A Perfectly Legal Date
A perfectly legal date!
Had I read that wrong?
Denied……?
Shit, I had not seen a rejection coming!
"Hoyoyoyo… Lady Articetia."
My voice trembled, just a little.
"I-I believe there may have been some kind of misunderstanding!"
I hid my shaking hands under the table so she wouldn't see. Cold sweat beaded across my palms.
"This operation exists solely to elevate the quality of our intelligence and secure a strategic advantage for the Mausoleum Temple!"
My heart hammered against my ribs. Please let this work.
"If it failed to meet Your Majesty's standards of judgment, I will submit a separate report addressing every last one of those concerns! So I beg you — please, reconsider!"
Even after that impassioned plea, blue letters bloomed in the air.
[Denied.]
The words scattered like smoke.
Noooooooo!!
My heart dropped through the floor. Shit! Why?! Why was she tormenting me like this?! Sprinkling ashes all over my perfect plan — damn it all!!
And then, as if to soothe a heart that had been a breath away from tears, her index finger moved again.
[Disguise infiltration: Approved.]
Uh……?
Wait. What?
A faint hope bloomed in my chest. Then what exactly was the "denied" part?
Articetia's finger pointed straight at me.
[Do not leave my domain.]
What was that supposed to……?
[Execution… Mesath dies.]
The letters warped, melting as they drained away. A chill slid down my spine.
She was threatening me outright now! Which meant…… if I set one foot outside the Mausoleum Temple, she would execute me on the spot!
I genuinely wanted to cry. Truly.
At this rate I would become a slave of the Mausoleum Temple and live out the rest of my days as an enemy of humanity! That was the one thing I could not allow! I hadn't even dated anyone yet — hadn't gotten married, hadn't seen a son or a grandson or a daughter-in-law!!
Think, Mesath! I was a genius. Think! Think! Think!!
Articetia had told me not to leave her domain. What she wanted was to lock me up like a canary in a cage!
Wait. In that case……?
Ah……!!
"If that's your concern, no problem! Not a problem in the slightest, ksssss."
I shot to my feet.
"I have prepared an ultra—high-tech proposal that will blast Lady Articetia's worries clean through!!"
I clapped lightly. Clap, clap!
"Alpha! Activate Protocol 365!"
Utter silence.
Ugh… this was awkward. Right. The nanocore had shut down because of the Lord of the Underworld, hadn't it? Damn it.
No choice, then. Last resort.
I clasped my hands together and twisted my whole body into a coy little coil.
"Hoyoyo! Lady Articetia!!"
I made my voice deliberately prim.
"This humble follower has prepared a modest little performance, so would you be so kind as to retract that high-dimensional energy wave for just sixty-nine minutes? Aeing! I'm begging you! Dehet!"
I scraped together every last scrap of cuteness I possessed and cranked it to the maximum. How about that! She wouldn't be able to refuse now, would she?!
Articetia stared at me, unblinking, and then…… snapped her fingers.
Tak!
The will-o'-wisps drifting through the air coiled around the table in a circle, and pillars of fire erupted upward.
Fwoooooosh!
Hiiiek!! I-I'm sorry! I will never do aegyo again!
But the flames weren't coming for me. They spiraled inward and gathered around her!
Fwoooooooosh!!
Vines of fire wound about her head — a crown of thorns. The sharp spines sank into her forehead with a grotesque sound.
Crrrk—
Oh, shit.
No blood came, but just watching it made the pain feel contagious. Goosebumps crawled over my entire body. Articetia stroked the crown of thorns and wrote in the air.
[If you don't like it…….]
I swallowed hard and read the next line.
[Brace yourself.]
Oh, come on!
Who the hell was supposed to know she'd put a crown of thorns on her own head?! Damn it! I'd only planned a simple demonstration. Now I had to spin the entire plan a full five hundred and forty degrees.
Operation: Life-or-Death Talent Show! I had to satisfy Articetia by any means necessary!
I kicked the doors of the hall, and the disassembled pieces of my mechanical exoskeleton came flying. I threw up my hand.
"Come on!"
The exo-gauntlets locked onto the backs of my hands with a heavy thunk. Then the chest plating, the legs, and finally the reactor at my solar plexus.
"Suuuuuper Mesath! Transformation complete! Kishishishishishishit!"
Articetia's expression did not change. I thrust out my hand before her mood could sour.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is only the beginning!!"
Protocol Kane snapped into my grip. I pulled on the gas mask and stepped toward her.
"Would you close your eyes for a moment?"
She didn't turn her head. She just rolled her eyes upward to look at me. Terrifying! I was going to piss myself!!
"Oh! Nothing to worry about at all!"
Focus on the act! Do not let your voice shake!
"This is a perfectly safe item that has passed three thousand trials as a test subject! So please, sit back and enjoy the surprise, kssssss."
