Chapter 5
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Happiness Apartment
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The next morning, I headed to the place So Boss had told me about.
It was one of those brunch cafes that sold soup as a meal replacement, along with pasta and bread. Normally, I avoided spots like this because the cost-performance ratio was terrible, but this time, the other party had requested it, so I had no choice.
'Let's see, she said I'd know them right away when I saw them.'
Ah, there they were.
I spotted the hulking figures in black suits holding down the corner of the brunch cafe and made my way over.
The atmosphere around them was so different it felt like some invisible barrier had been set up, but when I thought of them as my ticket to cash, even that awkwardness felt welcoming.
"Hello. I'm Kang Han-sik."
"······."
"······."
"······."
So I greeted them first with a smile.
But there was no response.
I could feel their gazes from behind those sunglasses, so they weren't blind or anything—they just weren't saying a word.
Seriously?
If So Boss hadn't warned me ahead of time, I might've thought I was greeting random strangers out of the blue.
But I wasn't the type to back down here.
For 200 million won, I could host a talk show in front of actual stone statues, not just these wooden men.
I pulled out the chair across from them and sat down.
"Sorry I'm late. There was a bit of traffic just up ahead."
"······."
"Have you already ordered coffee? If so, I can just get mine."
"······."
"Man, that guy standing in the back—I recognize him now. He was the one who picked up the bento that time. Remember? From Sauce Ne."
As I pulled out one technique after another from that 49 Ways to Break the Ice book I'd read while job hunting, their leader finally spoke up.
"Name."
"Pardon?"
"Say your name."
Why the hell was this guy talking like that?
"······I just said it. Kang Han-sik. You already know that, don't you?"
His hostile attitude made me push back a little.
But the man didn't budge and silently fiddled with his phone.
Then he played a familiar video and showed it to me.
"This guy here—you?"
"That's me."
Of course, the video playing on his phone was the one those assholes Yoru and Doru had filmed.
It was clear proof that I was the right guy.
I furrowed my brow and said to the thug in front of me,
"Look, we're gonna be working together, so could you maybe talk a little nicer···."
Bam!
But before I could finish, the thug slammed the table.
"Shut up and follow us. You've got work to do."
You fucking asshole.
I glared at the thug wagging his finger at me while I stayed seated.
No wonder things had been going too smoothly—I'd hooked up with the wrong crowd!
This guy was clearly raised on homework from Kumon teachers or some shit.
I was suddenly torn by massive inner conflict.
His attitude stank like dog shit—should I just say no and bail?
They were willing to pay a guy like me 200 million to handle a job, which meant it had to be something urgent they couldn't resolve on their own.
If I bailed now, it'd be like that awkward moment in a 5v5 friend match when the sub from the other class dips out midway.
It'd feel satisfying, sure, but the problem was the 200 million on the line.
200 million was enough to put up with most bullshit.
Especially for someone like me, scraping by on irregular gigs.
'Ro Boss! If only I'd met Ro Boss a year earlier!'
If my balance was 5 million instead of 500,000 won!
Then I could've kicked back this chair and bolted without a second thought!
It was right then, as I tightroped between petty pride and harsh reality.
Snap!
"Hey, you fucking prick!"
"?"
"Didn't I tell you not to ruin the mood?"
Someone stepped in to vent my frustration for me.
I turned to look, and there was a woman in tight black leather, holding a drink.
"S-sis, that's···."
"You think scaring people gets you everywhere, you fuck!"
Whack!
She slammed down a caramel macchiato piled high with whipped cream and started beating the shit out of the guy who'd just been talking to me.
"Why! You! Fucking! Idiot! Can't! You! Get it!"
"Good! Hit him good! Don't just go for the shoulder—bash his head too! Head! The impact feels amazing! Oh, a good smack to the face? Nice!"
I immediately clapped and cheered her on.
She clearly outranked them, so if she handled my job for me, that'd be perfect.
And true to her line of work, she was nailing him right in the sore spots.
'Almost like those flash games where you smash cars!'
If this hit Steam as an indie game, it'd easily pull 2,000 concurrent players.
I could slap in a bunch of skins for DLC sales.
Stuff like vicious cat-mom auntie or balding Park from accounting—channel all the world's rage my way.
Hell, it might even snag Indie GOTY.
As those thoughts ran through my head, the merciless beating finally stopped.
"I said I'd talk to him myself from the start, didn't I?"
"B-but sis, what were we supposed to do when he showed up before you got here? We even said we'd pick up the drinks ourselves from the beginning."
"You idiots scare the staff! Take off those damn sunglasses indoors!"
"······But you said our faces are ugly, so cover them up."
