle you like a real doll...."
"Uh...."
It wasn't incomprehensible, but the follow-up caught me off guard.
I'd taken "doll" purely as a looks compliment, but it wasn't just that.
This... even I hadn't predicted it.