The Suspicious Maid (Fake) (2)

The cat-ear maid cafe Afternoon Lasagna had precious little to do with the main story of GMS.

There was the foreshadowing that the Head Maid was no ordinary "human," for one thing. Or the fact that hers was the only establishment to come through Serket's large-scale invasion completely unscathed.

There was no shortage of dangling threads like these. And yet, even by the time GMS's main story rolled into its final chapter, not a single one of them had ever been paid off.

The accepted wisdom among players was that the whole cafe was simply "plausible setup" the developers had cooked up as an excuse to put the cast in maid outfits.

'And in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠practice, every Afternoon Lasagna event had indeed been nothing but gag stories.'

Which was why even Siwoo's knowledge of Afternoon Lasagna was far from complete. But one thing was certain—

"Alpin-nyang! Break time's over—get back to work this instant, nya!"

"I was never on break."

"There you go again! Your mind is slacking off again, nya!"

"...Nya."

Sure enough, there was something deeply wrong about Alpinia working at Afternoon Lasagna.

"Not to me, please—kindly settle your bill at the counter. Nya."

"Here ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you are—one Sparkling Jewel-Filled Chocolate Crêpe for Master. Nya."

"We hope you have a lovely day, Master."

She was even doing a reasonably proper job of it. Annoyance and exhaustion were smeared thick across her face, but she still recited the mortifying lines in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a perfectly flat monotone, without so much as a ripple of inflection.

'Which meant the odds that Afternoon Lasagna had been absorbed into Serket were...'

"Alpin-nyang! Did you happen to touch the blender that was in here, nya?"

"...No."

"Don't you avert your eyes, nya! Say it looking at the Head Maid, nya!"

The Head Maid in full fury; Alpinia, plugging one ear with an expression of profound bother, wiping down a table.

'...looking low.'

In any event, one thing had been established: within this shop, Alpinia kept docile.

'In which case, I may as well regard this place as a safe zone.'

Siwoo was solemnly weighing the establishment's usefulness when Alpinia abruptly thrust a menu out at him.

"I'll take your order. Nya."

"Hmm—."

What Siwoo would order had been decided long ago. The one dish that could be called Afternoon Lasagna's trademark.

"This one."

Over the photograph of the omurice, Siwoo crossed his thumb and index finger into a small heart.

A secret menu item, orderable only by those who knew the sign.

"...Haah."

Alpinia took a moment to steady her breathing.

"Fluffy Sweet Homemade Omurice, order received. Nya. With this dish, you are entitled to a service in which the maid draws her very own signature design—unless, perhaps, you might not... not require it? Nya."

"I need it."

One of Alpinia's cheeks shuddered violently.

'She utterly despises this.'

Siwoo was well aware that the whole performance risked prodding Alpinia's temper.

'But how is anyone expected to resist Alpinia's secret menu?'

For a man who had once achieved a 100 percent collection rate of every character's signature omurice art, this was an event he could never in good conscience skip.

'That said—can Alpinia even cook...?'

Depending on the character, some of them turned out things that could not charitably be called food. Siwoo had steeled himself for the worst case, all the way down to rice topped with raw egg, shell fragments and all.

Against expectations, however, the dish Alpinia produced ranked comfortably among the well-made. She set the omurice down in front of Siwoo, then took hold of the ketchup bottle in an upside-down grip.

"Be delicious. Be delicious. Nya. Nya. Kgh."

'Grumbling the whole way, yet she does everything required of her.'

She wasn't just squeezing out some perfunctory scrawl and calling it done—she was drawing the picture properly.

Charlotte, who had been eating a sandwich at a nearby table, came shuffling over and planted her chin on Alpinia's shoulder.

"What! Why didn't you tell me they had a menu like this?!"

"You never asked."

Siwoo swallowed. This was within range of his ability. And as it happened, Charlotte's attention was wholly absorbed by the picture Alpinia was drawing on the omurice.

'Shall I?'

Slowly, carefully, Siwoo extended his hand toward Charlotte.

Smack.

"I must earnestly request that you kindly refrain from the act of touching."

Having swatted his hand away, Alpinia tipped her gaze toward the wall where the shop regulations were posted.

Taken at face value, it read as a warning not to lay hands on the maids—herself included.

'But she had known exactly where my hand was headed: Charlotte.'

"Ulp?! Wa—Unnie! I almost bit my tongue!"

"Kindly get off."

After shaking Charlotte loose from her shoulder, she slipped—none too subtly—into the space between Siwoo and Charlotte.

'She's cutting off my approach to Charlotte?'

Come to think of it, Charlotte clung to Alpinia to a frankly peculiar degree. Of course, in "this worldline," Serket's assault on the academy had never occurred.

