Feigning Madness with Skyrocketing Prices

"▷From: PrettierWithGlasses

It was a short message, but the intent came through crystal clear. They wanted to buy my crops exclusively. And not content with snapping up all those carrots I'd listed at a pretend-insane 20,000 won each, now they were talking 100,000 won apiece.

"Pfft…."

I couldn't help but burst out laughing first thing in the morning.

Who do they think they're fooling…?

Yeah, honestly, it had seemed off from the start. When they bought those carrots at 20,000 won—a vegetable with no special effects, just double the size, taste, and nutrients—I should've been suspicious right then. If you need double the nutrients, just buy two 500-won carrots from the store. Who shells out 100,000 won for something you could get for 500 won just because it's bigger and tastier?

They say scams run rampant even in Dungeon Shops!

No matter how unpopular carrots are, I didn't expect a con like this. They probably figured low sales meant I was desperate…. But I've got my guide gigs, plus that bounty from the Association—my pockets are plenty lined!

Still, it didn't feel half bad. They might've been trying to scam me, but like any con artist cozying up to buy favor, their efforts led to a clean sweep of those 50 carrots at 20,000 won each.

So I hadn't lost a thing—in fact, I'd come out ahead.

Heh heh heh… you gotta pick your marks when running a scam!

I'm no gullible pushover who falls for that crap!

Come to think of it, that username PrettierWithGlasses reeked of scammer from the jump. If it'd been PrettierWithoutGlasses, I might've bought it.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and headed to the nearby stream. The carrots had sprouted nicely overnight; by the time Choi Eunji and Kim Chaerin showed up, they'd be ready for harvest.

Splash—splash—

A quick wash in the cool stream water cleared my head a bit. I bought some bottled water (500 won) and eggs (8,000 won for 10) from the Dungeon Shop, then detached a small pot from the magic cookware set I'd picked up yesterday and filled it from the stream.

The world sure has gotten convenient. No need to build a fire—this pot had built-in magic for temperature control. And after use, just hit the clean button for automatic washing.

To think I only discovered this gem now!

I'd lived solo for ages, but home-cooked meals were rare. Cooking itself wasn't the hassle; it was the dishes piling up afterward.

But auto-clean? Dishwashers existed out in the world, sure, but it never crossed my mind for a bachelor pad. Either way, no loading required—just one button to clean whatever you'd used. Incredible.

└ Usable only in dungeons was the catch, though.

Browsing the shop yesterday, I'd noticed plenty of dungeon-exclusive items.

Should I just live in a dungeon at this point?

They even sold houses and camping gear. With this level of convenience, farming full-time in a dungeon didn't sound half bad.

But not yet. Until I could grow crops with real effects for steady income, guide work kept the lights on. I knew better than most how crucial reliable monthly cash was, bounty windfalls or not.

Relocation could wait. I dumped the eggs into the pot of water, set it to boil, and chugged some bottled water while they cooked.

Gulp—gulp—

The feather mat must've been comfier than it looked; I slept like a rock. An impromptu campout had its rustic charm ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sometimes.

Soon the eggs were done. I dunked them in the cold stream, then blew on the lingering heat as I peeled one.

No effects, just store-bought eggs—but outdoors, they tasted like heaven.

Crunch—crunch—

No salt was a bummer, but the pure protein hit the spot. I'd planned to save two each for Eunji and Chaerin, but… I polished off all ten.

Eh… protein…

Hey, I'd burned a handful yesterday—gotta recharge.

To cover my tracks, I tidied up quick, folded the feather mat, and stashed it in the space-expansion bag from yesterday. It claimed to fit items up to a meter long. Pretty wild.

I spent a good while sticking my arm in and out, geeking out like a primitive discovering tech.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Th-that looks just like mine—"

Choi Eunji and Kim Chaerin had entered the dungeon.

"Just wait a sec. Almost done."

A bit longer, and I'd harvest those effect-less carrots.

"No way, they have to have effects this time!"

I'd sworn not to get my hopes up, but human nature's a sneaky bastard.

Last night, just in case, I'd peed on the farm plot—but the growth time hadn't budged. Was it women only? Or tied to awakening rank? Either way, the farm owner's piss had zero effect, another letdown.

"Um… c-can I help with anything…?"

"Huh? Help with what?"

"You know, the farming…."

Eunji suddenly offering aid? Suspicious.

"I-I'll help, so when you harvest… can I have just one…?"

"No! Buy it with money!"

Riches to rags, begging for a nibble! Lovers or not, business is business.

"This is like my sweat-and-blood child…."

Eh, not quite that dramatic.

"Anyway, buy it from the shop!"

"......."

Watching her face boil red was kinda fun. Pretty is pretty—cleared my mind right up.

"I'll just help out—!"

"You're good. It's not hard anyway."

Fifty seeds meant fifty carrots, ripe for Harvest skill insta-pick. No help needed.

Right on cue, the completion alert popped.

……………

Speechless for a sec, but that's farming for ya. Stick with it, and eventually….

Fuck… balls…!!!

Shaking it off, I listed the carrots and disbanded the farm plot.

Figuring that morning's gullible scammer might bite again, I boldly listed them at 50,000 won each. No real expectations—just hoping for another sucker. Fresh marks are everywhere.

Atop the Hill of Good and Evil.

A suspicious cave lurked at the peak, known habitat of the Jam Tigers. Vision-distortion magic cloaked its entrance, keeping it secret from humans.

Only red-eyed Jam Tigers could spot and pass through, entering a cave much like any other. Deeper in, another distortion wall led to a vast cavern.

Dozens of Jam Tigers gathered there—unusual for solitary beasts. Such assemblies signaled major issues or changes.

Oddly, they weren't clustered together but spaced out, all facing a central elder Jam Tiger clutching a massive staff, each yowling their piece.

"Nyang!"

"Nyanyanyanyang!!!"

The elder, staff twice his height, called for silence—but the east entrance guard captain bellowed back defiantly.

"Mark my words, Jelly! Your reckless stunt nearly brought disaster on our Black Cat Fighter clan!"

"But I clearly tasted…! I mean, saw it, I swear?!"

"Then where's the proof?"

With it fully digested in his belly, proof was long gone.

"Th-that…!"

"Enough! The recent riots have humans on edge!"

"But if we can eat the vegetables that one grew, our clan could reclaim our former glory!"

"Impossible!"

The elder's roar silenced them all with sullen nyamooks. They all knew.

Driven to the Hill of Good and Evil after losing territory wars, the Black Cat Fighters subsisted on poisonous snake fruit, enduring woes—like the poison pheromones.

Once they'd groom each other, rub bodies, knead paws in bliss. But accumulated toxins now wafted as pheromone stench, severing bonds.

No more cuddling or licking. The reek was unbearable up close. Mating hormones offset it somewhat during heat, preserving the species—but sex was mere procreation now, no pleasure.

Outside heat, they couldn't share five meters for a minute. Guard Captain Jelly's words weren't idle chatter.

"Then bring proof, nyang!"

"Nyanyang!"

Proof might warrant reconsideration. The leaders' council—first in nearly a decade—wrapped up fast. They were on the brink from each other's poison pheromones.

Heading back, Jelly fiddled with fruits hidden in his fluffy fur, pondering.

"Nyaaang…."