What Is Pure Love?

"Wow, Maestro, you're a complete villain!"

"...Didn't we know that from the start?"

"And look how pathetic you look on top of it."

"..."

I lounged in the dorm, a doll seated on my knee, shooting the breeze at the television. The goal...? Well. Teabagging, basically.

All they were showing was footage of her getting wrecked, while the ones who'd taken her down kept getting praised to the heavens. Even a villain wouldn't feel great about that — but I thought it was hilarious.

So... if you were wondering why she was stuck to me right now... it was because we still needed Maestro.

Tarkan and Arhan were nearly impossible to subdue, but Maestro, once you cleared her boss fight, turned into a pathetic squishy little doll you could bring on as an ally. Of course, there was still a procedure left to handle...

Anyway. The news wouldn't stop covering Maestro's subjugation and the students' heroic tale. The deaths of high-ranking Kingdom officials had been carefully papered over as ordinary tourists. It was painfully obvious they figured the truth getting out would put them at a disadvantage in their clash with the corporations, so they were trying to divert the public's gaze.

"Oh my, they're witch-hunting her like that?"

And just like that, the press wheeled around and started slinging negative attacks at the corporate side. If you actually thought about it, the Holy Knight Commander didn't even have any particular ties to the Kingdom, and Tersia was on adversarial terms with them if anything. Most likely a scheme by the Kingdom to pin the blame on them somehow just for having been there, and seize the initiative.

"She's fiery, I'll give her that."

Tersia, for her part, stepped up like she didn't have a shred of fault in the matter. A different flavor of confidence from Arkhis, I suppose.

And so the news was busy with everyone going at each other's throats...

"Let's watch a cooking show instead of this. We have to cook something new for the others, after all."

"Hnn..."

Well, the adult world is filthy. Pure Academy students like us should watch something wholesome.

"Oh my? Mixing leftover bean sprout soup with kimchi stew and making it delicious... should we mix-and-match our leftover side dishes too?"

"...No."

I kept up a steady stream of chatter, using the unimpressed black-haired, red-eyed beauty as my conversation partner.

"...So? What are we doing today?"

"First we'll use the 5-star pickup exchange ticket, do our Breakthroughs too... and we have to write an incident report for the professor."

"Haa, that's a lot to do..."

"Originally we were supposed to give a full statement of everything that happened the moment we got off the cruise. I deliberately stalled by throwing a meat party."

His brief rest over, Jinwoo sounded as drained as an office worker staring down a case of the Monday blues. I understood, honestly. He'd thought it was a simple missing-persons case, and then a boss fight had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠dropped on our heads out of nowhere. He had to be exhausted.

"Hang in there~ You can do it!"

"Nnh..."

Even so, his slumped figure looked so pitiful that I worked his shoulders with both hands. His muscles were pretty stiff... even with me kneading away, they stayed pretty knotted.

"I'm here, you know. If anything's hard, just tell me."

"Thanks..."

Hmm. How do I put this. The whole situation had this vibe of a wife cheering on her husband as he headed out for the morning commute.

...That's just me getting carried away, I'm sure.

"Let's head to the altar first!"

"Yeah!"

Before I knew it, my massage had him sitting up ramrod-straight and overflowing with energy. Together, we set off for the altar.

"You're here?"

And there was Labi, decorating the altar with wooden dolls one by one. Wearing a tailcoat she'd brought from who-knows-where, to boot.

"Do you decorate for every pickup?"

"Ahem! Decorating the pickup banner is extremely important! You have no idea how much the user reaction changes based on every single font!"

"...True. That time they put up an event banner in Gothic font, the game almost actually died."

"Please don't bring that up..."

Genesis never caught a break. In the early days it was basically a glorified pile of code passing itself off as a game, so recommended posts roasting the staff went up on the community boards on a regular basis. And it wasn't uncommon for the mods who tried to clamp down on it to get their heads mounted on pikes, so to speak.

"A-anyway! This pickup is a huge, huge, huuuge~!!! 5-Star Maestro!! A limited character with the first-ever summoner mechanic, AND she's a Dark-attribute DPS? Plus a former enemy joining the party?! I can't not pull for this!"

"Hmm..."

Let's see. Before we pull, a look at our party composition.

"We might actually need this pickup character..."

"Right? Right?"

Building a focused four-person party like the in-game system would be ideal, but... this was reality now. Having extra comrades was better if you could afford it.

Even exploiting an elemental weakness only amounted to a 10% damage difference... but later on, that 10% would become a big deal, so while it might not matter in the early game, we needed to prepare for the late game.

"Maestro's a decent DPS. Someone even said she's a character you'd use until the servers shut down, right?"

