Lust Slime Onslaught and the Master's Disappointing Carrots
Silent but deadly interest—thud thud thud—the Lust Slimes bounced across the ground and lunged at Choi Eunji and Kim Chaerin.
"Eek—!"
"Hehehehe…."
Squish—squish—the slime burrowing between Eunji's legs was blocked by her hand, and smack!smack!—the one charging into Chaerin's skirt got swatted away by her casual swing, flying off into the distance.
The reason we'd come here was simple: boosting defense. More precisely, raising stamina stats.
Known as hermaphrodites, Lust Slimes ignore men completely. They only go after women, which made them surprisingly popular among female awakeners.
Word was, if you let them have their way, your stamina stat would tick up bit by bit. Sure, it only worked at low levels, but since it was a permanent +1, plenty of women made the trip.
And the strategy wasn't hard. They aimed for between the legs and the chest. Guard those spots well, and boom—stamina stat up.
Even if you failed to block, they didn't pack any real punch. It just felt gross, like being violated, as people put it. Bumping into one left you covered in their sticky slime fluid, and that slimy texture was the real nightmare.
'Well, tastes differ among women.'
Anyway, Eunji had visited the Phoenix Nest three times before today, but she'd never gotten a stat boost—just a thorough sliming. Especially that first day when she ignored me and wore a skirt… chaos. Pulling the slime out from inside her panties… fuu… just thinking about it gets me hard again. Saintess pussy.
But what could she do? Eunji's burning desire for stat gains kept her coming back.
"Hah—hngh—mmph! Ahh!"
At least today she was geared up in running tights—full armor?—so no direct skin hits. But Lust Slimes were quicker than they looked. They'd feint low, then bounce up to poke her chest before retreating, leaving her face twisted in fury. Had to feel like straight-up harassment.
Chaerin, meanwhile, squatted low and hammered incoming slimes with her tiny fists like a pro, grinning innocently. But Eunji's face was beet red. Her clothes were soaked with slime goo, outlining every curve, and with the relentless focus on her chest and crotch, her breathing grew ragged. Sweat drenched her hair and face.
Defending against the attacks while panting like that? No wonder it sounded like aroused moans.
I'd seen it in the shop window too—their technique was insane, apparently.
One time, some 10cm ragebait psycho got pissed and posted his dick pic in my shop, landing me a day-long ban. No biggie since I had nothing for sale anyway… but the other users treating my shop like a gallery flipped out. They demanded I block the guy, so I did—lost a potential customer, end of drama.
Anyway, "Hahng~ hngh! Ah fuck! Eek~ mm! Heung~"
Moans or grunts? Even I couldn't tell.
No stat change for Eunji this time either—just slime-drenched and looking thoroughly violated as we headed down.
"Hey, wipe yourself off."
"Tch… I really thought it'd go up today…."
A bit pitiful, but "Shouldn't you just give up on stats? Stick to healing."
"Shut up!!!"
No point dragging this out—it'd just shorten my lifespan. I tossed her the wet wipes she loves, and we headed to the farm.
"Ooooh!!!"
"Woo-hoo!!!"
The carrots fully grown across the farm drew cheers from us, and Chaerin chiming in made it even more satisfying.
★ Arriving at the farm and seeing the fully grown carrots nearly stopped my heart. It was way different from before. Uniform rows of carrots sprouting evenly. Their orange bodies peeking just above the soil—it was peak farmer bliss.
Especially since these were seeds from my idol, Kim Cheolmin the Farmer Master, bought from his shop. Expectations were sky-high.
Market carrot seeds went for 500 won per 30-pack—the priciest ones. Cheaper spots charged 3,000 won for 1,500 seeds.
Last time, 30 seeds yielded 110 carrots. Today, his 10,000-won-per-seed collection gave exactly 50—matching what I planted.
Fewer, but the moment I saw them, expectation turned to certainty.
What did that mean? If they weren't special-effect wonders yielding one carrot per seed, what were they?
Plus, huge—like my synthesized To-carrots. Pumped, I used Harvest skill, snagging the glossy orange beauties in one go.
And the popup right after.
………? Huh? Excuse me…?
Legs gave out; I dropped to my knees.
Pulled one from inventory, turned it over. "Gulp—!"
Eunji swallowing hungrily amid my despair, but whatever.
Big Size Carrot. Twice the size, twice the taste, twice the nutrients…. And zero effects. Just a damn carrot.
So the only upgrade was double size? At 10,000 won per seed, to break even at 1,000 profit I'd need 11,000 won each….
"Twice the size and taste… haha… hahahaha… twice the nutrients… hah… ha… ha… hngh…."
Who the fuck buys a carrot for 11,000 won?!
Big hopes, bigger crash. "Disappointment" didn't cover it.
Oblivious, the Jam Tigers swarmed in as usual.
★ "We've confirmed Kim Chaerin entering the dungeon with him."
Awakener Association Strategic Planning Director Na Hyunseo's office. Legs up on the desk, lounging arrogantly, she mulled over her secretary Lee Jina's report.
'Why on earth would the Saintess and Chaerin join a farmer team voluntarily…?'
Here, "farmer team" meant the ragtag party of me—who solved the Jam Tiger Rebellion—and the Saintess. Without her, it wouldn't even warrant a name. But with Chaerin aboard, the Association now tracked them separately.
"And this report—is it all accurate?"
"Yes!"
"No effects at all…?"
"Monitoring shows the items in DungeonLivingHereRatDa—DunSal for short—have zero effects."
"A farmer growing useless crops… so he's just their guide?"
"Yes, exactly."
"Then why are the Saintess and Chaerin with him?"
"Man-woman stuff is between them…."
Bam!—!
"You think I don't know that?!"
"S-sorry…."
"Haa… forget it. Keep surveilling the farmer team and report anything unusual immediately!"
"Yes!"
After Lee Jina left, Hyunseo propped her elbows on the desk, deep in thought.
No effects, no sales… except yesterday's new item sold out completely…?
Buyer comments seemed off. Someone bought them all solo. Rumors flew (Hong Kong trip BS), but truth unknown. Most called it a scam, but who knew.
After pondering, Hyunseo decided. She logged into DunSal and bought every listed carrot.
'What… just 1,000 won each?'
Market price, basically. She snapped up all 99.
Grabbed the office phone. "Hah… damn, hate calling…."
But no quicker way to verify.
"Prooofessor~ How've you been~? Ahahaha~ Yes~ Oh! About borrowing the lab a bit… Really? Thanks sooo much~ Be there soon~ Yes, yes! Miss you too~"
After kissing up to the witch professor she never wanted to see again, Hyunseo slammed the phone down. "Tch… no choice."
She donned her coat and headed to her alma mater's lab.