First Outing (1)
The first meal I'd shared with Sohwi had finally come to an end. He seemed genuinely satisfied just to eat together like that. The moment the meal was over, he told me to rest easy and slipped out of the room. After the maid cleared the table, I was finally alone—and I flopped right back onto the floor where I'd been sitting.
Just one meal together, and why did it leave me so drained? Thank goodness he didn't suggest having tea or dessert afterward. After that "seobangnim" slip-up, I'd been mortified enough to die. I'm never calling him that again.
Hwaya would probably nag me that lying around like this was bad for my body, but my energy was completely spent from getting dressed and eating. I'm staying right here until she comes back.
Still, it had been worth the exhaustion. I'd managed to postpone the wedding indefinitely, after all. Maybe calling for outright cancellation was the wrong word choice.
"Let's just put it off instead. If we cancel it flat-out, people will think it's a broken engagement."
At least he understood how burdensome it would be to go through with the marriage right now, with no memories intact. I felt bad for Sohwi, but in this world where the vibe screamed that marriage meant consummation right away, I wanted to avoid the ceremony no matter the reason. That said, I had no intention of pretending it never happened at all. I just wanted to scrap the scheduled date.
This wasn't my life—it was Ryu Sua's, which I'd only borrowed for a while. To atone as much as I could when I eventually returned to my original world, I needed to keep her life as intact as possible. That is, if it wasn't just an excuse.
Maybe it was mere rationalization, born from fear of changing anything drastically. Maybe fretting over Ryu Sua's life was pointless anyway. In typical romance-fantasy possession stories, the original soul rarely returns to its world once possessed, and even then, the path back is clearly spelled out.
But I knew nothing about this place, and there was no guide telling me what to do to get home. I might have to live here as Ryu Sua forever.
Pushing them away now and making it clear I wasn't the real Ryu Sua might be the smart move for the future. I'm a guy, after all. I'm not like those other possession protagonists.
But I couldn't do it. The moment I did, it felt like I'd truly never get back—like my choices wouldn't matter anyway, but the fear held me back. Staying as the amnesiac Ryu Sua let me bask in their affection without fully reciprocating it. It was selfish: shirking responsibility while clinging to the perks.
Part of me wished Ryu Sua's soul would appear, call me a thief who'd stolen her place, and chew me out. Then I could explain it wasn't my fault and let her decide what I should do.
Enough! Lying here staring at the ceiling just spawned useless thoughts. I'd already steeled myself for survival. No regrets or hesitation now.
More importantly...
"Ma'am, did you enjoy your meal...? Ma'am! Lying down right after eating is bad for you! You need to change clothes too! You're only just starting to recover..."
"Ugh..."
Hwaya's nagging was next on the agenda.
A few more dinners with Sohwi passed after that. My body had mostly recovered, so I no longer needed help with daily life. Thanks to that, Hwaya had given me a tour of the estate yesterday, and now I could move around on my own—no more nursing care.
Back to normal meals, without the ordeal of physiological issues... No, forget those memories. I decided to erase them. Nothing happened.
Anyway, now that I was healthy and done with being bedridden...
"This is boring."
There still wasn't anything to do. My body was fine, but the days of staring blankly at the ceiling or out the window dragged on endlessly. This was torture. For someone from the modern world overflowing with quick dopamine hits, forced detox like this was pure agony.
Should I learn embroidery like Hwaya suggested? Or barge into the kitchen and offer to help? Peeling veggies or prepping ingredients might kill the boredom. I'm pretty good at it, too...
But no, I couldn't. If the lady of the house invaded the kitchen whining about boredom and demanding work, they'd probably wish she was dead instead. And I am that lady. Can't go bothering the hardworking staff just because I'm bored...
Doing nothing left my thoughts drifting to depressing places. I needed something.
As I sighed deeply, lost in thought, Hwaya returned from fetching the tea tray. I'd been about to earnestly ask her to teach me embroidery since I was so bored, but she spoke first.
"Ma'am, how about a walk?"
"A walk?"
Strolling through the garden outside the window, maybe? I wasn't keen on the garden. I'd heard Sohwi often rested there in his true form. I shook my head, ready to decline...
"You could gather materials for embroidery practice and get some light exercise. What if we went to the nearby village?"
"Sounds good. I want to go."
I nodded immediately at Hwaya's suggestion of the village instead of the garden. Seeing somewhere beyond the estate might jog a memory, and I was curious what the local village looked like anyway.
"We could stop by a bookstore for novels you'd enjoy. Hmm... browsing the market sounds fun too."
"The village must be pretty big."
"Yes, it's quite large—everything you could want. We staff visit often on our days off."
Why was a simple outing proposal getting me so excited? My days must've been more monotonous than I realized. My heart raced like a kid hyped for a picnic.
"Shall we go right now?"
"No, we need permission from the doctor and the master first."
So, still boring today, then. My budding excitement deflated at Hwaya's words. But if we just got approval, we'd go—no big deal, right?
"The doctor said light exercise would be good, so he'll probably approve. But..."
"But?"
"The master might not."
"Why, why not?"
Her unexpected response threw me. I'd assumed a simple outing would be fine. He'd postponed the wedding without fuss, after all. Surely he'd okay this?
Was Sohwi secretly the obsessive type who wouldn't let "his woman" step outside, despite his gentle true form?
"Because you were attacked while walking alone."
"Oh. R-right, but... if someone goes with me, it'll be fine."
I'd have brushed it off if I hadn't known, but now that outing was on the table only to possibly get shot down... I'd already gotten my hopes up. No backing out now.
"You've improved a lot, but you're still a patient."
"I'm totally healthy now...!"
"I'll ask the master tonight. I'm sure he'll say yes."
Hwaya was optimistic, but as a veteran reader of romance fantasies, I figured clichés would kick in—he'd block the outing with every excuse, worried about Ryu Sua who'd gotten hurt on his watch. If I didn't push, I'd be staring at ceiling patterns forever.
Time to persuade him at dinner. Even if he was overprotective, get approval once and momentum would carry the rest. Somehow, just once—that was the goal.
I'd need to be a bit more proactive.
Hwaya suggested that since Sua seemed bored cooped up in the estate, she should take a trip to the nearby village. Given Sua's personality, just resting and being nursed must've been dull. She'd been remarkably well-behaved about recovery so far—except that first day.
The village wasn't far, and it was one I visited often, so there was no reason to refuse. I'd planned to tell her to have fun and come back safe during dinner.
"Sohwi-nim. I know you're worried, but please let me go out."
"Ah. I was about to..."
"Of course you're concerned. I'll stick close to my escorts and be careful."
She seemed to misunderstand. Like she thought I'd refuse.
"It might not sit well with you, but if you grant my request... I'll grant one of yours. How's that?"
A surprise gift out of nowhere.
"Then call me seobangnim."
"Pardon?"
"Don't want to? If it's too soon for outings..."
"No! I'll do it—I'll call you seobangnim!"