Chapter 23
Chapter 23
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>Translator: Vine
>Chapter: 23
>Chapter Title: An Unconventional Exorcism
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Master...! Where did you go!
[ What— ]
The moment she tried to ask what Rian meant, unable to comprehend his question, her vision suddenly warped.
[ What is this—... Aaaahhh! ]
Her vision began to shift rapidly. Unaffected by gravity, she started flying around at a tremendous speed.
As Juliana vanished as if erased from sight, Rian spoke in a bright voice, like someone who had just scrubbed away old grime.
“Phew, took care of that without a problem.”
The question, ‘How are you fixed to the horizontal coordinate system?’ was one of the most effective methods of ghost extermination, more so than any traditional exorcism. In the gag world, asking a ghost such a thing so carelessly was a dangerous act that could get you dragged to the police station.
“R-Rian, what did you just do?”
>“Oh, that ghost looked like an evil spirit, so I sent it flying.”
>“Sent it... flying?”
Faced with a situation she had never seen or heard of, Noah's mind filled with question marks. Soon, however, all those questions were overshadowed by a sense of ‘regret’.
*‘If I had… taken her hand, could I have become stronger?’*
At the offer of easy power, Noah had been tempted to grab the hand as if possessed, but she hadn't trusted it completely. Every book she had read before finding the white one taught her that power gained easily always came with a price.
Had Noah rejected the power of her own volition, it would have been one thing, but having the opportunity forcibly snatched away only intensified her craving for it.
*‘…I should look for other books.’*
The moment Noah stood up and reached for the bookshelf.
Thump.
“Hya?!”
Rian suddenly grabbed Noah's hand.
“Noah, like I said before, this is the place Mia told us not to enter. Besides, I heard something else. She said there are a lot of incredibly dangerous books here, and just opening one could separate your flesh from your bones.”
>“Uh, uhh...”
>“It seems like you came to this quiet place because something bad happened today... Instead of staying here, let's go get something sweet to eat. It'll make you feel a bit better. If you have anything you want to vent about, I'll listen!”
Rian's eyes sparkled as he spoke fluently and enthusiastically.
*‘Ahh—! This is what being friends is all about!’*
In the gag world, friends were people you did stupid things with, but when it came to serious conversations, they were beings to be quickly cut off and abandoned. The inhabitants of the gag world couldn't stand a boring story for even five minutes.
The prospect of finally having a ‘friendship-like’ conversation made Rian's expression brighter than ever.
“Uh, uh...”
Noah could only stare at the hand Rian held, frozen and muttering foolishly.
“Then let's get out of here!”
Noah was pulled along by Rian.
***
“Have you eaten properly?”
>“...No.”
>“Then let's eat fir—”
Whoosh-
Before I could finish my sentence, something flew like the wind and slapped onto my face.
“Master...! Where did you go!”
It was Jess's voice. I reflexively tried to pull her off my face, but she wouldn't come off easily.
“Jess... I can't breathe.”
>“...!”
At my words, Jess loosened her grip. I could almost hear a popping sound effect as she came off, held in my hands.
“Wuu...”
Jess's eyes welled up, looking like she was about to burst into tears at any moment. Alarm bells started ringing in my head. I lifted her up and down repeatedly as I spoke.
“Ooh-... why is our little Jess about to cry? Is it because you're hungryyy?”
At that, the whimpering Jess spread her arms and said.
“Hold me...”
>“O-Okay!”
I immediately hugged the mumbling Jess. Patting her back as she clung to my stomach like a koala, I looked at Noah.
“Let's get going, then.”
>“...Alright.”
It seemed we needed to hurry. Noah's expression was not good at all! I immediately headed to the kitchen with Jess in my arms.
“Jess, have you eaten?”
Jess mumbled and shook her head. It seemed to mean she had skipped her meal because I wasn't there.
“You can't do that from now on. If you skip meals, you might not grow tall.”
>“...!”
Jess snapped her head up with a shocked expression.
“I'll eat well fwom now on!”
>“Good, good.”
Fortunately, there was leftover food in the kitchen, so a quick reheating would suffice. Since I had already eaten before heading to my experiment, I only prepared meals for Jess and Noah.
My original plan was to listen to Noah vent while she ate a meal or a snack, but that seemed difficult with Jess around. Not that I could just kick Jess out.