"That sounds like a flag."

Anyway, we'd checked the party and everything else, so it seemed fine to go ahead and pull.

"Let's just use the pickup guarantee ticket here and bounce. We'll hold onto the diamonds for now."

"Yeah!"

With Jinwoo's agreement, I climbed onto the altar... picked up Labi and the orb, and hurled them both.

"HWAAAAAAAGH!!!!"

KRA-KOOOOOM!!!!

Well, I didn't technically have to throw her. But if I didn't at least show this much "affection," I got this feeling like thorns were sprouting on my tongue.

VMMMMMMMM!!!!

Light coiled around the altar, and the summoning animation began. The 5-star guaranteed cutscene kicked in at once, light spilling out...

And then, a girl descended from the sky, light as a feather, and finally revealed herself.

Fwoosh!

"...We just met earlier. Do we really have to do it this way?"

A stunningly beautiful girl with cold red eyes stroked the doll in her hands, glaring at us like we'd soured her mood.

"Selling a story villain in the gacha is a time-honored tradition. No matter how important a character is, if you can't pull them, they're a pie in the sky you never get to fight alongside, you know?"

"Hmph..."

"Hehe, I didn't get stepped on today..."

Well, it wasn't exactly news. This, too, was surely the developers' intent — that 5-star companions had to be obtained from the gacha, no exceptions.

...Though it was a little awkward that they still showed up in the story even if you never pulled them.

Squelch...

"Hweghhh?! Why!!"

Apparently the angel in front of her didn't sit well, because Maestro daintily stomped on her as she walked past.

"I don't like you. A heart-stealing gnat like you."

"Excuse me?!"

Labi, now sporting a footprint in her white hair, snarled and started bickering with her.

"...Grab her, Maestro."

Grab!

"Hweghh?!"

Weakened or not, Maestro had been a proper executive. She manipulated her wooden marionette and subdued Labi with ease. Well, she had her pride too. She probably wanted to settle the pecking order.

"...Would you like to become a real doll?"

"Nh..?!"

But that was that, and this was this. A criminal due to serve in the Penal Battalion dared to pick on our cute little mascot?

"You haven't forgotten, have you? We all nearly died because of you. A traitor like you steps ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠out of line, and I'll remodel you into a real doll and sell you off to some very strange places."

"..."

"Heheh. You're pretty cute, so demand would be enormous."

"F-fine. I just won't do it, okay..."

In the end she dropped her gaze, mumbling, and gave a reluctant nod.

Okay. Discipline successfully enforced.

Unlike the original story's pushover of a protagonist — a total sweet potato of a doormat — I wasn't going to let a villain slide with a slap on the wrist. I was going to launder this one thoroughly.

My laundering method was: beat 'em a few times with a club, scrub 'em until they foamed, spin 'em through the washer a few cycles, then leave 'em out in the sun until they were withered dry.

...That usually got them to repent, physically and spiritually.

"I... I'm sorry."

"Ah, right! From now on, I won't call you Maestro. I'll call you Mae-chan."

"..."

Even that look of pure resentment on her face was unbearably cute. Vicious loli characters really do get cuter the more you bully them.

"Answer."

"Y... yes..."

"While you're at it, could you pinch your skirt with both hands and bow your head like a proper lady?"

"Nnh..."

I guess that's a beautiful girl for you. Watching her do as she was told with a face full of pure grievance was rather entertaining.

"I hear you're quite fond of pure love. What do you think of incestuous pure love, and gender-bender pure love?"

"...As long as they truly love each other, that's enough. Sisters, mother and daughter, even if one of them used to be a man — I love all sincere love."

Mm-hmm. I'd asked something I'd been curious about, just in case, and that was a very Maestro-the-Guardian-of-Pure-Love answer.

She was quite popular thanks to her cute character design and the pure-love concept. Popular enough that she'd carved out a niche as the seasoning character in doujinshi, either declaring, "Now THIS is pure love," or crying out, "This is NOT pure love!"

Now then... how far could she take it before she snapped?

"Say, Mae. You'd consider NTR pure love and harem pure love to be pure love too, right?"

"You son of a—"

Ah. She'd already blown a fuse. A bit early, but I should probably stop teasing her here.

"YOU!!! YOU... GET OVER HERE!!!!! I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"Haha! Think you can catch me?!"

She foamed at the mouth and charged like a demon, and I flinched in spite of myself.

...Okay, that's a little scary.

Anyway!

"Childhood-friend pure love — and a golden sunshine guy crashes in!!! Yuri pure love — and a man crashes in!! Sibling-incest pure love — and suddenly the older sister's ex-boyfriend...!!"

As expected.

Trolling really is the best...!