Chapter 16
Chapter 16
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>Translator: Lord First
>Chapter: 16
>Chapter Title: A Bloody Mess
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Thump!
My shoulders flinched at another loud noise.
“Rania, I keep hearing that strange noise. Do you have any idea what's causing it?”
“It's probably because of him.”
Rania pointed with the tip of her index finger. Following her gesture, I saw a bizarre-looking man writhing on the floor.
“Gasp! Wh-When did he get in here?!”
“He was here before I arrived.”
“What?!”
“Guh, ghaaah!”
The man, whose arms were grotesquely muscular, was gagging as he rolled around on the floor.
“Anyway, where did you hide the cookies? I've been smelling something delicious this whole time.”
“Ah, I'll bring them out right now with some tea.”
“Just give me a few now. I'll eat them on my way.”
“You will?”
I took the cookies from the shelf and placed about five of them in Rania's hand. After taking out a plate and piling it high with cookies, I picked up a jar of tea leaves.
“I'll bring the tea right out.”
“Okay... huh?”
Rania, who had been answering with a cookie in her mouth, saw the jar I was holding and her eyes went wide.
Crunch, crunch, crunch, gulp.
After stuffing the cookie into her mouth and swallowing it in an instant, Rania spoke in a tone of disbelief.
“Don't tell me you're trying to poison me today.”
“Huh?”
“What you're holding right now is a poisonous herb.”
“Whaaat?!”
I immediately dropped the jar I was holding.
Clatter, clatter, thud!
The jar rolled and fell to the floor. It was made of fairly thick glass, so it didn't break, just rolled across the floor.
“Th-That was a poisonous herb?!”
“You didn't know? That stuff is extremely potent. Of course, it won't have much effect on me.”
Rania replied, popping another cookie into her mouth. I suppressed the urge to cry and said.
“Then what should I do? We don't have any tea leaves...”
“Forget it. I don't like that stuff anyway.”
“But... Ah! Come to think of it, Mia brought some fruit!”
I remembered that Mia had bought a few pieces of fruit when she brought the vegetables and meat. I immediately pulled the chilled fruit from the freezer and said.
“I'll make some juice for you.”
“Oh, I'd like that.”
Rania's eyes crinkled into a smile as she lifted the plate piled high with cookies.
“Well, I'll be on my way then. Ah, what are you going to do about him?”
“Ah...”
Only then did I remember the bizarre man rolling on the floor. At some point, he had passed out, foaming at the mouth.
“Umm, I think I should show him to Mia first...”
“Then I'll just take him.”
Shrugging, Rania lightly raised her hand and drew a magic circle in the air. Chains shot out from it, binding the man tightly.
“Bwe caweful.”
“What?”
“Mmm, gulp. I said you should be careful. More guys like this might try to get in.”
“Ah, then I should probably prepare some sort of security device.”
Rania nodded and left the kitchen.
“Phew... I'm glad nothing serious happened.”
Placing a hand on my chest, I let out a sigh of relief. Then I scanned the kitchen, looking for a tool to make the fruit into juice.
“Huh?”
Before I could find a juicer, the jar I'd dropped earlier caught my eye. She must have kicked it while dragging the man out; the lid had come off and the tea leaves had spilled.
“Oh man... this is going to be a pain to clean up. Since it's poisonous, I can't just leave it here, ugh...”
I had no choice but to set the fruit aside and grab a broom. I picked up the half-empty jar, set it aside, and swept the poisonous herbs on the floor into a pile.
‘I don't know what kind of poisonous herb this is, but Mia might have a use for it, so I'll keep what's left in the jar and throw away what spilled.’
There was no dustpan, so I looked around. Seeing nothing suitable, I had no choice but to gather the herbs with my hands and throw them in the trash. After doing this about three times, the poisonous herbs were all gone.
“Phew, all done—... Urk!”
The moment I habitually went to wipe my forehead with the back of my hand, a sharp pain shot through it. My palm was already swollen. As if the Gag Filter had been applied, it was puffed up like I was wearing a giant glove.
“Damn. I thought since it was a dried herb, it wouldn't have much effect unless I actually drank it.”
I sighed, shaking my throbbing hand.
“This is probably going to last a while.”
