The Proper Way to Handle Ren
I stole sips from the captain's drink sitting on the table.
"So basically…"
"Ah, yeees…"
Huey's story was dragging on and on, and Marie couldn't quite bring herself to cut him off. I watched her standing there, cold sweat beading on her face, looking thoroughly cornered.
"That aside, Ren."
"Hm?"
While I was taking a short break, Lucy called out to me in a careful little voice.
"What is your relationship with her?"
"Me and Marie?"
"Yes. I don't believe I've ever seen you use an honorific with anyone else."
…Come to think of it, she was right. Outside of Marie, there really wasn't anyone I bothered attaching an honorific to.
"Just… it kind of happened that way."
It wasn't like there was some big reason for it. And it wasn't exactly something I felt like explaining to other people, either.
"It's just more comfortable calling her that now."
"…Is that all?"
Lucy looked at me with a faintly disappointed face, as if my answer hadn't satisfied her at all.
"Yep. That's all. Dig any deeper and you'll get hurt."
I gave her a crooked little smile, making it clear I had no intention of elaborating—
"You'd best give up. That one won't talk even if you kill her."
—when the captain, who must have opened his eyes at some point, spoke up with that nasty little grin of his.
"What, you're already awake?"
"How am I supposed to sleep with you lot yapping right next to me? Hand over the drink."
He roughly snatched the cup I'd been holding between my wings and tipping back, then tried to dump the contents into his mouth without even looking—
"Huh?"
"I already drank it all."
He stared at the empty cup, shook it a few times as if he couldn't believe it, then glared at me.
"What, you gonna do something about it just by glaring?"
"…Aigoo."
The one at fault was the guy who'd snored through the drink someone had gone out of their way to bring him without so much as glancing at it.
I shrugged and snorted—
—and that was when it hit.
Thwack!
"Biiit—?!"
A sudden, solid impact cracked against the top of my head. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I cupped my throbbing crown with my wings and spun around.
"That's what you get, you little brat."
The captain was looking at me with a thoroughly satisfied expression, fist still raised.
"When did he…?"
Lucy muttered under her breath, eyes wide. She'd clearly been watching him sitting across the table the whole time, and still somehow missed the movement.
"What? What happened?!"
"Bii, biiit… pfft."
Apparently my earlier shriek had cut Huey's explanation short. He hurried over looking startled, while Marie came up behind him and burst out laughing at the sight of me.
"Nothing serious. Just correcting our little brat's manners."
"Who are you calling a brat… ow, that hurts."
In answer to the three of them staring in confusion, the captain gave the top of my head—still cupped protectively in my wings—a couple of light taps.
"That's what you get for mouthing off."
He started openly laughing at me.
"…Just wait till I get my body back."
"Please do. I'm sick of dealing with this."
I glared at the captain sniping at me from the side, then turned back.
"So, is the story over?"
"Not yet."
Huey looked disappointed, like he still had more to say—but the color was draining clean out of Marie's face behind him, so I decided it was time to put a stop to this.
"Marie. That red horn Huey's holding? We got it off a mutant ogre that was guarding an altar we found in the forest over that way."
"…Ah!"
Huey's story must have been that boring. Marie lit up and came straight over at my words.
"Figured it was worth having someone look into it, so we brought it back."
"Okay! I'll have the guild people check it out! Thank you!"
A moment later she all but snatched the red horn out of Huey's arms and fled with it. Watching her go, Huey murmured blankly,
"…Am I… bad at explaining things?"
"You're only just figuring that out?"
"It's not that you're bad at it, Master. You simply should not be allowed to explain anything at all."
Huey stood there looking genuinely shaken. Better late than never, I supposed.
"Lucy's right. You'd be better off just not explaining."
"Honestly. The second the conversation hits something he knows, he goes on forever for no reason."
While Lucy and I were busy roasting the dejected Huey,
"…That's unexpected."
the captain's surprised voice came from behind me.
"Hm?"
"I just never thought I'd see you get friendly with someone this fast."
…Huh.
"I didn't think Ren was the type to hear that kind of thing…"
"Right? She can be a little prickly, but she's pretty sociable, isn't she?"
Come to think of it, the old me had definitely been…
"No, no. You two just don't know. Originally, this one—"
"Captain. Shut it."
