Reading to a Cat (2)
Silence hung heavy inside the church.
In the weight that had settled over the room, I stood rooted before the stone statue presumed to be Goddess Paelia.
Behind me, Eisen was hunched in on himself, his head hanging limp.
"..."
For a long while I simply stared at the statue without a word, then let out a short sigh, my face shadowed.
We had been together for less than a month, yet not once in that time had anything between us rung false — and that was precisely what made the situation so achingly complicated.
"Take a seat, please."
"O-Okay..."
His voice had dropped noticeably. As the sound of Eisen carefully lowering himself into a chair filled the silent space, I at last turned my body around — slowly, having kept my back to him until then.
"Eisen, lift your head for me."
At my quiet words, he stiffly raised the head he had buried so deep.
His face was ashen. His gaze darted restlessly. Cold sweat poured off him like rain. As though he'd had some premonition of his own doom, Eisen fidgeted helplessly, his anxiety laid bare for anyone to see.
But I was hardly so small-minded a person as to lose my temper over the innocent blunder of a child who knew no better. Whatever his reasons, I knew perfectly well that none of it had sprung from a bad heart.
"Do you still suspect me?"
At my question, Eisen shook his head in silence.
"It's all right, Eisen. I didn't call you here to scold you."
"...Huh?"
"I only want to clear up a misunderstanding. Even the smallest ember, left unattended, will one day spread into a great fire."
With that, I let a faint smile settle onto my lips. For someone far older than Eisen to fly into a rage and carry on over so trivial a matter would never be a pretty sight. It was precisely at times like these that I needed to show a mercy that embraced everything — only then could the doubt he carried be wiped away completely.
Besides, this was also a fine opportunity to upgrade my performance as a nun another notch, so I chose to look on the bright side rather than the bad.
"Th-The misunderstanding..."
"Can you tell me what happened last night?"
Once I'd soothed the trembling boy, I eased naturally into the heart of the matter, and the heavy air lightened by a fair degree. Little by little, color returned to Eisen's face; he looked at me with eyes gone clearer, then drew a long breath, his expression hardening with resolve.
"Actually... while I was running away yesterday, I overheard something. That demon — he said Levi was a vampire..."
The voice that finally left Eisen's mouth still trembled, and yet he fought to keep his composure and laid out, honestly, everything that had happened the night before. It was a truly admirable sight. Speaking up so bravely when it must have been the last thing he wanted to do, Eisen deserved every bit of praise he got. Separate from that, however, the story that came out of him was deeply shocking — and deeply flustering.
"...Pardon?"
"Honestly, I don't really know what a vampire is... but I could tell for sure that it's a monster."
"Th-Then... why on earth did you ask me to come outside earlier...?"
"Because from the very start until now, Levi, you've never once gone out in the daytime. I thought maybe that had something to do with this 'vampire' monster."
In an exact reversal of earlier, this time it was my complexion that began draining toward white. Thankfully, my skin was naturally pale to begin with, so I didn't have to worry about the change being noticed. But the moment I learned that Eisen, of all people, had overheard talk of vampires, my mind had already gone blank as a fresh sheet of paper.
"You didn't run away right then...?"
"My legs were shaking so badly I stayed frozen in place for a good while... I wanted to run, but they honestly wouldn't move..."
I had overlooked one crucial fact. Eisen was remarkably bold and quick to act for his age — but he was still, at the end of the day, a child of barely ten. More than that, he was a grieving victim whose parents, whose entire village, had been laid waste by monsters. For his legs to give out at such a moment wasn't the least bit strange. It was the natural thing. So why on earth had I taken it for granted, back then, that he would get away cleanly? It had been no situation for that at all.
"...I see. I never thought that far."
"I'm sorry. I should have run faster..."
"No. Even so, you carried out the duty I gave you faithfully, Eisen. There's nothing to apologize for."
None of this was Eisen's fault. It was mine, for judging the situation too complacently. How could I possibly blame or chide the boy, when I was the one so worked up over facing a demon that I'd let my mouth run loose? I should have held my tongue back then.
"So that's why you thought I was a monster wearing a human skin?"
"Ah, yeah... but you weren't. Levi just really hates sunlight, that's all..."
The one blessing in all this was that my identity — so carelessly nearly exposed — had, by luck alone, barely managed to stay hidden. If I hadn't picked up that passive skill, Rapid Regeneration, when I did, I wouldn't be clearing up doubts right now; I'd be mired in something far worse.
"Which means what you said inside the church that time wasn't you trying to save me. You were quietly planning your own escape, weren't you?"
"...Yeah. But I couldn't bring myself to tell Ellie and Iris the truth. I was afraid it would shock them."
"You did well. Either way, things turned out fine, so digging any deeper would do neither of us any good."
"I'm sorry I doubted you... It won't happen again..."
