I Gave Birth to Lord Methart... Kyaah!

It had been so long.

No — this was the first time. A genuinely peaceful office.

I leaned back in the chair and kicked my feet up on the desk.

"Aigoo! Finally, I can breathe!"

It was that exact feeling you get sneaking onto the computer when Mom's out of the house.

I should've put Hongryeon to work like this ages ago!

Dogwang is FREE!

Heh heh heh.

I gave a light clap.

Clap, clap!

"Alpha! Pour me a nice cold cola."

Leave it to Alpha. Say one thing and they understand ten. I really did raise them well.

"Yeah, yeah. You can't have an action movie without popcorn!"

A robotic claw descended from the ceiling and delivered the cola and the popcorn. I grabbed a handful and looked up at the enormous widescreen.

The view unfolding from Hongryeon's eyes.

The Maid Corps formation was gliding at high speed, every last one of them — Hongryeon included — wearing a gas mask.

"Whoa... so we've officially entered the age of flying people."

I mean, I built them, but still. I was so proud!

"I can fly the sky! Lulu lulu lu! Lu. Lu. Lu. Lululu."

The tune just slipped out of me.

That was when a red targeting reticle bloomed across Hongryeon's HUD.

"Hm?"

Camouflaged anti-aircraft guns in the mountains. At a glance they looked like nothing more than tree branches. Eighteen barrels in total, all swinging toward the Maid Corps.

"Heh heh heh. Now it's getting started for real."

Go on, get wiped out right here. The Maid Corps takes casualties and gets captured. That was the plan.

But contrary to every hope I had, Hongryeon glanced back over her shoulder.

"Blaze Unit Taehwa. Neutralize the enemy."

Scarlet flames erupted from a pair of thigh-high boots as one of the maids slammed to a midair halt. Taehwa.

"Aye aye, sir!!"

She locked both hands on the ground below. Nanocores dismantled her hands on the spot and reformed them into a six-barreled gatling gun.

And that was only the opening act. Missile pods sprouted from her back like a pair of wings.

I had left the weapons distribution to Hongryeon, but still... this was overkill even for me!

"Blaze Unit Taehwa! Weapons hot! I'm gonna torch the whole damn lot of 'em!!"

Taehwa threw in a wink.

"Haaah!"

The gatling barrels spun up with a bone-shaking roar.

VVVRRRRRRR—

A screaming torrent of automatic fire hammered the mountainside.

BRRRRRRRRT!!

High-explosive rounds poured down like a laser. Trees toppled in rows as walls of flame erupted, and then the missiles left the rails.

KABOOM!

BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!

KABOOOOOM!!

As if announcing the Maid Corps' spectacular debut, they turned the entire mountain into a sea of fire.

FWOOOOOOSH—

The handful of popcorn froze halfway to my mouth.

"What the f..."

Taehwa's report came in almost immediately.

"Heh! All eighteen anti-aircraft guns destroyed!"

What is this firepower, an entire army division?

Hongryeon landed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lightly at the bunker entrance that had been laid bare in the flames. A forearm-length saber ejected from her palm, and the hypersonic plasma cutter along its edge flushed with a pure white radiance.

ZIIIIIING—

She drove the blade into the thick steel blast door without a shred of hesitation.

Sizzle-sizzle-sizzle-SSSSZT—

The first blast door stretched like melting cheese and sloughed apart. Wherever her hand swept, the steel parted as if it were nothing, and a hole opened through.

Hongryeon took one step forward — and paused.

"Hm?"

A second barrier, already waiting in her way.

I snorted and took a long pull of cola.

"Hiyoyoyo! Oh, whatever shall we do! Did you think the Hero Association would be that easy?"

Hongryeon looked back.

"Blaze Unit Yuram. Clear the obstacles."

The maid who received the order — Yuram — lit up.

"Yes! Finally, my turn!"

Nanocores erupted outward and forged a massive full-body suit of armor. Her bulk swelled until she looked five times her original size.

Well... calling it armor was generous. Giant robot was the more honest description.

"Here we go, here we go! HERE WE GO!!"

She laced her fingers together. The two hands fused and transformed into a drill, which began to spin with a furious whine.

WHIIIIIIIR—

"Lord Methart! Please watch this Yuram's moment of glory!"

Long tongues of flame blasted from the rocket-engine nozzles along her back and hooves.

FWOOOOOOSH!!

"All right! Going in!!"

The locks on her hooves disengaged, and Yuram launched herself forward in an ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠explosive charge.

KRAAAAAANG!

The drill slammed into the first blast door. Sparks sprayed in every direction.

CRACKLE-CRACKLE-SNAP!

It punched through as easily as a screw biting into a sponge.

KRANG!

"That's one down!"

