No! I Said I'm Not Doing This!

Not happening! I'm not doing it!

Crunch—!

"Ghk?! What the—!"

The ring began to shrink all on its own. The moment it touched my middle finger, something changed. It had clearly been much wider at first, but somehow, by the time I noticed, it had already resized itself to fit my finger perfectly.

"..."

Thankfully, it didn't seem to be shrinking any further. I hurriedly tried to pull the ring off, then paused mid-motion.

...What on earth is this thing? It can't be Earth-made. Don't tell me it's an item?

How much would it fetch if it were?

"...Well, I'd have to get it off first. Ugh... nngh...!!"

Pop!

This is insane. It's not coming off. If I pulled any harder, the skin might peel right off with it.

I gave up on brute force for the moment and went hunting for something slippery around the house. But whether I tried cooking ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠oil, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠soap, or slathered both on thick at the same time, the ring refused to budge.

There was still too much work waiting to justify wasting any more time on this.

It's not like my finger's going anywhere, right?

So I decided to handle the urgent stuff first. I went back outside and started growing the peach tree — but I'd apparently burned through too much energy, because that day, for the first time ever, I couldn't hit my daily quota and passed out early.

And then, the next morning.

...Or rather, the next noon.

"Ngh... mmh. Wh-what?!"

Two-thirty in the afternoon?

How was this possible? I was sure I'd fallen asleep around ten last night — which meant I'd slept more than fourteen hours?

I stared at the clock in shock. I could count on one hand the times I'd slept over ten hours, so how on earth had I sprawled there for fourteen?

Sure, circadian rhythms hiccup now and then, but something about this felt far more suspicious.

My eyes dropped to the ring on my right middle finger.

"You... what exactly are you?"

It was certain. The very moment I put it on, my energy had drained away, and for the first time ever, I'd retired without even reaching seventy percent of my daily quota. On top of that, I'd slept so dead that I hadn't even heard my alarm.

And above all, the clincher—

My mana hasn't recovered.

No, it had actually drained further. My head spun like I had severe anemia, and I could barely summon the strength to take a single step. This was unmistakable mana exhaustion.

"Ha..."

I grabbed my head and tore at my hair. In movies and comics, items like this were always game-breakingly powerful. My situation was the exact opposite.

"So reality's bleak, huh... A debuff instead of help. Wonderful."

I'd figured I'd slimmed down overnight and given it another yank, but the ring remained utterly immovable. So I slumped against the wall with the expression of a man who'd lost his country, staring blankly at the cursed thing.

Palm stretched flat toward the ceiling, eyes fixed on the nuisance.

"Whoo—"

Huh? Wait a second.

Right then, something odd caught my eye.

...Why was it gold?

Until yesterday, the ring had definitely been wood. But now it gleamed with a lustrous golden sheen.

When I examined it closely and ran my fingers over it, I realized this wasn't a mere change of color.

"The material itself has changed. I remember yesterday's wood grain perfectly."

An ordinary person might not, but I was a professional. Fallen as I was, did they really think I couldn't tell apart materials I'd worked with my whole life?

Only then did I begin turning the ring over, examining it this way and that. Horns, masks, feathers.

What is this, some primitive tribe design?

Crafted well enough, sure, but hopelessly out of touch with current fashion.

I forced out a weak chuckle and hauled myself upright. There was nothing more I could learn here, so whatever happened — sink or swim — I decided I'd head to the city and find out.

"Ha... how far is it to Cairo, running?"

Bang—

"Cairo? Couldn't tell you. Though you won't be running there — you'll be crawling."

"...Huh?"

Am I dreaming?

I opened the door and there stood a familiar face — a well-groomed middle-aged man in a gaudy floral shirt and sunglasses.

"M-Mr. Kim Young-hak? What are you doing here...? I was just about to—"

"Feels like a dream, does it?"

WHAM—! Crackaboom!

My stomach caved backward with crushing force and I went rolling across the floor, pain slowly blooming up from my guts. I clutched my belly and groaned.

"Ugh... hh..."

I couldn't move so much as a step. This was power on a completely different level from the 'ordinary people' I'd scrapped with back in school. Knowing him, I'd probably cracked several ribs at least.

The moment I went limp, Kim Young-hak seized a fistful of my hair.

"Quit milking it and get moving, you little bastard."

"Ugh...! Aaaagh!!"

Thud!

Dragged out by the hair, I was flung face-first into the sand in front of the peach tree.

"What is this? Building yourself a little flower garden?"

"...It's for you, sir."

"Shut your mouth, you maggot! You taking me for a joke?"

WHAM! He drove another kick into my gut. I didn't even have the strength left to scream.

