I Discovered the Rules of Enhancement!
"No! Give me a proper enhancement, you fraud!"
"Nope. Why would I?"
She had it coming.
Still snickering, CEO Hyun-ji wiped the tears from her eyes and added, "Pfft, pfft... I mean, if you carry a sparkly weapon around, your popularity's gonna soar, but you really should give enhancement a try, y'knooow~ You came to me all on your own, like a beta tester askin' for it."
"My wand is not some toy, CEO ma'am!"
The Brat blew up at her, but Hyun-ji just flashed that sly smile of hers. "Hee hee, so what, you're gonna keep haulin' it around like thaaat? It'll get you plenty of attention, sure — but for an assassin-type magical girl, that's one hell of a debuff, nooo?"
"Y-you little...!"
At that, the Brat gritted her teeth and reluctantly set the anti-materiel rifle back down. The sparkle actually looked pretty nice, honestly.
Meanwhile, Hyun-ji turned to me with a question. "How it went just nooow, and how it went when you enhanced Seo-yoon's gloves back theeen — was there any difference?"
Hmm... now that she mentioned it, just now I'd completely emptied my brain and let the enhancement do whatever it wanted. Seo-yoon's gloves, on the other hand, I'd done with the explicit thought of 'make them sturdy enough that nobody looks down on her.'
"I think it comes down to what I was thinking. When I enhanced Seo-yoon, I had a specific idea in mind — make her sturdy. But with the rifle just now, there wasn't really anything like that. I just figured whatever happens, happens."
"Hey! You enhanced my wand like that?"
"You called me a fraud, so I figured I'd live up to it."
"Ugh...!"
While the Brat stumbled back a step, thoroughly stabbed through the heart, Hyun-ji closed her eyes and sank into thought. "Hmmm..." Then, before long, that sly grin crept back onto her face. "Not enough data yet to say for suuure. So this time, how about you enhance it while thinking about something!"
...So in other words, enhance it. Got it.
Hmm, but how am I supposed to enhance a gun? I fired one back in my army days, sure, but I never really knew guns.
Well, the owner knows best. Let's just ask the Brat.
"How would you like me to enhance it?"
"Stronger, no matter what! Stronger than anything! Strong enough to one-shot most Anomalies into oblivion!"
...Yeah, figured as much. Raw firepower worship to the end, huh?
Alright then... how about 'so it can fire even more devastating magical power.' Let's go with that. Bring it on, hammer!
Mind made up, I brought the hammer down — and this time, a heavy, inky-black light coiled around the anti-materiel rifle.
A moment later, when the glow faded, the rifle was still sparkling away.
The Brat eyed the glittering thing with narrowed, suspicious eyes. "Hey... you didn't cheat this time either, did you?"
Ha. Looking at her, I was almost tempted to start actually cheating.
Thankfully, Hyun-ji snorted. "Relaaax. The firepower definitely went up. We'll know for sure once we run the tests later."
Then she pointed a finger at the still-sparkling effect(?) and needled her some more. "But ooh, that glitter still won't go awaaay~"
The moment Hyun-ji poked at that sore spot, the Brat flared up again. "That's my point! How am I supposed to fight Anomalies like this?! It's basically broadcasting 'I'm right here!' to every Anomaly in the area!"
"That's not the important part, nooow. What matters is that enhancements can stack."
...Huh?
Now that I looked, the glitter effect really hadn't gone anywhere.
So did it just go from +1 to +2? Because if so, that's an absolute steal.
"So enhancements can stack on top of each other, then?"
"That's what it looks liiike?"
"What happens if I enhance it again in the same direction?"
Hyun-ji answered with yet another sly grin. "Dunno~ I'm only guessing at the general shape of it. The ability is yours, so you'd know better than me, nooow wouldn't you?"
So basically: find out the hard way. Fine, let's give it another shot.
Hammering down with the exact same thought as before.
Ting.
The hammer struck — and nothing happened.
...Huh? No light? No feeling of magic draining away, either.
"Hmmm... looks like it won't enhance after aaall."
"Seems that way."
So enhancing in the same direction is impossible? Or do I need to try a different method? Or maybe thinking-based enhancements only work once, or can only be overwritten? I'd have to verify the details later.
Hyun-ji suggested a different approach this time. "Then how about going in blank-minded again, liiike before?"
Empty brain, huh... Maybe to check whether the glitter option gets replaced or something?
I'd already confirmed two successes — and yes, the glitter counted as a success. It humiliated the Brat, after all — and one failure.
But stopping now would feel exactly like rolling the worst possible option and closing the enhancement window with it still equipped. Couldn't do it.
I have absolutely no thoughts. I am thinking nothing at all.
