The Super-Science Maid Corps

Super-science Dungeon, Sublevel B5—Massat Headquarters.

I slumped back in my office chair and let my head fall against the rest.

"Ahhh..."

I just could not summon a shred of motivation. Where, exactly, had this all gone so wrong? I stared blankly at the monitor in front of me. The heroes packed aboard the Hyperloop filled the screen, smiles plastered across every face, eyes shining bright as stars.

And this was the result. Three hundred and eighty-four hours—roughly sixteen days—of masterful lectures, all synced to Morse code.

Yeah, thanks a lot for finally figuring out the truth! But for fuck's sake...! If you knew, you should've beaten Hongryeon and Mechaman and Pumpchi and all the rest of the Mains and come to rescue me!!

"Massat's maid? Ah! Then you must be a friend of his!"

"That guy's our bestie!!"

I am going to lose my mind.

"Uwaaaaaaah!"

I raked my fingers through my hair until it stood on end in every direction.

Alpha's mechanical voice cut in.

"Right. Once they arrive, make sure they get clear directions to Gangnam Station."

What else was I supposed to expect from heroes who'd already lost the will to fight? Dammit!

Just because my rank is Dungeon Lord, they think every Main under my command is some citizen with a tragic backstory!

"Haaaah..."

A sigh slipped out of me. Still, the sight of Baekho sleeping so peacefully in the Hyperloop car lifted my mood a little. I laced my fingers together and smiled, thoroughly pleased. The surgery had gone off without a hitch.

"Ksssssss. I'll be looking forward to your Next ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠plan, Baekho."

Now that he'd grasped the truth, I would give him some time to himself. Once his heart was set, he could come and rescue me. Heh. I hoped he liked his gift.

That was when a CCTV feed popped up in the corner of the monitor.

"Hiiik!"

Hongryeon was clicking toward the office in her high heels!

Augh! I can't even have five minutes to myself! I swear...!!

I threw on my white coat in a hurry, planted a hand over my groin, and launched into a hip-thrusting dance of boundless self-confidence. The automatic door slid open.

Wiiiiiing—

"Hoo! Ha! Once again, I am perfection itself! Me! Massat! You are simply adorable! Keeheeheeheeheeheet!!"

Hongryeon's expressionless gaze stared back at me from the mirrored camera feed. Articetia was the same way, and so was Hongryeon. I could never tell what either of them was thinking. I'd figured the dance was plenty repulsive, but... was this actually her type?

"Should you be occupied, this maiden shall return at a later hour."

Hongryeon bowed her head and started to withdraw. I bounced my hips and advanced on her.

"Hoo! Ha! Not a problem in the slightest! A little light cardio does wonders for cerebral activity! Come!! You join in too, Hongryeon!"

My white coat flared as I spun a full circle, snagged her by the wrist, and pulled her in until our bodies were flush.

"Alpha! Music, cue!!"

And yet... a sultry jazz number oozed out of the office speakers. A trumpet solo. The peculiar atmosphere of someone lingering over a glass of wine. She was dropping the energy this hard, this suddenly? Was this right, Alpha?

"Hiyohhohhot! The beauty of delayed gratification! A leisurely dance now and then is wonderful for body and mind! Good choice!"

Ah, whatever.

I set a hand on Hongryeon's waist and stepped slowly to the beat. She stared straight through me, her face gone faintly vacant. When I met her eyes, she dropped her gaze in a hurry. There might even have been a faint flush on her cheeks. Don't tell me she'd caught a cold...

I shook my head. A cold, in an artificial body? She'd been throwing the occasional bug lately. I was going to have to take a look at her one of these days.

"So... Hongryeon. You did come here for a reason, did you not?"

Only then did she lift her head.

"This maiden hath come to deliver a status report on the sixteen female subjects."

Ah. Right. The victims who'd fallen prey ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to Hwaminam's parasitic plants. While I'd been running the Morse-code master class for sixteen days, they had been undergoing rehabilitation. Under ordinary circumstances I could have modified them and skipped the rehab entirely, but... I wasn't actually a mad scientist. Except in a genuine emergency, I did not go around remodeling patients without their consent.

Oh yeah... model citizen, that's me!

The light music swelled toward its climax. I bent Hongryeon at the waist, dipping her until she was nearly horizontal, and brought my face close to hers. That bug of hers had been triggering a lot lately. She'd frozen up again, mouth hanging open in a daze.

"Beep-boop!"

I pressed my index finger gently to her pink lips.

"The continue-report button! Hiyohhohhohhot!"

I set her back on her feet, hopped lightly onto the desk, and perched on the edge.

"I am most curious about their progress! The moment their condition improves, they must be sent to the Hero Association! Kishishishishit!"

Hongryeon had proposed using them as spies, but... what would I even do with a political operation inside the Association? What, seize the Hero Association and conquer the world? Was I insane?! I did not have that kind of capacity. More than anything, I preferred finding my small happiness in a space of my own.

Hongryeon drew a sheaf of documents from her coat.

"These are the sixteen modification consent forms."

Huh?

They'd refused so firmly before—and now, suddenly?

