The Loneliness of a Retired Magical Girl
Calling it a cult and brushing it off didn't work—the penthouse's presence was too overwhelming for that.
I sat demurely, listening intently to her explanation.
"Magical girls draw their power from people's dreams, love, and cheers."
"Ah. Yeah. I get the gist."
"But people's interest fades fast, and passion and admiration turn into familiarity and boredom. Love becomes obsession, and pure cheers start demanding repayment and rewards."
"Hmm……."
"You can only receive pure cheers until you're a minor. That's why magical girls have to stay 'girls.'"
I had a rough idea of what she meant.
A kid's hard work makes you cheer instinctively, but an adult's? It's just 'tough luck' at best.
When celebrities talk about depression, the first response is 'you're loaded and still whining?' In a world like this, expecting 'pure cheers' is a stretch.
"Only girls can remain magical girls. But if those who were magical girls stick around, the cheers and attention meant for new ones get scattered to the retirees."
"……So they erase their existence entirely?"
"Yes."
That was…….
"Those bastards."
"Right?! Ugh. Those mascot fuckers. They never mentioned this when we signed the contract! This is fraud!"
Just existing is a burden on the world, so they wipe them out. The love, cheers, trust, gratitude toward them—all forgotten from people's memories, as if it never happened.
I couldn't claim to understand, but imagining it was horrifying enough.
Assuming everything she said was true.
"……Ugh. You still don't believe me, do you?"
"Kinda. But I'm recognizing you properly, right? I remember there was a magical girl called Acid Star."
It was an intriguing story, but my very existence contradicted it.
If no one truly remembered her, I wouldn't either. But I did remember Acid Star. So her story had to be a lie. Even if it was true that she was Acid Star.
"Proof! I'll show you proof."
"Proof?"
Grumbling with an aggrieved look, she suddenly pulled out her smartphone and searched for something.
"This is it!"
"……A gallery, huh."
A community for discussing specific topics.
She shoved her phone screen toward me, showing the posts.
"See? Posts dropped off a cliff starting from my retirement date!"
"Yeah, they really did. But there's still one or two popping up steadily?"
"Ah. Th-those are mine."
"What?"
When I double-checked, she answered sheepishly.
I scanned the post titles she'd supposedly written.
"You wrote these yourself?"
"……W-well, I figured maybe someone would comment if I made titles that'd grab attention……."
"Ah. Sure. Universe-top cutie Acid Star."
"Eek."
Her face flushed red with embarrassment—it looked like she really had written them.
She rushed on, changing the subject.
"A-anyway, it's super weird, right?! Traffic just stops dead on a specific date!"
"It really is. But couldn't you fake a mini gallery like this easily?"
"Well, yeah, but……."
"If it's true, other retired magical girls' galleries should be the same, right?"
"Huh? Yeah. ……Probably?"
"Let's search. Can I borrow your phone?"
"Huh? Sure."
She wasn't the only retired magical girl.
Galleries covered every topic imaginable, so each magical girl had her own mini one. Some had shut down from inactivity, but traces remained.
I searched the names of the magical girls I remembered one by one.
The results were baffling.
"……It's real?"
"See?!"
Just as she'd said, every gallery went dead silent right after retirement. As if everyone who remembered them had vanished.
Acid Star nodded triumphantly at my reaction, then took her phone back and tilted her head.
"But these are other retired magical girls' stage names?"
"Yeah. You don't know them?"
"Even if I did, I'd have forgotten. Heck, even seeing them now, I couldn't recognize or remember……."
She blinked.
"How am I recognizing these?"
"What?"
"Fortune Star, Joke Star, Romantic Star…… I'm reading them right, yeah?"
"You are?"
"Whoa. Joke Star was the one fighting with me back then?"
"Yeah. Don't you remember?"
"I kinda recall fighting with someone…… but even watching the footage, nothing."
After a few experiments, we figured out she could recognize the magical girls' existences once I told her about them. She couldn't recall forgotten memories, but she wouldn't forget again.
