Let's Eat First!
Let's eat first! No way they mean the four-times-tastier To-carrots, right? Thinking back, I hadn't usually kept fruits in my inventory, but last time I'd grown 110 carrots, harvested them, and listed 99 in the shop. For reference, the maximum you can list at once in the Dungeon Shop is 99. Anyway, out of the remaining 11, I'd eaten 2 and stashed the other 9 in my inventory before leaving the dungeon—and that's how I'd come back in this time.
Does that mean the Jam Tigers can smell the crops I grew that are in my inventory? But if not, there'd be no reason for them to gather around me like this. Come to think of it, things hadn't felt off since entering the Dungeon Entrance. It started when we entered the Jam Tiger habitat, the Hill of Good and Evil—that's when they began swarming us. So the scent probably doesn't travel too far.
I'd unintentionally screwed over anyone else who wandered near the Jam Tiger habitat....
"They still say you have something really, really tasty, oppa."
"Hmm...."
Obviously, the four-times-tastier To-carrots had to be better than the two-times-tastier tomatoes. With a hunch, I opened the shop interface and quickly listed the 9 To-carrots I'd successfully synthesized today for sale in the Dungeon Shop. If I stayed like this, I'd end up donating every last To-carrot to the Jam Tigers.
The moment I listed them,
....As expected from the popular shop listings. No, true to its popularity, the moment I listed the item, people started flooding the comments like they'd been waiting. But Ajae, isn't that Kim Chaerin? She's right there next to him and still posting like that….
Anyway, just as I'd predicted, the new crop born from synthesis—To-carrot—was getting roasted in the comments right away.
That aside.
The change was immediate once I listed the To-carrots.
"Oh… my guess was right! Listing them in the shop was the key!"
The Jam Tigers who'd been sniffing around suddenly looked dejected once I listed all the To-carrots from my inventory. Their shoulders slumped, heads drooping. Their grinning faces stayed the same, but their eyes looked sad. The expression of sad eyes on grinning faces was even creepier and scarier, but I was honestly surprised to see them trudging off on their way. A few lingered, prowling around, but when Kim Chaerin pulled more fruits and veggies from—who knows, her pocket or inventory?—and tossed them far away, they all scattered.
"Phew… so they were swarming because of the food after all?"
"Yeah, 'cause you carry around so much tasty stuff, oppa."
Should I be happy about this? Or pissed? I never imagined the crops no one buys would be a hit with monsters.
But those things don't even have money! I need to sell in the shop to make cash—that's how my rich farmer healing golden life unfolds. Handing them out to monsters? When am I supposed to get rich and become a mega-farmer?!
Doubts about my abilities kept creeping in, but anyway, we'd cleared that hurdle. Seeing the Jam Tigers around us wander off, I figured it was time to head out.
I ignored Saintess Choi Eunji—who was puffing out her cheeks like she was sulking about something, hands on her hips, glaring at me fiercely—and said casually,
"Alright, let's head home!"
At that, Choi Eunji's face flushed red. Looked like she needed to pee again, so I quickly canceled the farmland.
"Ah… I wanna go home…."
After two days camping in the dungeon, I was dying to get home and shower. No place as comfy as my own home, even if it's just an 11-pyeong one-room. But right now, I was trapped in some suspicious spot?
The glass walls reflected me like mirrors, and the room only had a big desk and chair. It was like those interrogation rooms I'd seen on TV—so yeah, this was basically an interrogation room.
After passing through the gate, a ton of people (the kind who probably hold high positions) had come to greet us. Among all of them, the youngest-looking woman guided us to the Awakener Association building. She seemed like the lowest-rank staffer, her face full of exhaustion from bureaucracy.
She was pretty cute, though….
Anyway, I'd visited the Awakener Association once before for registration. It'd been two hours since they stuck me in this room. No explanation why, just left here abandoned.
"Ah… I'm starving… aren't they gonna feed me?"
Only tomatoes for two days—my stomach was empty. Even Mount Geumgang looks better after a meal; they gotta give me some rice at least. I kept signaling the wall-mounted CCTV, pretending to eat.
Clank—
After ages of miming eating, the door burst open. No knock—place had no manners. My face scrunched up instantly, but I plastered on a smile when I saw who entered.
The woman from the gate. Now changed into office-appropriate clothes.
Office-lady big-sis vibe. White blouse and a tight black skirt hugging her voluptuous hips without mercy. That alone was satisfying, but the black stockings sealed the perfect combo. And the crowning touch of fashion? The face! Her dark-brown hair swayed as she looked at me with a haughty expression. I tensed a bit, but played it cool and got to the point.
"Feed me first?"