Then the second barrier...

KRAANG!

"Yes! Number two!"

The third.

KRANG!

The fourth...

KRAANG!

All the way through the fifth......

KRAAAAAANG!!

Yuram burst into a corridor wide enough for three tanks to pass abreast.

"Obstacles cleared! So? I did great, right? Heheh!"

I frowned at the feed coming from Yuram's point of view.

"What is this?"

Soldiers were packed along the corridor. The instant she came through, they opened up with a hail of rifle fire.

TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!

"Do not cease fire!!"

TAT-TAT-TAT!

"AP rounds! Get the armor-piercing rounds!!"

Uh... Captain? Armor-piercing rounds are not going to punch through Yuram's outer plating.

Because Yuram was the strongest tank in the entire Maid Corps. Her outer armor was harder than graphene.

"Hey, hey! While we're at it, why don't you all get modification surgery from Lord Methart too?"

Yuram hoisted the massive shield mounted to her forearm.

"The pain's only temporary! Even if you get crushed, Lord Methart can fix everything, so don't you worry! Hihi!"

Hey. Hey!

Even I can't fully restore a destroyed brain!!

I snatched up the microphone.

"STOOOOOP!!"

Yuram's robotic head tilted up toward empty air.

"Uh...? Lord Methart?!"

I had underestimated the Maid Corps badly. No — I had overestimated the Hero Plus Research Institute. I never imagined the defenses would be this sloppy!

If it were me, I would have built the barriers out of magnetic-flux-blocking plasma shields! Just install a reverse-phase ultrasonic generator inside the door to cancel out hypersonic vibration and you're done!

Aigoo......

This wouldn't do. I needed to put a handicap on them. Otherwise my perfect plan was going to go up in smoke.

"Well, this is just... no fun at all! No fun! They're so boring!"

The transmission went out to every member of the Maid Corps.

"Ladies of the Maid Corps! How about a little game with me?! Kishishit! If you complete the mission without a single fatality — enemy or ally — this Methart shall bestow upon you a fantastic reward!"

Hongryeon's reply came through.

"That this maiden has failed to amuse Lord Methart... I am truly, deeply sorry. This maiden shall gladly abide by the rules you have set forth."

It was an absurd demand. Thankfully, she went along with it without a fuss.

Heh heh heh.

But now that they'd accepted, that was it. Did they really think they could finish this mission without killing anyone? This was a critical Hero Association facility. This was the Hero Plus Research Institute!

Clearing it was supposed to be impossible!

That was when a wind spirit cut into the channel — Pungryeong, formerly the hero known as Windy.

"Um... I believe responding to an enemy attack constitutes self-defense. If we try to complete the mission without killing anyone, our own casualties will be severe."

Pungryeong stroked the chin of her gas mask.

"Surely... this can't be the case, but. Lord Methart, you don't actually want us wiped out, do you......"

...Oh, shit.

What? How did she nail that exactly?!

Did I accidentally say that out loud?

The accuracy of Pungryeong's read sent a chill down my spine. But before she could finish, Hongryeon clamped a hand around her throat and cut the words off cold.

"Khurk!"

Hongryeon's grip lifted Pungryeong clean off the ground. Her feet kicked at the air as she shook her head.

"Kh... nngh......"

"You are Lord Methart's maid. A maid obeys her master's commands without question. Did I not teach you this?"

"I... I'm sor... hngh... forgive me......"

Hongryeon opened her hand and let her drop. Pungryeong's skirt flared as she fell to her knees on the floor.

"Hahhk! Hahk!"

"...I am disappointed, Pungryeong. Do you truly fail to grasp Lord Methart's grand design?"

Sorry? What design?

Hongryeon turned away, her voice utterly flat.

"The power to decide life and death has always belonged to the strong... An overwhelming disparity in power will snap the heroes' spirit at the root."

She carved a vicious line through the empty air with her blue blade.

SHIIING—!

"Lord Methart intends to shatter the very foundation of the heroes... their convictions themselves. Through overwhelming, primal terror... Do you understand?"

......No.

I don't understand that at all.

"Ahem."

I have no idea what she's talking about, but I should probably pretend I do.

"Hiyohohohohot! As expected, only Hongryeon can discern this body's true intent! You've saved me the trouble of explaining!!"

A chorus of awe burst across the Maid Corps channel.

"Wow... I never would have guessed there was an intention like that behind it......"

"When I first heard the order I thought he was a hero, not a Main. But of course — an S-Class Arch-Main. The way he thinks is on another level. Incredible......"

"Hmph! Isn't that obvious? He's Lord Methart. I believed in him from the start."

"Phew... and here I thought... he just wanted to watch us suffer. I mean... if it was for Lord Methart... I could do that for him......"

