Face-to-Face Dinner (2)
Living life, the only primping I'd ever received was a trim at the salon for hair that had grown too long. To me, Hwaya's full-body styling—even the simplified version—was more exhausting than handling the lunch rush orders. I couldn't believe this was the light version. What on earth did they do for a regular day, and how long did the full-effort treatment take for important occasions? "Since the Great Madam isn't well, we'll keep it simple," she'd said, but her energy as she fussed over my hair for nearly an hour had overwhelmed me completely. I couldn't bring myself to say I was tired and wanted to stop.
She'd braided it into three neat strands and tied the end with a ribbon. Now, fiddling with the tip between my fingers, I gazed out the slightly open window at the sky gradually turning red and let out a sigh.
"Haah…."
This was it—the real first meeting with the male lead. It was the most crucial part of surviving in this world from here on out. To him, I was his lover who'd lost her memories, so as long as I didn't deliberately provoke him, there shouldn't be any issues. I was a man. Not the Ryu Sua he knew. As long as I didn't shove him away outright like that, his feelings might cool over time, but he wouldn't cast me out.
But fully reciprocating his affection positively was a problem too. Forget issues like his love not being for me, or him seeking someone who wasn't me—the real root of it was far more basic. How the hell was I supposed to marry a giant fox man? And live out some rofan-style marriage where who knew what might happen to me. I didn't even know what point in the story I'd possessed into, which doubled my worries. If this was the early part of the novel or before it even started, what awaited the heroine wasn't a happy marriage but a painful one.
I'd always thought rofan marriages were brutally harsh on the heroines, but looking back now, it was straight-up abuse. Being neglected after he lost interest post-wedding was the light stuff. Kidnapped and sold off to start a forced new life, tormented over misunderstandings, discarded after he took a concubine... And this was supposed to be one of the milder ones? What the hell did rofan authors think love was? As long as they ended up happy, it was all good?
What about the latter half, heading toward the ending and side stories? That was even worse. Endings and side stories were usually all about the male and female leads' lovey-dovey newlywed life—traveling, getting pregnant, raising kids, that whole deal! Me, traveling with a giant fox, getting knocked up under his belly, then childbirth and childcare afterward? No way in hell. I'd sooner climb out that window and stage a second escape right now.
...Still, compared to fleeing into the unknown, I wanted to stay safe here and find a way back to my original world. Selfish, right? I wanted the perks of being the giant fox's wife—the care and protection—but dodge every single duty that came with it.
"Can't do that…."
I muttered it quietly, half-cursing myself for knowing better yet being so selfish anyway.
"What can't you do?"
A reply came. I looked up at the sound. There, seated and smiling at me, was a man with snow-white hair. The ears atop his head, the lush white tail, and those yellow eyes gazing at me all screamed he was the giant fox from the forest. The chill of primal fear that hit me the moment I met those yellow eyes sealed the certainty.
"Kyaa... Wh-when did you get here...?"
"When I came in, you were fiddling with your hair, lost in thought. I rather like watching you like that."
So he'd been staring at me the whole time. Thank goodness I hadn't been voicing my thoughts aloud while sorting them out. Otherwise, I'd have been exposed as not the real Ryu Sua, and who knew what he'd do—oriental rofan style, maybe call in a shaman for an exorcism on the "evil spirit possessing the lady," or turn me into a component for some Joseon-era search engine hunting down a nonexistent hideout.
His eyes bored into me curiously, as if wondering what I was thinking. It was too much; I averted my gaze slightly and opened my mouth.
"...I have no memories, but everyone treats me like the madam. It feels so grateful... but like something I shouldn't be doing."
"No need for such worries. You are my wife, after all."
He wouldn't say that if he knew a pitch-black man was inside. To him, it was just comforting his confused wife.
"But you seem to recognize me? I came in this form so you wouldn't be startled, though I figured you wouldn't."
"Your voice is the same as in the forest..., so I thought so."
"Is that right? Feels good that you remembered so quickly."
His smile left a bitter taste in my mouth. I had no idea what to say to someone so purely delighted. I just fiddled uselessly with my hair and kept looking away.
With my mouth shut, an awkward silence settled over the room. I needed to say something to keep the conversation going. I'd resolved to, but my lips wouldn't move easily.
Thankfully, the silence didn't last.
"Master. May I bring in the meal?"
"Yes."
It was dinnertime. A maid arrived carrying the tray laden with food. I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and turn my eyes to the spread.
A table a bit large for two people, with neat brass dishes arranged on it. Glossy white rice still steaming fresh from the pot, a clear soup thickened with beaten eggs and mushrooms. A grilled fish each in front of me and him. Familiar Korean-style side dishes like seasoned bracken fern and aster, plus a bowl of dongchimi. It tempted me so much I nearly grabbed my chopsticks on instinct—but with the lord of the house right here, starting first without him would be rude.
I waited for him to begin, stealing glances at him. But he showed no sign of starting. Was he waiting for something? Or did I already mess up somehow? Some sequence I didn't know? No way for me to figure it out.
"Um... aren't you going to eat?"
I steeled myself and asked directly. No memories—what could I do? Just ask.
"Hm? Ah, right."
At my question, he seemed to snap to awareness, lifting a spoon with an awkward motion and scooping some soup into his mouth.
"Forgot I was waiting."
Waiting? For what? Had he been waiting for me to pick up my chopsticks first?
"You wouldn't remember, but the wife always took the first bite to show her mood with her actions. It was fun guessing, so in our private meals, you always started first."
"I see."
"Sorry to make the patient wait unintentionally. No need to hold back next time."
So that's why he'd been staring. Relieved it wasn't some problem, but that inexplicable bitterness lingered in my mouth anyway.
Enough. Save the heavy thoughts for when I'm alone later. Food first. It would be rude to mope in front of this carefully prepared meal.
I scooped a spoonful of the glossy white rice and brought it to my mouth. As always, I inhaled the aroma first. The nutty scent of scorched rice from the traditional pot filled my senses. I slipped the rice into my mouth and chewed slowly. Even just the rice alone spread a subtle sweetness across my tongue. I'd noticed it with the porridge too—this place made rice perfectly. No wonder possessors didn't suffer with food unless the story revolved around cooking; I wanted to ask the chef their secret.
I savored the aromas of the other sides and soup, chewing each bite slowly as I ate. But across from me, he was barely touching his food, poking at the sides with his chopsticks while still watching me.
Not to his taste? His rice was steadily disappearing, so probably not... Ah, chopsticks must be unfamiliar. Makes sense—his true form was a fox, after all.
I was about to ask if he needed help when—
"Um... uh...."
What should I call him? With "mister" tacked to his name? But I didn't even know it. Should've asked Hwaya during styling... Did the other maids call him "Master"? That felt off. Fine for a stray kid, but his wife calling him that would seem weird.
Then... a term a wife might use for her husband. Like, um... uh...
"Need help with the chopsticks? Seobangnim?"
"…"
Clink. Midway through his awkward chopstick work, he froze solid. His mouth parted slightly in surprise, and the chopsticks slipped from his hand, clattering onto the table.
Wrong choice? Something else better? But "honey" or "darling" would've been too embarrassing. Should've just gone with "Master." Why'd I even try a couple's pet name?
"Sorry if that was weird. I don't know your name and wasn't sure how to address you…."
My face burned with embarrassment as I rushed out the excuse.
"Pft—hahahaha!"
He just burst out laughing. Wh-what, that funny? I'd put real thought into it….