Fine motor tasks would be difficult until the swelling went down, but simple work wasn't a problem. First, I closed the lid of the glass jar and put it away.
Then I took out a cutting board and a knife. My palm burned as if it had been struck ten times with a switch, but the pain wasn't enough to stop me from cooking, so I paid it no mind.
Just in case any poison was left on my hand, I washed it thoroughly with cold water before placing the fruit on the cutting board.
“What kind of fruit is this?”
The fruit, which looked like a donut, was covered in multiple layers of a peel, like a corn husk. The only difference from corn was that the peel was a bit tougher.
Crack.
When I cut into it with the kitchen knife, a red liquid seeped out. The cross-section of the fruit was a crimson color, reminiscent of meat. Even the juice that flowed out was red, making the resemblance stronger.
“Is this... really a fruit?”
It gave off a slightly metallic, bloody smell like raw meat, which naturally made me suspicious. Just in case, I cut off a tiny piece and tried it. A sweet and sour taste enveloped my tongue.
“Mmm!”
‘It's incredibly sweet and delicious, completely unlike how it looks! I could use this in cookies or cakes later. Or it would be great to just make juice for the kids.’
Chuckling to myself, I peeled off the tough skin, took out the flesh, and chopped it up. Then I got a basin the size of a five-person pot and dumped all the fruit flesh inside.
‘It's so ripe, I can probably just mash it by hand.’
With no blender or juicer, I had no choice but to wash my hands thoroughly one more time and start mashing the fruit by hand.
‘Oh, this is pretty easy.’
The fruit mashed with surprising ease, thanks to my swollen palm. Using the 'Survive Any Situation by Staying Positive' skill I learned from living in the Gag World, I cheerfully mashed the fruit.
“Phew... all done.”
I took out two cups, neatly filled them with juice, and set them aside. I planned to tidy up the kitchen a bit before taking them out.
“What a mess...”
So much juice had spilled that the kitchen counter, and even the floor, were splattered with the crimson liquid. My beige clothes hadn't been spared either. They were stained crimson, as if they'd been dyed.
“It looks like a murder scene.”
They say spilling raspberry juice can make it look like blood. The floor looked exactly like that.
‘I need to clean this up, fast.’
The floor and table were made of hard tile that didn't stain easily and was simple to clean, but the cutting board was wood and the knife had a wooden handle, so they could stain easily.
I quickly washed the basin, cutting board, and knife, then wiped down the table with a dishcloth. The cloth was instantly stained red. After wiping the table, I knelt and started scrubbing the floor.
‘This dishcloth was pretty old anyway. Good. I'll just throw it out after this.’
I used the cloth to soak up the pooled juice on the floor, then wrung it out in the sink. Then I knelt again and continued wiping the floor. Just as most of the juice was gone...
“Rian, what about our meal—...”
“Ah, Noah. Sorry, something came up. I'll get it ready as soon as I finish cleaning this.”
I gave an awkward smile to Noah, who was standing at the kitchen entrance with a stiff expression, and finished wiping the floor. I was almost done, with only reddish stains remaining.
‘Just one or two more wipes should do it.’
With that thought, I stood up and wrung out the red-stained cloth in the sink.
Drip, drop.
The crimson liquid poured into the sink.
‘Ah, is this going to stain my hands?’
I sighed, looking at my juice-covered hands. Just as I was about to kneel again, Noah strode over to me.
“You, what is this?”
“Hmm?”
Noah grabbed my hand, which was still holding the cloth, and lifted it. The swelling was starting to go down, so it looked better than before, but it was still puffy.
“Ah, um...”
I was too embarrassed to admit I'd foolishly touched a poisonous herb with my bare hands.
‘Should I just say I was trying to catch a bug? No. I'll say I was bitten by a mosquito.’
It wasn't a stupid idea. This was the land of the Demon King, home to terrifying monsters! It wouldn't be strange at all if a monstrously large mosquito had bitten my hand.
“Uh, I was bitten by some kind of bug. It'll go down soon, so don't worry.”
I knew Noah was the worrying type, so I spoke with an awkward expression. In response, her face twisted into a scowl.
“This... is from a bug bite? Then where is the bug?”
“Well...”
“And this... what are these bloodstains?”
Noah pointed with a trembling gaze at the juice that had soaked my clothes.