A Promise I Might Not Be Able to Keep
I think I might have made a promise I couldn’t possibly keep.
“So what happened?”
That was the first question Caramel asked the moment she arrived for her weekend shift. The words excited, excited were practically written across her face.
……This girl really is obsessed with Eve. As Eve’s guardian, I’m grateful she cares so much, but every time I see her grab Eve’s chubby cheeks and go “Aww…” I get this strange feeling. It’s definitely not because I’ve never touched Eve’s cheeks myself and feel left out. Absolutely not.
“She definitely made new friends and seemed to have fun in her own way, but today she looked a little down on the way home.”
“Eve did? Hmm~ Did something happen?”
“I’m not sure…”
Caramel spoke while thinking hard. “Maybe school was too sudden for her? But it wasn’t that sudden… and Eve isn’t the type to be that sensitive. Listen, sir. Lately Eve has been approaching customers first and talking to them, you know? For that Eve to act like this… Could it be… Could it be bullying?!”
Among the endless stream of Caramel’s chatter, one word in particular stuck in my ear. At the word ‘bullying,’ scenes of Eve being ostracized flashed through my mind.
“…No way. That can’t be. Eve getting bullied… I can’t even imagine it.”
“Sir, the cup in your hand is shaking.”
Oops. The floor was already soaked.
“Ah, but I agree with you, sir. No matter how bad someone’s first impression is, there’s no way Eve would get bullied in a single day…”
“Bad personality? Eve is a good kid…?”
The moment I snapped back, Caramel’s chatter poured out again.
“I know, I know~ How much time do you think I’ve spent with Eve~ Listen, sir. It was when you were out doing volunteer work last time. Eve, get this……… blah blah blah… And then when she saw I looked tired, she came over and offered to help?! Waving those tiny hands around while working… It was so cute I was dying~~~~~ I took so many pictures… Hehe… Want to see? Look, look here… This one is Eve… blah blah blah…”
Only after watching Caramel go into full fan-girl mode was I able to regain my composure.
“Caramel. Stop.”
“Ehh, but I was just getting started?”
“We were talking about Eve’s school.”
“Oh right, that’s what we were doing! So what did you say happened?!”
“When I asked Eve, it seems going every day right now feels like too much for her.”
“Aha.”
“…Anyway, I don’t want to push her too hard, so for now we’re just going to keep an eye on the school situation.”
“Makes sense. There’s no rush~ Eve’s smart, so even if she starts ten years late she’ll catch up on classes in no time.”
“………Ten years is a bit much…”
Just then Eve returned from running an errand, so the conversation came to a natural end.
Ding~
“I’m back…”
Lately Eve had become genuinely enthusiastic about helping at the shop. Until last month she had only watched the counter with Caramel, but now she was stubbornly insisting on delivering medicine to places just five minutes away on foot. At first I had reflexively opposed it, but in the end I couldn’t win against the look in her eyes. The best compromise we reached was limiting her errands to safe areas only.
“Eve. Did you get there safely?”
“Yes… I delivered the medicine.”
“Good. Nothing happened, right?”
She nodded. Eve, who had nodded, stared up at me with wide eyes. Wondering if she had something to say, I waited quietly too. But she just kept staring at me with that blank… expression.
“…….”
…What is it?
Bzzzzzt! Maybe my confusion was too obvious, because Caramel suddenly popped out from behind me and started giving me hints. ‘Prai-ai-ise! Her! You! Have! To!’ she mouthed exaggeratedly, and only then did I realize what I had missed.
“W-wow~ Eve, you’re already doing medicine deliveries so well. That’s amazing~”
“Yes.”
“You’re going to become an even more incredible person when you grow up.”
Even my factory-grade praise seemed to make her happy. Eve asked in a slightly flushed voice.
“…If I work hard, can I get a real job?”
Eve asked that. But for a moment I was at a loss for words and couldn’t answer right away. The phrasing ‘get a real job’ bothered me more than words like ‘help’ or ‘run errands.’
I lowered myself to her eye level. I had no choice but to speak a little more gently.
“Do you want to work?”
“……….”
“You can work plenty later. There’s no need for you to do it right now.”
“I… like it here.”
Eve spoke as if trying to cover it up. “Later… I want to work like Caramel unnie…”
No matter how dense I was, I could vaguely tell that her real feelings were a little different from the hesitant, roundabout way she spoke. Caramel, who was listening, said something like “You can’t have a part-time job as your dream career?!” but I ignored her for now.
“As for how to make medicine… I can teach you as much as you want if you’re curious.”
I slowly stroked Eve’s forehead. Checking her temperature so often had become a habit.
“There’s plenty of time to think, so there’s no need to rush into working right now, is there?”
“…….”
Eve fidgeted with her fingers and slowly nodded. She probably wasn’t fully convinced, though.
I brushed the dust off Eve’s hands, which had gotten a little dirty from the delivery, and said, “And Eve, when you come back from going outside, wash your hands first.”
“Yes.”
While the obediently answering Eve headed toward the counter inside, Caramel quietly whispered to me.
“Eve really is admirable, isn’t she?”
“I feel like I’ve heard similar things from you about twenty times already.”
“Please endure it about ten more times.”
Caramel said playfully. I let out a small laugh, then looked up at the sky with a slightly worried tone.