KA-CHING! The hammer kissed the rifle, and this time that same rainbow light from before wound itself around the barrel.
Oh, did it work?
When the light receded a moment later, the rifle had stopped sparkling altogether, and the glittering star-dust effect around the muzzle was gone too. A little bit of a shame, honestly.
Hyun-ji studied the rifle for a moment, then snorted. "The sparkle's gone, but it doesn't look like the firepower changed anyyy?"
"Yeah, whatever! No more glitter and I'm satisfied!"
Apparently in a much better mood now, the Brat's mouth curled up on one side, and she reached for the rifle right away.
And then—
BWAAAAAAM!
The instant her hand touched it, a deafening trumpet blast rang out.
"Pfft!"
"Khh...!"
Laughter burst out of me and Hyun-ji at the exact same moment.
"The glitter — sorry, the polish option — vanished, and a trumpet sound took its place. So it looks like blank-minded enhancements all compete for the same slot."
"Sooo it really is random enhancement~ No tellin' what's gonna attach next, eeeh?"
Oh, wait. Doesn't that make this exactly like the cube enhancement from that Mushroom Kingdom game? The one where your potential options scramble into total chaos every time you slam a cube into your gear. The one where you have to roll hundreds of times just to fish a single usable option out of an ocean of garbage.
Except here, cubes don't even cost anything — one flick of the hammer with leftover magic and you're done?
...That's an absolute steal, isn't it?
"What are you doing! Get rid of that trumpet sound already! My ears are bleeding, you lunatic!"
"And this time?"
I emptied my mind again and gave the rifle a light tap.
A brief flash of light, and then—
"Hnngh?!"
The Brat's whole body swayed, arms trembling as if she were hauling a massive shipment up a flight of stairs.
"Hey! Why did this thing get so heavy?! Are you messing with me, fraud?!"
"Pfft, pffhahahaha! The gun got heavy this time!"
At the sight of Hyun-ji doubling over yet again, the Brat beat her chest like she was about to combust, then exploded. "CEO! Is this funny to you?! How am I supposed to carry this thing around!"
"Aww, it's hilariouuus. And hey, it beats glitter or a trumpet blast by a mile, nooow doesn't it?"
"AAARGH!"
She had it coming. Again. Thoroughly.
Meanwhile, the Brat was still panting and shouting. "Then do it again! I can't carry this! It feels twice as heavy!"
"Really?"
Really? If I can roll it again, I'm all for it!
But the Brat went pale and scrambled back a step. "N-no, wait! Sorry! The CEO's right! This is better than glitter or trumpets, like before!"
Tch. Could've squeezed one more roll out of that.
Then Hyun-ji snickered. "Wouldn't it be better to fire it a few more times before decidiiiing? If I'm right, that weight's a trade-off you can live with~"
"...CEO? *Haaah*... Fine. But the fraud carries it, then."
Pawning your own wand off on someone else. In the army, if you'd handed your rifle off like that, you'd have been lugging it around all day, you know.
"Carry it yourself."
Some people need a stint in the military to learn anything, honestly.
And so the three of us headed down to the training room on basement level one. The same cavernous space greeted us as before, and Hyun-ji, moving with practiced ease, pressed a few buttons on the wall panel. A magical barrier unfolded, and several dummies descended from the ceiling — plastic targets.
"Alright, fire a shot at the target! Eeek, just looking at targets makes me wanna draw my bow agaaain~"
Without so much as a reply, the Brat dropped onto the floor, settled into position, braced the anti-materiel rifle, and readied her shot. Though I'll admit, the grunting and groaning as she wrestled herself into position was rather funny. She staggered just setting it down, and when she hoisted the rifle even slightly, it creaked under its own weight.
At last, a blue streak far more vivid than anything I'd seen before traced its trajectory across the room and punched clean through the dummy. A smoking black hole sat square in its shoulder.
"Whoa, that's kinda strong?! It's definitely different!"
The voice so thick with spite moments ago was now a good two octaves higher.
Man, she really is simple.
But when the Brat hoisted the rifle again, her face crumpled under the weight as she wailed, "Still, isn't this way too heavy?! Make it light again!"
Ugh, seriously. I boost her firepower and she's complaining again.
Simple, brainless, and a pain in the ass, all in one package. You're not the Brat anymore — you're Radish now. Radish it is.
"Want me to slap glitter or a trumpet back on it? Or who knows what bizarre option might roll in this time. Maybe one that makes your bullets swerve wherever they feel like."
That tiny threat turned Radish's mouth into a puckered little seam. Fair enough, really — the shots fly wild already, and this was better than the glitter. Not much she could say.
Ahh, deeply satisfying.