Na Hyunseo was in a good mood. No need to enter the dungeon herself—the Saintess and Kim Chaerin had come out on their own. But the good mood didn't last.
"Staff will escort you both home…."
"No. I'm going to Ho Tae's place."
"Me too! I still have stuff to sayyy! Huh? No! Shut up! Doing what you say will ruin everything!!!"
Na Hyunseo's head spun. She'd been relieved the Saintess and Kim Chaerin emerged safely from the gate, but orders for simple health checks followed by safe escort home hit a snag. No matter how she persuaded or pressured, they wouldn't budge.
So stubborn…! After all the grief they've caused me…!
She fiddled with her resignation letter in the desk drawer, then threw up her hands and decided to meet the man who'd come out with them first.
It didn't matter why the two women—who needed both government oversight and protection—refused to go home for that. sus. pi. cious. man. Na Hyunseo had concluded his actions caused the dungeon anomaly, so pinpointing the cause was priority one. She entered the room where the man waited, and…
Hmm… is it the face? No time to look closely before, but up close, he bordered on handsome. Truth be told, Ho Tae wasn't some drop-dead flower boy. Just tall with a solid build, broad shoulders, a kind yet manly face that drew people in.
Anyway. She stared at Ho Tae, who was slouched and glaring at the CCTV, and he hit her with,
"Feed me first?"
Stunned by the random food request, Na Hyunseo forced a smile.
Ooh… big sis… that body's no joke…! Her crossed legs on the chair looked straight out of a movie. At 24, she seemed like a noona, but not that much older. Mid-to-late 20s tops? Honestly looked around my age, but her vibe screamed big sis. The mature allure like a 30-something, with her chest bursting at the seams fulfilling its role perfectly—my mouth went dry on instinct.
In that situation, I'd blown it a minute ago begging for food—self-loathing hit hard, but I tried switching gears.
"Um… so… did Choi Eunji and Kim Chaerin go home?"
"Calling Choi Eunji… and Kim Chaerin… by name?!"
"…Huh?"
"Ah, no. Slipped out. I'm Na Hyunseo, head of the Dungeon Anomaly Response Team. The Saintess and Kim Chaerin are resting in the waiting room. More importantly, can you explain what happened?"
"Hmm… Kim Chaerin knows better than me?"
"She's not in good shape right now, so I'd like Ho… Ho Tae-ssi’s perspective."
Kim Chaerin still seemed off. Talking to thin air wouldn't look stable. Anyway, I explained the gate incident to Na Hyunseo.
"So the fruits? Veggies? Whatever Ho Tae-ssi had drew the Black Cat Fighters. Then the gallery owner…."
"Not a gallery—my shop listing!"
"Ah, anyway. You entered the Dungeon Entrance as the Saintess's guide, posted coordinates in that gal… er, shop listing, and Kim Chaerin saw it and came to rescue you?"
"Rescue is…."
"Who the hell are you?! Why would Kim Chaerin save you?!"
Her sudden outburst startled me. Who am I? A farmer, sure, but growing useless, weird-looking crops. So I farm as a hobby. Guide trash-personality saintesses for cash like any average post-army guy. Dropped out of college but no plans to go back… never missed rent on my 11-pyeong studio. Anyway… what? Trying to describe myself brought on round two of self-loathing.
As I clamped my mouth shut, she huffed impatiently,
"D-Don't tell me you're two-timing the Saintess and Kim Chaerin…?"
".......What the hell, lady?"
Too ridiculous—words slipped out.
"L-Lady?!"
"Ah, that just slipped! What're you talking about? I guided Choi Eunji for pay, and Kim Chaerin? Met her today! Not even a full day—what two-timing? Me? With trash-personality saintess and my heart's number-one idol Kim Chaerin? You got the wrong guy!"
"A… auntie…."
"Hey? Didn't you hear me?"
"Auntie… me… an… auntie?"
"Aish… it was just a slip-up!"
Na Hyunseo clutched her head, denying reality. I'd blurted in anger too, but seeing this pro-looking woman unravel from her outfit onward was oddly fascinating. Plus, her massive, assertive chest—jiggle—jiggle—swaying every which way—blood rushed south.
Riding the pleasant erection, I scooted my butt back and said,
"Th-That slipped out. Anyway, when do we eat?"
Best topic-changer: food. Don't they order gomtang or country-style rice soup in interrogation rooms? Even criminals get fed—I'd done nothing wrong, stuck here over two hours without a bite! Human rights violation. Thankfully, my food whining snapped her back; she spoke up.
"Wh-What? Eat with me now? This guy's… hopeless? Two women waiting outside and you're hitting on me?!"
.........
Hey… what… are you even saying…? I just want some food ordered! I'm hungry!!!