"Hey! Don't say something so rude. You think Lord Methart is a pervert like you?!"

Hey, hey, HEY!!

Who was that last one? I don't know what you're offering, but don't you dare!!

Haa......

Pungryeong's suspicion was so much better than this.

Damn it all......

The assault unit — Blaze Unit — moved.

Seopung split the wind, her frilled skirt snapping behind her. She closed the distance at near-supersonic speed and gave her crescent blade a lazy twirl.

"So we just have to not kill them, right?"

She gave the shaft a slight twist and smashed the back of the blade into a soldier's left arm.

CRACK!

"Kh?!"

The soldier never even got a scream out before he went flying. And that was the dull side of the blade. His arm was already hanging in tatters.

Ugh... gruesome.

I grabbed the microphone and opened Aenghwa's channel in the Springtide Unit.

"Hiyohohot! Once the situation is under control, kindly treat the soldiers, Aenghwa."

A healer whose position was the manipulation of living tissue. She could restore them perfectly, without so much as a scar.

"Treat... the enemy...?"

Ah. Before she gets the wrong idea, I should borrow Hongryeon's nonsense from a second ago and paper over this.

"Imagine it! A Main launches a surprise attack — and there are no wounded? Picture the look on the heroes' faces when they witness that! Ooooh! Does it not send a shiver through your entire body?!"

Aenghwa's eyes slid sideways.

"Ah... yes......"

Of course she couldn't relate. That was the normal reaction. If someone fed me garbage like that, I would have called them a lunatic too.

Aenghwa: certified sane! Excellent work!

Meanwhile, Hahyeon of the Blaze Unit waggled the ten fingers she was using to control her wires and made an announcement to the soldiers.

"Move and your whole body turns into Lego pieces. How about it? Want to trust that unnie over there and get sliced up?"

Wires bound the soldiers from head to toe. The slightest twitch sent the steel biting into flesh, and blood welled along the lines.

Aenghwa laid a hand on a soldier's crushed arm. A wash of green light poured out, and the arm settled back into its proper place.

"Haa... you guys make the mess and then dump the cleanup on me."

The soldier's head slumped. Sedative administered. Perfect.

The bunker entrance was more or less secured. Hongryeon tipped her chin at Yeonhyang of the Springtide Unit, and Yeonhyang walked out into the open ground and spread both hands.

"Heh heh... it's an honor to be entrusted with such a critical mission."

Nanocores drifted from her sleeves like pollen, gathering the surrounding steel and the soldiers' ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠uniforms. They drew together, coalescing, taking shape.

Spiky hair beneath a gas mask. A white coat flaring open over a mechanical exoskeleton. A compact reactor gleaming at the sternum. And finally, a crystal-orb staff settling into one hand......

It was me. Methart.

The structure wasn't perfect yet, so max output was off the table... but as a doppelganger cyborg, it was more than adequate.

Time to go, then.

"Link!"

My consciousness was sucked down and away. When I opened my eyes, I was looking at the inside of the bunker from the cyborg Methart's point of view.

"Ahem, ahem! Sensitivity is excellent! Truly superb work! Well done, Yeonhyang."

Yeonhyang covered her flushed cheeks with both palms and mumbled to herself.

"Oh nooo! I... hehe... I just gave birth to Lord Methart... Kyaah! I didn't say that!"

A beat of absolute silence.

The fuck?

What kind of garbage is that supposed to be?

No, hold on — you people used to be normal heroes! Why does everyone lose their minds the second they set foot in the Super-science Dungeon?!

Good grief. Not a single one of them was right in the head.

Cheongmae of the Springtide Unit deployed a honeycomb-pattern shield and fell in to escort me. I clasped my hands behind my back and started walking.

"Hmmm!! Such a refreshing bouquet of blood! Nothing like a stroll after so long to clear the lungs! Hiyohohohohot!!"

Well... the gas mask filters meant I couldn't actually smell a thing. Figure of speech. On the inside I was a perfectly ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠ordinary civilian, but from the outside I still had to look like a Main......

My stroll, however, did not last long.

At the end of the corridor, in a vast cavern, shadows stepped out to bar the way.

"Oh my. Had I known such lovely guests were coming, I would have prepared some snacks to go with the drinks."

An old man tipped back a gourd of makgeolli.

"Kyah! Hic......"

Letters bloomed across the gas mask HUD.

Huh? What? There was a much bigger fish hiding here than I expected.

"Heh heh heh... I've nothing much to offer, but......"

Drunken Moonlight, dressed in a scholar's robes, gave his wide sleeves a flourish and closed a hand around his saber. He tipped his straw hat up with the gourd and let the corner of his mouth curl.

"......shall we have ourselves a little fun?"