Adapting to the Life of Lady Ramnusia
"Neither gods nor demons carry such an unpleasant odor upon their persons, my lady. I believe it would be best for you to wash yourself thoroughly first."
What's with all the "my lady" and formal talk? Keres grabbed my shoulders and naturally nudged me into the bathroom. Did I even have a right to refuse in the first place?
"Ah, I get it. But what about you, Keres?"
"I shall be cleaning the chamber, my lady."
Keres pointed to the blood-stained floor and bedding. Come to think of it, we couldn't just leave that as it was.
"I-I'll wash up."
Keres gave me a bright smile and closed the bathroom door behind me.
Right, right. I should keep myself clean like those other noble ladies. Even when I was living under the bridge, I never went to sleep drenched in thick blood, so I really did want to wash up.
"But how... how do I even take this off...?"
Why do noble girls wear such uncomfortable clothes? It wasn't like a pair of pants or a shirt that you could just pull down or tug over your head.
"Her hips are way wider than her waist, so how did she even get into... Ah, there's something here."
There was a zipper on the skirt. The top had buttons. After struggling and grunting to strip off all the outer layers, a woman's bra and panties finally came into view.
"These must be expensive... insanely expensive..."
Touching the lingerie, it felt incredibly soft. The panties were even softer. No wonder I barely felt like I was wearing anything down there.
"Ugh, how do I... what... seriously! How do noble girls...! How do they even...! Argh!"
The panties were easy enough—just pull them down. But the bra was a completely different beast. In the end, I had to grab and twist the strangely tight fabric, wriggle my arms out, and somehow squeeze my head through the opening.
"Phew! That was ridiculously hard!"
Now I saw why nobles whined about how hard it was to get dressed. It made me never want to wear these clothes again.
"Lady... Lady Ramnusia... Hmm..."
The stark naked, snow-white body of Lady Ramnusia. Staring at my reflection in the mirror made my heart flutter in a strange way. First of all, Lady Ramnusia's body was breathtakingly beautiful. She couldn't even be compared to Aunt Luna from the mill or Anna from the butcher shop. Was a woman raised on fine food and exquisite clothes really this different? The 'me' in the mirror, which had only brought shock and bewilderment at first, was starting to grow on me.
"Is... is this... a woman's..."
When I gently cupped my breasts with both hands, they felt incredibly soft and squishy. Could human skin really be this smooth? There wasn't a single blemish or rough patch under my fingertips. The more I touched them, the more amazed I was by how soft and supple they were. If only it weren't for the sticky blood smeared across my neck and chest, I could have stared at this gorgeous body all day...
"...Wait a minute."
I came in here to wash up, but how do I actually do it? There's no water. You need water to wash, right? And it's not like there's any sand around to scrub myself with.
"K-Keres."
Having no other choice, I cautiously cracked the bathroom door open, completely naked.
"Yes, Lady Ramnusia. Is there something causing you discomfort?"
Keres asked with a serene smile. This woman... she said she would do whatever I ordered and teach me anything for the sake of my revenge, right?
"...How... how do nobles wash themselves?"
Keres blinked. Her black eyes, reminiscent of the night sky, felt strangely intense.
"Forgive me, my lady. It seems I was terribly thoughtless."
"N-No, it's not that. I'm just stupid and don't know... Whoa!"
Keres gently took hold of my waist and stepped into the bathroom with me.
"In the washroom, if you turn a knob like this, cold and hot water will... pour out from a fixture like this."
Unbelievable. Water was gushing out from the end of a solid piece of metal!
"W-What is this?"
"It is a system that utilizes plumbing, my lady. Most fixtures in washrooms operate in a similar fashion."
"Ha, hahaha...! Just turning this makes water...! This is insane! And it's not just water, it's hot and cold!"
What kind of lives do nobles live? Clean water like this just gushes out by twisting a piece of metal?! You couldn't get water this clean even from a well after a heavy rain. At this rate, I could probably just drink it straight, right?
