Just Face It Head-On
Atop the hill overlooking Anton Village.
The place had somehow become one of his regular haunts, and Juhan sat on a nearby stump, trying to sort through his thoughts.
…Is accepting Divine Power really the only way?
Carlton had said the problem would be solved by covering the target with Divine Power. Ever since hearing that answer, Juhan's head had been a complete mess.
Carlton, of course, had no idea that the thing being detected was Juhan himself, so he had tossed the suggestion out without a second thought…
Does that even make sense?
Juhan swallowed a hollow laugh without meaning to.
Accepting Divine Power as a solution. That force was something that could only be called his complete opposite.
His certainty on the matter was simple enough. The original novel had said as much.
A power meant to praise the gods—and at the same time, a power meant to cast out the enemies of the gods. That was the fundamental nature of Divine Power in this world.
And by anyone's measure, Juhan stood at the farthest possible pole from that force.
His jaw tightened.
The moment he laid the thought out cleanly in his mind, his face twisted of its own accord. He felt trapped—with no idea how he was supposed to work his way out of this situation.
I already asked Carlton to keep investigating the metal plates, but that doesn't mean I can just sit around with my hands folded.
He let out a quiet sigh and stared blankly down at Anton Village.
That was when it happened.
…Hm?
Something began to move at the edge of his vision. Someone was walking up the hill toward him.
A villager?
That was his first assumption. The path saw almost no traffic, but it wasn't as though no one ever used it at all.
"……."
The closer the figure came, though, the stranger Juhan's expression grew.
That person is definitely…?
Familiar golden hair. A confident, unapologetic stride that made no attempt whatsoever to hide her presence.
Confirming every detail, Juhan felt a sudden, violent urge to simply shut his eyes.
What does she even want from me…
His head was already starting to throb. In this moment more than any other, he had wanted to gather his thoughts without a single interruption.
And of all people, he had just run into the absolute number one candidate for the most headache-inducing encounter imaginable.
Footsteps approached, steady and unhurried.
Before long, Estelle was close enough that he could make out the expression on her face. She, of course, would have been able to see his just as clearly.
"So this is where you were."
"……."
"You could at least say something before you wander off. Why do you hate being in the village so much?"
Without the faintest hesitation she walked right up beside him and dropped herself down at his side. It was a casual, unfussy motion hard to reconcile with the daughter of a ducal house—or with nobility at all.
But Juhan still said nothing, and Estelle tilted her head as if something felt off.
"What? Why do you look like that?"
"…It's nothing."
"You've got something on your mind, don't you?"
"I don't."
He only shook his head, as if telling her not to bother.
Estelle, however, treated his refusal like so much noise and pressed on without mercy.
"Liar."
"……."
"Don't even start with that."
She prodded his cheek with her index finger.
"Right here. It's all scrunched up way more than usual."
Reflexively he turned his head and met her eyes.
Estelle's expression, when he looked, was no different from any other day. She was watching him with an openly delighted smile, as if she were thoroughly enjoying herself.
"What, is it because I said we should go north together?"
The question—whether it was because of her—made him pause and think for a moment before he shook his head.
"…That's a pretty big part of it, yeah. But not all of it."
If Estelle had truly tried to drag him north by force, Juhan had already planned to throw the Saintess's name around. Something along the lines of: the Saintess herself has invited me, and I mean to place myself under the protection of the Holy Kingdom…
Surely even Estelle wouldn't try to haul him off by force if the Saintess had personally extended the invitation. Or so he had figured.
"Is that so? Then fine."
Hearing his answer, Estelle only nodded to herself with a private little smile, as if that settled the matter. Surprisingly, nothing further followed from her.
On any ordinary day she would already have been jabbing him in the side and refusing to let go of whatever was wrong. Instead she simply sat quietly at his side, looking down over the hill the same way he was.
The wind rushed past, and for a stretch of time its sound was the only thing filling the space between them.
