A Picnic for the Cats (2)
"Whew..."
"Don't tell me you're still sulking?"
"It's just... it was a huge shock to me..."
Apparently, yesterday's incident had left Priscilla deeply shaken after all.
It wasn't something I'd done on purpose, and I certainly bore her no ill will, but the fact remained that I'd sat down to dinner with everyone except the one guest I ought to have been treating with care. A hundred times over, the fault was mine.
Still, I'd made it up to her properly afterward, so I'd assumed the whole thing ended as a mere mishap.
Who would have guessed she'd still be stewing over it a full day later?
Honestly, it was that *other* one showing up out of nowhere that let the whole thing get swept under the rug. Priscilla did trespass into the church uninvited, after all — she had no right to be fussed over to this extent.
"Why are you looking at me like that...?"
"Hm?"
"Oh, it's just... you were glaring at me with this really suspicious look..."
"Ah, was I?"
"For a second there, I thought I was about to be murdered..."
Priscilla is, in a sense, the only person alive who knows my true identity.
That means she's a headache in any number of ways, but so far she's kept her mouth shut, so she isn't much of a threat.
"I'm sure that's not the case. You must be seeing things."
"...You think so?"
"Of course."
Whether you'd call it nerve or simple lack of foresight, the real mystery is why Priscilla is still here at all when she should have left the church that very day.
She's timid by nature, so it doesn't seem like she's plotting anything sinister—
Could it be... that explaining the vampire away as a mosquito that day put her mind far too much at ease?
"Um, even now your eyes look kind of scary..."
"Ah, my mistake."
Apparently not, then.
If she were lingering here because she mistook me for some weak little monster, she would never have reacted the way she just did.
If anything, she should have been openly looking down on me, or ignoring me entirely.
"Hehe, the night air feels amazing!"
"Doesn't it? Going on a walk together at night like this is really nice."
"Best of all is getting to come out with you, Sister!"
"I'm quite fond of walking with you too, Ellie."
"Really?!"
"Yes, really."
The instant she heard my answer, Ellie squeezed the hand she was holding all the tighter.
It was such a small, insignificant gesture, and yet the warmth radiating from that tiny palm made me smile fondly in spite of myself.
"You sound so different when you talk to me... it's like even the tone of your voice changes..."
"Well, naturally."
"Oh, right?"
At my flat, matter-of-fact reply, Priscilla nodded along and accepted it without protest.
"I want to hold the Sister's hand too."
"I'm sorry, Iris. Both of my hands are spoken for right now, so there's nothing I can do."
"...Ellie is lucky."
"We'll be there soon, so don't feel too down about it."
"Okay."
Late evening, with darkness settled thick over the land.
We were making our way through dense woods toward our picnic spot.
I'd stumbled upon the place by chance while hunting game some time ago — a wide-open vista centered on an enormous lake, breathtakingly beautiful, and blessedly free of monsters, as best I could remember. That lake was what we'd settled on for today's picnic.
One glance at that view, and the children would surely lose their words and break into nothing but gasps of wonder.
"Hey, Lev? Why'd you bother hauling that thing along whole?"
Eisen, walking abreast of Iris, asked with a puzzled look.
"We could've just prepared food in advance, but I thought it might be nice to rough it a little — more of a camping feel, you know?"
"Camping?"
"Mm-hm. We light a fire and roast the meat over it. Simple as that."
My right hand was occupied holding Ellie's, but my left was wrapped around a positively enormous boar.
I'd caught the thing ahead of time before we set out, and having already drained every drop of its blood, it was in excellent shape for freshness.
An ordinary picnic would have been lovely in its own right, but since this was our first outing with the children, I wanted to make it a little special.
"Even so, that seems like a bit much."
"Once we get there and you're eating grilled boar off the fire, I promise the words 'a bit much' won't even cross your mind."
"It's really that incredible of a spot?"
"Of course. Even I was stunned when I first saw it."
"Ooooh..."
Maybe the one looking forward to this picnic most of all wasn't Ellie, but me.
After all, I'd woken up bursting with anticipation and spent the entire day humming to myself.
"Oh! I see something over there!"
We'd been walking along, chatting idly, when Priscilla — a few steps ahead of the rest of us — suddenly raised her voice in excitement.
Where her finger pointed, glimmers of light peeked faintly through the dark underbrush, and the gentle murmur of water flowed as serene as a classical melody.
"The lake...!"
At last, we arrived.
Just as I'd predicted, the children's jaws dropped the moment they laid eyes on the water, and exclamations of awe tumbled out of them one after another. Watching them, I felt the corners of my own mouth curl upward.
"What did I tell you? It's absolutely incredible, isn't it?"
"I can't believe a place like this was hidden in our forest..."
"It feels almost... mystical..."
"Pretty."
The round moon casting its soft glow across the vast lake only deepened the otherworldly atmosphere of the place.
Even by daylight, it would have been plenty beautiful.
And yet the stillness and the mystery bathed in moonlight could only be savored at night — which was exactly what made tonight feel so special.
"THIS PLACE IS THE BEST!! Everywhere I look, it's just us out here—!!"
Right up until we'd reached the lake, Eisen had been the most indifferent of the bunch about the whole picnic business.
He'd even brought his sword along, grumbling that he'd just train instead — and yet somehow, he was the most worked up of the three now.
Well. More or less exactly as expected.
"Priscilla, while the children play, let's set up a place to rest."