We hunted down her old footage together, identifying her fellow magical girls that way. I'd name them, and only then would she recognize her 'comrades.'
"I…… wasn't alone……."
"Nope. Looks like you had more popularity than you thought. All these comrades fighting by your side."
"Pfft. 'More than I thought'? That's saying I seemed like a total loner!"
"Eh. A bit?"
"Hey, where's a cutie like me a loner? Ugh. If not for those mascot bastards, I'd be an idol!"
"Not quite that level……."
"This is bare-faced! Idol makeup, and bam—like this. You know?"
"Nope. No clue."
"Kyaha!"
We lounged on the sofa, watching magical girl footage on TV. Fancy place. The TV and sound system were massive, expensive models I'd never seen.
We binged all night, and I must've dozed off.
When I came to, a blanket was over me, and she was still glued to the screen alone.
"You're up?"
"Ah. Yeah. Guess I nodded off. Thanks for the blanket, Acid."
"Call me Soo-ah. Lee Soo-ah. It's my name."
"Got it, Soo-ah."
"And you? We've spent a night under the same roof, but I still don't know your name."
"Sounds kinda shady. I'm Shin. Kim Shin."
"Shin? Not 'cause you're from a cult, right?"
"Haha. No. That'd be blasphemy. Pretty sure it's just the name my faceless parents gave me."
"Ah……."
I don't know my parents' faces. Only that they died to a Kaiji when I was little.
Common tragedy these days.
The cult adults fed and housed me after that. People call it a cult, but they were kind. 'Be kind to neighbors' was plagiarized Christianity, sure, but the teaching itself wasn't bad.
"S-sorry."
"Nah, not your fault, Soo-ah. If anything, magical girls like you prevent more victims like me."
"……."
"Always wanted to thank you all. Situation's weird, but…… thanks, Soo-ah."
She averted her gaze, embarrassed. Probably heard it constantly as an active girl, but after so long, it felt off.
Considering her feelings, I pulled the blanket up and closed my eyes.
Thinking I'd fall asleep again, she yelped in surprise.
"Ah! G-go sleep in the room! Sofa'll wreck your back……."
"Ahaha. Yeah. Slipped my mind."
I crashed in the guest room. The bed showed some wear—not from her, probably a past visitor.
One of her comrade magical girls, maybe? She wouldn't remember.
The next morning, I bowed to her on the sofa.
"Thanks for the stay, Soo-ah. I'll head out."
"……Where to?"
"Huh? Oh. Day labor? I grab whatever gigs pop up daily. Scour job sites and papers for steady work too."
"For money?"
"Yeah?"
"Then I'll pay you daily—stay longer?"
"Huh?"
Sudden offer. Grateful for one night's crash in a spot like this, and now cash? Too generous.
"Ah, s-sorry. That was weird. Haven't talked to anyone in forever……."
She realized it post-say, blushing and bowing her head. Slipped out unconsciously.
"I get it. You're lonely, right? No one else to chat with."
"Y-yeah……."
"But paid chats feel off…… Instead, I'll visit often. Oh. Guards might block drop-ins?"
"Ah! H-here, your resident card! Come anytime!"
She yanked something from her wallet—a black card trimmed in gold. The keycard from hotel entry.
"Alright, see ya."
"Yeah! Anytime!"
"Haha. Sure."
We parted, and I slipped out quietly. Felt awkward glancing back at the hotel. Hard to believe I'd slept in such a swanky penthouse.
Feels like I got possessed or something.
One hell of an experience. Insanely fun.
Next time, bring a gift.
Lee Soo-ah lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.
Lonely.
Solitary.
Was it because she'd talked to someone after so long? The loneliness she should've been used to felt alien and terrifying.
"Don't wanna be alone anymore……."
Lonely. Lonely. Lonely. Lonely. Cold. Hurts. Miss you. Hate being alone. Where'd you go? Why'd you leave me? You'll come back, right? You won't forget me… right?
When? You said you'd come. Don't leave me alone. Please. Please. Please. So cold. So chilly.
I need…… warmth…….