Which meant the incident in which Charlotte fell into drugs had never happened either. Hadn't happened—or so he had believed.

'And if that premise were wrong?'

The possibility that Alpinia had already administered the drug to Charlotte, and was now pulling her strings under the pretext of keeping her supplied.

Then again, perhaps Siwoo's leaps of logic were simply running too far ahead of him.

"By the way, Unnie, what's this flower called?"

"No idea."

And yet. The picture that Alpinia—looking to be thinking of nothing whatsoever—had idly, absentmindedly drawn.

'Is this... a provocation?'

A display of confidence: go ahead, try to stop it if you can.

What had been drawn on the omurice was the raw ingredient of a certain drug not yet known to the world. The emblem of the narcotic that would one day be called Upper.

Siwoo stopped Charlotte just outside the shop.

"S-Sha— I mean, student!"

"Yes? Who...?"

Charlotte, who had been strolling along with a tune under her breath, turned, a puzzled look on her face.

"A-Are you, um, close with that maid?"

Charlotte's gaze traveled over him. A moment later, she placed him as the customer who'd been in the shop until just now.

A frosty glint settled into her eyes.

"Why do you ask."

Every so often, people approached Charlotte exactly like this. Asking her to pass a message along, or to hand over her number.

'Unnie cuts them off without a shred of mercy. So they come to me—the one who looks like a pushover.'

"If you're about to ask for something in return, the answer is an unconditional no."

"No, it's not that, it's just... the thing is."

Siwoo held out his academy instructor's credential. Fresh doubt blossomed in Charlotte's eyes.

"Oh. You're an instructor."

"I am. So if anything ever comes up, student, you're welcome to consult—"

Charlotte looked him dead in the eye.

"Me? Consult you? Why?"

"What do you mean, why? As an instructor—out of concern for a student."

"You're worried about a student from a completely different department, one you've never met in your life, out of nowhere like this?"

The wariness in Charlotte's eyes deepened.

"What exactly is it you're worried about, anyway?"

She stopped to mull it over—and then, abruptly, her face flooded scarlet.

"I-It's not like that!"

"...Pardon?"

"She's just a close Unnie of mine! There is absolutely, absolutely nothing improper going on between us!"

'Fascination, then?''But Charlotte shouldn't have had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠any taste for women.'

Siwoo, who had been observing her reactions with the utmost seriousness, nodded before long.

"If, by any chance, you are experiencing any unusual symptoms, I would be glad to arrange a serious consultation—"

"I'm telling you, that's not what this is!"

Furious, Charlotte made to leave right then and there, so Siwoo hurriedly pressed on.

"A-Anyway! That maid is suspicious."

Charlotte stopped short, back still half-turned.

"I know."

Just as Siwoo said, Alpinia was suspicious. Charlotte knew better than anyone that Alpinia still kept plenty of secrets. And even if Charlotte herself were to ask, she doubted she'd get any straight answers.

So she asked nothing at all.

"That's why—"

"Even so, I trust my Unnie."

Instead, Charlotte had chosen to trust.

'Well, lending out my name did buy me a few bits of the truth here and there.'

Siwoo watched her retreating back, lips parting hesitantly.

"...Might I ask just one favor?"

"What."

Ice-cold.

"There is a spell that can verify a target's current condition."

"...There's a spell that does that?"

Charlotte's manner shifted slightly.

"Yes. It's my 'Unique Magic.'"

"Whoa..."

Her attitude flipped on the spot; before he knew it, Charlotte had drawn up close to him, eyes shining.

'Exactly the same reaction as in Charlotte's first bond story.'

A faint smile touched the corner of Siwoo's mouth, then vanished.

"Would you permit me to try my magic on you, student?"

'Whether Alpinia has done anything to her—'

Siwoo swallowed the rest of the sentence.

Charlotte hesitated a moment, visibly weighing it.

"It's not some strange or dangerous spell, right?"

"I would stake every last drop of my mana: no, it is not."

For a moment, Charlotte's gaze slid toward the shop's front window. Alpinia was pretending not to watch while covertly tracking the whole exchange—and at the sight of her, a soft smile settled on Charlotte's face.

Steadying his trembling heart, Siwoo reached out a hand toward Charlotte.

"Status Window."

Charlotte flashed a bashful grin.

"So? How is it?"

Siwoo, his face frozen solid, answered in a low voice.

"...No problems at all."

A dark night. A quiet clearing, walled in by trees on every side.

Grinning from ear to ear, Charlotte spread both arms wide and flung herself into my embrace.

"Shall I give you a kiss, Unnie?"

"No."

Has this girl lost her mind?