"Shut it. One more word, and you won't walk home tonight."
"······Yes, ma'am."
Snap!
Then she smacked the back of his head one more time.
Finally, her gaze landed on me.
"Whew, sorry about that. My boys are a rough bunch."
I smiled back at her.
"Ah, yeah. They look the type."
"Pardon?"
Pardon what?
"Just looking at these guys screams 'bad at school.' Bet they'd freak if they ranked in the bottom five back in the day."
"Haha, you're funny. With your face, I'd figure you'd just say they're fine."
"I do look kind and upright. But facts are facts. Still, I saw you beat them up, so no hard feelings."
Making a fuss about that might make my 200 million vanish too.
I swallowed those words, and she chuckled before responding.
"Is that so? Guess I owe you thanks. Anyway, nice to meet you. I'm Han So-yeon, one of the apostles serving Her Majesty Hippolyte. You're Kang Han-sik, right?"
"Ah, yes. Kang Han-sik. I'm···."
Hmm.
What should I say?
I didn't have a constellation intro to throw back.
I pondered for a sec and came up with something plausible.
"An employee at Sauce Ne and Happiness Apartment."
Part-timers count as full workers under labor law, after all.
It felt a bit lame, but better than nothing.
Good thing her expression was dead serious, unexpectedly.
"······An employee."
She muttered it stone-faced and nodded.
That alone told me she was a good person.
Tell that to your class reunion—"What do you do these days?" "Guard apartments by day, deliver bentos at night lol"—and you'd get laughed at.
'Is this that bad cop good cop routine I've heard about?'
Had I fallen for her good cop act already?
Of course, that didn't mean I'd discount the fee.
We weren't old pals; this was a business deal from the start. Gotta collect the full promised pay.
So I spoke first to the serious-faced Han So-yeon.
"So, you wanted to see me?"
"Ah? Yes."
"Mind telling me what it's about?"
Build more rapport before my evil urge to slash the price kicked in.
Luckily, she didn't notice and replied.
"Of course. That's what I came for."
She took a sip of her caramel macchiato and began.
There was some preamble info and boring, pretentious explanations, but the gist was simpler than expected.
"So, you want me to go underground and find an item?"
Head to some basement and retrieve one item.
Of course, they wouldn't hire me if it was ordinary.
"Yes, exactly—it's not a normal basement, but the basement of a polluted tower. And the item is pretty important to us Hunters."
"What exactly is it?"
"Can't say yet. But it's not that hard to find. We even pinpointed the location, but we don't have anyone who can get there right now."
Got it.
In short: short-staffed, so pay an outsider to shove into the danger zone.
'Jackpot.'
It was sweeter than sweet for me.
I knew nothing of the pollution others feared or the traces of evil constellations.
Just look at that young guy who'd freaked out over a leg worth over 100 million.
He'd screamed like the world was ending, but all I'd seen was a flying aquarium.
'Not a place people live, so like a haunted house? Find one lost item there for 200 million?'
For real?
Why bother with jobs?
Why stocks?
Why crypto?
One haunted house run and money duplicates.
I suppressed the urge to break out b-boying right there.
Show too much excitement, and the pay might drop.
When handling tough jobs for others, act like it's tough for you too.
'Prevents backlash later.'
That's why assholes stiff delivery drivers—they think pros make it look easy.
Scowling and haggling hard, Han So-yeon spoke first.
"I know it's no easy task. But it's really urgent."
Figured.
Why else pay 200 mil for lost and found?
"Anything else you want as compensation? We'll meet your conditions as best we can."
"Sigh···."
Hearing exactly what I wanted, I took a deep breath like I'd made up my mind and replied.
"The reward's plenty as is."
Feels like I said something similar yesterday.
"······You'll do it?"
"I'll take the job."
"Thank you!"
And her reaction was similar too.
Han So-yeon's face lit up instantly.
Whatever my situation, they'd solved their impossible task with money.
She grinned, not hiding her joy.
"You lot, bow your heads. What are you doing?"
"······Thank you."
"Thank you, sis."
She even forced the thugs' heads down for bows. I waved it off casually.
My mood matched hers right now.
If I'd gotten the advance already, I might've called her my third boss.
'That fucker Lu Bu.'
Dad three times over?
So what.
I have three bosses.
Tripling my pay.
Duplicating money.
Just as I thought the deal was wrapping up,
"Then I'll send the date and location to your···."
Han So-yeon, mid-sentence about details, suddenly stopped.
"······Pardon? Your Majesty. What do you mean?"
"Verify···. Yes. Yes."
"Really? But···."
Followed by mutterings.
She wasn't the type to talk to herself for fun.