Hearing Radish's grumbling, Hyun-ji laced her fingers behind her head and said, easygoing as ever, "Well, guns have recoil, y'knooow. Even if they fire with magic. And yet your firepower shot way up while the recoil stayed the saaaame, didn't it?"
Radish's mouth hung open blankly at the observation before she blurted something rather dumb. "...Oh?"
"The gun got heavier, so the recoil got lighter too. Sure, carrying it around'll be a paiiin — but it's not like magical girl strength can't manage it, nooow~"
"...It's still heavy, though. How am I supposed to dodge Anomaly attacks holding this thing?"
"You just adapt, thaaat's all. Normally, to gain one thing, you have to lose another, y'knooow. There's no such thing as a free lunch, nooow~"
Come to think of it, she kept dropping these loaded little lines back during our duel too. Still, getting stronger is a good thing, isn't it? Even in games, you just pay money and enhance your way to power.
Having said her piece, Hyun-ji studied me for a moment with an odd look in her eyes. "By the way, about when you enhanced it with your mind blaaank."
"Yes?"
"I don't think the results are truly random, you seeee."
What's that supposed to mean?
"Tell me — were you perhaps thinking that powerful weapons have to sparkle, or be loud, or be heavy?"
Hmm... maybe? In games, strong weapons definitely do sparkle and come with flashy effects.
And weapons are usually heavier the stronger they are, right? In games, the big greatswords were always the ones with the highest attack.
Though that's just my thinking, of course.
When I nodded, Hyun-ji smiled her trademark smile, as if she'd expected exactly that. "So it's probably not fully random after aaall. It seems to spit out whatever's tumbling around in your subconscious, Yeon-sol~ Which means the odds of disaster — like feathers sprouting on the rifle, or it suddenly turning into a snack cracker — are probably looow?"
"...Probably low? But listening to you, I guess it does track."
"Anything is possiiiible~"
Ugh, you slippery snake.
Meanwhile, Radish, having overheard the explanation, scratched her cheek, stared at me for a long moment, and finally licked her lips. "...I'll put it to good use. Turns out you're not a fraud — you're an artisan."
There wasn't a trace of the hostility and fury from before in her eyes. And with a faint flush creeping up her cheeks... was she a little embarrassed?
Tch. Still, I felt kind of proud. Just a tiny bit.
"Well, now that you know, that's that."
"Then do it one more time."
What now, seriously?!
"...I just did it for you!"
"It could get even stronger, why would you stop!"
Oh, this Radish, I swear!
"You saw it wouldn't enhance anymore, didn't you? Learn to be satisfied and use what you've got, Radish."
Crap. The nickname in my head slipped right out of my mouth.
Radish blinked a few times, then asked, utterly baffled, "Radish? Me? Why Radish?"
Apparently she didn't get the reference.
...If I told her it stood for simple, brainless, and a shit-stirrer, she'd obviously throw a fit over that too, right?
"It means the one who fires a terrifying strike in a single shoooot... a sniper."
"I feel like I heard something weird in the middle of that?"
I parried the observation as smoothly as I could manage. "Well, going with 'Radisher' would've sounded lame, right? I just forced the fit."
"Ahaha! So that's what it was? You secretly think pretty highly of me, huh?"
Phew, barely slipped through. ...Though I've picked up a rather strange misunderstanding along the way.
Having weathered the crisis, Hyun-ji flashed me a mischievous smile. "Nooow then, time to welcome our next client, shaaan't we?"
Already?
Catching my exhausted look, Hyun-ji added, sly as ever, "No woooories. If you'd rather not, we'll take things slow. Still, I thought you'd want to hear this one out."
With that, she held up her phone screen. Under the name Jiyun, a single text message glowed on the display.
Jiyun...? Who's that?
Seeing the question on my face, Hyun-ji explained. "The one and only elementary schooler at our office."
Oh, the kid hugging that teddy bear during the compulsory-education stint?
"But Piyu, you say..."
"Yep, her plushie — and her wand. Sooo, what do you say? Wanna give it a try?"
...Hmmm.
It's not just anyone — it's that little squirt, after all... Should I do it for her anyway?
It'd be another chance to test my ability, and she's barely ten years old. I wanted to help her out, too.
And there was something different about this request compared to all the ones before it.
It wasn't make it stronger. It was I don't want my precious friend to hurt anymore.
Strange as it sounds, a little strength crept into the hand gripping the hammer.
It was absolutely, absolutely not because I was dying to run another enhancement. Absolutely not.
"Hee hee, and what's with the way you're handling that hammer, like you're already looking forward to iiiit?"
"Be quiet."
Still, just doing whatever people ask isn't in my nature. Work like a sucker for free and I'd be the one starving, wouldn't I?
"I have a condition."