"This maiden surmises the greatest cause to be the loss of their Gifts—the very core of a hero—during the emergency surgery."

Ah... that part, at least, I understood. In the process of extracting the parasitic plants that had taken root in their brains, their Gifts had evaporated as well. The reason? I had no idea either. Thanks to Hwaminam, I had only just begun researching hero Gifts.

"Hmmm..."

I flipped through the consent forms one by one, stroking my chin. This was not how it was supposed to go... Per Hongryeon's suggestion, I had planned to disguise them as spies and quietly let them go. Then I saw the separate sheet attached behind the consent forms.

Have they lost their minds? Why would they volunteer to become Mains?!

I shot to my feet. For all I knew, Hongryeon had threatened them into this. I needed to meet them myself.

"The Super-science Dungeon admits only suuuuuuper elites! Therefore this suuuuper genius shall conduct the interviews in person! Kishishishishishit!!"

I pulled on my gas mask and headed for the rehabilitation ward I had newly established on Sublevel B2. Hands clasped behind my back, I stopped before the automatic door. A laser swept over me.

Anyone watching would think I'd locked them up in there, but please don't misunderstand. The Mains might have harassed them. So I isolated them thoroughly. For their own protection!

Wiiiiiing—

The instant the automatic door opened, a ping-pong ball came flying at my face. What the—?! At the same moment, a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠savage gust roared over my shoulder.

Whoooooosh!

A slender hand shot out.

Crrrrunch—

The ping-pong ball disintegrated completely in Hongryeon's clenched fist.

"To dare inflict harm upon Lord Massat's precious person... they deserve to die a thousand deaths."

Two women came rushing over and bowed their heads in a panic, ping-pong paddles still in their hands.

"We're so sorry!"

"We had no idea Lord Massat would be coming... please forgive us."

Something's off here. Lord Massat?

I wagged a finger left and right and laughed with expansive generosity.

"No problem! Massat's heart is wider than the Pacific! Hiyohhohhot!!"

Hands still behind my back, I strolled through the rehabilitation ward and took it in. A ping-pong court was only the beginning. There was a full gym stocked with every kind of exercise equipment. A roller coaster for a change of pace, too—one that plunged into the sea, so they could admire all manner of marine life. Meals were no issue; they ordered from a kiosk and a drone delivered whatever they wanted. I had even piped in submarine sulfur-spring water and built them a jjimjilbang. Nerve-pain relief, stress reduction, anti-aging for the skin—the benefits were extensive!

I didn't see anyone, though. Don't tell me they were all in the jjimjilbang?

The moment I stepped into the hot spring, thick with hazy steam—

"Oh my! Lord Massat!"

Heroes wrapped in towels came running toward me with languid, melting smiles.

"You've arrived?"

"If you'd let us know ahead of time, we would have come out to greet you."

"Exactly. We're so sorry you have to see us like this."

No, seriously! Why is everyone suddenly acting like this?!

I held up the documents and smiled.

"Kishishishit! The purpose of my visit is none other than this!"

"These are... the modification surgery consent forms."

Windy, a B-Class hero who looked to be the most senior among them. She was in her early thirties, and her mature figure was so striking I had nowhere safe to put my eyes. I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠needed to finish my business and get out of here. The leash on my self-control was in serious danger!

I flipped a page and showed them the attached sheet. The Super-science Dungeon Entry Application.

"I will ab-so-lutely not force anyone! The choice is entirely your privilege! Hiyohhohhot!"

Time to flip the mood. I am not turning these people into Mains!

"But a privilege of that magnitude comes with only one chance. A one-way ticket, you understand. A choice that can never be undone. Kishishit... will you entrust your lives to this Massat?"

Well?! You want to slave away under a mad scientist? So go on and refuse! Just say you want to go home. I'll shoot you straight to Yeouido, where the Hero Association is—and I'll do it in three minutes!!

But contrary to my desperate hopes, Windy nodded slowly.

Have they gone insane from being in a dungeon? I mean, I've been in one for nearly eight months myself, so I get how that happens, but...

Windy looked around the jjimjilbang with sorrowful eyes.

"The entire time we were with the Hero Association... not a single person understood our pain."

"Kishit... your pain?"

Tears welled in Windy's eyes.

"Five years of Hwaminam toying with us, using us... we wanted to die, but the parasitic plants wouldn't even let us take our own lives."

She looked straight at me.

"But you were different, Lord Massat. You saw through Hwaminam's schemes in a single stroke... and you saved all sixteen of us."

Windy sank to her knees.

"If you had not been there, we would have suffered until the very moment we died."

The other heroes lowered themselves as well.

"We want to work in the Super-science Dungeon. Please... take us in."

Heroes, bowing before me. Wait—was someone bowing twice?! Hey, I'm not dead yet! There's a living person in the Mausoleum Temple too!!

The atmosphere left me with no room to refuse. This was extremely inconvenient. What was I supposed to do...

That was when Hongryeon stepped forward and whispered.

"What say you to inducting them into a maid corps? This maiden shall take it upon herself to train them as Lord Massat's exclusive maid corps."

...A maid corps?