Remnants of Memory
Baekseol watched as the Soul Orchid was planted in the flowerpot she had brought, a deep question lingering in her mind.
Why does Astra want the Soul Orchid...?
The captains each had their own unique hobbies.
Kaiser of the Zhen Hong Regiment, a rough orc, enjoyed chess; Ellis of the Qingyuan Regiment played house; and Sirka of the Hei Ye Regiment collected blades.
Is Astra's hobby gardening?
As Baekseol pondered this, Astra withdrew his black magic and approached her.
"Baekseol."
"Ah, yes, Astra!"
Baekseol replied with a bright smile.
She was certain she could no longer feel joy, yet for some reason, being near Astra made something tingle inside her.
Like something long forgotten was trying to awaken.
That won't happen...
Baekseol denied her feelings inwardly.
Astra finished speaking and gazed at Baekseol for a moment before suddenly picking up the Soul Orchid and holding it out to her.
"Hm... Is this a confession? Sorry, but I don't feel that way."
Baekseol teased, but Astra's expression didn't change.
"The Soul Orchid... is different from what the world knows. This flower grows by devouring souls—a forbidden plant. But in exchange... it can restore what was lost."
Astra's voice rumbled low.
"If you consume this... you can regain the emotions you've lost."
"...Pardon?"
Baekseol was momentarily confused.
More shocking than the Soul Orchid's effect was how Astra knew her secret.
She had always fooled everyone with her perfect acting.
Baekseol's face turned expressionless in an instant.
As if the bright smile from moments ago had been a lie.
"How long have you known? I thought my acting was flawless."
Her voice was as cold as a midwinter wind.
"From the beginning."
Astra answered calmly.
"From the first time we met... your smile lacked warmth. It was like a painting on a frozen lake."
Baekseol's eyes trembled faintly.
"And yet... why didn't you say anything?"
"There was no need. Lacking emotions doesn't make you any less Baekseol."
"..."
Baekseol felt confused.
She couldn't understand Astra treating her so casually despite knowing her secret.
"Knowing you've lost your emotions... you must have heard about the traits of us millennium nine-tailed foxes somewhere. I won't ask how you know. You've been mysterious from the start, Astra."
Caution laced Baekseol's voice.
"What do you want in return? For the Soul Orchid."
She knew better than anyone that nothing in Haven came free.
"No price at all."
"...You expect me to believe that? Between captains?"
Baekseol laughed coldly.
On the surface, relations between captains seemed harmonious, but they were all business in the end.
If another captain were here instead of Astra, they would have exploited her weakness for gain.
Her blue eyes sharpened.
"Baekseol. I thought you had no emotions at all, but that doesn't seem to be the case."
Astra tilted his head slightly.
"Aren't you suspicious of me?"
"This isn't emotion. It's just logical judgment. A calculation for survival."
Baekseol replied expressionlessly, but Astra shook his head.
"No, that's emotion too. From what I see... you've suppressed them all yourself. You're pretending not to have them out of fear that you might lose them someday."
"No. Sorry, but that's just speculation."
Baekseol's voice was firm.
"Whether you have emotions or not, eating this will tell us. Eat it. I want nothing from you. Training Ria has already given me more than enough in return."
Astra held out the Soul Orchid once more.
Baekseol stared at the black flower, lost in thought.
Anger vanished first. Then sorrow... and finally, joy was all that remained.
Even that was nearly gone now.
She had lived like an empty doll, feeling her colors of emotion fade one by one.
And she always wondered.
Was she truly alive like this? Or no different from the dead? Could a heart that beat but felt nothing be called truly living?
But feeling all this, I'm just pretending out of fear rather than having lost everything?
No. She asserted inwardly.
It was just Astra's misconception, since he hadn't experienced the millennium nine-tailed fox's curse himself.
But...
After much deliberation, Baekseol accepted the Soul Orchid.
Despite her assertion, a faint hope lingered in a corner of her heart.
Or perhaps it was the remnant of the emotion called 'expectation,' not yet fully gone.
"If I eat this... I'll really regain my emotions? All the ones lost over centuries... anger, sorrow, and true joy?"
Baekseol's hand trembled slightly.
The black petals pulsed subtly on her palm, as if alive.
"Sorry, but it won't restore everything at once. That's why you need to grow it from the seeds and consume it periodically. Slowly recover."
Astra's voice was calm, but sincerity filled it.
"That's for my sake too... I want to believe you, Astra."
She took a deep breath and placed the Soul Orchid in her mouth.
In that instant, Baekseol's body stiffened.
What... is this...!
Neither cold nor hot, something indescribable slid down her throat.
It felt like liquid, or perhaps smoke. As the Soul Orchid reached her stomach—
"Ugh...!"
Mana suddenly surged violently within her.
Her usually ice-cold, refined mana clashed fiercely with the invading black magic.
This is... black magic?!
The pure black magic infused in the Soul Orchid warred with her vital energy inside her body.
Cold sweat beaded on Baekseol's forehead.
As expected... it was a lie.
As she painfully squinted open her eyes, an astonishing sight met her.
Astra's expression...
had changed.
Not his usual cold, emotionless face, but faintly furrowed brows, anxiously bitten lips, and above all, clear worry in those black eyes.
Astra... is worried about me?
Then Astra's lips moved silently.
Hold... on...
Reading the shape of his mouth, something stirred deep in Baekseol's chest.
Not just from the mana surge—something long forgotten, believed lost, began to faintly writhe.
Strange... my chest... why does it...
Churn, churn.
Distinct from nausea, a warm yet distant tremor persisted.
Baekseol hurriedly sat in the lotus position.
She had to somehow harmonize the two raging forces within her.
* * *
I was inwardly flustered.
Sylphia hadn't mentioned such side effects, and since my priority was restoring Baekseol's emotions, I hadn't thought deeply about it.
Watching Baekseol groan in pain, I asked Ascaros.
"Ascaros, the Soul Orchid grows by devouring souls in Darkteria, infused with black magic. But Baekseol is a top-tier mana user. What happens?"
'If someone who mainly handles mana accepts black magic, there are two paths.'
"What are they?"
'First, fully convert mana to black magic like you, Master. Second, subdue the black magic with mana power. But this Soul Orchid contains your black magic... so it may differ from ordinary black magic.'
Before Ascaros finished, changes began in Baekseol's body.
"Haa... haa..."
With her ragged breaths, white mist rose.
No, it wasn't mist—it was frost formed by her extreme cold freezing the air's moisture.
Crackle, crackle.
White ice flowers bloomed and vanished around Baekseol repeatedly.
Like reflections of her unstable inner world, the flowers bloomed beautifully only to shatter and scatter in an instant.
Grrr...
The floor began to freeze.
Frost spread in concentric circles from Baekseol.
The room's temperature plummeted, frost forming on the flowerpots.
At this rate, even the Soul Orchid seeds...
I hurriedly extended black magic, enveloping the planted pots in a protective barrier.
The dark energy shielded them from Baekseol's cold mana.
"Baekseol."
I spoke to her from a safe distance.
"Hold on. If it's the you I know, you can overcome this."
The chill emanating from Baekseol intensified.
Her long silver hair whipped in the mana storm.
"You're... strong. You, who has lived centuries... won't yield to this."