'Constellation?'
Probably her patron—Hippolyte or whatever queen.
She'd called herself the queen's apostle.
High-ranking enough for direct line, no surprise.
These days, most mutterings were constellation chats anyway.
I waited for her to finish and asked,
"Everything okay?"
"······Her Majesty wants to verify your ability."
Ah.
That makes sense.
Quality check before buying—totally normal.
Even for services.
Usually check reviews, but I was a zero-review side gig known via connection.
Practical test? Fair enough.
But one issue.
"Sorry to ask, but could you come with us for a bit?"
"That might be tough."
"Why?"
Well.
"Gotta head to the apartment. On duty by ten."
New cashflow important, but loyalty to current bosses too.
And with morning timing, only 30 minutes left.
'After that talk with Ro Boss yesterday.'
Can't be late day two.
Punctuality matters—especially with friends.
I politely declined, suggesting another day, when
Han So-yeon asked first.
"Wait, apartment—Happiness Apartment?"
"Yeah. Like I said, employee there."
"······Right. Then, can we tag along?"
Huh.
What?
Why crash my workplace···.
'······Oh.'
They sought me out because I'm Happiness Apartment staff.
So verify ability there?
'But Ro Boss might hate outsiders.'
She seemed allergic to them.
'Guard booth might be okay?'
Outermost spot—visible from off-property.
That far, I nodded.
"Fine by me, but no entering the grounds."
"Got it. Won't happen."
We left the cafe together.
Was gonna bus it, but they had a ride, so I hopped in.
'Ferrari.'
The kind I'd need years to afford a ride in.
Confirmed she was big-time.
Though even she yielded the back seat to me.
"After you."
"Thanks."
Savoring seat comfort I'd never known, the thug at the wheel—the one who'd gotten smacked—spoke cautiously.
"Sis··· is this okay?"
"It's fine. Just checking nearby."
"Still."
"Queen's orders. Drive."
"Yes."
Their doomsday convo was hilarious.
'What drama queens.'
To me, it was just a rundown apartment for a rich, pretty, timid, busty, nice girl.
Oh right.
Forgot to search the apartment's rep.
'Whatever.'
Sticking around anyway—no need for digging.
Whatever the world said, I wanted under Ro Boss.
Moments later,
We arrived near the apartment.
"I'll wait here. Be careful."
"Yeah. Back soon—hang tight."
"Good luck."
Good luck my ass.
I led the resolute Han So-yeon inside.
But soon after,
Tremble tremble.
"Huff, huff."
Just as the Ferrari vanished from sight,
Han So-yeon shuddered, breathing ragged.
She looked bad.
Like Doru (the male of Yoru-Doru) last time, seizing up?
That views-mad psycho, I could've dragged out and tossed.
But not her—client, and a woman.
Force it and risk assault charges? Disaster.
'Doesn't seem the type, but···.'
People differ inside and out—no certainties.
"Hey, you okay?"
I checked on her.
And that moment,
"Hic, sob."
Tears suddenly streamed from Han So-yeon's eyes.
?
The fuck?
I was straight-up baffled.
She was no ordinary woman—beating thugs, built tough.
Amazon queen's apostle, right?
No way she'd just burst into tears, even emotional.
I asked her,
"Hey? Han So-yeon? Hear me?"
"S-save, p-please save me."
"Pardon?"
"Please, I wanna live. Please."
No matter how she begged!
I had zero clue what the problem was!
What was I supposed to save her from how!
"Han So-yeon! Anything wrong? Tell me directly if something's off."
"Ahh··· Mom. Where's Mom."
Tried confirming, but no dice.
She was seeing something else, calling for parents now.
This sucks.
Drag and dump for real?
Deal breaker?
Those thugs?
Watch their boss dragged out crying by a guy and do nothing? Believe "walked a few steps, cried for help"?
'No.'
I shook my head.
Unavoidable contact and fallout? Last resort.
Think.
Reason for her freakout.
Even those psycho Yoru-Doru got closer without total meltdown.
They spazzed midway, but entrance didn't derange them.
So tougher Han So-yeon freaking here—not just the apartment.
'What changed?'
Something···.
"Meow."
Then I noticed the black cat rubbing against her boot.
A thought flashed.
No way.
Weird idea, but.
Could it be?
To me, just a cuddly kitty.
"······You the culprit?"
On a hunch, I grabbed its scruff and lifted.
"Nyaang."
The eye-contact cat mewled cutely, paws flailing.
"Heup!"
Han So-yeon collapsed limp.
Hiss···.
What happened next? Better not say for her dignity.
But result?
Interview passed.
On condition of ironclad secrecy.