I Have to Exterminate These Fucking Parasites!!! (2)
The anomaly occurred the second time they returned to the ritual chamber.
“.........”
Thirin stopped at the entrance to the ritual chamber.
Something felt off.
“.........”
Klaus felt a flicker of confusion at Thirin's sudden silence.
“What’s wrong?”
“Something’s weird.”
Thirin frowned as she scanned the empty ritual chamber.
“It feels like… something’s changed.”
“What are you talking about? It looks exactly the same as before.”
In Klaus’s eyes, there was no difference at all. The grotesque altar still stood in the center, and the decapitated corpses of the priests were still strewn across the floor.
The remaining children slept peacefully inside their coffins.
But Thirin’s hypersensitive senses were picking up a subtle dissonance.
It was the same unpleasant feeling you get when you walk into your freshly cleaned room only to notice that the pencil on your desk has shifted by about 0.5 millimeters. A tiny, almost imperceptible misalignment that still managed to grate on the nerves.
Thirin’s keen instincts were screaming a warning she couldn’t quite name.
“What’s the problem?”
Klaus asked quietly from behind her.
“...I don’t know. It feels like the corpses moved a little.”
Thirin muttered without much confidence.
“Couldn’t it just be rigor mortis?”
“...Stalker, you sure know a lot of random shit.”
Klaus might have been right. It was possible. But there was another layer of unease she couldn’t shake.
She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had changed. All she had was this creeping discomfort slithering down her spine.
“...Let’s hurry. We should get the kids out of here fast.”
The two of them quickly scooped up the children two at a time and rushed out of the ritual chamber.
Thanks to their haste, it didn’t take long.
They moved down the corridor and stopped in front of the door they had melted earlier.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me……”
Klaus couldn’t believe his eyes.
The door they had dissolved was back, completely intact, as if nothing had happened. Perfectly sealed without a single gap.
In that instant, memories flashed through Thirin’s mind like lightning.
“......!”
With a short gasp, she pulled out the last remaining bottle of corrosive liquid.
“Goddammit, this is the last one……!”
Thirin shouted at Klaus while splashing the acid back onto the stone door.
“Stick guy! Grab the kids! Get them outside first!”
“What? What about you?!”
“I’ll buy us time. Go!”
At her urgent cry, Klaus immediately understood her intention.
Something was happening inside that ritual chamber.
Klaus gritted his teeth and somehow managed to wedge four children under his arms.
“......!”
The combined weight and bulk of four children, plus the continuous use of imprints during the earlier battle.
Even though he had drunk the recovery potion Thirin gave him, a massive amount of fatigue had already built up.
Klaus clenched his jaw. There was no time to hesitate.
Acceleration
Klaus activated the imprint and practically hurled the children under his arms outside the temple.
The sudden exhaustion nearly made him collapse on the spot.
But he couldn’t allow that. He had to help Thirin.
Without even catching his breath, Klaus turned and sprinted back toward the ritual chamber.
“.........”
“.........”
The sound of conversation drifted out from inside.
Klaus held his breath, lowered his body, and peeked into the chamber.
“......!”
Thirin was facing off against one of the revived priests.
Or more accurately, she had already decapitated four of them again and was now dealing with the last one.
Fresh bloodstains covered various parts of her body that hadn’t been there moments ago.
“......!”
Klaus finally realized what power this forgotten god possessed.
Why the werewolf had regenerated after its head was severed.
Why one side of the trees in the forest path looked weathered as if thousands of years had passed.
Why this door had restored itself.
Time.
These cultists were manipulating time.
The forgotten god’s authority was the power to control time itself.
The werewolf’s regeneration, the weathering of the trees, and the resurrection happening right before his eyes.
Everything was the result of rewinding time. The priests weren’t truly reviving—they were simply being sent back to the moment before they died.
The priest stood beside one of the coffins, sword in hand, glaring at Thirin.
He was using the children as hostages.
Thirin seemed to sense Klaus’s presence behind her but didn’t turn around.