"...Lady Ramnusia!"
"Ow!"
I was about to cup my hands to catch some cold water and drink it, but Keres suddenly pinched my soft butt. That hurt like hell!
"W-Why did you do that?!"
"A noble lady does not drink directly from the tap, my lady."
"Is... is there separate drinking water?"
Keres nodded.
"This is what we call a shower. From the head of this device..."
"S-So if I turn the knob on this one too, water comes out here, right?" Just as I expected, water sprayed out! Good grief, nobles lived in absolute luxury!
"Indeed, well done, my lady."
Keres stepped back slightly. With a magic tool like this that sprayed water so conveniently, washing up was a breeze. I washed myself quickly, easily, and simply.
"The... the blood is all gone... and washing with warm water feels amazing."
"...Do you truly believe you are finished washing, my lady?"
"Huh? Is there more?"
Keres suddenly knit her brows.
"A noble lady lathers her body, my lady. This object here in the washroom is soap."
"Whoa... so this is soap."
"Rub it between your hands like so to create a lather."
Keres explained with utmost patience.
"It's... it's super slippy—whoops!"
The soap I was holding in both hands shot out with a shlip and landed right on Keres's chest.
"Oh... oh! Oh!!!"
"It is quite alright, my lady. No infant is born knowing how to walk."
I thought she would be angry, but Keres merely chuckled as if it were nothing, picked up the soap, and placed it back in plain sight.
"Now, Lady Ramnusia. You need only rub your body with your lather-covered hands."
"...I know that much."
Actually, I didn't. I only knew that nobles used soap. But anyway, this soap stuff felt great. When I rubbed it all over my body, a mountain of fluffy white bubbles appeared.
"You are doing wonderfully. Yes, beneath the breasts as well, very good. The underarms, yes, and a young lady's most precious place... Lady Ramnusia?"
"U-Uh... so, I have to..."
I had rubbed every other part of my body, but when it came to washing my groin, I felt incredibly self-conscious.
"Are you embarrassed?"
"W-Well, there's that, but... it still doesn't... feel like my body yet..."
"Lady Ramnusia is Lady Ramnusia, my lady. Washing every corner of your own body is also part of a lady's duty, is it not?"
Keres's gaze was dead serious. Thanks to that, I lathered my hands again, pressed down, and rubbed my pussy. But washing down there made my nipples tingle... Is that normal?!
"Ugh! This feels so weird... To think I have a hole in my body..."
Keres watched my ridiculous display with a small smile, then suddenly reached for the clothes I had taken off.
"Lady Ramnusia?"
"Y-Yes? Keres?"
"...Do you not know how to take off a brassiere, my lady?"
I nodded sheepishly.
"Understood. It seems we must first teach you how to wear undergarments, my lady."
"U-Uh... what about... learning magic for my revenge?"
"That is an impossible task for a lady who cannot even put on or take off her own brassiere."
Keres looked a bit terrifying as she said that with a bright, beaming smile.
"Splendidly done, my lady. You are a remarkably fast learner."
"Heh, hehehe... Well, I'd get scolded if I didn't get it right away."
Keres was completely different from any noble I had ever met. She was kind, considerate, and incredibly smart. She understood that I, having lived as a man, was seeing a bra for the first time, and explained how to put it on and take it off perfectly. Thanks to her, I learned how to wear it flawlessly after just two or three tries.
"So, about the magic..."
"I believe it would be highly inappropriate to teach magic to a lady who has not even completed her sex education, my lady."
What's sex education?
"...However, every lesson deserves a reward. I shall impart one piece of knowledge to you before you sleep tonight."
Keres dressed me in a pure white dress. She told me this was Lady Ramnusia's 'nightgown.' Honestly, at first, I didn't even know what a 'nightgown' was. To have clothes specifically meant only for sleeping... just how lavishly did these people live?