I had no choice but to look around the kitchen while the two of them ate. It seemed Pia had already straightened up, as there was nothing for me to clean.
Clatter, clatter.
Listening to the sounds of them eating, I took out all the remaining fruit and started cutting it up. I planned to give it to the kids as a snack.
By the time I had cut the fruit into bite-sized pieces, piled it on a plate, and cleaned up the area, Jess and Noah had finished their meal.
“I'll do the dishes.”
>“I wanna do it too!”
Jess held her bowl up high and wagged her tail, but Noah shook her head and said.
“You're still too small, Jess. It'll be difficult.”
>“...!!”
Jess looked shocked at Noah's words. The kitchen they were using had been lowered by Mia to fit my height, making it comfortable for me, Pia, and Noah, but not for children like Jess, who was half my size.
Jess stared at the sink, which was taller than her, as if she couldn't believe it, before her ears and tail drooped.
I moved the plate full of fruit onto a tray and handed it to Jess, saying.
“We'll do the dishes, so could you take this to the dining room instead, Jess? We're all going to eat it, so it'd be great if you could call the others too.”
>“...! Okay!”
Jess's droopy ears perked up as she nodded. Then, holding the tray, she began to walk very carefully.
“Noah, could you go with Jess? I'll take care of the dishes.”
>“But—...”
>“It's fine. I have to wash the knife and cutting board I used for the fruit anyway.”
>“Ugh... In that case, I'll prepare tomorrow's meal.”
>“Sounds great, thank you.”
When the children were learning simple cooking, Noah learned alongside them. Thanks to that, she could now prepare simple meals herself.
Since we were out of meat and fruit, the meal options were limited anyway, so I readily agreed to Noah's suggestion.
“Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm.”
As Jess walked away humming a little tune, Noah quickly left the kitchen.
“Alright—... I guess I should check our food supplies.”
I needed to check before we ran out completely so I could ask Mia for what we were missing in advance. Just as I was thinking that and heading towards the freezer.
[ You scoundrel! ]
>“...!”
With a harsh shout, the white book fell in front of me with a thud. It opened on its own, and a pale white woman popped out of it.
“Oh, a ghost.”
>[ Grrr...! ]
The ghost clenched her fists and trembled with rage. How did she get back? I used that terrifying exorcism spell.
“Hmm, I guess once wasn't enough? Horizont—”
>[ Aaaahhh! Stop! ]
Just as I was about to ask again how she was fixed to the horizontal coordinate system, the woman screamed and thrashed her arms forward.
Clang, clink-
Suddenly, objects in the kitchen began to float into the air. It was a poltergeist phenomenon, triggered when a ghost's emotions run high.
[ Huh? W-What is this? ]
The ghost looked at the floating objects with a bewildered expression, which then hardened as she flung her hands toward me.
[ Die! ]
At her command, the floating objects all started flying toward me.
Whoosh! Vwoom!
Forks and all sorts of other objects came flying at me. I grinned, twisting my body lightly and dodging the incoming projectiles in various poses, as if performing in a circus.
Not only that, but I even caught the items that looked like they would break if they hit the floor with my mouth or hands.
[ W-What is that?! ]
The moment the ghost's anger turned to disbelief, the objects floating in the air lost their power and began to fall. I dashed forward and rhythmically caught the fragile plates.
[ Oh... ]
Clap, clap.
Seeing the ghost unconsciously clapping, I smiled with satisfaction. Don't underestimate my housekeeping experience from the gag world!
“Phew... Are you calmer now?”
>[ ...! ]
I let out a sigh as I watched the ghost, whose eyes widened as if she had just snapped back to her senses. I immediately opened a cupboard. A cup of freshly brewed, hot tea came out.
Not tea leaves, not a cup, but actual, freshly brewed tea. I placed it on the kitchen table in front of the ghost and said.
“Here, come sit and tell me. What's your lingering regret that's making you act like this?”
>[ Huh...? ]
>“It's because you have a lingering regret, isn't it?”
>[ Th-That's right. ]
>“You'll feel better once you get it all out. Just tell me everything. Have some tea, too.”
>[ No, I can't drink tea... Alright. ]
The ghost picked up the teacup with a ‘This isn't how it's supposed to go’ expression. Naturally, the teacup rested in her hands.
[ Ah, hot! ]
>“It's hot, so let it cool before you drink it.”
The ghost's expression became indescribable.