Instead, she reached a hand back and gave him a silent signal to stay put.
“Taking kids as hostages? How typical of a kidnapper. What a filthy move.”
Thirin clicked her tongue.
“Aren’t you ashamed? A grown adult using children as shields?”
The priest sneered.
“Woman, you know nothing. Divinity is simply reclaiming what you thieves have stolen.”
“What exactly did we steal?”
As she spoke, Thirin began moving—extremely slowly, so subtly that the priest wouldn’t notice. At the same time, her fingers behind her back sent silent instructions to Klaus.
Klaus understood immediately. Thirin was deliberately keeping the priest’s attention fixed on herself.
If he rewound time, that means his memories rewound too.
This priest had no idea Klaus even existed.
She was drawing his focus so Klaus could strike from behind.
“I said, what did we steal? Why aren’t you answering?”
Unaware of her plan, the priest continued speaking.
“Where do you think the power used by your Empire and your humans came from? All of it is nothing more than stolen property taken from its rightful owners. This is simply correcting a wrong.”
“Then go take it back from the actual owners, you idiot. Why the hell are you kidnapping random kids?”
The priest replied calmly.
“Such distinctions are meaningless.”
“This guy’s actually insane, isn’t he?”
While keeping the priest’s attention, Thirin recalled what Rina had said back at the guild.
She said the kidnapped children all had something in common. They were all taken because they had the aptitude for magic. So does that mean magic is a power that steals from the gods’ authority?
Thirin snorted. So what?
“What a load of horseshit.”
She couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Hey, you bastard! Even animals know how precious their own cubs are! Cats practice communal parenting! And you’re telling me what about the kids?!”
Thirin was starting to get genuinely pissed.
These bastards didn’t understand how precious children were.
Some countries were on the verge of collapse because of low birth rates.
Though, come to think of it, the people who already existed were usually the worst.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she became.
The priest said,
“Woman. This is none of your concern. Return what was taken and leave. If you do, I will let you go unharmed.”
“Bullshit.”
Thirin’s cursed tongue began to wriggle.
“What? What’s the name of the god you serve? The god of sand and flowing rivers?”
“Show respect when speaking of divinity. That is not a name for the likes of you to utter carelessly.”
Thirin’s lips curled into a smirk.
“Yeah, now I get why your so-called ‘divine artifact’ is just a stupid sand bottle. Your god’s power is time, right?”
“Do not speak of divinity with that profane mouth.”
Thirin completely ignored the priest’s warning.
“If it’s the god of time, you should be using an hourglass as your symbol. But you guys don’t even have the money to make one, so you’re stuck carrying around cheap sand bottles, huh? You pathetic beggars.”
“...What did you just say?”
“Flowing… whatever-the-hell. That grandiose name is way too much for you losers. Let me give you a new one. Yeah, the God of Beggars. That fits you perfectly. Absolutely perfect.”
“You insolent wench, how dare you…”
Thirin didn’t stop. She kept running her mouth, deliberately testing the priest’s patience.
“Before I came here, I heard something interesting.”
She cackled as if she were gossiping about neighborhood rumors.
“Apparently some gods refused to join the Pantheon. Now I get it. That’s why your god isn’t on the list.”
From beneath the priest’s robe came the sound of teeth grinding in rage.
“How dare a mere human try to confine divinity in something as vulgar as a pantheon! What greater blasphemy could there be?!”
His voice dripped with contempt.
“Those in the Pantheon are pathetic beings who abandoned their own godhood. How dare you compare us to such lowly creatures!”
The priest seemed genuinely furious, but Thirin didn’t care in the slightest.
“Hey.”
She pointed at the priest.
“You didn’t refuse to join the Pantheon.”
“...What?”
“It’s not that you didn’t join. It’s that you couldn’t join.”
“......!”
“The Pantheon rejected you. No, they kicked you out. They probably decided that associating with trash gods like you would drag their own divinity down. It would ruin the vibe. Unanimous decision by the Pantheon’s board of directors.”
