Friends Don't Do This
“Put a morning-after pill on your tongue and feed it to me with a kiss….”
A brief silence.
In the corner of the dark studio apartment complex, amidst the stillness where only Iseo’s heavy, ragged breathing could be heard, my thoughts organized themselves in an instant.
The bizarre scene at the pub.
And the Emergency Disaster Text.
The reason Jo Iseo was acting like this.
Today, the world had broken.
It meant that the society and the Iseo I once knew no longer existed.
My answer to her words was:
“……You’re very drunk. Go inside.”
I pushed her shoulders away, calm but cautious.
At the same time, I turned my back without a shred of lingering attachment.
‘You crazy bastard…. You’re throwing away a once-in-a-millennium opportunity… Should I just cave in now? Should I just close my eyes and say let’s do it once…?’
In truth, I was overflowing with regret.
How could a man in his early twenties easily refuse sex with a woman who was being considered as a university promotional model? No, how could that even make sense?
‘No, this could be a test. She’s definitely trying to test me, the last remaining male friend she has.’
My low self-esteem—or more accurately, the self-esteem that plummeted whenever I stood in front of Iseo—hurried my steps.
Just then.
Thud.
The sound of something collapsing to the ground.
“……?!”
When I turned around, Iseo had slumped over as if she had tripped.
“Hey…! Hey, Jo Iseo…!”
I ran over and shook her shoulders, but Iseo remained limp and didn’t open her eyes.
“Ugh…!”
Just as I was about to hoist her onto my back and call 119.
“Ugh… the world is spinnin’…”
“…….”
The drunken rambling heard over my shoulder.
“There’s no one more of a pain in the ass than this….”
I had no choice but to take her inside her home.
Beep!
“Press the security button… then the guard button… 03287 and the star.”
As I stood in front of the communal entrance and reached for the door lock, Iseo recited the password before I could even ask.
“What unit.”
“502….”
‘She answers well enough.’
Was she the type to find her way home no matter how drunk she was? If I had known this, I wouldn’t have brought her home in the first place.
“Zero-eight-nine-two… and the star.”
Even her own front door password. Thanks to her cooperation, I was able to reach her room safely.
Flump.
“Ha… just you wait until tomorrow….”
I dumped Iseo on the bed and looked around the room, pretending not to care.
Since it was a girl’s room, I expected it to be filled with pink and smell like flowers, but the only difference from my room was—
Clatter.
A few pieces of clothing on the floor that caught my feet every time I walked. And a vanity that looked like a war had broken out on it. It would have been better not to see these things.
Just as I was heading to the entrance to get out quickly, fearing something else might happen.
“There’s nothing to drink, but should I give you some water?”
Iseo’s voice from behind my back.
And with perfectly clear pronunciation and steady breathing, at that.
“Hey, you were clearly wasted just a second ago…”
“What are you saying? I told you. I said I’m fine even if I drink all the alcohol back there, didn’t I? Here.”
Iseo said, shamelessly handing me a cup of water.
I’d been fooled again.
Not by her looks this time, but by pure acting ability.
“Ah, refreshing…! Oh, do you want to wash up first?”
“Seriously, since a while ago…”
“If you don’t want to, I’ll wash up first.”
Whoosh.
“……?!”
When did she even take off her pants? Iseo, in just her panties, pulled off her T-shirt.
“Hey, hey…! Wait!”
“Why?”
I stopped Iseo before something bigger could happen. If I left her alone, she looked ready to take off her underwear too.
“Why are you taking your clothes off all of a sudden…”
“Oh, what. Do you like doing it without washing? Then—”
“No, that’s not it…!”
There was no getting through to her.
Since a more difficult situation would arise if I got swept up in this too, I forced my gaze away and sat on the bed.
“Just sit down for a second. Let’s talk.”
As I patted the blanket, Iseo tilted her head and reluctantly approached.
Thump.
“……Why are you sitting there.”
“Because this is closest to your dick?”
Ignoring the perfectly good bed, Iseo sat on the floor, burying her head right between my legs. Well, at least she was sitting.
Sniff, sniff.
“Haaa… sniff, dick smell….”
“Stop saying weird things…!”
Before we could even start a proper conversation, Iseo buried her nose in my crotch. While she was out of her mind, I took out my phone just in case. I had to check the news.
Sure enough, the world had truly gone to shit.
“……We’re fucked.”
“What? You’re hard? Then it’ll be tough, so I’ll…”
I pushed away Jo Iseo’s forehead as she scrambled to unzip my pants.
My head was throbbing. What on earth had I lived my life for until now? I hadn’t exactly considered premarital abstinence, but at least the sex I imagined was…
“I heard holding in cum is bad for your prostate! Since it’s an emergency, I’ll take one load with my mouth first… and then after I clean out the semen pooled inside the foreskin with a thorough cleaning-blowjob…”
At least it wasn’t this….
The sexual relationship I had longed for was a process of slowly enjoying each other in a clean bedroom, with a single dim light on, aroma incense burning… and ‘music to listen to during sex’ playing in the background….
