The Weight of a Choice
I knew it wouldn't be anything simple. The letter Hazel had handed me contained an invitation to a meal, complete with a specific time and place. It was, for all intents and purposes, a summons. Me, having a meal alone with Meredith? Why on earth would an event like this even happen? I knew it wouldn't be anything good, but I still went looking for a clean set of clothes. The designated location was a rather upscale restaurant. I hadn't been there myself, but you can tell a lot just by the address. You don't walk into a high-end establishment wearing dusty tracksuits. I found the neatest clothes I owned and put them on. I knew it wouldn't be anything good, but just in case, I packed a handkerchief and even dabbed on some cologne. Hazel had clutched her nose and run off into the distance. Is it hard for beastkin to handle strong scents? I’ll have to be more careful when we go out together in the future.
And Meredith, the moment she finished ordering the food, brought it up. "Hazel, you said she's a slave, right?" I hadn't expected her to come at me like that. "Slave? What are you talking about..." "Don't try to deny it. I saw it with my own eyes." So you went and saw it for yourself, did you? When it comes to the subject of Hazel, I have no excuses, even if I had ten mouths to speak with. I, myself, think it was something I shouldn't have done in the first place. But time can't be turned back. It’s a topic that can’t be resolved no matter what I say now. It would only hurt each other's feelings.
"That's right. Hazel is someone I bought from a slave trader. I regret it too; I was temporarily out of my mind back then..." I took a moment to catch my breath. Meredith didn't even blink. "Remember? Onyxia. It was something I did in a fit of rage after being deceived by that demon. I thought I needed a companion who would never betray me..." "Betrayal?" *Thump.* I heard the sound of her lightly striking the table. The water in the glass rippled. "This is betrayal." Meredith said that and caught her breath. "What you did... is also betrayal." The corners of her eyes were trembling. The tear mole beneath her eye looked as if it might fall off at any moment. "...Saying this now doesn't change anything, does it?" "At least you could let her go." "Let her go?" "The Academy, I mean."
The Academy? "...You didn't know?" Meredith covered her face with her hands. "Ah... Hazel..." A mutter leaked out from between her hands. "Meredith, the Academy?" "I asked her before. If she wouldn't like to come to the Academy. You must know, too, that the child has talent." "...That's the first I've heard of it." "Yeah... she's that kind of child... Look, Jiun. Can't you just let Hazel go?" Meredith lightly flicked her finger against the metal glass. A clear *ting* rang out.
"She’s not a talent meant to rot away here. She’s a true genius who makes someone like me look like a 'nobody.' Over this summer, she learned everything that takes a year to learn at the Academy." I know. Intelligence 18. That’s why I bought Hazel. But Meredith had offered for Hazel to enroll in the Academy? Why didn't I know about this? "Meredith, why didn't you tell me?" "...About what?" "The Academy." "I thought Hazel would discuss it with you." "...Hazel isn't my guardian. I am Hazel's guardian." My voice cracked. "I was bled dry of every cent I had by Onyxia. I scraped together every coin I earned that day to buy Hazel. Even though I entrusted her to Ameryel, I sent money regularly. You know that hiring you isn't an amount a mere adventurer can easily afford." Meredith nodded quietly.
"She was a child who was going to die! She was just trapped in a cage, waiting for the day she'd die! If I hadn't bought her, by now..." My throat tightened. I was thirsty, but I felt like I couldn't even swallow a drop of water. "I saved a child like that, struggled to earn enough for the day to add to her book fund, gave her a name, worked another day to pay for your tutoring fees, and worked another day... I'm not a bad person, am I? I did enough by picking up someone who had fallen; I shouldn't be cursed for not giving them a ride in a carriage, too." Hazel is my slave. "I'm not... Hazel's slave."