Thirin slowly shifted her body toward the priest’s blind spot while relentlessly hurling insults.
“You need to change your divine name first. What did I call you earlier? God of Beggars? Nah, that’s still way too generous for you. Too polite. You’re the kind of scum that kidnaps babies and sucks their blood.”
The veins on the priest’s sword hand bulged.
“You are… yes. That’s exactly what you are.”
The priest was already being swept up by Thirin’s bizarre taunts.
He had never encountered a woman who dared to insult divinity so fearlessly.
Without realizing it, he took a step toward her.
Thirin glanced sideways to check Klaus’s movement and slowly retreated.
Even then, her tongue never stopped.
“You parasites who stick straws in babies and suck their blood, the Lord of Mosquitoes, breeding specialist of rat-tailed maggots, King of Parasites, Supreme Leech—”
“You filthy bitch…!”
“No, that’s still too good for you. At least those things participate in the ecosystem. You’re the ones who steal what babies need to eat… fucking… that… that…!”
Klaus, creeping up behind the priest, was utterly speechless.
Thirin might not be a witch, but her tongue was more wicked than any witch’s.
To think that a woman favored by one of the gods of the Pantheon possessed such a venomous tongue.
Maybe the god who favored her was the one who deserved to be expelled.
“That’s it!”
Thirin clapped her hands as if she had reached enlightenment.
“Breast Milk Devourer!”
One of the elements that made up her 180 charm stat—her supremely pure and beautiful voice—transformed into the most malicious curse a human could utter, piercing the priest’s ears.
“That’s exactly what you are. You’re the god who steals and devours breast milk, the patron constellation of breast milk thieves, the plunderer of baby formula, the raider of baby food—”
“...This vulgar wench.”
“The bug-like god who survives by stealing formula, the God of Formula Weevils—”
“Shut your mouth!”
Thirin’s eyes sparkled.
“Yes! The God of Fucking Baby Parasites!”
She thrust her sword toward the priest.
“You’re all fucking baby parasites!”
The priest roared.
“I’ll cut out that tongue of yours!”
“Come and try! If you think you can steal one more sip of baby mama’s milk, then come at me!”
Thirin never lost an argument.
She pulled her mask up to the bridge of her nose and stuck out her bright red tongue.
“Come cut it off! You fucking formula thief!”
The priest’s patience finally snapped.
“Silence!”
He gripped his sword tightly.
“That vulgar tongue of yours…!”
Thirin shot Klaus a look.
Now.
The moment he received the signal, Klaus moved.
Acceleration
With the sound of his foot kicking off the ground, his body shot forward like a streak of light. His target was singular—the neck of the priest holding the hostage.
“?!”
Klaus’s eyes widened.
Suddenly the priest’s neck twisted in a bizarre way. It changed direction so sharply it seemed like a completely different creature had taken over from the neck up.
The priest’s face turned to stare directly at the charging Klaus.
“Cease.”
“!!!”
Klaus froze mid-leap, still in the exact posture of his charge. The tip of his sword trembled in the air. It felt as if invisible chains had bound his entire body—he couldn’t move a single finger.
The priest who had spoken the divine word looked at Klaus with contempt and spat out a curse.
“A mere dog of thieves dares to—”
The priest never finished his sentence.
-Slice.
Because Thirin’s sword had already swept across his neck.
“.........”
The priest’s head fell to the floor with a dull thud.
Klaus’s eyes widened. Was it over?
No. It wasn’t over yet.
Thirin turned to look at him with that infuriating smirk she always wore.
“Stalker. Your movements are completely different from when you’re stalking women. As expected, people really should do what they—”
She stopped mid-sentence, sensing something strange.
Following Klaus’s gaze, she looked behind herself.
And Thirin couldn’t react in time.
“......!”
-Thud.
Another priest whose time had been rewound.
His sword pierced straight through Thirin’s chest without hesitation.
Thirin let out a pained groan mixed with a curse.
“Eung-ae.”
Her brain-to-tongue wiring had broken again.
