The Girl in the Mirror
Maybe it was because I had gone to bed early without any real motivation to do anything else. I woke up earlier than usual, thought about checking the community out of habit, then immediately dropped the idea. The certainty that posting some random nonsense would only invite weird comments popped into my head at the same time as the question of why I would even bother browsing the community if that was the case.
Still half-asleep, I decided it would be a waste to crawl back into bed after waking up so early, so I forced myself to stand. When I cracked the window open, the sun was slowly crawling its way toward the top of the sky, peeking its head between the buildings of the city. The dawn air that hadn’t warmed up yet carried a slight chill.
“Huaa…”
At first I had thought having two bathrooms was a little excessive, but after only two days the realization that having one in the master bedroom was this convenient proved humans really are creatures of adaptation.
My mouth felt bone-dry, so I stood in front of the sink intending to at least brush my teeth. A girl with half-dazed eyes stared back at me through the mirror. As I fixed the shirt that had slipped off my shoulder, the words of that Confucian dragon who had thrown a fit yesterday floated up and circled inside my head.
“…No matter how I look at it, it doesn’t feel particularly indecent.”
If I wanted to wear properly fitted clothes, I would probably need a bra at minimum. There were several pairs of panties in the closet, but no bras—probably because they required knowing the exact size. Feeling grateful once again to Sang-jun’s mom, I decided to place an order today.
Suddenly the thought crossed my mind: Is it okay for someone who used to be a guy to think so casually about buying a bra? But then again, humans really are animals of adaptation…
“Come to think of it, this is kind of unfair.”
Recalling Woojin’s nonstop nagging throughout last night’s dinner, I squeezed the toothpaste tube hard. It wasn’t like I had asked to look like this. It wasn’t like I had been dressed indecently. What right did a guy who had no idea how a woman living alone usually dressed at home have to lecture me—
“Ah, is it the same for me?”
Lost in that self-contradiction, I could only blankly move the toothbrush for several minutes. There was no one I could ask about this, so it seemed it would remain an eternal dilemma. Never mind female acquaintances—I barely had anyone I could even call a close friend.
“…Ptoo.”
The toothpaste foam I spat into the sink bubbled for a moment before slowly vanishing. It felt exactly like it was telling me how meaningless my current worries were.
“70B… that should be about right.”
After somehow pulling myself together, I couldn’t help feeling like I was doing something slightly inappropriate. The clock in the corner of the monitor already read 9:30.
It was still early and no streamers were on air, so I decided to handle what I could right away. I bought a measuring tape from the nearby convenience store and spent a full thirty minutes measuring my chest size while watching YouTube. Measuring my chest was one thing, but actually spending my own money on women’s underwear gave me a strangely complicated feeling.
“…There’s no point putting it off.”
Auntie had prepared various clothes, but I needed to buy things in advance for the changing seasons. Considering all the upcoming expenses, it might be smart to line up a part-time job early. No—if I factored in repaying what I owed Woojin, I really needed to start living more diligently…
“Haa.”
With a sigh I clicked the purchase complete button. A text message instantly arrived on my phone confirming the web payment. Just to be sure, I checked my bank balance; the number staring back at me firmly reinforced that this was no time to live lazily.
My will shrinks pathetically in the face of harsh reality…
“I used to say stuff like ‘It must be nice to live if you’re pretty and handsome~’ whenever I was bored.”
I slowly ran my fingers down my face, from cheek to chin. I hadn’t taken special care of it, yet the texture of my unusually smooth cheeks felt strangely addictive. Just kneading the soft flesh seemed like it would melt stress away.
“…Though that only works when there aren’t many pretty or handsome people to begin with.”
If I had any confidence in my speaking skills or talents, maybe I would have tried streaming too. The image of Yorumi suddenly came to mind; I let go of my cheek and let out a small chuckle. If my personality had been decent enough for that, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place—what was I even thinking just because my face got a little nicer?
“Who am I to talk?”
Enough with the self-pity. Since I woke up early, I might as well look for a part-time job. I should revise the resume I had saved, too. As for the afternoon… well, I could worry about that when it arrived.
The tab that had been displaying women’s clothing brands instantly switched to a job search site. Appearance really did help with job hunting no matter what, so the thought that I could now apply to customer-facing positions I had never dared consider before eased my mind a little.
The messenger app delivered Yorumi’s DM the exact moment I opened the resume writing page.
Yorumi judged that it was a pretty decent excuse for something she had thrown together on the spot. She hadn’t shown it, but she had been genuinely disappointed when Han Seol appeared with the voice changer on.
Still, it wasn’t impossible to understand. It wasn’t rare for users to hide their gender to avoid getting entangled with people who flirted for no reason. She had seen plenty of people who later said it felt awkward once their real voice started coming out of their character.
Even so, disappointment was still disappointment. The reason Yorumi had grown interested in her was precisely that voice which didn’t match the vicious-looking avatar. A voice that was gentle yet carried a strangely fragile quality. On top of that, the confident way she spoke—as if she thought she still had the voice changer on—made Yorumi want to hear it again no matter what.
It wasn’t like she had forced anything, right? She hadn’t insisted on hearing the real voice in-game, right? Since Han Seol had even said she would bring her headset, it must mean she was okay with it. So this much should be fine, right? Yorumi repeated these excuses—unsure who they were even for—and tried hard not to notice the way her own lips kept curling upward.
Spinning the familiar dagger in her hand for no reason, Yorumi’s gaze bored into the message window floating at the edge of her vision. Arcadia Online probably hadn’t implemented such detailed physical reactions, yet the tension made her feel like cold sweat was running down her back.
In that brief moment she adjusted the position of the drone filming her. She didn’t know the full story, but she was genuinely sincere about wanting to learn from Han Seol—who was clearly far beyond an ordinary player—and win the upcoming tournament. Separately from that, now that they had formed a personal connection, she also really wanted to look good in front of her.
At an angled side view so her movements would show clearly. And if possible, in a composition that made her look pretty. As she carefully adjusted the drone’s position, the messenger app rang with an inorganic melody, signaling an incoming voice call. Default profile image. The nickname “Hanseol,” simply her own name written in English letters.
“Hello…?”
Yorumi’s voice trembled slightly when she accepted the call. Their history together had been so long and messy that the sudden worry—What if what I heard back then was just my imagination and a deep male voice comes out here too?—flashed through her mind.
The girl’s soft, slightly sleepy drawl tickled Yorumi’s ear. Yorumi almost let her lips curl into a huge grin without realizing it; remembering the drone was still filming her, she quickly bowed her head deeply.
She prayed the other girl wouldn’t notice her strangely trembling shoulders.
“Ah, no! It’s just… it felt awkward thinking that voice was coming from Park Woojin’s 13th Shadow-nim.”
Oops. If the other person valued role-playing, maybe that kind of remark was no good. Yorumi realized it a beat too late, but she was too busy trying to hold back the laughter leaking out to have any energy left for damage control.
The voice she heard from Han Seol again was far cuter than what Yorumi’s memory—faded overnight—had recalled.