I shot a look at the captain, who was about to start spouting unnecessary things,
"…Sorry. I'm gonna step outside and clear my head for a bit."
then clutched my head—which had started throbbing again a little while ago—and headed out, ignoring the three voices calling after me.
……
Apparently, more than I'd realized…
the me of now
had changed quite a lot compared to the past.
After Ren left the guild building,
"Aigoo. She really had no idea, huh."
Violet stared blankly after her for a moment, then pressed a hand to his forehead. Huey and Luciella looked at him with matching questions.
"What is it?"
"Just how bad was the old Ren…?"
Violet let out a long sigh and answered.
"Haa… She's gotten a lot better over the last few years, but originally? You said one word to her and she'd draw her sword first."
It had gotten so bad that they'd even put together a manual to hand out to people who specifically requested Ren for jobs. Violet pulled a small notebook from his coat and held it out to Huey.
"…How to Properly Handle Ren?"
"Back then, if you couldn't follow that, we made clients sign a contract saying we wouldn't be held responsible even if they got cut clean in half."
At that, Huey and Luciella quietly opened the notebook and skimmed the contents.
• Do not speak to her while her eyes are closed. High probability she will reach for her sword.
• Do not approach from behind with your presence suppressed. You will be knocked unconscious.
• Do not suddenly raise your voice. You may wet yourself from the killing intent.
• Do not even think about putting a hand on her body. Death.
And those were only a few of the entries. The little notebook was packed full of rules that bore no resemblance whatsoever to the Ren they had known so far.
"You're not joking. This is real?"
"And people still hired her even with something like this…?"
Huey and Luciella stared at Violet in disbelief, but he only looked like he wished it were a joke.
"Who in the world would make something like this and carry it around just for a laugh?"
Then he added the even more astonishing part.
"The real surprise is that even with contracts like that being necessary, the requests specifically naming Ren never stopped coming."
"Why on earth…?"
Huey looked baffled. Violet gave a crooked little smile.
"Do you know what they call her among people in the know?"
Huey and Luciella racked their brains for every self-aggrandizing story Ren had ever told them—
"…No."
"Now that you mention it, she never said anything like that."
—and realized that, aside from the occasional boast about what she could do, Ren had never once talked about her past as a mercenary.
"She hates it herself—says it feels like she's just following in someone else's footsteps—but the title is this:"
Violet looked at the two of them with a serious face.
"The Second Sword Saint."
In the ancient tales of the first Hero and their companions, there had been a swordsman who cut down the right arm of a certain evil god known as the Demon God.
The Sword Saint, Cardros van Nuada.
A swordsman so formidable in strength and courage that Aldebaran, the God of Courage, had specially granted him a surname.
They called Ren that because she was said to be Cardros reborn.
"Well, she gets so furious if you call her Sword Saint that she threatens to split your mouth open, so nobody says it to her face."
Violet added that ever since the title stuck, he'd had a hell of a time talking her down from one thing or another.
"Anyway, if you ever call her Sword Saint, she's going to lose it, so be careful."
Especially now, when she couldn't even hold a sword—if you called her that, she'd come at you ready to die trying. Violet delivered the warning with a completely serious face.
"Sword Saint…"
"I thought she was just full of hot air, but she was actually the real deal."
Huey and Luciella couldn't hide their surprise as they turned Violet's story over in their minds.
"Anyway. That's how it is."
Violet gazed quietly in the direction Ren had gone, a bitter little smile on his face.
"Is it really okay that you told us, though?"
Huey looked worried, clearly remembering the killing intent in Ren's voice right before she'd stormed out.
"She seemed like she really hated it earlier."
"Ah, that?"
Violet just grinned and waved it off.
"If she'd really hated it, she wouldn't have used words—she'd have come at me. And whether she likes it or not is none of my business."
If she doesn't like it, she can stop me with force, he added. Huey laughed awkwardly; Luciella muttered under her breath that the two of them were more alike than they seemed.
"She'll be back to her usual face before long anyway. Take it easy until then."
With that, Violet told Huey and Luciella to rest, then stood up.
"Ugh, when did the sky get that dark?"
He looked out the window at the sky that had filled with black clouds at some point, and murmured quietly to himself.
"Looks like rain…"
The sky today felt full of an ominous weight.