It's Written in the Ancient Records: The Heavenly Demon is a Woman (2)
“First, we should address the menstrual cramps before moving on.”
“......!”
Thirin found herself nodding without realizing it. Respect and trust surged like a waterfall. Finally, at long last. She had met the only person in this primitive, rootless fantasy land who spoke sense!
Of course. To cure an illness, you had to find and eliminate the root cause. What an elegant choice of words. Everyone else she had met so far only knew primitive verbs like “kill,” “beat,” “cut,” or “explode.” But this priestess was different. She was a true medical professional, a true intellectual. A beacon of civilization where reason and logic still breathed!
Receiving Thirin’s burning gaze, the priestess spoke in an utterly common-sense, rational tone.
“All pain cannot be fully cured unless its source is removed. The source of your suffering is menstruation. The way to alleviate menstrual pain is...”
“...is?”
The priestess took Thirin’s hands reverently. Her voice was solemn, as if delivering a divine revelation.
“Menstrual pain stems from the absence of pregnancy. In other words, if you become pregnant, you will stop menstruating, and the pain will disappear as well.”
“......What?”
Thirin’s brain doubted her own ears. What did she just hear?
The priestess rattled off nonsense as though stating the most obvious fact in the world.
“It is an extremely clear solution. During pregnancy, a woman’s body is designed to focus solely on nurturing the fetus. Unnecessary energy expenditure—in other words, menstruation—ceases. And that is not all.”
Like a salesperson pitching medicine, the priestess began listing the benefits of pregnancy.
“Pregnancy fundamentally restructures a woman’s body. The pelvis becomes sturdier, and the power of motherhood strengthens the mind. Once you experience this great process, your body will remember and adapt to the natural order of life, significantly reducing pain thereafter.”
“......”
The priestess smiled brightly and gazed steadily at Thirin’s mask.
“I do not know why you cover your face, but judging from your eyes and neckline alone, you seem to possess a noble beauty.”
“......”
Thirin’s brain immediately latched onto the positive feedback. When people hear an unacceptable reality—for example, a Charm 120 beauty-priestess telling a man to get pregnant—they deny it. Thirin was no exception. Since the alternative was sweet praise, it was only natural she focused on that instead.
Thirin instantly became intoxicated by the compliments from the blonde beauty-priestess with Charm 120 and a voluptuous chest.
“They say appearance is a mirror of the heart. You must surely possess a heart as beautiful as your looks. Overflowing with mercy and love.”
Thirin nodded again. That much was true. She was the Saintess of Mercy, the Saintess of the Whip, the Saintess of Everland, and the Saintess of Gacha. Had she not eradicated the formula thieves, personally guided serious criminals onto the path of rehabilitation, and provided social surveillance networks for stalkers?
While Thirin basked in self-love, the priestess drove the point home.
“With such an excellent appearance and heart, all conditions for bearing a child are perfect. If you are having trouble with romance, as a priestess of the Salvation Sect, I would be more than happy to assist.”
“......No.”
Harsh reality struck Thirin once more. The blonde beauty-priestess with Charm 120 spouting nonsense was not a hallucination—it was actually happening.
Thirin was dumbfounded. Solving menstrual cramps through pregnancy? That was on the same level as saying “if you have a cold, cut off your head so you won’t cough.”
“Um... Priestess. That prescription seems a little problematic.”
Thirin carefully objected. Even her tone had become unusually demure.
“Even if pregnancy stops the pain, won’t it just return after ten months? No, replacing menstrual pain with the pain of pregnancy in the first place... that’s like taking out a ten-month high-interest loan with no early repayment option. Not to mention the interest—you have to pay back the principal along with the child for the rest of your life.”
Above all else, Thirin was a man. Mentally, at least. A world where men got pregnant could not exist and should never exist! Absolutely!!!
The priestess frowned.
“A child is not a debt, Sister. A child is a blessing. Gaining a greater blessing through pain—how could that be a loss?”
“......”
Thirin felt a flicker of anger. Just when she thought the woman was making some sense, she launched into a long-winded rant of nonsense. There was no helping this crazy woman.
At the same time, a long-suppressed rebellious spirit stirred in a corner of Thirin’s heart. She took a certain pride in her twisted personality, viewing it as a proud result of adaptation to this primitive fantasy land. It was lamentable. Still, Thirin thought:
I’m also pretty good at being a crazy woman. I can’t just lose here.
“Wouldn’t there be a far more fundamental solution than that?” Thirin asked provocatively.
“Wouldn’t it be much more certain and efficient to just remove the uterus entirely...?”
But the priestess did not lose her smile. She spoke softly and nonchalantly, as if listening to a child’s tantrum.
“Do not call something you do not even believe in a solution.”
Thirin had the distinct impression that the priestess had just cleaned out her ears after hearing nonsense. The priestess added, flicking her fingers as though shaking off earwax (in Thirin’s imagination):
“Words have power. If you carelessly spout lies, you will come to believe the lies themselves. You must be careful with your speech and conduct.”
Thirin was at a loss for words. Be careful with speech and conduct? So this woman’s careful suggestion was to get pregnant instead of menstruating?
“......”
This crazy woman genuinely, sincerely, and unequivocally believed pregnancy was the one and only solution!
A cold sweat ran down Thirin’s spine. Even so, this was too much.
The priestess went further.
“Pregnancy is the great act of creating life. There is no greater blessing, Sister. So date someone. Meet someone you love, bear a child, and all your pain will vanish. You will be saved.”
“......”