Hey, that wasn't a lie! It was a product I'd tested and verified over and over against Hwaminam!
Fortunately, my desperate sincerity seemed to get through. Articetia closed her eyes.
Haaah…… I was already exhausted. She was draining the life out of me.
The way she had once covered my eyes, I laid my hand over her eyelids. Her skin was incredibly soft. Cool to the touch, and the texture was… really nice.
Oops. Work first, before anyone got the wrong idea.
Goggles settled over her vision, blotting it out. All right — time to scan Articetia's physical form.
Analyzing biological structure…
Oh… her figure was incredi——
No. No! Get a grip! This was not the time to be impressed!
Avatar generation complete.
Good. Preparations were finished.
"Link Start!"
Articetia's shoulders went slack. Looks like the connection had succeeded. I sat down across from her. There she was, wearing the Avatar Connect Goggles.
"Hmmm……."
Right now she was completely defenseless. If I assassinated her like this……
I shook my head. Not yet. Wrecking the body would be meaningless. Until I conquered the unknown territory called the soul, any rash choice was off the table.
In the end I let out a sigh and connected to the avatar myself.
"Link Start."
I passed through a tunnel of countless stars stretching into long, luminous threads, and at last my eyes snapped open.
A noisy commotion filtered down through the ceiling from the floor above.
A train will be arriving shortly. Please step back behind the safety line.
I sat up from the capsule with practiced ease. The glass canopy opened automatically in time with the motion, sliding aside with a low hydraulic hum before locking into place with a solid clank.
Anyway — where was Articetia? She should have connected before I did. I looked to the side.
Another capsule. Articetia was lying inside it, turning her palms over and staring at the backs of her hands.
I walked over and knocked.
Knock, knock.
"Lady Articetia!"
The capsule opened, and I took her hand to help her up.
"A most sincere welcome to the world of the living, kssssss."
Drawn by my touch, she rose. The region we had connected to together was Hyehwa Station. Installing avatar-fabrication capsules along the subway lines had been a good call. I never thought I'd actually use them like this.
We waited for the elevator. A car that should have stopped at basement level one descended all the way to basement level three.
Ding-dong!
Welcome, Mesath.
"Hiyohhohohot! Shall we?"
I bowed at the waist and courteously indicated the elevator. Articetia stepped inside and slowly laced her fingers through mine.
"Hmm?"
She fidgeted against my palm, writing letters there.
[What is this body?]
The once-charismatic Lord of the Underworld, wearing a look of utter bewilderment! How to put it? It felt like conquest. Heh heh heh.
"An avatar to be used for infiltrating the Hero Association… in other words, a double! With this, there is absolutely no risk of being identified as a Main!"
I caught both of her hands and set them against her own cheeks so she could feel them herself.
"Well? The warm body heat, the steady pulse… can you feel the vitality of a human being? Ksssss……."
Articetia's eyes went round as she looked down at her own lovely hands.
How about that? This is Mesath's technology. Heh heh heh. Looks like her mouth fell open all on its own.
Come to think of it, I'd been curious about her voice too. Was I finally going to hear it?
Bzzzt—crack-crack-crack—
In that instant the elevator shook violently. The floor number on the display flickered and changed to FFF.
Wh… what the hell?!
But the anomaly faded almost as quickly as it had come.
"Hoyoyoyo…."
Just now…… that was a system error, right?
When I looked at Articetia again, her mouth was pressed tightly shut.
"A brief malfunction, it seems. Hiyohhohot!"
I lifted our joined hands and grinned.
"Today I shall show you firsthand exactly how I infiltrate the Hero Association. Any discourtesy that occurs in the process is entirely an act, meant to deceive humans! So I hope you will be generous enough to forgive it?"
Articetia tickled the back of my hand.
[Yeah.]
Okay! Perfectly legal date: approved!
I swept her platinum-blonde hair back and tucked it behind her ear.
"Then I'll be in your care today, Articetia."
I'd been quietly needling her pride, but… it didn't seem to land at all. Still expressionless.
Articetia slowly brushed my chest with her slender hand, like a paintbrush.
"Heup!"
Excuse me! My body is not a canvas, you know? Could you not press the sensitive buttons?!
Haaah…… Still, with my nerves wound this tight, the letters came through with perfect clarity.
[Looking forward to it.]
Right on cue, the elevator doors opened.
Ding-dong!
Hyehwa Station, swarming with people. A part-timer shouting to promote a little theater production.
"The Cat of the Moonlit Night! Final showing today at six! It's a romantic play, and there's a proposal event at Naksan Park, so make sure you come!"
Originally I'd planned to wrap this up with a light little stroll, just a taste. Heh heh heh.
All right, Articetia. You said you were looking forward to it, didn't you? Don't you worry. I'll show you a surprise event worthy of the Mausoleum Temple.
I drew her along by the hand.
"Shall we go, then?"