A silence flowed for a moment. The waiter, who had been watching from the side, brought out the dishes. Plate after plate was set down. Freshwater fish grilled with butter and roasted vegetables. A few thin slices of cheese, honey-soaked apples, and a bottle of wine. The waiter poured the wine into the glasses and retreated as if fleeing. I wouldn't want to stay in this atmosphere for long either. "Hazel is my family. The only family I have in this world. There's no Onyxia, and there's no Ameryel. The only person I can lean on is Hazel..." As I reached the end, my energy drained, and my voice grew smaller. I lifted my glass. Meredith also hesitated before lifting hers. The metal glasses collided with a dull thud. I must have bumped them wrong. It was white wine. My lips were parched, and as soon as they touched the wine, I felt them loosen. It burned. It felt as if I had drunk the wine with my lips. It was a wine with little sweetness. "Is this your taste?" "...Yes." "I see." So this is your taste. You've eaten enough to be able to pick out your preferences. I scanned the plates. It was a meal I could only afford to eat on special occasions with my current circumstances. I felt a sense of self-loathing. A terrible sense of self-loathing. The Academy talk—why didn't she bring it up to me? Did she not trust me? Or did it look like I would try to bind her if she brought it up? Like a slave? My mind wouldn't settle, so my thoughts kept drifting toward the dark side.
"Now that I hear it, I was too harsh. I'm sorry." Meredith said after taking a sip of wine. Her voice was calm, unlike before. "Still... the Mana Nerve Engraving was too much. You must have done it knowing she had talent for magic." She was right. I was afraid that if she gained the power of magic, she would become uncontrollable. I didn't know anything about Hazel back then. "Because of that, the child is in so much pain right now... What's with that look? You didn't know this either?" What is that supposed to mean? "As a side effect of the engraving, Hazel is in a state where casting spells itself is painful. She's in such pain just casting level 0 spells now, so the higher her rank goes..." "I didn't know... I couldn't even guess. I saw her using various spells to practice..." "She must have endured it. That's the kind of child she is." "If she goes to the Academy, can she get better?" "She could try her best. And I, I will do my best to find a way."
Meredith's eyes, as she said that, seemed to be burning. She is a person like the sun. Even though her hair color is the color of water. She is a fierce person, even with a tear mole, and yet, she is a warm person. Is it right for me to keep Hazel? Wouldn't it be more helpful to Hazel to just entrust her to Meredith? After stealing half of the child's talent as a mage, do I have the qualifications to keep her by my side and raise her as a mage? And I'm ignorant about magic, too. I couldn't even distinguish between a *Light Creation* scroll and a *Magic Missile* scroll. Was I just trusting in the ability of a measly character sheet? Was I believing that with just that, Hazel would grow into an Archmage on her own?
"Meredith." "Why." "Hazel, would it be better for her to go to the Academy?" "Is that even a question? ...I wanted to say that, but now, I don't know either." "What?" "When I first saw your stupid face coming in, I thought so, but after hearing your story, I've become unsure." She continued speaking while carving into the fish, which had gone cold and soggy. "Hazel must think of you as family, right? Would she be happy if she were taken away from that family? I don't know. It's such a difficult problem. This situation itself is difficult, but the most difficult thing is Hazel herself. I can't think of her as a child at all. Sometimes she seems more like an adult than I am. Even if she doesn't talk much, her actions are like that." Meredith stopped moving her cutlery. She wasn't removing fish bones; she had turned it into a mush. After that, a silent meal followed. Even cold, the food was delicious. But I missed a bowl of stew shared with Hazel. Hazel, what should I do with you? Should I keep you by my side? Should I let you go? No answer came. I took my anger out on the innocent fish, stabbing at it. The fish on my plate was soon shredded, just like the one on Meredith's plate.
Since I have to ride in a carriage, I should pack a canteen and the sunflower seeds Madam gave me. It was truly fortunate that both of us were free on the day of the festival. I had even done thorough information gathering, so it would be such a sad thing if the schedules didn't align and it all fell apart. I was in such a good mood that I started humming. It was a song I had been deeply into back on Earth. Are the two of them in the middle of their meal by now? What are they talking about? There wouldn't be much to say about the slave engraving. Perhaps they are clearing up misunderstandings and their relationship is progressing in a good direction. The protagonist is a bit of a novice, and Meredith has a straightforward personality. Hmm, if Meredith pushes, maybe that will happen? Was I too focused on my thoughts? Before I knew it, my hands had stopped. The humming I was doing had stopped as well.