“Why—! Why do you keep pushing me away—!”
Iseo, who had been flailing her arms after being pushed away by me, stood up, fuming.
Fine. Let’s concede a hundred times that this world has become a place where ‘sex is easy,’ like some kind of planned adult video.
Even so, I couldn’t accept such words coming out of the mouth of Iseo, who was a total tomboy aside from her looks.
“What kind of adult videos do you watch in your spare time…?”
“Huh? I don’t watch stuff like that?”
Then, Iseo turned on the computer that had been in sleep mode.
“Female-oriented adult videos are so lame. Do you think I’d even get wet watching that crap?”
“…….”
What appeared on the monitor was a Japanese manga site ending in ‘la,’ which I had entered out of curiosity only to be horrified and leave.
“Hmm, my taste here is…”
“Stop. I get it. I don’t want to go any deeper.”
After seeing the source of that insane sexual orientation, Iseo’s words and actions made sense.
“Then let’s do it now! How long are you going to stall, you’re not a girl!”
“Haa…….”
I sighed and beckoned with my hand, and Iseo came back quietly and buried her head between my legs.
“Whew… I wonder if there’s a candle that smells like aged dick….”
“What is your reason for doing this with me?”
Iseo, who had been rubbing her face over my crotch, looked up with messy hair.
“Just because?”
“……That’s it?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have any guys I’m talking to. And doing it with just anyone… ugh, what if I catch a disease? It’s not like I’m a whore.”
Who knew it would be this hard to talk about common sense in an insane world.
After organizing my thoughts so that even the out-of-her-mind Iseo could understand, I opened my mouth again.
“So… even if you say that, I don’t understand.”
“I told you before. I said there are no male friends left, didn’t I? I was horny from drinking. I wanted to try sex too. And you’re happy to lose your virginity, right? Especially with a virgin as pretty as me—❤︎”
Iseo giggled and tickled the front of my pants with the tip of her index finger.
“……So. That’s it? You wanted to do it, there were no men around, and I just happened to be there?”
“Well, I guess so?”
I was speechless for a moment. My twenty-year-old romantic ideal was nothing more than a passing whim to Iseo.
“So hurry up and take it off! It’s frustrating as hell. Or should I just take it by force?! If I get on top first, you’re dead. Whether you go soft after cumming or not, I’m going to hold onto you tight with my pussy and fuck you all night long…”
No further conversation was needed.
Seeing the expectant look on her face as I stood up, I averted my gaze from Iseo and headed for the entrance.
“Huh…? Hey…! Hey, Park Yujun! Where are you going!”
“I have to go home now too. I brought you here.”
“That’s not it, sex, sex—!”
Instead of answering, I shoved my feet into my shoes.
Just then, Iseo ran over and blocked the door.
“What are you doing? Move. I’m tired.”
At my words, Iseo kept her head bowed and didn’t budge.
“……Huh.”
“What?”
“My pride is hurt…!”
Iseo shouted with a pitiful cat-like expression.
However.
“I’m not falling for it anymore. Move.”
Click.
I pushed her aside and opened the door.
Bang!
“I’m pretty! And my breasts are big… where else are you going to find a woman like this to fuck—!”
Iseo shouted, wide open in the doorway, still in her underwear.
“That’s not the problem.”
“Don’t you like me?! That’s impossible!”
“……? You told me not to like you.”
“Ah. So…”
The open door slowly narrowed halfway.
“I’m going. See you in class tomorrow.”
Click.
“……I never said anything like that.”
I heard her muttering something behind my back, but it was probably just another obvious sex joke.
As soon as I entered the elevator, the tension I had been holding back released. I gripped the handrail tightly, fearing I might collapse.
If I told anyone about today, they’d probably curse me out for being an idiot who couldn’t even take what was given to him. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it this way.
Especially if the target was Jo Iseo, how huge must my fantasies have been….
Vrrr, vrrr.
As I was organizing my thoughts, the vibration that had been going off for a while finally caught my attention.
The moment I unlocked my phone.
The message pop-up appeared.
Below it:
The heated reactions of my peers were pouring in.
Along with Min Hayun’s personal messages.
……Fuck.
I didn’t even get to do anything….
If I’d known this, I should have just done it……….
A dark room.
Min Hayun’s fingers were moving busily across her phone screen.
Min Hayun was desperately looking for someone in the group chat of her close female peers to deny this ‘rumor.’
“What…? Playing with him…?”
“What’s with these reactions…? These girls are crazy.”
Min Hayun didn’t care about Lee Sia’s tackle and continued to type.
Min Hayun, whose expression had finally brightened, was about to launch into a long speech.
“…….”
With that final message, Min Hayun threw her phone away.
“Jo Iseo… that dog-like bitch is blocking my path again……!”
Wham!
Then, she pulled the blanket over her head and gritted her teeth.
“Seriously…… just you wait. Everyone’s dead starting tomorrow.”