Thirin recalled every idiot she had met so far—Heres, Gordo, the sand idiots, and countless other criminals. But the woman before her was on another level. She was pure, innocent conviction with her own unshakable logic and belief. Fakes naturally became polite when faced with the real thing.
Thirin placed both hands on her stomach and demurely closed her legs. Sitting primly, she finally understood the secret of this clinic.
No wonder it was strange that there were no patients.
The natives of this fantasy land were not primitive. They were smart. Much smarter than her!!!
Thirin cursed Rina for telling her to meet this crazy blonde.
“......”
So what now? She needed to ask about the Divine Core, but could she get proper information from this woman? This was the so-called “clear-eyed lunatic.” In the priestess’s case, her eyes were almost closed, but she was definitely that type.
In the end, Thirin decided to take a step back. Honesty was better.
“Um... I have no intention of getting pregnant. I have no plans to meet any men.”
“......”
Thirin blinked. The priestess did not argue. If anything, Thirin felt the priestess’s smile had deepened.
“If that is your wish, then I cannot force you further.”
Her unexpectedly compliant attitude. The priestess added:
“However, menstrual cramps are clearly an important issue tormenting you, so we cannot simply ignore it. Would you like to receive treatment in another way for now?”
“....You’re not going to tell me to have a phantom pregnancy instead, are you?”
“What an amusing joke. I would never prescribe something so unreasonable.”
The priestess chuckled. Thirin was speechless.
For the first time, Thirin realized this fantasy land was no pushover.
But...
“....”
After a moment’s thought, Thirin nodded. Even though the solution she proposed was insane, the crazy blonde had at least made an accurate diagnosis. If the treatment was normal, it would be fine to ask about the Divine Core afterward.
“Then would you please lie down comfortably on the bed?”
The priestess’s voice remained gentle. Thirin followed reluctantly. Lying on the soft bed, her tense body seemed to relax a little.
“Please lift your top just below your chest. I need to locate the exact acupoints.”
“...Do we really have to do that?”
“Yes. We do.”
A firm answer. Thirin reluctantly pulled her tight shirt up just below her chest. Combined with her base Charm of 180, Thirin’s abs—maintained through consistent training—were flawless. Smooth, defined abs with a slender waistline, and a vertically elongated navel that drew the eye.
While Thirin flushed with embarrassment, the priestess climbed onto the bed without hesitation and straddled Thirin’s stomach.
“Wait, P-Priestess, hold on, what is this...!”
Thirin’s face burned as if it would explode. A blonde beauty-priestess was sitting on her stomach. In her beloved homeworld, this kind of situation was something you had to pay to see... no, something you could not even see even if you paid.
Just as all sorts of profane imaginations threatened to run wild in Thirin’s head, the priestess spoke.
“The treatment method may be a little intense. But the effect is certain, so there is no need to worry.”
“Huh....?”
What was this woman saying?
Instead of answering, the priestess raised her fist with a benevolent smile.
“Now, this may hurt a little. Please tense your lower abdomen.”
“What?”
Before Thirin could say anything, the priestess’s fist came crashing down like lightning onto Thirin’s stomach.
-Thwack!
“Kuhk!”
Stars exploded before Thirin’s eyes. An excruciating shock that traveled up her spine and rattled her brain. Her breath caught; it felt as if all her organs were twisting and about to spill out of her mouth.
This crazy woman had punched her in the stomach to treat menstrual cramps!
Thirin spat out a curse.
“Mom!”
Hearing Thirin’s scream, the priestess got off the bed. Still groaning and clutching her stomach in pain, Thirin suddenly bolted upright as a thought struck her. The powerful external impact had triggered the K-Gender Equality brainwashing imprinted in her DNA, activating emergency protocols.
Political Correctness Protocol activated.
Switching to Gender Equality mode.
Thirin rose to her feet, cursing.
“You crazy bitch, you punched me in the stomach? You think I won’t hit you just because I’m a woman?!”
Sparks flew from Thirin’s hellish mouth. How should she deal with this crazy woman? Verbally destroy her? Or beat her up?
Both.
Thirin still had a long way to go. She was actually debating something so obvious.
But before her furious fist could rise, the priestess’s calm voice reached her ears.
“How does your body feel?”
“Obviously like I’m about to die... huh?”
Thirin reflexively tried to curse, then fell silent at the change in her body. The pain from the punch had vanished like a lie. Not only that—the unpleasant sensation that had been gradually building as her period approached was gone. In its place, a warm, refreshing energy seemed to well up. Her entire body felt light as a feather.
The priestess smiled and nodded.
“I dispersed the stagnant malign energy in your meridians. You should be free of pain for a while.”
“Crazy.”
Thirin muttered the curse without realizing it. So the stomach punch had not been mere madness but an actual treatment?
Thirin’s shock did not end there.
You have physically realized a new principle of martial arts through pain and damage!
Through Physical Realization, you have grasped the basics of a new martial art!
You have acquired the basics of the Heavenly Demon Divine Art — ‘Destruction’!
You have acquired the basics of the Heavenly Demon Divine Art — ‘Acupoint’!
You have acquired the basics of the Heavenly Demon Divine Art — ‘Connection’!
You have gained knowledge of meridians and acupoints through the Heavenly Demon Divine Art!
“Heavenly Demon Divine Art...?”
Thirin was utterly dumbfounded. She learned martial arts just from getting punched in the stomach by the priestess?
Staring blankly at the system window in disbelief, Thirin muttered:
“Heavenly Demon...?”
Hearing her words, the priestess growled in a low voice.
“...What did you just say?”