Outwardly I smiled with perfect serenity; inwardly, I was doing everything I could to calm a heart pounding like a drum. I had come within a hair of burning down not just the house but the entire mountain. Whether to call it coincidence or plain good luck — thanks to the groundwork I'd laid without meaning to proving its worth, I had slipped past what could have been a dreadful situation with relative ease. Still, there was no denying how close a call it had been. From now on, I would have to move with considerably more care.
— Clap!
To bring the air — which had somehow grown heavy again before I knew it — back to normal, I clapped my palms together with a bright ring and spoke up cheerfully.
"Now, let's end this topic right here. As I said at the start, I didn't call you here to scold you."
"B-But... I was being stubborn, and I made you stand in sunlight you hate..."
"If it clears up your misunderstanding, Eisen, I can bear that much and then some. It isn't as if I did anything remarkable in the first place."
"Still..."
"...If that guilt sitting in your chest won't lift no matter what I say, then allow me to assign you a punishment, Eisen."
"Huh?"
The purer a person's heart, the less easily the guilt heaped inside it dissolves at words of forgiveness alone. Honestly speaking, if everything Eisen suspected had been true, there would be no reason for him to be punished at all — and I was hardly in any position to be handing out punishments, either. But I believed this way would turn out for the best, if for nothing else than both our sakes. For me and for Eisen alike — neither of us was living under that roof with an ill heart.
"I'll be away from the church for one day at the shortest, three at the longest. While I'm gone, clean the church until it's spotless, and take good care of Ellie and Iris."
"Why? Where are you going?"
"I'm planning to visit the nearest village to find a book that teaches beginner magic. Iris has shown a tremendous interest in it lately."
"Oh... I see."
At my flat answer, Eisen's face unexpectedly bloomed with relief. He drew a deep breath and clutched his chest, visibly set at ease.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. Leave Ellie and Iris to me and go without a worry. I'll have this church cleaned properly, too."
"Let me say it once more — this isn't a favor I'm asking. It's a punishment I'm assigning you. Don't even think about cutting corners."
"Of course not! I'll make it look brand-new!"
"...Very good."
It did strike me as a little odd, the way Eisen beamed despite being told he was being punished. Apparently, having suspected me of being a monster had settled onto him as an enormous weight of guilt. Because I could more than understand that feeling, I gave a small nod to show my approval.
"Oh — is there anything you'd like, Eisen?"
"Me?"
"Yes. Something you need, or something you've always wanted."
"I'm fine. Just getting to live here in safety is more than enough for me."
"Hmm. So you're not one for wanting things, are you, Eisen?"
"Ellie and Iris have way more things they want than I do. They may not look it, but they're girls, after all."
The remark — far too grown-up for a ten-year-old — very nearly startled a laugh out of me. Thinking fast, I secretly pinched my own thigh and barely managed to choke down the laughter that had almost burst free.
"Understood. I'll be leaving right after dinner, so please pass that along to Ellie and Iris as well."
"Yeah! Got it!"
With those words, Eisen marched out of the church, brisk and full of energy. Only moments before, his whole face had been shadowed dark and his manner toward me painfully stiff. Watching the misunderstanding melt away through our talk and his old liveliness come flooding back, I felt relief wash over me — and a faint smile rose to my lips entirely of its own accord.
— Clunk.
"Ah, finally out."
"Naughty Eisen."
The instant Eisen pushed open the church's firmly shut door, Ellie and Iris appeared as though they had been lying in wait for exactly this moment. They promptly descended on the dazed boy, taking turns dressing him down.
"Poor Sister! How could you?! Have you no gratitude at all?!"
"Sister was one step away from crying."
"N-No... that's... I mean..."
Caught in this sudden deluge of reproach, a thoroughly rattled Eisen could do nothing but stammer. The sight was rather pitiable, yet somehow endearing all the same, and the smile on my face refused to fade.
"Did you apologize properly?!"
"I really, really can't forgive you."
"I did... I did, okay... It was all my fault..."
These children had been gathered under one roof against their will, by a tragedy none of them deserved. Because of it, they had been chosen as Messiahs and saddled with the immense duty of saving the world. Even so, I hoped that at least in a moment like this one, they could set aside that heavy, self-consuming responsibility and grow up pure and unburdened, like any other children. And I hoped that even once they were grown, they would trust and lean on one another without a shadow of doubt, and walk boldly forward.
They were good children — more than worthy of exactly that.
"All right, everyone. That's enough scolding for Eisen. Why don't you join me for a game of hide-and-seek inside the church?"
"Huh? But Sister, you said playing inside the church is forbidden..."
"Just for today, it's fine."
Until that time came, I would keep my identity hidden to the very end, play the part of a faithful nun, and pour my heart into caring for these three children. Because I believed that was precisely the mission I had to carry out in this world.
"Hmm — I think Eisen should be 'it' first."