"Keres, you're so k-kind and smart. You're really good at teaching."
Keres stared at me quietly, then curled her lips into a smile.
"Lady Ramnusia. Do you truly wish to learn the magic written within this grimoire?"
"O-Of course. I... they...! Even though I ended up meeting a kind and sweet maid like you and b-becoming Lady Ramnusia..."
I clenched my fists.
"...I saved her when she was trapped in that carriage... but Laura k-killed me anyway."
"Such is the nature of a rampaging noble lady, my lady. It is a rather common occurrence within the Empire."
"A-Anyway! I want to use magic to get my revenge!"
Keres nodded and reached for the crimson book, lifting it up. I only just realized it, but the cover of this book was completely different from any ordinary book I knew. It was leather. But I couldn't tell what kind of animal it came from.
"This is an incredibly dreadful grimoire, my lady."
"Y-You said it has the power to make me a god or a demon."
"Indeed, it is so. It is the terrifying grimoire known as the Armonomicon."
Keres spoke with great care, as if teaching someone how to draw a bow. I knew absolutely nothing about magic, but I could feel something radiating from it.
"What kind of magic can I l-learn?"
"There are countless spells contained within, but since you seek magic for the sake of revenge... I believe Command Magic would suit you best."
"C-Command?"
I had never heard of such magic in my entire life.
"Y-You don't mean spells like... Fireball or Ice Spear?"
"Lady Ramnusia. Let us speak with utmost seriousness."
Keres cleared her throat.
"Do you truly believe you could triumph over the other noble ladies attending Cosmos Academy by using such conventional destructive magic?"
"W-Well, no! But...! This Armo-whatever grimoire...!"
"Magic is merely a tool, my lady."
Keres took my hand. It was incredibly warm and soft.
"Since you seem to have some experience with hunting, let me offer an analogy. Just because one knows how to draw a bow does not mean everyone can successfully hunt a deer, does it?"
"... ...You have to know how to aim and shoot well. Even with the exact same bow, if you don't k-know how to use it, you won't catch a thing."
"Magic is precisely the same, my lady. Even if one cannot use a bow, one can still secure their daily bread with a spear."
Keres was absolutely right. Against noble ladies who were several times smarter than me, had received years of elite education, and had likely practiced magic for just as long, a destructive spell like Fireball probably wouldn't work. Let's be honest: it would look like a toddler charging at someone with a tiny pebble, screaming for revenge.
"...I'll learn Command Magic."
"It seems you have made up your mind."
"Since you said you would do anything for Lady Ramnusia, Keres... you w-wouldn't recommend something impossible!"
Keres nodded, taking my hand and guiding it toward the Armonomicon.
Zzzzt! Thump!
"Ugh...!"
My palm flared with intense heat, but it lasted only a brief moment.
"W-What is this..."
"Lady Ramnusia. Please follow my lead and move your fingers."
Keres pressed her index and middle fingers together, drawing a pattern in the air.
"Focus. Concentrate on the throbbing sensation in your chest... and move your fingers... Splendid, my lady!"
Zzzzt! A violet magic circle materialized at the tip of my finger before vanishing. What in the world? Was this magic? Actual magic? Am I a genius? Did I seriously just cast it on my very first try?
"W-Whoa?"
"To draw a magic circle on your very first attempt... you possess truly magnificent talent, my lady."
"I-Isn't this just because Lady Ramnusia's... body is amazing...?"
"No, my lady. No matter how much knowledge one accumulates, magic cannot be cast without the innate talent to focus one's mana."
So I really did have a talent for magic?
"T-Then! Keres! Tell me! What kind of spell is this Command Magic?"
"It is exactly as the name suggests—a spell that allows you to issue commands, my lady. 'Bring me water,' 'Drop your weapon,' 'Take off your clothes'... You can make them do absolutely anything."
Listening to Keres's gentle explanation, I became more certain than ever. This grimoire truly held the power to make me a god or a demon.