It was Estelle, of course, who broke the silence first.
"Juhan."
"…Yeah?"
"This might be overstepping, but—don't just sit there worrying yourself to death."
He looked at her in quiet surprise, as if to ask what that was supposed to mean all of a sudden.
"When a person keeps clinging to the same thought over and over, eventually the thought ends up swallowing them whole."
"……."
"I was like that once. Mm, it's a little hard to explain, but… I guess I felt miserable about my fate?"
It wasn't the teasing, playful voice she usually wore. That alone made Estelle feel strangely unfamiliar to him.
She fell quiet for a moment, looking as though she were weighing how much she was allowed to say.
"Descendant of the Hero."
"……."
She let out a short, dry laugh and tugged one corner of her mouth up, as if asking whether it wasn't absurd.
"Everyone talks about it like it's such a wonderful thing. How envious they are that I get to walk such a glorious path."
An emotion he couldn't quite name mixed into her voice.
"When I was little, I liked it too."
She had once felt the same way, she said.
And of course she would have. The hero who had saved the continent—his name was still legend even now. Being that man's descendant would have filled anyone with pride.
"I just didn't know what came after."
"……."
"The pressure from everyone around me to live up to the name Valter."
In profile, her lips worked with a faintly bitter look.
"Everywhere I went, people compared me. Whatever I did, they expected something from me. Mistakes weren't even an option."
She gave a brief shrug, as if to say, funny, right?
"At first I tried to prove it, of course. That I was special. That I was worthy of the name."
She paused, then went on.
"But at some point, I just… stopped knowing."
"…Knowing what?"
"What I actually wanted."
She turned to look at him again as she spoke. At some point the two of them had locked eyes.
"I started thinking I didn't want to live as the Valter everyone else wanted—I just wanted to live as me. As Estelle."
He had no particular answer for her.
"But no answer ever came. Not even after years of thinking about it."
"…So what did you do?"
"I just gave up."
"What?"
She nodded as casually as if that had been the only reasonable choice.
"Worrying alone doesn't solve anything. If anything, I just sank deeper into it."
"……."
"So I just moved. I started doing the things I wanted to do. I had no idea how the situation would change—but I figured I had to try anyway."
She turned her gaze back toward the village, then spoke to him again.
"…It's a little embarrassing saying all this out of nowhere, but what I really wanted to tell you is this."
She seemed to be choosing her next words carefully.
"Don't overthink it. Don't jump to conclusions and scare yourself in advance. Honestly, just throwing yourself at it once isn't so bad."
"……."
She went on, her voice even and unadorned.
"I don't know what you're actually worrying about, so maybe this just sounds ridiculous from where you're sitting."
"…Not entirely."
She looked at him again. Then she spoke with a broad, easy grin, as if telling him not to worry.
"Or you can lean on me, if you want."
"……."
"I can handle most things, you know. And if I put you in my debt, I don't think you'd just pretend not to know me."
He let out a short, incredulous laugh at that.
"Pfft—what's so funny?"
"…Nothing. Just."
Estelle watched him and smiled back, looking thoroughly entertained.
For the first time, it felt as though some of the fog in his head was starting to clear. He had a rough idea, at least, of what he needed to do next.
Estelle was right. Sitting here fretting would never let him take control of the situation.
Even if the attempt ended in failure, it would still be better than doing nothing at all.
The wind swept past. The mood was peaceful enough that, without quite meaning to, Juhan turned to her and asked something with no real caution at all.
"Estelle."
"Hm?"
"That thing you said yesterday… were you serious?"
"Serious? About what?"
She looked back at him as if she had no idea what he meant. His question followed right after.
"About going north together. About dragging me there by force if you had to."
"Ah. That."
She nodded at once.
"Of course I was serious."
"……."
"What, did you think I was joking?"
When he only stared at her without a word, she raised her brows as if she were the one who found the whole thing absurd.
"Don't tell me you actually thought you could get away from me."