"I trusted you with work because I liked how your mouth ran, and you half-ass it, then lie around snoozing past two in the afternoon!?"

"Th-that's not—"

"Not what, exactly? I hate bastards like you, you know that? The ones who kiss ass to your face and scheme to slack off and mooch behind your back — leeches, the lot of you!"

...A l-leech?

"Then... then what am I supposed to do?"

"What?"

"I can't get anything done because of this ring, sir!"

Kim Young-hak blinked at me, as if the very idea were absurd.

"...The hell? Did I hit your head too hard? You little punk. What ring are you talking abooout!!"

...Excuse me?

I clearly, laboriously raised my right hand to show him, but he just kept bellowing at me to quit spouting nonsense.

...A man who, if he'd seen that gold ring, would've cut my finger off to take ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it.

"You really don't see it? This, right here?"

"Ha... I'm done talking with you. I've got a hundred more willing backs to replace yours. I'll just kill you and drag in the next one."

He shuffled over and raised his foot. If that boot came down on my neck, that would be the end of me.

...Ah— what a shit world this is. I wasn't exactly a saint, but I'd worked hard and lived clean, more or less.

Was this really how it ended?

A hollow laugh bubbled up out of me.

"Oh? Cracking jokes while half out of your mind? Think I won't kill you—!"

Kim Young-hak's foot began its descent.

In that sliver of an instant, I prayed.

God, Allah, Buddha...! If any of you exist, please save me, and punish this bastard in my place!

And then I cursed.

The Gates — goddamn them. The monsters I'll tear limb from limb. Whoever created them, if I have to crawl out of my own grave, I will find them. I swear I'll find them and—

"RIP THEM APART PIECE BY PIECE!!! AAAAAGH!!!"

Wuuuuum—

"...Huh?"

In that instant, I felt my body plunging downward. No — more precisely, it felt like being swallowed into a different dimension altogether.

Its origin spilled from the mouth of Kim Young-hak, who'd been caught up in it with me.

"Wh-what? Son of a— what is this?! A Gate, out of nowhere...!"

Flash!

My vision flooded with total darkness.

"Ugh... uh."

Where am I?

When I opened my eyes, everything around me was pitch dark. A faint light glimmered in the far distance, and using it as my guide, I slowly pushed myself up.

"Ugh... nngh. Body's still wrecked as ever."

Rustle...!

"What the—a leaf?"

Afraid I was about to keel over, I'd reached out for support and found a leaf under my palm.

After a short wait, my eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness, and I was finally able to take in the landscape around me.

"A forest? It grew this dense in a place this dark...?"

By any common logic, it made no sense.

...And then there was Kim Young-hak's last scream.

I'd never experienced it before, but I knew. This place was inside a Gate.

After all that desperate struggling to become ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a Hunter trainee, and here I was fast-tracked like this.

And in this condition, no less...

"Heh heh. If this is some god granting a dying man's last wish, then god is insane. Untreated internal bleeding is going to kill me any minute — what exactly am I supposed to do with this?"

Muttering to myself, I shuffled toward the light, one wobbly step at a time. You never know, after all — maybe that glow was the gate to heaven.

Before long, I arrived at something that looked like a stone altar. At its center stood an enormous tree, and beyond the altar stretched a surprisingly wide clearing.

Rectangular, at that.

"Strange..."

I crawled up the steps on all fours and hauled myself onto the altar. And then something caught my eye.

What is that.

A mummy, embedded in the tree. The light was seeping out from its eyes.

When I cautiously edged closer, a cool sensation washed over my right middle finger, followed by a soft tap.

...The ring came off?

At the same moment, my vision began to blur rapidly. My abdomen was swelling, too — unmistakable signs of internal bleeding. And a very serious case of it.

I want to collapse.

But why? Somehow, my hand was already groping the ground for the ring, as if on instinct.

"Heh heh... what am I even doing."

Before long — tap. My fingers closed around it.

"There you are."

Ring in hand, I crawled the rest of the way to the mummy on my knees. I simply didn't have the strength left to stand.

Gasping for breath, I spoke to it.

"...It's yours, isn't it?"

It has to be. That's why it called me here, isn't it?

I fumbled along the mummy's hand, then pushed the ring onto its middle finger.

"...Honestly, I don't know what any of this is anymore. Whatever happens — if you lose this thing again, I'll haunt you. Got it?"

...Thud!

...What is this, some scammer's pitch?

What more torment could I possibly need to suffer while I'm still breathing?

I decline.

What?! You crazy piece of—! I said I'm not doing this!

Wha—? Huh? Hey! HEY!

Shuaaak—!