“I hope those words about wanting to work… aren’t coming from a sense of debt.”
“I hope so too, but I think that might be a little difficult?”
“…?”
“You and Eve were complete strangers with no connection until just two months ago.”
“And?”
“She’s probably worried about when she might get abandoned again, or at least wants some certainty that it’s okay for her to be here. If I were in Eve’s position, I’d probably be anxious and try to do all sorts of things too.”
I looked at Caramel in surprise. “…I thought your nerves were pretty thick, but that’s unexpected.”
“It just means Eve’s worries could be that big too.”
“She’s still young, so she doesn’t have to think that deeply…”
“If the world worked the way adults wanted, parents wouldn’t have any worries, would they?”
“………”
“But we can just solve it going forward. It’s only been two months since you met, right?”
“…That’s true.”
I nodded unconsciously, thinking it was roughly right, then belatedly mulled over her age and narrowed my eyes.
“By the way, how do you know all this?”
“If we’re talking purely about the experience of raising two younger siblings, I’m more of an adult than you, sir!”
“Those siblings don’t listen to you anymore, though.”
“Hmph~ It’s because they’ve grown up.”
“…If you raised them, no matter how old they are, aren’t they still around Eve’s age?”
“………Huh?! W-what are you suddenly saying? Are you trying to slander me right now?!”
Caramel’s face turned bright red as she protested. I couldn’t help but have a reasonable suspicion.
“Hmm… They avoid you even though it’s not puberty…”
“Ugh… Ah… S-stop…”
“So your advice came from failure, huh.”
“…………!”
I had only meant to tease her lightly, but I didn’t expect her to get genuinely depressed.
“I thought I was being a pretty good older sister… Why do you kids avoid me…?”
It took about an hour to console Caramel, who was clutching her head in despair. It seemed sibling relationships were more difficult than I had thought.
*
That night, until I went to bed, my thoughts were all over the place. Mostly about Eve.
She has improved a lot, but Eve still holds back from me in many ways. If it’s an act of staying a good child so I won’t hate her, then honestly I don’t think it’s a very healthy relationship.
I don’t fully know about Eve’s past or her taboos. I’m investigating, but I’m only receiving secondhand information after the fact. I know very well that clumsily touching Eve’s wounds would only make them worse. Besides, my empathy isn’t good enough to pinpoint her trauma and comfort her anyway.
……At least the certainty that it’s okay to be here. That’s what Caramel had said.
Ironically, that ‘certainty’ felt even more vague to me than trying to catch clouds. At best, the only thing I could come up with was a childish ‘promise.’
“Eve.”
“Yes.”
“Come here for a second?”
When I lightly beckoned, Eve came trotting over in her pajamas.
“Stand right here for a moment.”
“………?”
“Just come over here and stand. It’s nothing special.”
Even though she hesitated, Eve obediently followed my gesture.
“I’m going to measure your height. How about it?”
“Height……?”
“Yeah, height. Measuring directly against the wall is the cleanest, right?”
I used the pen I had prepared to mark Eve’s height on the wall.
“You seem a little taller than when I first saw you. …Or maybe it’s because you’ve gotten healthier.”
Eve tilted her head. Sorry, Eve. That was half a lie. My eyes aren’t sharp enough to notice a growth spurt in just over two months.
“Do you think you’ll grow up to about here?”
I pointed to a spot near my own eye level and asked. Eve stayed quiet. After gauging it for a moment, she shook her head.
“Too tall……”
I guess becoming the same height as me feels a bit burdensome. Let’s lower it a bit. This time I pointed at shoulder height.
“This much?”
“……Hmm….”
She seemed to think shoulder height might be possible. This time Eve frowned seriously and began thinking hard.
I smiled softly and met her eyes.
“Eve, shall we make a fun bet?”
“…?”
“For the future. Having something like this is fun, right?”
I took out the pen. “Let’s do it here. Exactly up to my shoulder.”
I painted a noticeable ink mark at the predetermined height. Pointing at the spot, I told Eve,
“If you grow up to here one day, I’ll grant you one wish.”
“…A wish……?”
“Yeah, a wish. Anything you want to do or anything you want to have.”
“……”
It was a rather naïve condition, but that was fine.
“I wonder how long it’ll take. At least another ten years, probably?”
“……It’s long.”
“It is. Ten years. And that’s the minimum. It’ll be when you’ve grown up to be as old as Caramel unnie.”
I asked Eve, “Is there a wish you want to ask me for?”
“……….”
Instead of answering, Eve just stared at me intently. Maybe she didn’t want to say it right now? Or perhaps she simply couldn’t think of anything immediately.
“Think about it slowly.”
I gave a short laugh and added in a teasing tone, “By the way, you might not grow at all.”
“I can grow.”
Eve raised both hands high. Of course, right now they didn’t even come close to that far-off height. I wonder if she’ll ever reach it? It would be nice if she could… There’s no rush.
A day, a week, a month. It would be fine even if she stood on her tiptoes little by little and eventually forgot about it. Right now… if even the tiniest bit of the simple feeling that it’s okay for her to stay here until then could reach Eve… that alone would be enough.
That evening, Eve stared at the line I had marked for a long time until she finally fell asleep.