My plan was to spread out a mat near the water and prepare a comfortable spot for everyone while the children ran themselves ragged by the lake.
Conveniently, I had Priscilla on hand to help today. Between the two of us, it'd be done in no time.
"Yaaahooo—!!"
Except when I came back to my senses, there was already no one left beside me.
And I'd brought her along specifically to put her to work.
Somehow, Priscilla was now frolicking joyfully by the lake alongside the children, drinking freedom in with both hands.
Watching her, I began to slightly regret having apologized yesterday for not feeding her dinner.
"...Tch."
A whole cluster of petty grievances rose up to the tip of my tongue, my lips slowly puckering out like a sulking child's.
But I was, after all, the most grown-up person present.
Thinking it over, it really wasn't worth getting this worked up about.
- Tap tap.
A few dozen minutes later.
Behind the children squealing and chasing one another, I was hard at work on the preparations.
I laid out the mat, ventured into the woods to gather firewood and get a blaze going, and broke down the boar I'd brought into manageable, edible portions.
None of these steps could be allowed to drag on, so I moved considerably faster than usual.
The end result: the picnic setup was finished in a little over thirty minutes, give or take.
"Whew..."
The process had been a fair bit of labor, but looking at the finished setup, the atmosphere was so impressive that applause escaped me of its own accord.
Now all that remained was to call the children over and leisurely grill the barbecue, and we'd have romance to spare on top of everything else.
"Every—"
That was the exact moment I opened my mouth to call the children playing by the lake.
A scene I could hardly believe with my own two eyes unfolded before me.
"Eisen... Ellie... Iris... Priscilla..."
There should have been exactly four of them.
And yet, for some reason, one rusted-out old tin can had blended seamlessly into the group.
A towering frame, an enormous greatsword strapped across its back.
But sheathed in blackened armor from crown to toe, its identity was utterly impossible to make out.
"Hahahaha."
What on earth was that tin can supposed to be?
And how long had it been playing with them without my noticing?
"......"
Anyone with eyes could see it was suspicious...
Logically, chasing it off right this instant was the correct move...
But the children — and Priscilla too, for that matter — were all happily playing with the blasted tin can, and I found it strangely hard to open my mouth.
Somehow I was the odd one out, left standing apart.
I couldn't explain it, but a faint feeling of exclusion crept over me.
"Sister—!!"
Another few dozen minutes slipped by, perhaps.
The children, who'd been romping with the suspicious tin can all this while, finally came trooping back to where I stood.
"Wow, I feel like I haven't played that hard in ages."
"That was so fun."
"Phew! It kind of feels like I went back to being a kid again."
"Mm. Everyone's in good shape. Excellent stamina, all of you."
We gathered in a circle around the crackling bonfire, catching up on all the idle chatter we'd missed earlier.
It should have been a warm, cozy family moment — except one spy had slipped into the gathering a little too naturally.
"Oh — you brought an entire Giant Boar? Thorough preparation. Very impressive."
"......"
"You don't cut and grill a Giant Boar like that. Leave it to me — meat is my specialty, and I'll cook it for you properly."
For some reason, the tin can boomed out these pronouncements with the grandest of airs.
As if that weren't enough, it lectured me on proper grilling technique like some insufferable old-timer, and in the process smoothly appropriated every last piece of meat I'd been holding.
Before long it had improvised skewers on the spot, skewered the thick slabs of meat without a moment's hesitation, and begun planting them one by one before the roaring bonfire.
"This is how you roast it. Tastes better this way."
"Ooooh... now it really feels like we're camping."
Eisen's eyes had begun to sparkle somewhere along the way.
Apparently he'd fallen completely under the spell of full plate armor — the romance of every man worth his salt.
"Mister, when can we eat this?"
"Mm, it'll take a while. The flavor's guaranteed, but it's a slow method — patience is the price."
"I wanna eat it now..."
Even Ellie, ordinarily so wary of strangers, was treating the suspicious tin can like an old friend.
As if they'd known each other for years.
"Then let's go play over there some more while it cooks!"
"Go where? Just sit right here."
Well, Priscilla has never been one for deep thought anyway.
Whatever she did was none of my concern.
"Sister. That mister is really funny."
Don't tell me Iris is falling for it too...
She didn't look entranced, exactly, but still.
"That's good to hear. Moving your body between activities is an excellent hab—"
"Excuse me. Just who *are* you, that you've been chatting away with our children so casually this whole time?"
"Hm?"
"You even made off with the meat I was grilling..."
"Ah, my apologies for that. But grilled that way, a Giant Boar's true flavor never gets its chance to shine."
"I'm sorry, *what*?"
In the end, my patience ran out and I opened my mouth to give the can a piece of my mind.
But its sheer shamelessness was on a level entirely beyond my ability to deal with.
"You needn't worry about me coveting the food you prepared. I'm merely here to roast this boar as it deserves to be roasted."
"What on earth is that supposed to..."
Had I at least been able to see its face, it might have been somewhat less infuriating — but all that emerged from behind that hard helmet was a deep, weighty voice, and nothing more.
My frustration could only keep swelling.
"Moments like this become memories too, you know."
The tin can murmured those words softly, gazing wistfully into the blazing bonfire.
Watching it happen right in front of me, I was struck dumb with disbelief — and, for some reason, a flicker of genuine displeasure — until all I could manage was a small, hollow laugh.
"Spare me the philosophy and hand the meat back."