Internally screaming every swear word she knew, Thirin swung her fist while the sword was still embedded in her chest.
Steel
-Crack!
The priest’s head spun a full 180 degrees.
And that was the end.
Both Thirin and the priest collapsed at the same time, like puppets with their strings cut.
Klaus’s eyes widened in horror.
“Bounty hunter……!”
As the priest fell, the divine word binding Klaus’s body was released.
Klaus tried to force himself up. His muscles screamed in protest from the overuse of Acceleration, but this was no time to worry about that. He couldn’t let that woman die here.
He mustn’t. He couldn’t.
He had to move.
Klaus staggered toward Thirin.
“Cough, ugh…!”
The woman with a sword through her chest was continuously vomiting bright red blood.
Klaus cursed.
“Dammit, dammit…!”
“S-Stalker… cough…!”
“Damn it, stay still! I need to stop the bleeding…!”
“Cough, ugh…!”
Blood kept gushing out from beneath her mask. Even now, this woman was desperately trying to hide her face. Just what kind of complex did she have?
But that wasn’t important right now. The blood she was coughing up was preventing her from breathing properly.
Without hesitation, Klaus ripped off Thirin’s mask.
“......!”
Klaus froze completely.
With his limited vocabulary, there was no way to describe the woman before him.
Pale skin that seemed to hold moonlight. Even her brows, furrowed in pain, looked sacred like a sculpture of the divine. Her blood-stained red lips still radiated sensuality even on death’s doorstep.
Though covered in blood and dust, she possessed a fragile, sacred beauty like a wounded goddess statue.
For a brief moment, Klaus forgot everything about their situation and simply stared, completely entranced.
“Cough!”
Thirin’s coughing forcibly dragged Klaus’s mind back to reality.
“Damn it, I have to stop the bleeding, stop the bleeding…!”
“S-Stalker……”
“Shut up! You’re making more blood come out!”
“I-I’m… fine, so……”
“Goddamn it, what the hell do you mean you’re fine?!”
Thirin raised her trembling hand.
Her shaking fingers touched Klaus’s cheek.
“!”
“S-Snap out of it, ugh…!”
Thirin lifted her hand and pointed at the fallen priests beside them.
“Time… time is… going back…!”
“...!”
The severed heads of the priests were wriggling, moving back toward their bodies. The god’s power was rewinding the time of the dead.
Even while coughing up blood, Thirin spoke desperately.
“The kids… hurry… cough… the door… it’s closing…!”
“!!!”
Understanding her words, Klaus quickly looked toward the door.
The melted stone door was slowly restoring itself to its original form. Time remaining: 17.7 seconds.
There were three children left. If he used Acceleration, he could get all of them outside in 12.4 seconds.
But Thirin…
Calculating his remaining stamina, the burden of the imprints, and her weight, carrying her out would take 25.4 seconds. Even so, he couldn’t just leave her here—
“K-Klaus!”
-Slap!
Using the last of her strength, Thirin slapped Klaus across the face.
Klaus saw the flames burning in her eyes.
“What you… said…!”
The rest of Thirin’s words were drowned out by the sound of blood gurgling up, but Klaus understood their meaning.
Don’t forget what you told me. Don’t forget what you wanted to do. Don’t forget what you must do.
What Klaus had to do. What he wanted to do.
Duty.
Klaus gritted his teeth.
Mind’s Eye, and Acceleration.
Something inside his head felt like it had snapped, and his vision turned red. The continuous use of imprints was overloading his brain.
Klaus frantically grabbed the last three children and hurled himself toward the closing door.
-Boom!
He barely managed to throw himself outside before the massive door slammed shut behind him with a deafening thud.
Extreme exhaustion. He had never used the imprints this recklessly before.
But he couldn’t collapse here.
Klaus forced his trembling body upright and raised his sword.
Was it trying to cool his overloaded brain, or had some circuit in his mind simply broken?
Hot tears of blood flowed from his eyes.
He had to open the door again.
“......”
The door wouldn’t budge.
“......Thirin.”
Klaus fell into despair.